In today's fast-paced, technology-driven world, many of us find ourselves struggling to live meaningful and fulfilling lives. We're overwhelmed by choices, disconnected from nature and each other, and unsure how to find purpose in our work and relationships. In his book "How Should We Live?", cultural thinker Roman Krznaric argues that we can find guidance by looking to the past and learning from the wisdom of history.
Krznaric takes readers on a journey through time, exploring how people throughout history have approached fundamental aspects of the human experience - from love and family to work, money, creativity and death. By examining both famous historical figures and ordinary people from different eras and cultures, he uncovers timeless insights that can help us navigate the complexities of modern life.
This book is not about romanticizing the past or suggesting we should live exactly as our ancestors did. Rather, it's about mining history for practical ideas and inspiration that we can adapt for our own lives today. Krznaric shows how looking to the past can expand our perspective, challenge our assumptions, and offer fresh approaches to age-old human dilemmas.
Love and Relationships
The Limitations of the Soul Mate Ideal
One of the first areas Krznaric explores is love and relationships. He argues that our modern notion of finding a single "soul mate" who can fulfill all our emotional needs is both unrealistic and limiting. This idea has its roots in the merging of different historical concepts of love over time:
The ancient Greeks had a much more nuanced view, recognizing six distinct types of love: eros (passionate love), philia (friendship), ludus (playful love), pragma (longstanding love), agape (selfless love), and philautia (self-love). They believed different people could fulfill these different needs.
Medieval Arabic literature popularized the idea of passionate love between two people.
European chivalric culture combined passion with selfless devotion.
16th century Dutch culture made passion central to marriage, which was previously more of a practical alliance.
20th century consumer capitalism added an element of narcissism to our concept of love.
The result is that we now expect one person to be our passionate lover, best friend, co-parent, intellectual equal, and more - an almost impossible standard to meet. Krznaric suggests we might be happier if we broadened our view of love and looked to multiple relationships to fulfill different emotional needs, as the ancient Greeks did.
Rethinking Family Dynamics
When it comes to family life, Krznaric points out that many of our current struggles have historical roots we may not be aware of. For instance:
The word "husband" originally meant a man whose work was based around the home, similar to a "housewife." The strict gendered division of domestic labor is actually a fairly recent development, arising mainly after the Industrial Revolution.
The tendency for family members to not communicate much, especially at mealtimes, has several historical influences:
- Segregated eating, where men and women ate separately
- Religious traditions of eating in silence
- 18th century beliefs that conversation should be intellectual rather than emotional
These factors, combined with modern technology like television, have led to a situation where many families spend little quality time talking to each other.
Understanding these historical influences can help us consciously choose different patterns. We might decide to prioritize family meals without distractions, or to more equally share domestic responsibilities regardless of gender.
Empathy and Understanding Others
Our Natural Capacity for Empathy
Krznaric challenges the popular notion, promoted by philosophers like Thomas Hobbes, that humans are inherently selfish. He points to scientific evidence suggesting that empathy is actually a natural human trait:
- Studies show that children as young as four can imagine perspectives other than their own.
- Empathy may have evolved to help our ancestors form communities and improve survival chances.
- Other social animals like dolphins and elephants also display empathetic behavior.
Rather than being an anomaly, our capacity for empathy is a fundamental part of what makes us human. Krznaric argues we can cultivate this ability to broaden our horizons and create positive change.
Historical Templates for Developing Empathy
The author identifies three historical approaches for fostering empathy:
Experience: Directly experiencing others' lives, like George Orwell dressing as a tramp to understand homeless life.
Conversation: Engaging in genuine dialogue with those different from us, as when former KKK leader C.P. Ellis's conversations with civil rights activist Ann Atwater changed his views.
Social action: Finding ways to help others relate to different experiences, like how Thomas Clarkson raised awareness about slavery by comparing it to the more familiar practice of naval impressment.
By consciously using these methods, we can develop our empathy and gain a deeper understanding of others' perspectives.
Finding Purpose in Work
The Problem of Alienation
Krznaric traces how changes in the nature of work have affected our sense of purpose and satisfaction:
Before the Industrial Revolution, craftspeople typically made entire products themselves, giving them a sense of pride and connection to their work.
The division of labor, while increasing productivity, often left workers feeling disconnected from the final product and the meaning of their efforts.
This alienation from our work is a common modern problem, but Krznaric finds historical examples that can help us reconnect with a sense of purpose.
Four Templates for Meaningful Work
Working toward meaningful goals: Psychotherapist Viktor Frankl observed that concentration camp survivors who had a sense of purpose beyond mere survival were more likely to persevere.
Helping others: Albert Schweitzer found fulfillment by leaving his academic career to work as a doctor in Africa.
Earning respect and recognition: While fair pay is important, companies that treat employees with respect and offer opportunities for growth often have more engaged workers.
Using our full range of skills: During the Renaissance, being a "Renaissance man" or polymath like Leonardo da Vinci was highly valued. Engaging multiple talents can provide various sources of meaning.
These historical examples suggest ways we might reframe our approach to work, focusing more on purpose, service, personal growth, and utilizing our diverse abilities.
Our Relationship with Time
The Tyranny of the Clock
Krznaric explores how our modern obsession with time and productivity has deep historical roots:
Mechanical clocks, first used in 13th century monasteries, gradually came to regulate town life and work schedules.
During the Industrial Revolution, precise timekeeping became a tool for controlling workers and maximizing efficiency.
Our language now reflects a commodified view of time - we "spend," "save," or "waste" it.
This hyper-awareness of time has led to an ever-accelerating pace of life, with speed valued in everything from transportation to food preparation.
Alternative Approaches to Time
To counter this, Krznaric suggests we can learn from historical attitudes toward time:
Think long-term: Viking warriors considered how their actions would be judged by both ancestors and descendants, encouraging careful consideration.
Slow down: Novelist Gustave Flaubert took five years to write Madame Bovary, valuing quality over speed.
Embrace natural rhythms: 19th century French peasants would semi-hibernate during winter, rising only to eat and tend the fire.
While we can't entirely escape modern time pressures, these examples show there are other ways to relate to time that might reduce stress and increase our sense of meaning.
Money and Consumerism
The Rise of Consumer Culture
Krznaric traces how our relationship with money and material goods has evolved:
Before the mid-18th century, "consumer" was a negative term implying wastefulness.
Industrialization allowed more people to accumulate wealth, leading to increased production of consumer goods.
By the late 19th century, shopping had become a leisure activity, with department stores offering experiences beyond mere purchasing.
Advertising has increasingly shaped our desires, making us feel we need the latest products to stay current.
This shift has led many to pursue money relentlessly, often at the cost of other aspects of life.
Alternatives to Consumerism
Krznaric offers historical examples of people who chose different paths:
Henry David Thoreau lived simply in a cabin for two years, growing his own food and working only enough to meet his basic needs. This allowed him to spend most of his time in leisure and contemplation.
Various religious and philosophical traditions have advocated for voluntary simplicity, valuing experiences and relationships over material possessions.
These examples suggest that by consciously examining our relationship with money and possessions, we might find greater contentment with less.
Engaging Our Senses
The Dominance of Vision
Krznaric points out that while we typically think of having five senses, scientists have identified additional ones like our sense of balance and ability to detect temperature. However, in Western culture, vision has become the dominant sense:
The invention of the printing press, the importance of visual displays of wealth, and the centrality of observation to the scientific method all contributed to the primacy of sight.
Common sayings like "seeing is believing" reflect this bias.
This focus on the visual has potentially limited our overall sensory experience of the world.
Broadening Our Sensory Awareness
Krznaric suggests we can enrich our lives by consciously engaging our other senses:
He tells the story of Kaspar Hauser, a 19th century man who grew up in isolation and initially had heightened non-visual senses. This suggests our sensory preferences are learned and can be developed.
We might focus more on the scents and textures of our food, or the sounds and smells of our neighborhoods.
Some cultures have traditionally placed more emphasis on non-visual senses, like the importance of oral storytelling in preliterate societies.
By broadening our sensory engagement, we may experience a richer, more vibrant life.
Reimagining Travel
The Commercialization of Travel
Krznaric describes how modern tourism evolved:
In the 19th century, Thomas Cook began organizing trips with the goal of broadening people's worldviews.
However, the industry eventually focused more on catering to wealthy clients and leisure pursuits.
Standardized guidebooks like Baedeker's created a checklist approach to travel, potentially limiting authentic experiences.
Four Historical Travel Personas
To reclaim travel as a transformative experience, Krznaric suggests we can learn from these historical traveler types:
The Pilgrim: Traveling toward a meaningful destination, often on foot, can foster profound personal growth. Example: Satish Kumar's walk from India to Washington D.C. to protest nuclear weapons.
The Nomad: Moving from place to place can help us connect with nature and different ways of life. However, we should avoid romanticizing or appropriating others' cultures.
The Explorer: Setting out with an open mind to learn about the world, like William Cobbett traveling Victorian England to understand industrialization's effects.
The Reimagined Tourist: Instead of following prescribed itineraries, we can discover places and people on our own terms.
By approaching travel with these mindsets, we may have more meaningful and transformative experiences.
Our Connection to Nature
Changing Attitudes Toward Nature
Krznaric explores how our relationship with the natural world has evolved:
In many pre-industrial societies, nature was often feared as mysterious and dangerous.
The Romantic movement reframed nature as beautiful and awe-inspiring, a testament to divine creation.
Industrialization led to viewing nature primarily as a resource to be exploited for human benefit.
Modern life has largely separated us from direct contact with nature, though we still feel drawn to it (a phenomenon called biophilia).
Reconnecting with the Natural World
Krznaric argues that our separation from nature has negative consequences for both our well-being and the environment. He suggests ways we might rebuild this connection:
Spend more time in natural settings, even if it's just local parks or forests.
Bring elements of nature into our daily lives through plants, natural materials, etc.
Consider how our choices impact the environment and make more ecologically sensitive decisions.
Recognize that we are part of nature, not separate from or superior to it.
By fostering a closer relationship with the natural world, we may improve both our personal well-being and our stewardship of the planet.
Examining Our Beliefs
The Inheritance of Beliefs
Krznaric points out that many of our core beliefs are inherited rather than consciously chosen:
Studies show the majority of people retain the religious affiliation they were raised with.
Nationalist sentiments often stem from the accident of where we were born rather than objective superiority.
Many of our assumptions about how society should function come from our cultural background.
Because these inherited beliefs shape our worldview and actions, it's important to examine them critically.
Challenging and Changing Beliefs
Krznaric offers historical examples of people who questioned their inherited beliefs and made significant life changes as a result:
Leo Tolstoy, born into the Russian aristocracy, came to reject the lifestyle of his class after experiences in war and witnessing an execution. He chose to live and work alongside the laborers on his estate.
Various social reformers throughout history have challenged prevailing beliefs about race, gender, and class to push for greater equality.
These examples show that by scrutinizing our beliefs and being open to change, we can align our lives more closely with our true values.
Embracing Creativity
Misconceptions About Creativity
Krznaric argues that our modern view of creativity as a rare, innate talent is misguided and limiting:
In medieval Europe, only God was thought capable of true creation. Humans were seen as skilled imitators at best.
The Renaissance idea of artistic genius, exemplified by figures like Michelangelo, led to the belief that creativity is a special gift possessed by few.
This has resulted in many people believing they are not creative and cannot learn to be so.
Rediscovering Universal Creativity
Krznaric suggests we can reclaim creativity as a universal human capacity:
He points to evolutionary evidence, like experiments showing chimpanzees deriving pleasure from creative problem-solving.
He highlights the Arts and Crafts movement led by William Morris, which sought to revive handicrafts and the satisfaction of creating with one's hands.
The modern DIY movement reflects a similar desire to engage in hands-on creativity.
By recognizing creativity as a learnable skill and finding ways to incorporate it into our lives - whether through art, craft, problem-solving, or other means - we can tap into a powerful source of fulfillment and self-expression.
Confronting Death
The Modern Taboo Around Death
Krznaric observes that death has become increasingly hidden and taboo in modern Western society:
In the past, death was a more visible part of daily life. Medieval cemeteries were often social spaces, and dying at home surrounded by family was common.
Today, most people die in hospitals, often separated from younger family members.
Funerals have become more modest and less participatory for the broader community.
Cremation has increased dramatically, further removing physical reminders of death.
This distancing from death, Krznaric argues, can actually distance us from fully appreciating life.
Redefining Our Relationship with Death
To counter this trend, Krznaric suggests we might:
Be more open to discussing death and our feelings about it.
Consider how we want to approach our own end-of-life care and communicate this to loved ones.
Participate more fully in mourning rituals and supporting those who are grieving.
Use awareness of our mortality as motivation to live more fully and purposefully.
By confronting death more directly, we may paradoxically enrich our experience of life.
Conclusion: Drawing from the Past to Enrich the Present
Throughout "How Should We Live?", Roman Krznaric demonstrates that while our modern world presents unique challenges, we can find valuable guidance by looking to the past. By examining how people throughout history have approached fundamental aspects of the human experience, we can gain fresh perspectives on our own lives and choices.
Some key takeaways from this historical exploration include:
Broadening our concept of love beyond the "soul mate" ideal to encompass different types of relationships that fulfill various emotional needs.
Recognizing the historical factors that have shaped modern family dynamics and consciously choosing more connected ways of relating.
Cultivating our natural capacity for empathy through direct experience, meaningful conversation, and social action.
Finding purpose in our work by focusing on meaningful goals, helping others, earning genuine respect, and utilizing our full range of skills.
Questioning our relationship with time and considering alternative approaches that allow for more depth and reflection.
Examining our attitudes toward money and consumption, and exploring the potential benefits of voluntary simplicity.
Engaging more fully with all our senses to experience a richer, more vibrant life.
Approaching travel as an opportunity for personal growth and genuine cultural exchange rather than just leisure or checking off destinations.
Reconnecting with the natural world and recognizing our place within it.
Critically examining our inherited beliefs and being open to changing them when they no longer serve us.
Embracing creativity as a universal human capacity that can be cultivated and expressed in myriad ways.
Confronting death more openly to deepen our appreciation for life and motivate us to live more purposefully.
Krznaric's approach is not about romanticizing the past or suggesting we should live exactly as our ancestors did. Rather, it's about mining history for practical ideas and inspiration that we can adapt for our own lives today. By expanding our perspective beyond the narrow confines of our current moment, we open ourselves to a wealth of wisdom accumulated over millennia of human experience.
The author encourages readers to be willing to question prevailing social norms and conventions. Many of the historical examples he provides involve individuals who went against the grain of their societies to live in alignment with their values or to push for positive change. This willingness to "swim against the social tide" may be necessary if we want to break free from limiting patterns and create more fulfilling lives.
Ultimately, "How Should We Live?" is a call to thoughtful reflection and intentional choice. By understanding the historical context of our current ways of living, we can more clearly see which aspects truly serve us and which might benefit from reimagining. The book empowers readers to draw upon the vast resources of human history as they craft their own unique "art of living" suited to the complexities of the modern world.
As the German writer Johann Wolfgang von Goethe said, "He who cannot draw on three thousand years of history is living from hand to mouth." Krznaric's work invites us to feast on the rich banquet of human experience, nourishing our present lives with the accumulated wisdom of the past.