Lessons in Stoicism

While we may not have control over external events, we do have control over how we respond to them – and that is where true freedom lies.

1. Your Character Defines Your Happiness

Stoicism emphasizes that happiness and fulfillment arise from a virtuous character rather than external achievements. Greed for wealth or fame offers no lasting satisfaction if your inner self is not well.

According to Epictetus, often regarded as the father of Stoicism, external factors like riches or reputation are neither inherently good nor bad – they depend on how they are used. He introduced the idea of "indifferents," which includes things like possessions and health. While these may impact daily comfort, they do not define a meaningful life.

Rather than pursuing these "indifferents" endlessly, the Stoic approach is to focus on cultivating the cardinal virtues: wisdom, justice, courage, and moderation. These virtues lay the groundwork for leading a genuinely fulfilling life that aligns with your values and promotes well-being.

Examples

• A philanthropist who uses their wealth for the greater good reflects virtue, unlike an unscrupulously wealthy individual whose hoard benefits no one.
• Socrates, whom Stoics admirably referenced, contrasted material wealth with moral richness, emphasizing the soul over possessions.
• A person losing their job but responding with dignity and effort to adapt demonstrates Stoic resilience in action.

2. Separate What You Can Control from What You Cannot

Stoicism teaches that we often invite unnecessary stress by attempting to control uncontrollable events. Instead, peace comes from focusing on what lies within our sphere of influence.

Epictetus identified judgments, impulses, and desires as controllable elements in our lives. Meanwhile, external factors such as others' opinions or unfortunate circumstances remain beyond our influence. Energy should be devoted to managing our internal responses rather than fretting about external variables that defy our control.

A vivid comparison to life as archery demonstrates this principle. While you can aim and shoot precisely, outcomes may still be affected by external conditions, like the wind. Even the best doctor cannot guarantee a positive treatment outcome – they can only act with competence. The key takeaway? Effort matters more than external results.

Examples

• Marcus Aurelius reminded himself to view luxurious items realistically – a lavish meal is simply cooked fish, and so on.
• In a traffic jam, you cannot control the gridlock, but you can choose how to react: patience trumps unnecessary frustration.
• People succeeding despite facing setbacks focus on their abilities instead of lamenting circumstances.

3. Managing Anger Through Reflective Judgment

Stoic philosopher Seneca regarded uncontrolled anger as a "temporary madness." Understanding its effects and preventing emotional outbursts is akin to fortifying one's mental state.

Anger arises when we judge that we've been wronged, but Stoicism teaches that this judgment is under our control. Seneca advised avoiding impulsive reactions, advocating for reason and virtues like justice to guide responses. Taking a step back and testing the validity of our judgments can de-escalate imminent rage.

While physical manifestations like heart racing or sweating may accompany anger, Stoics focus on managing the cognitive judgments that drive these reactions. This proactive approach not only reduces hostility but strengthens relations with others.

Examples

• Instead of responding with rage to unfair workplace criticism, calmly evaluating if it's constructive could lead to improvement.
• A driver's angry yelling during road rage achieves nothing and often escalates negative emotions.
• Seneca emphasized that even in the face of true injustice, seeking justice rather than vengeance better serves the community.

4. Time Is Your Most Precious Resource

Seneca viewed time as life's most valuable, yet most squandered, resource and argued for mindful awareness of its limited supply.

People often drift through their days, procrastinate endlessly, or chase superficial ambitions that fail to bring lasting purpose. Seneca stressed that by guarding our time as vigilantly as material wealth, we can live richer, more engaged lives. Living each day with the awareness it could be the last instills urgency to act meaningfully.

Living well has little to do with luxury or leisure. It is about intentionality, choosing actions aligned with personal growth and virtue. Seneca's framework encourages prioritizing what's truly worthwhile over superficial distractions.

Examples

• A busy executive realizing their time with family carries more worth than achieving social accolades.
• During a health scare, people are often reminded to cherish the present and avoid putting off meaningful activities.
• Letting go of unproductive habits like mindless scrolling frees time for skill-building or relationships.

5. Focus on Virtues, Not Outcomes

Stoics argue that success is not defined by achieving external goals but by how virtuous you remain in your efforts. Actions, not results, align with Stoic values.

This principle is illustrated by the Stoic concept of treating work like an archer firing an arrow. You prepare diligently but recognize that external forces like wind can alter the shot's course. The archer who accepts uncontrollable outcomes remains serene, focusing solely on their aim.

By focusing on virtuous actions and effort, you can weather setbacks while maintaining peace of mind. This approach redirects attention from the pursuit of accolades to the consistent performance of duty.

Examples

• A farmer tending to crops cannot pre-determine a rain-filled season yet remains disciplined and diligent in their preparation.
• Renouncing a ruthless pursuit of wealth for ethical entrepreneurship reflects more than merely career success.
• A teacher who inspires learning in less-than-ideal circumstances illustrates effort over outcomes.

6. Emotions Are Shaped by Judgments

Stoicism teaches that emotions stem from our judgments about events – a belief embedded in how we interpret and respond to what unfolds.

Life-defining feelings like joy, anger, or jealousy hold less sway when balanced with proper mindfulness. Early cognitive reactions to emotional triggers – such as an immediate surge of surprise or anxiety – fall within our ability to reframe and manage through calm reasoning.

This Stoic practice makes it clear that while emotions are natural, extending their power depends on whether we validate judgment errors. When you relinquish blame or reorient expectations about hardships, emotional stability follows.

Examples

• Everyday irritations like slow Wi-Fi aren't inherently upsetting; frustration arises when we expect perfection.
• Grasping a Stoic practice of finding the underlying lesson or neutral truth within difficulties.
• Reflecting calmly when insulted allows you to analyze and defuse anger.

7. We Are All Interconnected

Stoicism cherishes community and encourages individuals to recognize themselves as integral parts of a collective rather than isolated, self-serving entities.

Marcus Aurelius compared humanity to branches of one tree, emphasizing interconnectedness among all people. Duties to family, friends, and society align with Stoic virtue by recognizing the "circles of concern" that begin with self-care but expand outward.

Stoic practice isn't exclusively about turning inward but about improving oneself to be of value to the broader world, fostering empathy, cooperation, and harmonious engagement.

Examples

• A leader driven by ethics, not arrogance, inspires both their immediate team and broader community.
• Volunteering time for global causes like humanitarian relief connects personal efforts globally.
• Stoicism modeled civic-mindedness under Roman societies, notably by Marcus Aurelius.

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Takeaways

1. Start each day by identifying what actions are within your control and focus solely on those.
2. Whenever anger arises, pause and assess whether your judgment is reasonable or skewed.
3. Dedicate daily time to reflect on how you use your time – with death in mind to prioritize what matters most.