Communicate to Influence Summary

Great communication isn’t just about what you say—it’s about how you make people feel and inspire them to act.

1. Avoiding Common Communication Pitfalls

Many people unknowingly sabotage their communication efforts by making five common mistakes. These include over-focusing on content, lacking authenticity, being unprepared, ignoring self-awareness, and sticking to the status quo. Each of these errors can alienate an audience or make a message forgettable.

For instance, focusing solely on content can lead to a dry, monotonous delivery, no matter how important the information is. Authenticity is equally important; audiences can sense when a speaker is being insincere, which erodes trust. Preparation is another key factor—winging it rarely works, even in casual settings. Self-awareness is also critical, as communicators often fail to recognize how their tone, pace, or body language comes across. Finally, staying in a comfort zone and avoiding risks can prevent growth and limit the impact of your message.

By addressing these mistakes, communicators can create more engaging, trustworthy, and memorable interactions. It’s not just about what you say but how you say it and how you connect with your audience.

Examples

• A monotonous speaker discussing groundbreaking research loses the audience’s attention.
• Presidential candidates who appear authentic often win over those who seem rehearsed.
• A manager who practices their pitch beforehand delivers a more compelling message.

2. The Challenge of Modern Attention Spans

In today’s world, shortened attention spans and a growing distrust of authority make communication harder than ever. People are bombarded with information, and mobile devices have created an "attention economy" where every notification competes for focus.

This constant distraction has left people with less patience for long-winded or uninspiring messages. At the same time, trust in traditional authority figures has eroded, especially after events like the 2008 financial crisis. This means communicators must work harder to earn credibility and attention. To stand out, messages need to be both authentic and inspiring, offering something meaningful to the audience.

The rise of socially conscious businesses like TOMS shows how combining purpose with authenticity can capture attention. People want to feel part of something bigger, and communicators who tap into this desire can break through the noise.

Examples

• A 2012 poll found that 84% of people check their phones daily, making it harder to hold their attention.
• The 2008 financial crisis damaged trust in leaders, with less than 20% of people believing they are truthful.
• TOMS’ "one-for-one" model resonates with audiences seeking purpose-driven brands.

3. The Four Communication Styles

The Deckers’ Communicators Road Map identifies four communication styles: informing, directing, entertaining, and inspiring. While each has its place, the goal is to move toward the inspiring style, which combines emotional connection with relevant content to drive action.

Informing is about sharing facts without guidance, while directing adds instructions but often lacks emotional engagement. Entertaining focuses on eliciting emotions like laughter but may lack substance. Inspiring, however, blends emotional resonance with actionable content, making it the most effective style for motivating an audience.

To transition to an inspiring style, communicators should balance emotional connection with a clear, audience-centered message. This approach can transform a dry presentation into a memorable and impactful experience.

Examples

• Martin Luther King Jr.’s speeches combined emotional appeal with a clear call to action.
• A boss who only directs may get compliance but not enthusiasm from their team.
• Talk show hosts like Jimmy Kimmel entertain but rarely inspire action.

4. The Power of Non-Verbal Communication

Non-verbal cues like eye contact, body language, and facial expressions play a huge role in how messages are received. These visual elements often speak louder than words and can make or break a connection with the audience.

Eye contact, for example, builds trust and shows that you care about your listeners. Body language, such as standing in a "ready position," conveys confidence and energy. Smiling is another simple yet effective way to appear approachable and calm, even if you’re nervous.

By mastering these non-verbal tools, communicators can project warmth, confidence, and trustworthiness, making their messages more impactful.

Examples

• Holding eye contact for five seconds per person in a small group fosters connection.
• Standing straight with shoulders back projects confidence.
• A genuine smile can calm nerves and make a speaker more likable.

5. Vocal Variety and Pauses

A monotone voice can ruin even the most compelling message. To keep an audience engaged, speakers should vary their pace, volume, and pitch. Strategic pauses can also add emphasis and give listeners time to absorb key points.

For example, speeding up and raising your volume during an important point creates excitement, while slowing down and lowering your tone can signal seriousness. Avoiding "up talk," where sentences end on a high note, is also important, as it can make you sound uncertain.

Imagining your audience as close friends can help you strike the right tone. This approach makes your delivery feel natural and engaging, drawing listeners in.

Examples

• A speaker who pauses after a key point gives the audience time to reflect.
• Varying pitch and tone keeps listeners attentive and highlights transitions.
• Avoiding "up talk" ensures you sound confident and credible.

6. The SHARP Method: Stories and Humor

Stories and humor are powerful tools for creating emotional connections. They make messages memorable and help audiences relate to the speaker. The SHARP method—Stories, Humor, Analogies, References, and Pictures—provides a framework for adding these elements.

For instance, a heartwarming story about friendship can illustrate a point more effectively than dry statistics. Humor, especially self-deprecating humor, can make a speaker seem humble and relatable. These elements not only engage the audience but also make the message stick.

By incorporating SHARPs, communicators can turn abstract ideas into vivid, relatable experiences.

Examples

• A Guinness ad used a story about wheelchair basketball to highlight friendship.
• A speaker’s self-deprecating joke about their height made them more relatable.
• A fundraiser used personal stories of at-risk teens to inspire donations.

7. Analogies, References, and Visuals

Analogies, references, and visuals are other SHARP tools that make complex ideas easier to understand and more engaging. Analogies link new concepts to familiar ones, while references and quotes add credibility. Visuals, like striking images or props, bring messages to life.

For example, an engineer used the Great Baltimore Fire of 1904 to explain the importance of standardization. A subway campaign against sugary drinks used a vivid image of soda turning into fat to drive its point home.

These tools not only clarify messages but also make them more memorable and impactful.

Examples

• An analogy about incompatible fire hoses illustrated the need for standardization.
• A quote from a respected leader added weight to a presentation.
• A health campaign used a bold visual to discourage sugary drink consumption.

8. Understanding Your Audience

To connect with an audience, you need to understand their needs, expectations, and knowledge. Creating an audience profile with three key adjectives can help tailor your message to their interests.

For example, if your audience is busy, growth-focused, and unfamiliar with your topic, you can frame your message to address these traits. A clear Point of View (POV) statement and actionable steps further ensure your message resonates and inspires action.

By aligning your message with your audience’s desires, you increase the chances of engagement and impact.

Examples

• A busy audience appreciates concise, actionable advice.
• A growth-focused audience responds to messages about opportunity.
• An unfamiliar audience benefits from clear, simple explanations.

9. Structuring Messages with the Decker Grid

The Decker Grid is a tool for organizing presentations into a clear, logical structure. It includes sections for your opening, key points, and closing, ensuring your message flows smoothly.

For example, you might start with a story to grab attention, state your POV, and outline the benefits of your proposal. Key points and sub-points, supported by SHARPs, form the body of your presentation. The closing restates your POV, provides a specific action step, and ends with a memorable SHARP.

This structure helps communicators stay focused and deliver messages that are easy to follow.

Examples

• A story about a past client’s success grabs attention in the opening.
• Key points supported by analogies and visuals keep the audience engaged.
• A closing SHARP leaves a lasting impression.

Takeaways

1. Record yourself speaking to identify areas for improvement in tone, pace, and delivery.
2. Use the SHARP method to add emotional triggers like stories and humor to your messages.
3. Practice standing in a "ready position" and smiling to project confidence and warmth.