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Networking isn’t about just exchanging business cards; it’s about building relationships and creating a sense of community.

1. Networking Is About Relationships, Not Numbers

Networking is more than collecting business cards or adding contacts on LinkedIn. It’s about creating meaningful relationships that matter in both your professional and personal life. These connections stand the test of time, adapting as jobs and opportunities change, and often forming a support system in uncertain times.

To be an effective networker, focus on quality over quantity. This means engaging genuinely with others, understanding their needs, and seeking ways to help them, even without immediate benefits for yourself. Alana Muller emphasizes that the essence of networking lies in fostering mutual value over merely seeking favors.

Arianna Huffington, for example, exemplified this approach by giving out her private email after a meeting, fostering ongoing dialogue. Networking is about curiosity—getting to know stories, challenges, and myriads of interests of the people you encounter, fostering enduring and rewarding bonds.

Examples

• Arianna Huffington connected with attendees by offering her personal email, extending meaningful conversations.
• Instead of amassing contacts, Muller's nine-month networking spree created a community of over 200 people she meaningfully engaged with.
• Attendees of Laurel Touby's early networking events often left with valuable new professional relationships.

2. Crafting Community Can Change Your Life

Networking is more than a tool; it’s a lifestyle that builds networks of engaged, supportive individuals. Creating a community through regular connections can help you stay better prepared for career changes, challenges, or opportunities that lie ahead.

Muller herself experienced this when she left her job at Sprint Nextel. She avoided isolation by scheduling daily meetings for nine months straight, connecting with over 200 people. This diligent effort helped her form a safety net of individuals, ideas, and opportunities that paved the way for her current role as President of Kauffman’s FastTrac.

In essence, your network turns into a dynamic ecosystem. It functions not just as a fallback resource for jobs, but as a continuous source of updates, knowledge-sharing, and avenues for collaborations.

Examples

• Muller transformed her job search into a platform to meet 200 individuals and created opportunities for both herself and others.
• Her 160+ meetings during nine months ignited partnerships, helping her navigate post-career transitions.
• Networking guru Laurel Touby built Mediabistro by creating friendly, informal environments for peers to collaborate and connect.

3. Know Your Goals Before You Begin

Effective networking begins with defining what you want. Muller's advice is crystal clear: Your long-term goals shape your short-term ones. Answering questions about where you'd like to be in the next few months or years helps direct your networking efforts.

Once clear about your goals, detail them further with focused lists: people you already know, individuals and companies you’d like to connect with, and your non-negotiable factors. Being prepared means knowing exactly what you bring to the table and researching those you seek to meet.

Muller also introduces a three-pronged preparation strategy: prepare your mind (do research), spirit (focus on long-term vision), and body (reflect positivity and confidence). This keeps the process intentional and productive.

Examples

• Listing companies of interest can guide you toward networking with key players in those organizations.
• Having non-negotiables like location preferences ensures you target the right opportunities.
• Researching attendees before an event gives you specific conversation starters.

4. Storytelling Is Your Networking Superpower

Stories make connections memorable. For impactful networking, storytelling centers around relatable anecdotes from your career. It captures attention, drives conversations, and reveals your skills in a relatable way.

Begin with an engaging email to set the stage for your meeting. Highlight your interests and how you can contribute, but reserve your résumé for later. In face-to-face meetings, unfold your story deliberately, including challenges you've faced, the solutions you devised, and the lessons learned along the way.

Prepare these anecdotes in advance to ensure they're compelling and tailored to your audience. A well-told story provides context, reveals personality, and invites reciprocated storytelling from colleagues.

Examples

• Use storytelling to turn professional conflicts into narratives showcasing your growth.
• Design your email introduction to highlight why a meeting could be mutually beneficial.
• Practice telling your story in front of a mirror to refine delivery.

5. Bring Your Best Self to Every Meeting

Networking isn’t just about what you say, but also how you conduct yourself. Muller's advice is to always approach networking meetings with confidence, preparation, and a genuine willingness to listen.

Begin with a firm handshake and maintain eye contact—it conveys confidence and attentiveness. Reduce stress by focusing on proper breathing and controlling hand movements. Most importantly, listen more than talk. Being fully present allows you to glean insights from the conversation that might lead to unexpected opportunities.

Preparation and composure provide a solid foundation for a successful networking meeting. Confidence and kindness go hand-in-hand when building relationships.

Examples

• Practice mindfulness techniques like deep breaths to manage stress before walking into the room.
• Research the other person’s interests in advance to connect over common ground.
• Open-ended questions such as “How does your past experience help in your current role?” keep conversations engaging.

6. Build and Maintain a Killer Portfolio

Your portfolio is the toolkit for professional networking. It represents who you are and helps you stand out. Muller encourages creating a portfolio that includes an updated résumé, a concise bio, business cards, and a sharp elevator pitch.

Make your résumé enticing but leave space for questions—Eric Morgenstern likens it to a negligee, revealing yet mysterious! Bio versions should vary in length so you're prepared for formal events or casual meetings. Your business cards and professional headshot complete your toolkit, ensuring you’re instantly memorable.

Keep refining your portfolio as you grow. Follow up after meetings to show gratitude and reinforce the connection with personalized notes.

Examples

• A well-rehearsed 30-second elevator pitch introduces you quickly and effectively.
• Use a high-quality headshot to make your résumé stand out.
• Send targeted thank-you emails that highlight specific topics from your meeting.

7. Be Ready for Organic Opportunities

Networking isn't limited to scheduled meetings or events. Social gatherings, seminars, and even chance encounters hold opportunities to establish new connections. Being spontaneous and open can lead to amazing outcomes.

Muller shares Laurel Touby’s story of hosting informal meetups for freelancers. This habit evolved into Mediabistro, a thriving platform that later sold for $25 million. These interactions started casually yet led to impactful networking.

Seeing opportunities where others see routine moments is a hallmark of effective networkers. Sometimes, stepping out of your comfort zone delivers the most rewarding surprises.

Examples

• Touby's casual gatherings created numerous job opportunities for attendees.
• Engage with strangers during conferences or panels—you might meet a future collaborator.
• Approach social settings as open-ended networking experiments.

8. Networking Success Requires Persistence

Great networkers don't give up. Muller emphasizes that relationship-building is a long game. Not every meeting results in direct opportunity, but the connections you cultivate grow with time.

Be prepared for slow progress. Muller met over 200 people before landing her dream role, demonstrating the importance of consistent effort and the resilience to keep going. Use every interaction to learn something new or form a meaningful bond.

Relationships resemble gardens—requiring care, attention, and patience to flourish. A networking journey continues unfolding even when immediate results aren't visible.

Examples

• Muller met 160 different contacts over nine months before finding her next big role.
• Maintaining connections over time increases long-term value.
• Asking open-ended questions keeps relationships dynamic.

9. Networking Is a Lifelong Practice

Networking isn’t a quick fix; it’s a continual effort to remain engaged with others. It requires curiosity, adaptability, and genuine interest. Regular practice sharpens your instincts and introduces you to fresh perspectives.

Muller compares networking to learning a new language—it takes regular practice to become fluent. Engaging actively builds not only contacts but also trust and credibility within your network.

By fostering these relationships, you develop a community where mutual growth becomes the end goal.

Examples

• Use casual gatherings to continue practicing your conversational skills.
• Turn acquaintances into mentors by asking the right questions.
• Seek mastery by constantly learning about others’ professional journeys.

Takeaways

1. Set weekly or monthly goals for the number of new people you meet and maintain regular follow-ups with existing connections.
2. Polish your portfolio, including an updated résumé, elevator pitch, and high-quality business cards.
3. Practice storytelling by crafting three compelling career-related anecdotes you can share during meetings.