Finding Meaning in an Imperfect World

“When we ask about the meaning of life, we’re really asking about value.” This book takes the mystery out of life’s greatest question.

1. Meaning Is Found in Value

The question of life's meaning is essentially about value. When people express feelings of meaninglessness, what they often mean is that their lives lack aspects they consider worthwhile. This perspective shifts the abstract into the tangible by anchoring meaning in personal definitions of value. Tolstoy’s existential crisis exemplifies this – despite enormous literary accomplishments, his sense of fulfillment dwindled when he no longer saw his work as valuable.

Everyone’s sense of value varies. For one person, raising a family might feel worthwhile, while someone else might find meaning in advancing scientific discovery. It all boils down to what each individual sees as rewarding and necessary. Without personal affirmation of value, even large achievements can seem hollow or irrelevant.

By reframing the idea of “meaning” into something deeply connected to individual values, it’s possible to explain why what inspires one person may fail to motivate another. This helps unpack the varied goals that human beings pursue, even ones as peculiar as collecting tea towels. If the collector truly values the activity, it brings meaning to their life.

Examples

• Tolstoy’s despair over losing value in his literary achievements.
• Raising children as a fulfilling purpose for parents.
• A neighbor’s passion for collecting tea towels that gives them joy.

2. Perfectionism Doesn’t Define Meaning

Many assume that meaning requires perfection or extraordinary deeds, but this mindset leads to frustration and dissatisfaction. Perfectionist thinking suggests that only world-changing contributions – like discovering a revolutionary theory or dedicating your life to charity – make life meaningful. Under this standard, only a select few can live “meaningful” lives, which is an unfounded belief.

Life is full of imperfect realities, and meaning can be found in more modest ambitions. Pursuing excellence doesn’t demand perfection. Life’s meaning can stem from small, purposeful actions that fulfill personal values. While flawed, these endeavors can still be immensely rewarding.

The contradiction of perfectionist thinking is evident in everyday life, where people don’t demand flawless results in other areas, like eating out or shopping. Settling for what provides satisfaction means life’s purpose can exist within achievable, current realities rather than idealized notions of perfection.

Examples

• Everyday accomplishments, like learning a skill or completing a hobby project.
• Enjoying a night at a local diner rather than an expensive restaurant.
• Imperfect career choices still providing personal growth and satisfaction.

3. Life’s Value Doesn’t Depend on Its Length

The inevitability of death often leads to the conclusion that life lacks lasting value. This belief holds that things with finite endings can’t be truly meaningful. Yet, this perspective overlooks the ability to derive genuine satisfaction from temporary experiences or accomplishments.

Think about temporary pleasures. A clean kitchen floor doesn’t last, but the cleanliness still holds value. Similarly, many inherently fleeting things – such as seasons, celebrations, or flowering plants – are deeply cherished. The impermanence of life has no bearing on its meaningfulness.

Albert Camus’s concept of finding peace in Sisyphus’s eternal struggle demonstrates how embracing the present allows individuals to detach meaning from permanence. Life gains meaning through our appreciation and recognition of everyday joys, even as they dissolve over time.

Examples

• Admiring a blooming tree, even though it will eventually wilt.
• Sisyphus finding meaning in his repetitive task despite its futility.
• Celebrating birthdays or festivals knowing they occur only once a year.

4. Meaning Is Possible Without Free Will

Debates around free will argue over the degree to which individual choices are truly autonomous. If determinism holds true, then every decision is based on prior causes and conditions out of one’s control. Does this negate the possibility of meaningful experiences?

Not at all. Determinism doesn’t strip accomplishments of their value or diminish admiration for them. A star athlete, for example, may owe their talent to genetic factors and upbringing, yet their achievements remain impressive and inspiring. Meaning stems from outcomes and contributions, not from the presence or absence of free will behind the actions.

Philosophers suggest that even in a deterministic world, people can find joy in their activities and outcomes. By focusing on what has been accomplished or enjoyed, rather than the source of choice, meaning in life can thrive regardless of free will.

Examples

• Mozart’s innate talent producing valuable music.
• Athletes whose success draws from a combination of opportunity and determination.
• A book’s beauty being recognized without evaluating whether its author “chose” to write.

5. Meaning Requires No Larger Objective

Life does not need to serve an overarching purpose to be meaningful. The “why game,” often played by curious children asking endlessly what gives something value, shows that ultimately some things are valued simply for their own sake.

Intrinsic value, as opposed to extrinsic value, means things can hold meaning inherently rather than as a means to another end. Enjoyment, for instance, doesn’t require justification – its existence alone brings happiness. Similarly, life doesn't need a grand, external justification to hold meaning. Its worth can emerge in simply being lived.

Reframing life as an end in itself eliminates the need for external objectives or future benchmarks. It positions everyday living and experiences as valuable and satisfying.

Examples

• Loving and eating candy for the simple pleasure it brings.
• Valuing friendships without any transactional benefit.
• Embracing sunny days or beautiful songs for their present joys.

6. Losing Meaning Doesn't Erase It

Post-goal emptiness, termed the paradox of the end, isn’t proof of life’s meaninglessness. After completing a significant objective, the loss of its immediate purpose isn’t a permanent condition – we have other goals, ongoing pursuits, and achievements to consider.

Ongoing goals like becoming a better parent or excelling in one’s hobbies provide continual opportunities to find purpose long-term. Some parts of life build cumulative meaning, giving value well beyond the first moment of accomplishment.

Rather than mourning the meaning lost after achieving a goal, individuals benefit from embracing the ways goals provide long-term fulfillment. Acknowledge the worth of your efforts and view future endeavors optimistically.

Examples

• A teacher finding lasting satisfaction in helping students evolve each year.
• A marathon runner transitioning from discomfort to joy after crossing the finish line.
• Embracing long-term personal growth, such as relationships or education.

7. Meaning Coexists with Suffering

Suffering is an undeniable part of life, but it doesn’t negate life’s value. Experiences of pain are independent of the potential for meaningfulness. In fact, they can enhance it by enabling resilience, fostering empathy, or deepening purpose.

Holocaust survivor Viktor Frankl highlighted how people maintain a sense of meaning even in the bleakest circumstances. Despite torturous conditions, many found meaning in simple kindnesses or hope for a better future.

Acknowledging suffering acknowledges life’s completeness. Rather than invalidating meaning, adversity often brings clarity to what matters most, showing the depths of human capacity for finding purpose even in hardship.

Examples

• Holocaust survivors supporting one another.
• Schopenhauer’s view counterbalanced by real-world examples of joy.
• People recovering from illness redirecting their purpose into helping others heal.

8. Meaning Can Be Found through Reflection

Life may not always seem full of meaning, but taking deliberate steps helps uncover it. Reflecting upon one’s values and their alignment with actions and priorities opens doors to a more meaningful existence.

Simple exercises such as creating lists of what already matters, considering future regrets, or observing admired traits in others boost insight. Awareness of tendencies like perfectionism or ideal romanticizing further aids in refocusing on meaningful pursuits.

With clear intentions and small adjustments, anyone can reshape their life to match its underlying value system. Reflection brings life into clearer focus, allowing meaning where might have once been uncertainty.

Examples

• Writing down meaningful daily experiences.
• Imagining life from a near-death perspective to identify what matters most.
• Noticing meaningful activities in friends’ lives to inspire personal choices.

9. Small Habits Build Meaning

A meaningful life often consists of appreciating small, ordinary joys. By developing habits like mindfulness or gratitude, individuals can strengthen their perception of life’s value.

Approaching common scenarios with curiosity or gratitude builds perspective. This newfound awareness reveals previously overlooked elements of meaning within day-to-day moments.

Starting small makes appreciating meaning accessible and authentic. It empowers individuals to notice and hold on to life’s liveliness, regardless of grandeur or struggle.

Examples

• Starting gratitude journals to record moments of appreciation.
• Reflecting on ordinary tasks like cooking or walking a pet.
• Enjoying spontaneous laughter or quiet moments with loved ones.

Takeaways

1. Reflect regularly to understand your values and prioritize life decisions accordingly.
2. Cultivate habits like gratitude and mindfulness to better notice hidden meaning in daily experiences.
3. Avoid perfectionist ideas and connect meaning to achievable, present realities.