“What does it take to create a society where individuals fulfill their responsibilities to one another?” Rabbi Jonathan Sacks asks us to reimagine the ties that bind us together amid society's growing focus on individuality.

The Rise of Individualism Has Left Us Isolated

Society has increasingly focused on individual freedom and autonomy over the last few decades. This cultural shift shows up everywhere—from music lyrics moving from "we" to "I,” to a growing trend where people delay marriage, have fewer social bonds, and live alone more often. Such emphasis on independence has unintentionally fostered loneliness.

Loneliness carries heavy consequences. Chronic loneliness is harmful to health, akin to smoking 15 cigarettes daily. It also contributes to stress and weakened immune systems. This widespread isolation stems from a cultural mindset that views self-interest and personal happiness as the ultimate goals, leaving people disconnected from meaningful relationships.

The solution lies in focusing on community and service to others. Sacks invites readers to practice "unselfing," a moral approach where people evaluate their actions not just based on personal desire but also on how they affect others. Building meaningful connections and a sense of shared purpose helps combat isolation.

Examples

  • Popular music trends show fewer mentions of collective pronouns over time.
  • In urban settings, nearly half of all households now consist of people living alone.
  • Health studies link loneliness directly to higher stress and mortality rates.

Social Media Weakens Human Connection

Social media has revolutionized how we form relationships, yet it may be doing more harm than good. Research shows the average person has only a handful of close, dependable friends despite hundreds of online connections. These digital bonds often feel superficial, reducing genuine empathy.

The rise in screen time and the decline in face-to-face interaction correlate with diminished emotional health. Adolescents now spend upwards of seven hours daily on electronic devices, and studies reveal that increased social media use often leads to lower empathy and higher depression rates. Traditional family and social structures, meanwhile, have eroded, further isolating people.

Sacks argues that moral communities require depth in relationships, a depth that can't be cultivated through digital means alone. He calls for a return to face-to-face interactions and the reinforcement of family and communal structures to rebuild empathy and trust.

Examples

  • University of California research linked higher social media use to lower empathy ratings.
  • Teenagers average seven to nine hours of daily screen time.
  • Family dynamics, such as lower marriage rates, indicate a shift from traditional community values.

Ethical Economics Requires Balancing Self-Interest

Capitalism has improved quality of life in unprecedented ways but can falter without moral grounding. While self-interest drives innovation and wealth creation, unchecked greed produces harm. Case in point: the 2008 financial crisis resulted from businesses prioritizing short-term profit over long-term responsibility.

Sacks contrasts historical ideas of happiness with today's self-centered pursuit of pleasure. Philosophers like Aristotle saw happiness as aligning with virtue and contributing to the well-being of others, not just immediate gratification. Modern economics, however, often reduces happiness to material gains.

A system driven by morality balances self-interest with conscience. Individuals and business leaders alike must consider the broader consequences of their decisions, seeking meaning beyond profit. This approach fosters trust and long-term stability in economic systems.

Examples

  • The 2008 financial crash was fueled by reckless lending practices prioritizing profits.
  • Aristotle’s concept of eudaemonia ties happiness to virtuous actions and community service.
  • Materialistic pursuits provide fleeting joy compared to lasting satisfaction through relationships.

Societal Stability Requires Shared Moral Foundations

A society without shared values risks falling into chaos. Historically, philosophers debated whether individuals or states should enforce moral codes. Today, there’s a growing reliance on governments to provide security and happiness, but this expectation often leads to frustration when unmet.

Identity politics compounds division by focusing on individual or group differences rather than shared values. Overemphasis on personal identity can create friction among communities, further destabilizing society. Sacks believes that instead of looking solely to governments or identity labels, shared moral traditions foster unity.

Religion, Sacks notes, historically provided anchor points for communal ethics. By emphasizing collective action and moral duty, faith traditions can guide individuals toward shared goals and mutual support.

Examples

  • Identity politics often inflame divisions rather than encouraging cooperation.
  • Political distrust shows in the decline of faith in democratic institutions, such as political parties.
  • Religious traditions offer long-standing models of shared ethical behavior.

Truth is Central to a Moral Society

Society can only function if people value truth. However, misinformation and "post-truth" thinking have become rampant due to biased media, social media, and the rejection of objective facts. The 2016 U.S. presidential election highlighted a moment when emotions often outweighed evidence.

Postmodernism, which challenges the existence of objective reality, contributes to the current crisis of truth. This perspective undermines shared agreements necessary for societal coherence. Universities, where truth-seeking was once a priority, now often censor dissenting opinions in the name of emotional safety.

Sacks points to the Jewish tradition of "argument for the sake of heaven" as a healthier way forward, emphasizing respectful dialogue that seeks understanding. By nurturing open debate and committing to truth, communities can rebuild trust.

Examples

  • Media coverage during the 2016 election prioritized emotional appeals over factual clarity.
  • Postmodern philosophy creates skepticism about objective truths.
  • "Argument for the sake of heaven" fosters constructive and respectful disagreement.

Forgiveness Builds Stronger Communities

When people cling to past wounds or injustices, society risks becoming bitter and divided. While holding aggressors accountable is important, public shaming and revenge-oriented actions exacerbate divisions rather than healing them.

Sacks argues for forgiveness as an ethical choice, one that welcomes repentance and change. The Jewish and Christian faiths emphasize mercy and reconciliation, which can help communities transcend personal grievances. By extending compassion, individuals and societies can focus on building a better future rather than exacting punitive revenge.

Yisrael Kristal, a Holocaust survivor, exemplifies this mindset by rebuilding his life and community after unimaginable suffering. His ability to create rather than destroy serves as a model for resilient moral communities.

Examples

  • Social media culture amplifies public shaming, often skipping due process.
  • Religious teachings on repentance and mercy emphasize transformative justice.
  • Holocaust survivors like Yisrael Kristal rebuilt their lives through forward-thinking forgiveness.

Choice and Meaning Define Human Morality

Humans are set apart by their capacity for free will and meaning-making. Unlike animals or machines, people consciously elect their paths and grapple with their values. Sacks warns against forgetting this truth in an increasingly deterministic, science-driven world.

Frameworks like evolution and Marxism often treat humanity as a product of random chance or external pressures, neglecting individual agency. Jewish and Christian beliefs, however, honor the notion that humans are co-creators with God, responsible for shaping a purposeful world.

To build cohesive communities, individuals must embrace shared values, moving beyond self-serving aims and seeing themselves as part of a collective mission.

Examples

  • Evolutionary theory explains biology but often downplays human intentionality.
  • Freudian and Marxist models frame actions as dictated by external forces.
  • Religious teachings affirm human dignity through conscious moral choices.

A Variety of Moral Codes Coexist

Cultures around the world express morality differently. Thick moral codes contain specific rules tailored to individual societies, while thin moral codes operate universally, emphasizing core values like kindness and fairness.

Religious communities historically used thick codes to create cooperation within regions. Meanwhile, thin codes bridge cultures to address shared challenges like climate change. Sacks invites readers to respect diverse moralities but also commit deeply to a particular code within their community.

Committing to shared principles is key, as values are what sustain organizations and societies beyond market competition or state policies.

Examples

  • The Balinese use religious rituals to manage agricultural systems.
  • Athens and Confucian China upheld different civic values reflecting local needs.
  • Thin codes govern universal principles like preventing harm to others.

Rebuilding Society Starts Locally

Large-scale cultural change begins with small acts of kindness. Sacks illustrates this concept with the story of Gander, a small town that welcomed stranded travelers during the 9/11 crisis. Goodness often shines during dark times thanks to collective effort.

Sacks proposes shifting away from the "I" mentality of individualism toward a "we" mindset of mutual responsibility. He argues for a "politics of covenant" where communities prioritize collaborative solutions. Individuals, families, and organizations can reinvigorate moral behavior by focusing on shared goals.

History shows that cooperative approaches have eradicated diseases and ended injustices. With everyone pitching in, the future becomes hopeful again.

Examples

  • Gander residents helped thousands of stranded passengers during 9/11.
  • The abolition of slavery succeeded through moral covenant and collective action.
  • Modern examples of collaborative public health efforts showcase shared values.

Takeaways

  1. Prioritize face-to-face interactions to deepen your relationships and rebuild empathetic connections.
  2. Commit actively to a moral code that aligns with your values and fosters community.
  3. Lead by example through small acts of kindness to inspire collective responsibility in those around you.

Books like Morality