In the professional world, encountering difficult colleagues is an almost universal experience. Whether you work in a bustling corporate office or a small startup, chances are you've crossed paths with at least one challenging coworker. These workplace "jerks" can take many forms, from the boss who constantly breathes down your neck to the colleague who steals credit for your hard work.
In her book "Jerks at Work," social psychologist Tessa West offers a refreshing perspective on this common problem. Instead of simply commiserating about toxic coworkers, West provides research-based strategies for effectively dealing with them. Drawing from her own experiences and extensive research, she equips readers with practical tools to navigate these tricky workplace relationships.
Introduction: The Ubiquity of Workplace Jerks
West begins by acknowledging a universal truth: no workplace is immune to jerks. Even the most prestigious companies and seemingly ideal work environments have their fair share of difficult personalities. This realization sets the stage for the book's main premise – that while we can't always avoid jerks at work, we can learn how to handle them effectively.
The author emphasizes that complaining to friends after work, while cathartic, isn't a long-term solution. Instead, she advocates for a more proactive approach, one that involves understanding the different types of workplace jerks and developing strategies to deal with each of them.
The Kiss Up/Kick Downer
The first type of workplace jerk West introduces is the "Kiss Up/Kick Downer." This person exhibits a Jekyll and Hyde personality, charming those above them in the hierarchy while mistreating peers and subordinates.
Identifying the Kiss Up/Kick Downer
West shares a personal anecdote from her time as a salesperson in a high-end department store. Her colleague, Dave, exemplified the Kiss Up/Kick Downer behavior:
- In front of managers, Dave was the model employee – polite, helpful, and eager to please.
- When managers were absent, Dave's true colors emerged. He would:
- Steal customers from colleagues
- Rearrange and hide items in the storage room to hinder others' sales
This stark contrast in behavior is a hallmark of the Kiss Up/Kick Downer.
Confirming Your Suspicions
If you suspect you're dealing with a Kiss Up/Kick Downer, West suggests the following steps:
- Seek confirmation: Find a well-connected colleague and ask neutral questions about the suspected jerk, such as "Have you heard anything good or bad about [Name]?"
- Gather testimonies: If your suspicions are confirmed, discreetly collect experiences from other colleagues who may have been affected.
Strategies for Dealing with a Kiss Up/Kick Downer
Minimize contact: Analyze when and where you encounter this person and find ways to reduce interactions. This could involve changing your seat at meetings or adjusting your break schedule.
Build a case: Collect concrete examples of the jerk's behavior, focusing on how it impacts you and your colleagues.
Present your case diplomatically: When approaching your manager about the issue, remember that the Kiss Up/Kick Downer likely has a good relationship with them. Start by acknowledging the person's strengths before addressing their problematic behaviors.
Be patient: Resolving the situation may take time, as your manager might need to address the issue behind the scenes.
The Credit Stealer
The next workplace jerk West discusses is the Credit Stealer – someone who takes more credit for ideas and accomplishments than they deserve.
Understanding Credit Stealing
West points out that credit stealing isn't always intentional. Several factors can contribute to this behavior:
- Unclear contributions: In group projects, it's not always evident who contributed what.
- Overestimation bias: People tend to overestimate their own contributions to a project.
- Visibility assumption: We often assume our work is more visible to others than it actually is.
- Similar ideas: In teams of like-minded individuals, people may independently come up with similar ideas, leading to confusion about who originated them.
Addressing Credit Stealing
When dealing with a potential credit stealer, West recommends the following approach:
Avoid accusations: Instead of confronting the person aggressively, initiate a neutral conversation to share perspectives.
Focus on facts: Discuss the specifics of who did what in the project, including "invisible" work that might not be immediately apparent.
Plan for the future: Have a pragmatic conversation about how to distribute credit more fairly in upcoming projects.
Pre-project planning: Before starting a new project, clearly define roles and responsibilities to avoid ambiguity later.
The Bulldozer
Unlike the more subtle jerks discussed earlier, the Bulldozer is a more overt and aggressive presence in the workplace.
Characteristics of the Bulldozer
- Domineering behavior: Bulldozers often interrupt others and dominate conversations in meetings.
- Power plays: They tend to have connections with influential people in the organization.
- Indispensability: Bulldozers often make themselves essential by monopolizing certain skills or roles.
Strategies for Handling Bulldozers
Be proactive: In meetings, voice your opinions early to prevent the Bulldozer from setting the agenda.
Stand your ground: If interrupted, insist on finishing your point. If you're not comfortable doing this alone, enlist colleagues to support each other in such situations.
Redistribute power: Look for ways to reduce the Bulldozer's monopoly on certain skills or roles. For example, ask them to train others in their specialized skills.
The Free Rider
The Free Rider is someone who benefits from the efforts of others without contributing their fair share. This type of jerk can be particularly frustrating for hardworking team members.
Why Free Riders Thrive
West explains that strong teams often unintentionally create environments where free riding can flourish:
- Conscientious team members: Hardworking individuals may unknowingly pick up the slack for free riders.
- Group cohesion: Close-knit teams may be less likely to keep tabs on individual contributions.
- Collective rewards: When teams are rewarded as a whole, it can reduce individual motivation to work hard.
Identifying and Addressing Free Riding
To combat free riding, West suggests the following:
Track individual contributions: Implement a system to monitor each team member's work. This could involve regular check-ins or brief surveys asking about completed tasks and extra work done.
Recognize individual effort: While maintaining a focus on teamwork, also acknowledge and reward individual performance.
Fair work distribution: Once a free rider is identified, develop a plan to divide work more equitably among team members.
The Micromanager
Micromanagers are perhaps the most common workplace jerks, with a significant portion of the workforce having experienced this type of behavior.
The Impact of Micromanagement
West highlights that micromanagement is a major factor in job dissatisfaction and employee turnover. In fact, it's more likely to drive people to quit their jobs than issues with compensation.
Dealing with a Micromanager
When addressing a micromanager, West advises against direct confrontation. Instead, try the following approach:
Focus on the big picture: Request a meeting to discuss how your work fits into the team's broader goals.
Align expectations: Ensure that your understanding of priorities matches your manager's.
Seek compromise: If there's a mismatch in priorities, try to find a middle ground that satisfies both parties.
Be specific: When addressing problematic behaviors, focus on concrete examples rather than general complaints.
Offer positive feedback: Mention aspects of your manager's style that you appreciate, not just those you'd like to change.
The Neglectful Boss
On the opposite end of the spectrum from the micromanager is the neglectful boss – someone who doesn't provide enough guidance or support.
The Neglectful Boss Pattern
West describes a typical cycle of neglectful boss behavior:
- Extended absence: The boss is largely unavailable for long periods.
- Last-minute anxiety: As deadlines approach, the boss becomes anxious about being out of the loop.
- Sudden over-involvement: The boss bombards you with suggestions and changes at the eleventh hour.
- Return to neglect: After the crisis passes, the boss reverts to being absent.
Strategies for Dealing with a Neglectful Boss
Improve communication: Request regular check-ins to keep your boss informed and involved.
Offer assistance: If your boss is overwhelmed, offer to take on some of their tasks to free up their time.
Prioritize effectively: Provide your boss with a clear list of priorities, emphasizing the most critical tasks.
The Gaslighter
The final and most dangerous workplace jerk West discusses is the gaslighter – someone who manipulates others into questioning their own perceptions of reality.
Recognizing Gaslighting Behavior
Gaslighters typically follow a pattern:
- Isolation: They separate you from colleagues, either by making you feel special or by eroding your self-worth.
- Exploitation: Once isolated, they involve you in unethical activities, often without your knowledge.
- Reality distortion: When confronted, they deny wrongdoing and make you doubt your own perceptions.
Protecting Yourself from Gaslighting
Unlike other workplace jerks, gaslighters are not easily reformed. West's advice focuses on self-protection:
- Document everything: Keep a written record of suspicious behaviors or incidents.
- Rebuild connections: Gradually re-establish relationships with colleagues to break out of isolation.
- Seek support: Connect with a respected, well-connected colleague who can advocate on your behalf.
Conclusion: Empowerment Through Understanding
"Jerks at Work" provides readers with a comprehensive toolkit for identifying and addressing toxic workplace behaviors. West's approach emphasizes understanding the underlying motivations and patterns of difficult coworkers, rather than simply reacting to their actions.
By categorizing different types of workplace jerks and offering tailored strategies for each, West empowers readers to take control of their professional relationships. She reminds us that while we can't always choose our colleagues, we can choose how we respond to them.
The book's overarching message is one of proactivity and resilience. Instead of passively enduring difficult coworkers or resorting to unproductive venting, West encourages readers to approach these challenges strategically. By doing so, we can create healthier, more productive work environments and advance our own careers more effectively.
Key Takeaways
Workplace jerks are universal, but they can be managed with the right strategies.
Understanding the specific type of jerk you're dealing with is crucial for developing an effective response.
Many problematic behaviors stem from misunderstandings or systemic issues rather than malicious intent.
Open communication, clear expectations, and fair work distribution can prevent many workplace conflicts.
Document problematic behaviors and seek support from colleagues when dealing with more serious issues.
Sometimes, the solution to a difficult coworker involves changing your own behavior or perspective.
In extreme cases, like gaslighting, protecting yourself and seeking outside help may be necessary.
Proactively addressing workplace conflicts is more effective than complaining or hoping they'll resolve themselves.
Practical Applications
West's book isn't just theoretical; it's filled with practical advice that readers can apply in their own work lives. Here are some ways you might use the insights from "Jerks at Work":
Improving Team Dynamics
If you're a team leader or manager, you can use West's insights to create a more harmonious work environment:
- Implement regular check-ins to ensure everyone's contributions are recognized.
- Establish clear roles and responsibilities at the start of each project.
- Combine team rewards with individual recognition to discourage free riding.
- Foster open communication to address issues before they escalate.
Enhancing Personal Work Relationships
For individual contributors, the book offers strategies to navigate difficult workplace relationships:
- Practice assertiveness in meetings to counter bulldozing behavior.
- Keep a record of your contributions to projects to prevent credit stealing.
- Seek clarity on expectations and priorities with your manager to avoid misunderstandings.
- Build a network of supportive colleagues to counteract isolation tactics.
Career Development
The skills West teaches for dealing with workplace jerks can also be valuable for overall career growth:
- Improve your communication skills by learning to address conflicts diplomatically.
- Develop emotional intelligence to better understand and respond to others' behaviors.
- Learn to advocate for yourself effectively without appearing confrontational.
- Gain experience in problem-solving and conflict resolution, which are valuable leadership skills.
Broader Implications
While "Jerks at Work" focuses on individual strategies for dealing with difficult coworkers, its insights have broader implications for workplace culture and management:
The Importance of Emotional Intelligence
Many of the strategies West suggests rely on a high degree of emotional intelligence – the ability to recognize, understand, and manage our own emotions and those of others. This underscores the growing importance of emotional intelligence in the modern workplace, not just for leaders but for all employees.
The Role of Organizational Culture
The book indirectly highlights how organizational culture can either foster or discourage toxic behaviors. Companies that prioritize open communication, fair recognition, and clear expectations are less likely to harbor workplace jerks. This suggests that addressing these issues isn't just an individual responsibility but also an organizational one.
The Evolution of Work Relationships
As workplaces become more collaborative and team-oriented, the ability to navigate complex interpersonal relationships becomes increasingly crucial. West's book reflects this shift, emphasizing skills that go beyond traditional job competencies to include relationship management and conflict resolution.
The Impact of Remote Work
While not explicitly addressed in the book, many of West's strategies can be adapted for remote work environments. As more companies embrace remote or hybrid models, the nature of workplace jerks and how we deal with them may evolve, presenting new challenges and opportunities.
Critiques and Limitations
While "Jerks at Work" offers valuable insights, it's worth considering some potential limitations:
Cultural differences: The strategies presented may be more applicable in some cultural contexts than others. In some cultures, direct confrontation or assertiveness might be less acceptable.
Power dynamics: Some of the suggested approaches may be more difficult to implement for employees in less powerful positions or in highly hierarchical organizations.
Systemic issues: While the book focuses on individual strategies, some workplace problems may stem from systemic issues that require organizational-level changes.
Oversimplification: Categorizing difficult coworkers into distinct types, while useful, may oversimplify complex human behaviors and motivations.
Legal considerations: In some cases, particularly with severe issues like gaslighting, legal or HR interventions may be necessary, which the book doesn't extensively cover.
Final Thoughts
"Jerks at Work" by Tessa West offers a fresh, practical approach to a universal workplace problem. By breaking down the various types of difficult coworkers and providing targeted strategies for each, West empowers readers to take control of their work relationships.
The book's strength lies in its balance of research-based insights and real-world applicability. West doesn't just describe workplace jerks; she offers concrete steps for dealing with them effectively. This makes the book not just an interesting read, but a valuable tool for professional development.
Perhaps most importantly, "Jerks at Work" shifts the narrative from passive complaining to active problem-solving. It encourages readers to approach workplace conflicts with empathy, strategy, and resilience. In doing so, it not only helps address immediate issues with difficult coworkers but also fosters skills that are valuable for long-term career success.
While the book focuses on individual strategies, it also indirectly highlights the importance of healthy organizational cultures in preventing and addressing toxic behaviors. This dual focus on individual action and systemic factors provides a well-rounded approach to improving workplace relationships.
Ultimately, "Jerks at Work" serves as both a practical guide and a call to action. It reminds us that while we can't control the behavior of others, we have more power than we might think to shape our work environment and relationships. By understanding the dynamics at play and applying targeted strategies, we can not only survive workplace jerks but thrive despite them – and perhaps even help create a workplace with fewer jerks altogether.