Good Judgment

Do you really know the people you work with, or are you just making assumptions based on fleeting impressions?

1. Reading People is a Foundational Skill

Understanding people forms the bedrock of successful communication and decision-making in both personal and professional life. Every major decision you make often hinges on your judgment of others, such as selecting a life partner, hiring employees, or assembling a team.

Your ability to gauge what people think, value, and prioritize, called perceptivity, plays a central role in daily interactions. It helps in navigating challenging scenarios like workplace politics or conflict resolution. Strengthening this skill improves relationships across the board, leading to a more rewarding life.

Think of perceptivity like a muscle. It grows stronger with use and practice. It’s about observing not just what people say, but how they behave, bridging the gap between their words and actions. It also means staying aware of biases that hinder accurate judgments and cutting through masks people often wear to hide true intentions.

Examples

• A perceptive leader identifies the one unspoken concern holding back team collaboration.
• A recruiter gauges whether a candidate truly aligns with company values by observing body language during the interview.
• A friend picks up on subtle moods to offer support even before being asked.

2. Digital Age Weakens Personal Connections

Technology has reshaped communication, but it’s also distanced us from vital human skills. Relying heavily on devices and online platforms detracts from face-to-face engagement, which is essential for truly understanding someone.

For instance, noticing nuances in tone, body language, and facial expressions is near impossible over text or virtual meetings. While practical, these methods don’t offer the same depth of interaction. Reclaiming this lost connection involves prioritizing in-person conversations wherever feasible.

Active observation becomes a necessary practice. By looking beyond screens, professionals can build trust, develop empathy, and make better judgments. Creating an open and judgement-free space further fosters authentic dialogue and deeper understanding.

Examples

• Leaders preferring on-site visits during negotiations achieve clearer agreements through richer personal exchanges.
• Teams working in-person build stronger camaraderie as they share real-time reactions rather than typing online.
• An aspiring manager observes how employees interact during team lunches to gauge dynamics.

3. Emotional Intelligence is Overstated

Many workplaces emphasize emotional intelligence (EQ), which focuses on recognizing and managing emotions. However, relying solely on EQ overlooks a more enduring predictor of behavior: core personality traits.

Rather than trying to read transient emotions, assessing someone’s personality offers a clearer picture of how they’ll behave in the long term. Personality traits such as openness or conscientiousness remain constant, holding more value than temporary emotional states in professional settings.

Consider someone who’s outwardly irritated during high pressure but consistently driven and diligent overall. Recognizing stable personality qualities ensures better teamwork and leadership decisions rather than being swayed by temporary emotional outbursts.

Examples

• A project lead selects team members based on traits like reliability instead of momentary enthusiasm.
• Managers look at an employee's pattern of adaptability, over fleeting performance metrics.
• Teachers notice which students show persistence over time instead of focusing judgment on one off day.

4. The Five Pillars of Personality

Human personality can be broken into five dependable categories: intellect, emotionality, sociability, drive, and diligence. Recognizing these traits allows you to map someone's personality effectively, which improves interaction outcomes.

These categories act as “boxes” to sort the personality data you gather. By observing a person’s behavior and asking relevant questions, you can unpack these traits methodically, making interpersonal dealings smoother and more calculated.

Next time you meet a new colleague or client, mentally divide the information you receive. Are they solutions-oriented (intellect)? How do they manage stress (emotionality)? Do they thrive in group environments (sociability)? Such structured thinking simplifies reading people into a practical art.

Examples

• A journalist categorizes a politician's charisma into sociability and persistence into drive during an interview.
• An HR consultant uses the model to recommend workplace roles based on diligence and sociability.
• A business partner analyzes a prospective investor's level of openness during a presentation discussion.

5. Asking Deeper Questions Builds Better Connections

Forging meaningful team and workplace relationships starts with thoughtful questions that penetrate beyond surface-level chats. Four targeted questions can reveal motivations and character effectively.

Questions like “Who was an early influence on you?” and “How do you differ from them?” open conversations about values and self-perception. Similarly, understanding someone’s close friendships and dislikes offers a snapshot of their preferred social dynamics.

Using these strategic questions can shift your office exchanges from transactional to transformational. They allow you to find alignment, prevent misunderstandings, and create an environment where individuals feel understood.

Examples

• Understanding a coworker’s dislike for micro-management helps avoid friction while delegating tasks.
• Discovering a colleague's appreciation for collaboration over solitude tailors team activities accordingly.
• Talking about shared experiences with earlier influences builds common ground on ideas and ethics.

6. Self-Awareness is a Prerequisite

Before you can effectively understand others, knowing your own personality is key. Self-awareness allows you to recognize your biases, strengths, and weaknesses, which influence how you perceive others.

Feedback from trusted peers plays a central role, as they often spot traits you overlook about yourself. Reflection also helps uncover patterns of behavior that progress or block your interactions with others.

Better knowledge of your personality traits means sharper judgment and interpersonal connection.

Examples

• A supervisor, understanding their impulsiveness, takes extra time to deliberate on major decisions.
• An employee better explains their working style after identifying a preference for conscientious tasks.
• A freelancer handles critiques calmly after acknowledging an emotional reaction tendency.

7. Face-to-Face Interactions Inspire Trust

Face-to-face interactions are irreplaceable in building rapport and trust. Observing someone up-close lets you gather subtle cues that text and calls don’t reveal, creating a context for deeper relationships.

These interactions allow for responsive dialogue and adaptability. For example, during negotiations, in-person gestures such as nods convey agreement better than texting "okay."

Through active listening and empathy, leaders and employees alike find connections robust enough to withstand professional stressors.

Examples

• A startup founder builds deeper relationships with investors by requesting coffee chats instead of relying on email updates.
• A department head notices a staff member struggling with a family matter based on tone during a breakroom chat.
• Co-authors crafting a book see progress accelerate after deciding to meet weekly.

8. Observation Beats Assumptions

Quick judgments can be misleading, as first impressions often don’t reflect deeper personality traits. Consistently observing someone over time works better than relying on assumptions.

Watching how people handle diverse scenarios exposes their most authentic behaviors. For example, how someone reacts under stress reveals their emotionality much more than casual office humor does.

Observation sharpens perceptivity, ultimately fostering empathy and improving communication.

Examples

• An employer waits three months before deciding on a probation hire’s diligence.
• A parent reassesses discipline strategies by regularly observing their child’s adaptability.
• A filmmaker spots a crew member unusually proactive during unplanned challenges, marking leadership potential.

9. Perception is a Learned Skill

No one is born great at reading people. The ability to understand and judge personalities improves with deliberate practice and effort, much like any other skill.

Stay curious, ask questions, and constantly assess interactions. Practice means holding fewer preset assumptions and interpreting information with an open mind. Over time, small intentional steps refine this ability immensely.

Examples

• A manager getting coaching develops a sharper grasp of nuanced office politics.
• A student frequently switching study groups to practice listening enriches team project abilities.
• A professional journaling daily thoughts about coworkers builds better perspectives.

Takeaways

1. Commit to regular face-to-face meetings to effectively read nuanced cues and develop authentic relationships.
2. Practice using the five personality categories as a mental framework for understanding people deeply.
3. Reflect on your own personality traits and seek feedback to continuously improve your self-awareness.