Introduction
In today's fast-paced business world, effective communication is crucial for success. One of the most important aspects of communication in the workplace is feedback. Whether you're a manager, team leader, or colleague, knowing how to give and receive feedback can make a significant difference in your professional relationships and overall productivity.
"Let's Talk" by Therese Huston is a comprehensive guide that explores the art of giving feedback in the workplace. This book offers practical advice and strategies for managers and leaders who want to improve their feedback skills and create a more engaged and motivated workforce.
In this summary, we'll dive into the key ideas presented in "Let's Talk" and explore how you can apply them to your own professional life. From understanding different types of feedback to mastering the art of listening, this summary will provide you with valuable insights to enhance your communication skills and create a more positive work environment.
The Three Types of Feedback
One of the most important concepts introduced in "Let's Talk" is the idea that there are three distinct types of feedback: appreciation, coaching, and evaluation. Understanding these different types of feedback is crucial for effective communication in the workplace.
Appreciation
Appreciation is the most straightforward type of feedback. It's all about recognizing and acknowledging good work or positive behavior. When an employee does something well, it's important to let them know that you've noticed and that you value their contribution.
For example, if an employee gives a great presentation, telling them immediately afterward that they did a fantastic job is a form of appreciation. This type of feedback is especially important for building relationships and making employees feel valued.
Appreciation is particularly crucial for new employees or those taking on new tasks. It helps them feel welcome and encourages them to continue their good work. Remember, appreciation should be delivered as soon as possible after the event to have the most impact.
Coaching
Coaching feedback is aimed at helping an employee learn and grow. It's about providing advice and guidance to improve performance or develop new skills. Unlike appreciation, coaching often involves pointing out areas for improvement, but in a constructive and supportive way.
For instance, if an employee gave a good presentation but struggled with answering follow-up questions, coaching feedback might involve discussing strategies for improving their ability to think on their feet or suggesting ways to anticipate potential questions.
Coaching doesn't always have to be in-depth. Sometimes, a quick check-in with a bit of advice can be very effective. The key is to focus on growth and improvement rather than criticism.
Evaluation
Evaluation feedback lets an employee know where they stand in terms of performance or progress. This type of feedback often involves comparing an employee's performance to established standards or goals.
For example, telling an employee that their sales numbers rank third on the team is a form of evaluation feedback. This type of feedback can also involve discussing whether an employee is meeting expectations or is on track for a promotion.
It's crucial to clearly distinguish between coaching and evaluation feedback. Confusion between these two types can lead to misunderstandings and potentially damage the relationship between manager and employee.
The Right Mindset for Giving Feedback
Having the right mindset is crucial when giving feedback. Your approach and attitude can significantly impact how your feedback is received and whether it leads to positive change. Here are three important mindset shifts to consider:
1. Be Flexible, Not Scripted
While it's important to prepare for feedback conversations, avoid falling into the trap of delivering a memorized script. When you're too focused on delivering pre-planned lines, you're less likely to listen actively and respond to the employee's reactions and concerns.
Instead, go into the conversation with key points in mind, but be ready to adapt based on how the discussion unfolds. This flexibility allows for a more natural and productive conversation.
2. Side with the Employee, Not the Problem
When giving feedback, especially about a problem or issue, it's easy to get caught up in the details of the problem itself. However, it's crucial to remember that you're there to support and guide your employee, not to simply point out issues.
Approach the conversation as a team effort to tackle the problem together. This mindset shift helps create a sense of collaboration and shows the employee that you're on their side, working together to find solutions.
3. Believe in the Potential for Change
It's essential to approach feedback conversations with the belief that people can grow and improve. Avoid thinking of an employee's behaviors or traits as fixed or unchangeable.
Instead of making statements like "You are disorganized," focus on describing specific behaviors and their effects. For example, "I've noticed that you often miss deadlines, which impacts the team's overall productivity." This approach leaves room for growth and improvement, rather than labeling the person.
Making Your Good Intentions Known
When giving feedback, especially if it's critical or challenging, it's crucial to make your good intentions clear from the start. Even if you believe your intentions are obvious, explicitly stating them can make a significant difference in how your feedback is received.
Research has shown that people tend to react more positively to difficult news when the messenger clearly expresses good intentions. This principle applies to feedback conversations as well.
Start your feedback session by clearly stating that you're on the employee's side and that your goal is to help them succeed. For example, you might say something like, "I'm having this conversation because I want to see you excel in your role and achieve your career goals."
Additionally, acknowledging your employee's concerns or worries can further establish trust and show that you're considering their perspective. For instance, if you're giving feedback to a younger team member who's concerned about not being taken seriously, you might frame your feedback like this: "I want to help you strengthen your presentations so that everyone on the team will recognize your valuable contributions."
The Art of Listening in Feedback Conversations
While much attention is often given to how to speak or deliver feedback, the skill of listening is equally, if not more, important in these conversations. Effective listening is crucial for building trust, understanding the employee's perspective, and ensuring that your feedback is well-received.
Relational vs. Critical Listening
As a manager, you're likely skilled at critical listening – the ability to detect inconsistencies or problems in what you're hearing. However, in feedback conversations, a different type of listening is needed: relational listening.
Relational listening is about empathy and understanding. It's listening to see the other person's point of view, rather than judging or evaluating what they're saying. This type of listening helps create a safe and supportive environment where the employee feels heard and valued.
Validating Feelings
An important aspect of relational listening is validating the other person's feelings. This doesn't mean you have to agree with everything they say, but rather that you acknowledge and understand their emotions.
For example, if an employee expresses frustration about their workload, instead of immediately jumping to solutions or explanations, you might say something like, "I can see why that would be overwhelming" or "I understand why you're feeling frustrated."
By validating their feelings first, you create a foundation of trust and understanding. This makes the employee more receptive to the feedback you'll provide later in the conversation.
The Power of Praise
Positive recognition is a powerful tool in the manager's toolkit. It not only makes both the giver and receiver feel good but also motivates continued good work and fosters a positive work environment.
The Importance of Frequent Praise
Research shows that most employees feel they don't receive enough praise at work. In fact, a 2011 Globoforce survey found that only one in four US workers believe they get enough recognition for their efforts.
As a manager, you might worry about praising too much, fearing it might undermine your authority or make your praise seem insincere. However, the research suggests otherwise. Studies have shown that high-performing teams receive significantly more praise than criticism – about 5.6 pieces of praise for every criticism.
Praising the Right Things: We-Strengths vs. Me-Strengths
When giving praise, it's important to focus on the right things. A useful framework is to consider "we-strengths" versus "me-strengths."
Me-strengths are individual skills or tasks that someone naturally enjoys or excels at. For example, if someone loves designing PowerPoint presentations, that's a me-strength.
We-strengths, on the other hand, are skills or behaviors that elevate the entire team or organization. For instance, being great at running meetings and bringing people to consensus is a we-strength.
While me-strengths are important, they often don't need as much recognition because they're inherently rewarding for the individual. We-strengths, however, should be celebrated regularly. This is especially important for new or inexperienced employees, as it helps reinforce positive behaviors that benefit the whole team.
Handling Negative Feedback
While giving praise is generally enjoyable, there will inevitably be times when you need to deliver negative feedback or address poor performance. These conversations can be stressful for both the manager and the employee, but with the right approach, they can lead to positive outcomes.
Creating a Safe Environment
When delivering negative feedback, it's crucial to create an environment where the employee feels safe and not threatened. Stress can impair cognitive function, making it difficult for the employee to process the feedback effectively.
Always give negative feedback in a private, one-on-one setting. Avoid singling out an individual for criticism in a group setting, as this can be humiliating and counterproductive.
Adopting a Growth Mindset
When addressing areas for improvement, adopt a growth mindset. This means framing the feedback in a way that emphasizes the potential for learning and development, rather than focusing on fixed traits or abilities.
For example, instead of saying "You're bad at negotiating," you might say "I noticed some areas where we can improve your negotiation skills." This approach acknowledges that skills can be developed and improved over time.
Addressing Sensitive Issues
Sometimes, you may need to address deeply personal issues, such as hygiene or behavioral problems. These conversations can be particularly awkward, but they're necessary for maintaining a positive work environment.
When tackling these sensitive topics:
- Acknowledge the awkwardness of the situation upfront.
- Remind the employee of your good intentions.
- State your observation clearly and explain how the issue affects the workplace.
- Ask for the employee's thoughts on the matter, giving them a chance to explain or provide context.
This approach shows respect for the employee while still addressing the issue at hand.
The Importance of Regular Check-ins
One of the most effective ways to avoid surprises and maintain a positive feedback culture is to have regular check-ins with your employees. These check-ins help ensure that everyone knows where they stand and allows you to address small issues before they become major problems.
Frequency of Check-ins
The frequency of check-ins can vary depending on the employee's situation:
- For most employees, aim for an evaluation conversation at least every six months.
- For employees being considered for new responsibilities, check in every three months.
- New employees or those on performance improvement plans should be checked on more frequently, potentially weekly for coaching and progress updates.
Ensuring Mutual Understanding
At the end of each check-in, it's important to ensure that both you and the employee are on the same page. Ask the employee to summarize their top three takeaways from the conversation. This not only reinforces the key points but also gives you a chance to clarify any misunderstandings.
A non-condescending way to do this is to say something like, "We've covered a lot of ground here; let's review your top three priorities going forward." This approach also allows you to set concrete, measurable goals for improvement if needed.
Putting It All Together: A Framework for Effective Feedback
Now that we've explored the various aspects of giving effective feedback, let's put it all together into a practical framework you can use in your next feedback conversation:
Prepare: Determine the type of feedback you're giving (appreciation, coaching, or evaluation) and gather specific examples to support your points.
Set the right mindset: Approach the conversation with flexibility, a collaborative attitude, and a belief in the employee's potential for growth.
Start with good intentions: Clearly express that you're on the employee's side and want to see them succeed.
Listen actively: Use relational listening to understand the employee's perspective and validate their feelings.
Deliver your feedback: Be specific, focus on behaviors rather than personality traits, and use a growth mindset approach.
For positive feedback: Be generous with praise, especially for we-strengths that benefit the team.
For negative feedback: Create a safe environment, frame issues as opportunities for growth, and be sensitive when addressing personal matters.
Ensure understanding: Ask the employee to summarize their key takeaways from the conversation.
Set goals: Establish clear, measurable objectives for moving forward.
Follow up: Schedule regular check-ins to monitor progress and provide ongoing support.
Conclusion
Effective feedback is a powerful tool for fostering growth, improving performance, and building strong, motivated teams. By understanding the different types of feedback, approaching conversations with the right mindset, and mastering the art of listening, you can transform your feedback sessions from dreaded obligations into valuable opportunities for connection and development.
Remember, the goal of feedback is not just to point out what's right or wrong, but to support your employees' growth and success. By making your good intentions clear, praising generously, addressing issues constructively, and maintaining regular communication, you can create a positive feedback culture that benefits everyone in your organization.
As you apply these principles from "Let's Talk" by Therese Huston, you'll likely find that your feedback conversations become more productive and less stressful for both you and your employees. Over time, this approach can lead to a more engaged, motivated, and high-performing team.
So, the next time you need to give feedback, remember: it's not just about what you say, but how you say it and how well you listen. With practice and patience, you can master the art of feedback and become a more effective leader in the process.