How to Think Like a Roman Emperor Summary

"What stands in the way becomes the way." Marcus Aurelius’s reflections teach us how to turn obstacles into opportunities by aligning with nature and practicing virtue.

1. Living in Accordance with Nature

Stoicism emphasizes living in harmony with nature. Marcus Aurelius urged that a wise and fulfilling life involves understanding and accepting how the natural world operates. This includes recognizing that we, as humans, are part of a larger system and must align our actions with its flow.

Marcus advocated for embracing the life dealt to us rather than grudgingly wishing for a different existence. He taught that we should accept fate and learn how to live virtuously regardless of circumstances. To him, life’s challenges were not roadblocks but opportunities to strengthen character.

This perspective helps dismantle envy or dissatisfaction with one's lot in life. Recognizing universal interconnectedness encourages a fair treatment of others and keeps a person grounded in reality, focusing on what truly matters.

Examples

• Decisions in family and work should consider what aligns with the greater good rather than selfish outcomes.
• In nature, rivers adapt to obstacles by flowing around them, a metaphor for human acceptance of challenges.
• Viewing health challenges as opportunities to grow in endurance instead of burdens to bear.

2. Understanding the Four Cardinal Virtues

Stoicism teaches the four cardinal virtues—wisdom, morality, courage, and moderation. Aurelius lived by these virtues and saw them as a compass for navigating life’s difficulties and addressing internal conflicts.

Wisdom allows you to assess situations from multiple perspectives. Morality ensures your actions are just and ethical. Courage enables facing fears or adversities, and moderation prevents indulgence or excess. By abiding by these virtues, you can steer toward ethical, purposeful decisions despite distractions.

Developing virtue takes practice and consistency. The Stoics believed that improvement is gradual but steadfast adherence to these principles establishes a life of harmony and authenticity over time.

Examples

• Aurelius practiced courage by persistently addressing his responsibilities even amid political turmoil.
• Moderation was reflected in his simple lifestyle, avoiding excessive pleasures while being an emperor.
• His moral compass led to fair and thoughtful decisions as a governing ruler.

3. Mastering Emotions for Authentic Happiness

Stoicism does not teach suppression of emotions but instead mastering them through mindfulness. Aurelius believed in creating emotional distance, observing feelings as temporary and external.

Through daily mindfulness practices, Marcus learned to identify anger, frustration, or sadness without succumbing to impulsive reactions. Authentic happiness, he asserted, arises from virtuous living rather than fleeting pleasures or the highs and lows of life’s roller coaster.

Visualizing situations from an outsider's perspective helps detach from the immediate emotional pull and facilitates rational decision-making. Stepping off the emotional roller coaster allows for stability and makes joy more enduring.

Examples

• Aurelius wrote about recognizing anger and replacing it with understanding and patience.
• Modern cognitive behavioral therapy evokes Stoic practices, emphasizing the labeling of emotions to lessen their control.
• Negative experiences, such as betrayal, can be reframed as chances for practicing forgiveness.

4. Acceptance of Mortality

Contemplating mortality is a Stoic staple. Marcus often reflected on death not with fear but as a natural phenomenon, encouraging others to view it the same way.

He dismissed the aspiration for immortality, highlighting the futility of ego-driven pursuits. Aurelius found peace in the fact that no human endeavor would be remembered forever, using this awareness to focus on virtuous living rather than legacy.

His balanced perspective on life and death reminds people to cherish the present while understanding that all things are temporary. It fosters humility and gratitude for what we have in the fleeting moments of life.

Examples

• His writings show daily reflections on the transient nature of material success.
• Accepting loss and allowing it to further inspire moral actions in the time left.
• Roman funeral customs, which honored lives without clinging to permanence, align with this philosophy.

5. Stoicism is Not Cold or Emotionless

Contrary to misconceptions, Stoicism isn’t about rejecting joy or emotions. Marcus Aurelius demonstrated humor, humanity, and affection despite his challenges as a leader.

He approached Stoicism not as suppression of feelings but as emotional regulation. His personal correspondence revealed warmth, positivity, and even laughter—a testament to the vitality and joy possible within Stoicism.

This philosophy teaches not apathy but the wisdom of not being enslaved by one’s feelings. Living with cheerfulness, as opposed to despair or indulgence, aligns with Stoic ideals and creates fulfilling interactions.

Examples

• Aurelius often laughed with friends even under political tension.
• His sincerity in personal letters showcased a tender father and husband.
• Modern Stoics find joy in setting emotional boundaries without shutting themselves off.

6. Embracing Physical Pain

Marcus Aurelius suffered chronic pain, yet he isn’t remembered as a man defeated by it. Instead, he employed Stoic techniques to control his reactions and not let his suffering overwhelm him.

He used practices like the “geography of pain,” focusing on keeping discomfort confined to where it existed physically without letting it spill into his broader mindset. Marcus also believed in enduring bearable pain and using it to show resilience.

Stoicism's pragmatic outlook allows a person to experience pain while maintaining perspective. Rather than magnifying suffering, such practices emphasize its temporariness.

Examples

• Meditative breathing to separate the mind from physical discomfort.
• Viewing pain as an element to work with instead of against.
• Using philosophical reflections to endure affliction with optimism.

7. Voluntary Hardship Makes Life’s Joys Sweeter

The Stoics advocated deliberately undergoing small difficulties, like taking cold showers, to appreciate the comforts of life.

Marcus Aurelius practiced voluntary hardship to build resilience and gratitude. By willingly enduring mild discomforts, Stoics prepare themselves for inevitable struggles while cultivating appreciation for luxuries.

This idea teaches people not to take well-being for granted and demonstrates that hardships provide a training ground for character.

Examples

• Taking frugal meals instead of lavish ones as an intentional exercise.
• Using physical exertion, like carrying heavy objects, to build perseverance.
• Experiencing time outside without shelter during rain as a reminder of luxuries.

8. Mentorship and Constructive Feedback

Aurelius valued mentorship, understanding that honest feedback was vital for moral and virtuous growth. Losing access to his human mentors led him to imagine wise figures advising him, exemplifying how seeking counsel doesn’t have to end with mentors’ absence.

Through this feedback, Marcus remained true to the ideals of courage, wisdom, moderation, and justice. Accountability strengthened his commitment to his principles.

Today, finding a trusted advisor or creating an imaginary inner mentor can provide clarity in difficult situations, offering guidance rooted in one’s highest values.

Examples

• Asking others to openly critique leadership qualities or decisions.
• Regularly journaling and evaluating whether actions align with personal values.
• Creating a mental image of a virtuous historical figure when faced with dilemmas.

9. Counter-Rhetoric for Calmer Discussions

Marcus Aurelius was known for his plain, fact-driven communication style. Instead of using flowery, emotion-laden rhetoric, he preferred clarity and logic to defuse potential conflicts.

He believed removing inflammatory language created space for meaningful, productive dialogue. This method avoided unnecessary competition or antagonism and allowed for calmer public discourse.

Clear, straightforward communication aligns with the Stoic ideal of rational thinking. Using this approach today can help resolve misunderstandings and reduce overreactions in conversations.

Examples

• Simplifying complex issues rather than overcomplicating or dramatizing them.
• Avoiding emotionally charged words during political debates.
• Writing or speaking in a manner that prioritizes truth over winning arguments.

Takeaways

1. Practice emotional mindfulness by pausing and observing your emotions before reacting.
2. Engage in voluntary hardship, such as fasting or cold showers, to build resilience and gratitude.
3. Use plain, simple language in discussions to encourage understanding and minimize conflict.