To convince others, they must see you as their equal first.

1. Be Perceived as an Equal

People listen when they feel like they're engaging with a peer rather than someone inferior or superior. In modern sales, where buyers often pre-research products and services, it's essential to gain the buyer's trust by aligning your perceived social status with theirs. This perceived equality builds the foundation for a productive conversation.

You can convey equality through external cues such as language, tone, and presentation. For example, in a professional setting, speaking the same "jargon" as your client communicates that you understand their world. This technique not only makes you appear knowledgeable but also builds immediate rapport.

Achieving this status alignment takes effort but pays off. For instance, referencing past experiences with similar industries, showcasing your preparation, or discussing relevant details about your client’s situation can go a long way in establishing this equal footing.

Examples

  • A doctor recognizing another doctor as a peer because of technical language.
  • A real estate agent sharing details of a similar relocation success story.
  • Using industry jargon effectively during a business pitch.

2. Build Instant Credibility

When a buyer hesitates, they’re often unsure if you can deliver. People tend to doubt a salesperson's promises unless they’re reassured through evidence of competence and expertise.

A technique called the "flash roll" helps establish expertise instantly. This is a quick burst of detailed, technical information that only an expert would know. Delivered in a calm, authoritative manner, it reassures the buyer that you thoroughly understand the subject.

For example, imagine a computer technician discussing a common yet complex virus issue with a client. By confidently explaining the symptoms, effects, and step-by-step solution in great detail, the technician earns the client’s trust without needing lengthy persuasion.

Examples

  • A tech support expert analyzing software issues effortlessly.
  • A car mechanic describing engine diagnostics with clarity and confidence.
  • A financial consultant breaking down investment portfolios in seconds.

3. Tap into Pre-Wired Ideas

People are more likely to accept information that taps into existing emotional reactions like fear, reward, or fairness than something completely detached from their concerns. New information is filtered through these "pre-wired" concepts to determine relevance.

By answering three key buyer questions — "Why should I care?," "What’s in it for me?," and "Why you?" — you can appeal to these natural instincts. For example, fear of being left behind in a changing world effectively highlights "Why should I care?". Offering a significant benefit, like doubling productivity, answers "What’s in it for me?". Lastly, showing your investment in the relationship answers "Why you?"

Examples

  • Stressing industry changes to appeal to a client’s fear of lagging behind competitors.
  • Promising doubled efficiency with a product upgrade.
  • Sharing your personal stake in a partnership.

4. Familiarity Wins Over Novelty

Buyers typically seek comfort in the familiar when making decisions. A groundbreaking idea often feels risky. By presenting your product or service as something familiar, you reduce buyer hesitation.

Describe your offering in relatable terms rather than exaggerating its uniqueness. You can introduce its new aspects later as part of an evolving norm. For example, when pitching a mini-golf-themed bar, first emphasize traditional factors like a great menu, good location, and an appealing atmosphere before unveiling the golf feature.

Examples

  • Describing new features as extensions of existing popular products.
  • Positioning a unique service as a natural evolution of the current industry.
  • Highlighting shared similarities with competitors before showcasing differences.

5. Harness Buyer Skepticism

Forcing optimism onto a wary buyer rarely works. Instead, embrace and guide their natural skepticism to develop trust. This approach involves discussing possible drawbacks of your product or service openly.

By preemptively addressing buyer concerns, you provide a balanced view and demonstrate expertise. For instance, a bicycle salesperson may acknowledge the limitations of ultra-light materials for casual riders, showing that they’re not just pushing sales but genuinely focused on what suits the customer.

Examples

  • A bike seller identifying problematic features of high-end components.
  • A financial advisor highlighting potential investment risks upfront.
  • A travel agent detailing unfavorable weather conditions in certain months.

6. Shape the Buyer’s Focus

Guiding a buyer's attention can influence their decision-making. A salesperson should meticulously frame their pitch by identifying the main factors that matter to the buyer and minimizing distractions.

For instance, in a wide-ranging discussion, suggesting, "These three decisions are the most important," not only brings clarity but also subtly directs the buyer toward outcomes that favor your proposal. Steering their thoughts without pressure gives them a sense of control while allowing you to influence the process.

Examples

  • A real estate agent simplifying a buyer’s focus to neighborhood, size, and price.
  • A gym membership consultant narrowing priorities down to location, amenities, and cost.
  • A phone salesperson pointing attention to camera quality, durability, and price.

7. Authenticity Trumps Persona Switching

Buyers dislike interactions where salespeople constantly shift personas — overly friendly, overly persistent, or dramatically defensive. Remaining sincere and consistent throughout protects your integrity.

When a salesperson believes in their product and trusts their approach, it comes across naturally. Buyers appreciate authenticity. Confidence in selling what you’re passionate about inspires the same trust in the buyer.

Examples

  • A direct and dependable tone during a sales pitch.
  • Avoiding overly rehearsed or exaggerated enthusiasm.
  • Letting passion for your service shine through plain-spoken honesty.

8. Confidence Drives Belief

Confidence isn’t just about body language or speaking style. It rests in your expertise and conviction in what you’re offering. If you falter, buyers sense it and lose trust.

Saying, "I may not always be right, but I’m never in doubt," reflects steadfastness and earns respect. Buyers are drawn to confident figures who exude reliability even in uncertain situations.

Examples

  • Delivering a pitch calmly even during tough objections.
  • Admitting minor mistakes but reaffirming overall expertise.
  • Bringing a composed demeanor to complicated questions.

9. Sales is a Natural Process

Great selling allows buyers to feel as though they arrived at decisions independently. By flipping the psychological script — shifting pressure from persuasion to collaboration — you create easy conversations rather than stressful exchanges.

For example, allowing buyers to explore pros and cons without constant interference makes the experience smoother. By presenting information in an open-ended way, you encourage a more organic decision-making process.

Examples

  • Encouraging buyers to weigh options without aggressive tactics.
  • Presenting facts rather than forcing conclusions.
  • Nurturing decisions without creating urgency or pressure.

Takeaways

  1. Use industry-specific language and examples to signal expertise and build equality with your clients.
  2. Practice creating "flash rolls" for your product — quick, detailed deliveries that project mastery and inspire trust.
  3. Balance showcasing new features with relating them to familiar concepts your clients already understand.

Books like Flip The Script