Embrace the Suck

Pain is inevitable, but how we respond determines if it will defeat us or make us stronger.

1. Pain Is a Catalyst for Growth

Pain is an unavoidable part of life, but it can serve as a stepping stone to growth if embraced with the right perspective. Brent Gleeson, drawing from his Navy SEAL training, argues that avoiding pain limits personal development and holds people back from reaching their potential. Instead of resisting suffering, view it as an opportunity to gain strength and resilience.

This concept is aptly demonstrated in the grueling "Hell Week" of Navy SEAL training, where candidates endure six relentless days of mental and physical challenges, such as surf torture in freezing waters. Those who succeed share a mindset of transforming pain into motivation rather than letting it paralyze them. This principle applies beyond military training and can be used in any context requiring perseverance.

Jason Redman, a retired SEAL who survived being shot multiple times, embodies this mentality. Refusing to see himself as a victim, Redman found purpose in his suffering, approaching his recovery as an act of courage. His story is a testament to the power of reframing adversity as a test that, when embraced, builds strength and character.

Examples

• Navy SEALs enduring "Hell Week" by using pain as motivation.
• Jason Redman's recovery from severe injuries by adopting a victim-free mindset.
• Ordinary people overcoming challenging workouts or difficult exams by focusing on growth, not avoidance.

2. Identify Core Values to Build Resilience

Core values act as a personal compass, guiding decisions and actions even during adversity. To face challenges head-on, it’s vital first to understand what truly matters most to you. When values are clear, they fuel resilience and provide motivation to overcome obstacles.

Start by identifying your key principles—perhaps health, honesty, family, or faith—then turn values into actionable behaviors. For instance, if health is your priority, create habits like regular exercise and balanced eating. By committing to these behaviors every day, you ground yourself in purpose and make it easier to face discomfort with intention.

The importance of embodying values becomes evident in life’s tougher moments. For example, sticking to a health plan while juggling stress at work reflects discipline and alignment with personal values. These deliberate actions solidify a resilient mindset capable of withstanding various difficulties.

Examples

• Writing down a short list of personal values and revisiting them for clarity.
• A commitment to daily action, like maintaining fitness routines or communicating transparently.
• Adaptable leaders who stick to their ethics amidst workplace challenges.

3. Reframe Stress as a Growth Tool

Stress doesn't have to overwhelm or deter you; when approached correctly, it becomes a useful resource for self-improvement. Psychologists Alia and Thomas Crum propose a three-step model—"See it, Own it, Use it"—to transform stress into something positive.

The first step, "See it," involves recognizing stress as a way to stretch your capabilities. The second, "Own it," means acknowledging that your response to stress defines its impact. Finally, "Use it" translates that energy into constructive action, like improving skills or strengthening relationships.

For SEALs like Gleeson, high-pressure missions from broken Humvee tires to unexpected livestock confrontations demonstrate how adaptability under stress creates problem-solvers. In day-to-day life, managing a difficult job interview or a public presentation shows the power of embracing stress as a path to success.

Examples

• Applying the "See it, Own it, Use it" framework when preparing for exams under pressure.
• SEAL missions requiring quick decisions under disaster-like conditions.
• Turning workplace stress into motivation for professional growth.

4. Commit to Progress Every Day

Creating lasting change doesn’t happen through occasional effort – it demands daily, deliberate action. Gleeson emphasizes the power of doing something that challenges you every day, even if it feels uncomfortable or unpleasant. Incremental steps over time create meaningful progress.

This mindset shift means intentionally stepping outside your comfort zone, whether through physical workouts, difficult conversations, or ambitious career goals. Taking action doesn't always have to be grand; even simple acts of discipline add up to significant results over time.

For example, by gradually committing to an intensive running routine, someone preparing for their first marathon builds endurance mentally and physically. Similarly, tackling small but unpleasant tasks at work ensures steady advancement rather than procrastination-born setbacks.

Examples

• Consistent personal practice, like learning to play an instrument daily.
• A professional adopting new, challenging skills to grow their expertise.
• Scheduling difficult but necessary personal finance habits, like budgeting.

5. Failures Are Lessons, Not Endpoints

Failure isn’t something to fear or avoid. Instead, it should be welcomed as a teacher offering valuable lessons. Gleeson explains how setbacks often reveal blind spots, helping individuals adjust their approach rather than quit prematurely.

Recurring failures, such as the SEAL team’s botched mission involving lost vehicles, are embraced as part of the learning curve. The team reviewed mistakes, adjusted strategies, and continued forward with a better plan. Treating failure as temporary fosters resilience and reduces feelings of helplessness.

On a personal level, failure might look like a diet setback or falling short on professional goals. Still, analyzing what caused missteps and refining actions ensures eventual success. Allow yourself to fail, reflect, and try again without judgment.

Examples

• A botched SEAL mission recovered through post-operation analysis.
• Using job interview rejections to improve professional skills.
• Treating fitness relapses as a chance to refine strategies.

6. Accountability Drives Your Success

Personal growth demands responsibility for your actions and choices. Gleeson stresses using external tools like calendars or apps to reinforce accountability. These tools keep you focused on specific goals while minimizing distractions.

For instance, placing written reminders of core behaviors, like daily push-up counts, keeps goals visible and non-negotiable. By integrating self-monitoring into daily routines, you improve consistency and long-term results.

Accountability evolves from internal commitment but is strengthened through structure. Shared goals—like group fitness challenges—can further motivate, confirming that accountability breeds mutual success.

Examples

• A fitness coach tracking clients’ health goals.
• Group challenges for achieving weight loss or similar goals.
• Apps that monitor daily productivity.

7. Build Mental Toughness Through Discipline

Mental toughness isn’t a trait you're born with; it’s built through discipline. SEALs thrive by following their "slow is smooth, and smooth is fast" mantra. This approach ensures focus, care, and precision in high-pressure situations.

Practicing self-discipline requires avoiding temptation and setting yourself up for success. Simple steps like muting notifications or removing distractions create the environment needed to stick to your ambitions. Gleeson encourages learning to assess setbacks without emotion, then recalibrating to stay aligned with long-term goals.

Whether it’s studying for exams, improving fitness, or chasing creative dreams, self-discipline ensures that no challenge feels insurmountable with enough preparation and practice.

Examples

• Training SEAL recruits to move deliberately, even under pressure.
• Writers avoiding procrastination using strict daily rituals.
• Entrepreneurs improving productivity with focused routines.

8. Prioritize What Gives Life Meaning

A fulfilling life comes down to pursuing what truly matters. Aligning purpose with daily action prevents time-wasting distractions. Gleeson’s focus on planning life backward—envisioning the legacy you want—brings clarity to today’s priorities.

Living with intention prevents regrets, whether through building robust relationships, advancing careers, or achieving health benchmarks. Over time, eliminating shallow goals ensures alignment with what matters most.

Create meaning by reviewing choices regularly. Every choice, whether small or significant, should align toward a life worth remembering—one guided by quality, not distractions.

Examples

• Aligning family time around shared meals or trips.
• Architects leaving impactful community designs behind.
• Philanthropists focusing resources on initiatives that inspire them.

9. Embrace Life’s Journey—Pain Included

Life isn’t perfect, and that’s its beauty. Gleeson encourages readers to embrace struggle as an equal part of their story. Whether navigating challenges like financial instability, relationships, or illness, hardships offer perspective and wisdom.

By leaning into what’s uncomfortable instead of retreating, people gain clarity about what matters. SEAL training itself reflects this idea: Victory isn’t always neat, but it tests endurance and strategy.

Acknowledging flaws, losses, and barriers makes triumph sweeter. Accept life’s imperfections to live authentically while understanding pain is where growth thrives.

Examples

• Navigating and overcoming illness with support networks.
• Accepting financial delays before business success.
• Rebounding from relationship failures with self-reflection.

Takeaways

1. Dedicate daily time to activities that expand your comfort zone; consistency leads to transformation.
2. Use tools like calendars or apps to stay accountable, tracking goals and progress effectively.
3. Reframe stress or adversity as an opportunity for growth using the "See it, Own it, Use it" model.