How Should We Live?

“How should we live if life itself has no manual?” Roman Krznaric offers timeless lessons from the past to help us rediscover what it means to live richly and authentically today.

1. Love Isn’t Monolithic: Redefine Your Expectations

Modern relationships often flounder because we demand one person fulfill all our emotional needs. But should one partner bear such responsibility? Ancient Greeks thought differently, breaking love into six types that met various human wants.

Eros provided fiery passion, Philia offered camaraderie, and Ludus brought playfulness. Meanwhile, Pragma grew with time and experience, Agape showed selflessness toward others, and Philautia addressed self-love. Each type supported a distinct emotional aspect.

Across history, these six elements merged, creating our singular ideal of romantic love. Courtly love wove passion and charity together in the Middle Ages. Later, capitalism added narcissism, urging us to use love for status or consumerism. By redistributing our emotional investments across diverse relationships, as the Greeks did, we might seek fulfillment more holistically.

Examples

• Ancient Greeks developed six ways of expressing love beyond eros or passion.
• Medieval knights practiced courtly love, merging charity and devotion.
• Capitalism introduced ideas of self-centered love tied to materialism.

2. The Family Dynamic Has Shifted Over Time

Despite its modern form, the family unit wasn’t always so isolated and hierarchical. The original definition of “husband” signified being “house-bound,” sharing home tasks alongside a wife. Over centuries, cultural norms and external pressures reshaped gender roles.

Before industrialization, men and women equally contributed to home and farming work. Segregation at dinner tables, silent meals inspired by religious practices, and technology-driven distractions later distanced family members emotionally.

History reminds us that successful households once shared duties and fostered dialogue. The past can teach us to challenge modern gender divides and rekindle genuine communication within families.

Examples

• Before industries arose, men participated equally in domestic tasks.
• Nineteenth-century French customs separated family dining by gender.
• Modern couples watch television instead of talking for over 55 minutes daily.

3. Empathy: A Shared Human Trait

Far from selfish creatures, humans are wired for empathy. Historical observers like Jean Piaget highlighted that children as young as four could adopt others’ perspectives. Empathy wasn’t just moral—it was evolutionary, strengthening community ties.

Empathy broadens personal perspectives and inspires societal change. George Orwell lived as a tramp to experience injustice firsthand. Former Klan leader C.P. Ellis redefined his worldview through regular discussions with an African-American woman. Similarly, Thomas Clarkson lobbied against slavery by comparing it to relatable injustices, mobilizing change.

Looking at both history and our intrinsic wiring, empathy not only connects but inspires transformative action.

Examples

• Psychologist Jean Piaget’s work showed empathetic development in children.
• George Orwell sought out life as a vagrant to challenge societal views.
• Abolitionist Thomas Clarkson used collective empathy to fight slavery.

4. Purpose in Work Can Outweigh Profits

The Industrial Revolution’s division of labor gave rise to abundance but stripped personal satisfaction. Before assembly lines, craftsmanship meant participating from start to finish in creations, fostering pride and purpose.

Purposeful work aligns with meaningful goals, like Viktor Frankl’s resilience in concentration camps by focusing on writing his books. Helping others, as Albert Schweitzer’s medical career showed, or being respected by your employer, drives further satisfaction. Even Renaissance ideals held generalists like Da Vinci in high esteem, balancing diverse skills for deeper fulfillment.

Finding purpose in work may mean reclaiming these values: contributions, respect, and meaningful variety.

Examples

• Viktor Frankl survived Nazi camps by focusing on his ultimate goals.
• Albert Schweitzer traded fame for the purposeful act of healing.
• Renaissance thinkers admired generalists who followed varied paths.

5. The Clock Rules Modern Life Too Rigidly

Time has transitioned from agriculture’s helpful tool into an enforcer dictating life’s rhythm ever since mechanical clocks appeared in medieval Europe. The Industrial Revolution chained workers to strict timetables, and today’s efficiency-obsessed culture mirrors that control.

Historically, slow living had its charm. Gustave Flaubert took years to craft Madame Bovary. French peasants hibernated in winters, departing from productivity entirely. Likewise, Norse warriors planned for generations rather than short gains, unlike today’s always-on-a-deadline mindset.

By loosening our grip on the clock, we can reclaim intentional and thoughtful living, savoring moments rather than rushing through them.

Examples

• In 1370, Cologne’s public clock started structuring citizens’ workdays.
• Gustave Flaubert’s five-year novel stood as deliberate counter-effort.
• Norse planning spanned generations rather than chasing short-term gain.

6. Consumerism Distorts the Meaning of Wealth

Consumerism is a relatively modern concept. Thoreau, disillusioned by material pursuits, proved simpler living brought richer rewards. In his cabin near Concord, he worked minimally yet gained abundant leisure and focus on his true interests.

Industrialization introduced fashionable purchases as identity markers. By the late 1800s, Parisian departments like Bon Marché morphed consumer goods into social currency. Today, advertisers amplify our insecurities, leaving us striving for more.

True wealth lies not in possessions but experiences or self-created satisfaction. Minimalist habits might free us from financial stress and reconnect us with joy.

Examples

• In Concord, Thoreau survived two years off the land without extravagance.
• Department stores like Bon Marché fused lifestyle and consumer goods.
• Advertiser tactics exploit yearning for status behind material purchases.

7. Expand Beyond Five Senses for Fullness

Aristotle’s limit of five senses misses our vast potential. Humans detect balance, temperature, and even weak magnetic fields. Cultural shifts, however, made sight the dominant sense, especially through print and science.

Neglecting other senses narrows experience. In contrast, isolated child Kaspar Hauser displayed acute sensory skills, only to lose them once societal assimilation began. Awareness of non-visual or non-verbal details enriches moments, driving full engagement.

Re-training touch, sound, and scent awareness could pierce the flatness modern city life induces. Why not listen, smell, or feel more intentionally?

Examples

• Plato’s “sense of temperature” became the modern term thermoception.
• The printing press prioritized sight, moving away from earlier hearing-heavy traditions.
• Kaspar Hauser’s unique sensory abilities declined with societal education.

8. Embrace Travel’s Transformations

Thomas Cook began travel as an education tool. It later degenerated into checklists dictated by guidebooks. Today’s tourism is more recreation than discovery.

Returning to travel types—like nomadic wandering or mindful pilgriming—can give journeys deeper meaning. Satish Kumar’s peaceful protest walk united charity and adventure. Victorian writer William Cobbett endured prejudice breakdowns during honest explorations of his country.

By reframing trips as pathways into growth or connection, rather than escapes or vanity, travelers can achieve timeless understanding.

Examples

• Thomas Cook started travel as social and ethical exploration for workers.
• Satish Kumar journeyed internationally on foot spreading anti-nuclear ideas.
• Cobbett’s personal biases upended during exploratory countryside visits.

9. Death Awareness Can Transform How We Live

Western cultures shuffle death out of sight—hospital rooms replaced home passings, cremation replaced physical graves. Medieval traditions like memento mori used iconography with skulls reminding attendees to relish life.

Facing death directly shifts perspectives. Survivor accounts show renewed appreciation even after near-death experiences. The simplicity of “remember you must die” frees priorities from trivial concerns like vanity.

Open discussions about mortality could reconnect society to death’s realness, instigating bolder, happier daily living.

Examples

• Medieval memento mori jewelry kept the inevitability always at hand.
• Childrens’ presence vanished from Western memorial environments.
• Gallbladder patients with greenery views recovered faster physically.

Takeaways

1. Foster connections broadly instead of looking for one “soulmate” to meet every need.
2. Slow down—be it with mindful hobbies, travel, or reconsidering life goals—and trust deliberate change.
3. Speak openly about death both personally and socially, using such acceptance as momentum for living fully.