Getting Naked

"People buy based on trust long before they buy based on value." How can being vulnerable revolutionize your professional relationships?

1. Vulnerability Strengthens Relationships

Fear of vulnerability often holds people back, but openness builds authentic connections. Many shy away from admitting weaknesses, believing it will paint them as inadequate. However, showing vulnerability fosters trust and demonstrates humanity. This is particularly vital in consulting, where clients want genuine partners, not just advisors.

When a consultant openly shares challenges or concerns, clients see them as relatable and trustworthy instead of overly polished and distant. Imagine someone attending a meeting in sweltering heat and attempting to avoid showing discomfort. It's clear to everyone present, and hiding it only creates awkwardness. Admitting you're sweating, however, breaks barriers and normalizes the discomfort for others.

By presenting yourself authentically rather than hiding behind a professional façade, you're more approachable, fostering a team-like atmosphere. Clients then view you as a collaborator rather than a detached outsider, aligning your purpose with their goals.

Examples

• A hot, sweaty meeting becomes a shared experience when vulnerability is acknowledged and addressed openly.
• A consultant shares an unpopular opinion about a client's strategy, gaining respect for their honesty.
• Acknowledging one's nervousness before a presentation helps disarm the audience and show relatability.

2. Put Client Needs First, Always

Focusing too much on your business can alienate clients. Fear of losing a client often leads consultants to prioritize their own bottom line over genuine care for their clients' problems. The irony is that this self-interest undermines trust, the very thing needed to secure lasting partnerships.

Shifting focus to client needs—even before discussing fees—shows commitment and builds rapport. Deliver value through action rather than promises. When clients see your dedication to their success, they won't feel the need to question your rates or micromanage outcomes.

For example, instead of beginning discussions with cost estimates, dive into their challenges and offer real solutions. Express honest opinions on their ideas, both good and bad, while showing empathy and respect. This approach reassures them that their success matters more than any immediate gain on your end.

Examples

• A consultant offers free initial feedback on a project before fee discussions to demonstrate value.
• Acknowledging the risks of launching a new product earns the trust and attention of skeptical clients.
• Speaking honestly but kindly about a client’s flawed business idea shows dedication over servility.

3. "Dumb Questions" Are Valuable

In unfamiliar scenarios, asking "dumb questions" often feels risky, but it leads to better communication and understanding. When faced with jargon-heavy environments—like a consultant working in a specialized field—pretending to understand isn't helpful. Expressing ignorance can actually uncover gaps in the conversation that others might also silently share.

Questions that seem naïve may open room for clarification and generate meaningful dialogue. A consultant in a hospital, for instance, won’t know every medical term, but asking about them can ensure alignment and progress. Even seemingly silly suggestions may spark unexpected solutions.

Ultimately, people remember your valuable contributions, not perceived blunders. Mistakes or oversights are opportunities to lighten the mood, take accountability, and forge bonds through humility.

Examples

• Asking for clarification on medical terms leads to simplified communication for everyone in the room.
• Suggesting collaboration with a cross-industry competitor generates innovative ideas for growth.
• Laughing about a misunderstanding—like forgetting a hospital is non-profit—breaks tension and builds trust.

4. Pride Blocks Progress—Do Dirty Work

Thinking certain tasks are "beneath you" can limit your growth and disconnect you from your client's struggles. True service means being willing to do whatever it takes to support their success, even if it’s minor or unglamorous work. This mindset strengthens bonds and enhances loyalty.

For example, stepping up to handle disruptions during a poorly organized conference demonstrates dedication and helps the client save face. This includes intervening if needed, then later providing constructive feedback to improve processes moving forward.

Removing personal ego from the equation lets the client know you've got their back. Such acts convey reliability and forge a sense of partnership rather than hierarchy.

Examples

• Offering to arrange chairs or serving refreshments during a client’s event shows commitment.
• Taking responsibility for logistical mishaps earns a client’s gratitude and respect.
• Supporting ethical casino operations by recognizing the value of the client’s contributions to local economies.

5. Share Failures Openly

Pretending to be perfect often backfires—sharing mistakes and failures builds credibility. Acknowledge your errors openly, as this makes you relatable and highlights your willingness to grow and adapt. Clients find it refreshing to work with someone who doesn’t shy away from challenges.

When you misstep, such as misunderstanding a client’s needs or missing a deadline, addressing it promptly and constructively matters most. Covering it up would erode trust, but transparent communication earns respect.

Reframing a mistake as part of the learning process not only reduces defensiveness but often leads to collective problem-solving and innovation.

Examples

• Admitting a project timeline miscalculation prompts collaborative adjustments.
• During a heated discussion, acknowledging poor phrasing diffuses tension and keeps things productive.
• Sharing lessons learned from a past business error positions you as adaptable and grounded.

6. Confront Challenges Instead of Avoiding Them

Facing issues head-on, rather than sweeping them under the rug, brings clarity and prevents mounting problems. Whether it’s addressing risky strategic moves or challenging ideas that might derail a project, confronting challenges builds confidence in your leadership.

Ignoring fears of confrontation allows you to validate concerns that others might hesitate to voice. For instance, acknowledging the hesitations around a product launch instead of dismissing them assures everyone their worries are valid and manageable.

By resolving conflicts transparently, you showcase your dedication to results rather than comfort or complacency.

Examples

• Facilitating an open discussion about known risks for a major expansion relieves pressure from employees.
• Navigating conflicting goals between partners in a firm inspires better decision-making.
• Proactively addressing concerns before they snowball reduces fallout later.

7. Humor Builds Bridges

Using humor to diffuse awkward moments or mistakes humanizes your role as a consultant. It disarms tension and fosters camaraderie, showing clients that you can balance seriousness with light-heartedness.

For example, if someone points out an obvious oversight you made, responding with humor—like offering to treat the team to lunch—shifts the dynamic from defensive to collaborative.

Embracing self-deprecating humor adds authenticity, making it easier for clients and teams to relate to you.

Examples

• A joke about sweating through meetings lightens a serious atmosphere at a high-pressure conference.
• Turning a forgot-to-send-email situation into a humorous anecdote diffuses tension.
• Laughing along with others about minor cultural misunderstandings improves relationships.

8. Listening Is More Important Than You Think

Clients value consultants who genuinely listen. Active listening involves not just hearing words but understanding concerns, emotions, and aspirations. This deep involvement promotes meaningful collaboration.

Rather than rushing to offer solutions, take time to ask thoughtful questions and absorb what the client is truly saying. This helps identify pain points they might not even realize themselves.

Listening with intent creates emotional connections and highlights your commitment to their vision.

Examples

• Letting a frustrated client air grievances before responding creates space for understanding.
• Reiterating a client’s goals back to them reinforces mutual alignment and clarity.
• Discovering an overlooked stakeholder’s perspective reshapes project priorities for success.

9. Integrity Over Ambition

Choose transparency over fleeting victories. Shortcuts or acting against your values may offer temporary wins but ruin long-term success. Always stay aligned with what you can truly commit to and remain honest about your abilities.

For example, never accept projects that conflict with your personal values—such as consulting for industries you don't support ethically—because you won't give your best.

Making promises you can't keep risks everything; it's better to say no than to under-deliver.

Examples

• Walking away from a job incompatible with your principles ensures better opportunities later.
• Saying no to clients outside your expertise prevents harm to their organization.
• Turning down micromanaged projects removes unnecessary stress while preserving reputation.

Takeaways

1. Embrace your imperfections by openly admitting mistakes and limitations, as this builds trust.
2. Focus on understanding and solving your client’s real concerns before discussing payments or contracts.
3. Take on all tasks, big or small, as service fosters loyalty and respect in client relationships.