Introduction
"My Grandmother's Hands" by Resmaa Menakem is a groundbreaking book that explores the deep-rooted trauma of racism in America and offers a path toward healing. The author, a therapist specializing in trauma, argues that racism is not just a social or political issue, but a bodily one. The trauma of centuries of racial oppression and violence has left its mark on the bodies and nervous systems of both Black and white Americans, perpetuating cycles of harm across generations.
Menakem's approach is unique in that it focuses on the body as the starting point for addressing and healing racial trauma. He contends that simply changing laws or social attitudes is not enough to overcome racism - we must also work to heal our bodies from the effects of historical and ongoing racial trauma. The book offers practical exercises and insights to help readers begin this healing process, both individually and collectively.
Drawing on his personal experiences, client stories, and historical context, Menakem paints a vivid picture of how racial trauma manifests in our bodies and society. He traces the roots of this trauma from medieval Europe through American slavery and up to present-day police violence. Throughout, he emphasizes that overcoming racism requires more than just intellectual understanding - it demands embodied change and healing.
"My Grandmother's Hands" is a call to action for all Americans to confront the bodily impact of racism and take steps toward genuine healing and reconciliation. It offers hope that by addressing racial trauma at its deepest levels, we can create a more just and equitable society for all.
The Embodied Nature of Racism
Racism Lives in Our Bodies
One of the core premises of Menakem's book is that racism is not just an abstract concept or set of beliefs, but something that lives in our physical bodies. He illustrates this idea with a poignant story about his grandmother's hands, swollen and calloused from years of picking cotton as a child. This visible, tangible manifestation of racism's impact on the body serves as a powerful metaphor for the book's central argument.
Menakem explains that racism affects our bodies in both obvious and subtle ways. For Black Americans, the physical toll of racial oppression can be seen in higher rates of stress-related illnesses like high blood pressure and diabetes. But racism also leaves invisible marks on our nervous systems and brain chemistry, shaping how we react to the world around us.
The author argues that for many white Americans, racist behaviors and reactions are so deeply ingrained in their bodies that they often occur unconsciously. He gives the example of a white Walmart employee who consistently targeted only Black customers for receipt checks, without even realizing she was doing so. This unconscious bias stems from centuries of cultural conditioning that has become embedded in white bodies.
For Black Americans, Menakem notes that the constant experience of racial injustice can become so normalized that they may not even consciously register how it affects their bodies on a daily basis. However, the cumulative impact of these experiences takes a significant toll on physical and mental health over time.
The key takeaway is that racism in America is always a bodily experience, for both its victims and perpetrators. It's a form of trauma caused by the cumulative effect of historical oppression, systemic inequalities, and daily microaggressions. This trauma resides deep in the bodies of all Americans, shaping our instinctive reactions and behaviors in ways we may not even be aware of.
The Compounding Nature of Trauma
To understand how racism has become so deeply embedded in American bodies, Menakem explores the nature of trauma and how it compounds over time. He explains that our bodies are naturally oriented toward feeling safe and settled. When we encounter a threat, our bodies enter a state of high alert to help us respond quickly. Usually, this state subsides once the threat passes. However, when a threat is overwhelming or persistent, our bodies can get stuck in this heightened state, resulting in trauma.
Menakem introduces the concept of "hazy trauma," coined by therapist Nancy van Dyke. This refers to the cumulative effect of ongoing, low-level threats and stressors. For Black Americans, the constant experience of racial discrimination and microaggressions creates this type of pervasive, hazy trauma.
The author emphasizes that trauma responses often bypass our conscious, thinking brain and activate more primitive brain structures responsible for instinctive reactions. This means that many trauma responses are not under our direct control. Our bodies develop various coping mechanisms to try to regain a sense of safety, but these can often perpetuate the trauma or even pass it on to others. For instance, traumatized parents may unintentionally traumatize their children through emotional volatility or substance abuse.
Menakem also discusses the emerging scientific evidence for the intergenerational transmission of trauma through genetic changes. Studies have shown that extreme stress can cause mutations in sperm cells that affect gene expression in offspring. This means that the effects of historical traumas like slavery or the Holocaust can be passed down through generations at a biological level.
The author introduces the concept of a "soul wound" to describe this kind of deep, intergenerational trauma that affects entire communities. He argues that healing such wounds requires more than just addressing surface-level symptoms - it demands a deep, body-based approach to healing.
The Invention of Race
To fully understand the trauma of racism in America, Menakem takes readers through a brief history of how the concept of race was invented and weaponized. He points out that for much of American history, people weren't classified simply as "white" - they were identified by their specific European origins. The social category of "white people" only emerged in the late 17th century as a deliberate strategy to divide the working class.
The author describes how early revolts on plantations often involved both Black enslaved people and white laborers from various European backgrounds fighting together against their oppressors. To prevent such alliances, those in power created the category of "whiteness" and granted marginal benefits to those who fell within it. This strategy effectively divided the working class along racial lines.
With the invention of race came the toxic ideologies of white supremacy and white body supremacy. These beliefs assert that white people and white bodies are inherently superior and more valuable than others. Menakem explains how these ideas have become deeply ingrained in American society, manifesting in everything from police violence against Black people to discrimination in hiring practices.
The author introduces Robin DiAngelo's concept of white fragility as a central tenet of white supremacy. This refers to the deeply held but often unconscious belief among white Americans that white bodies are fragile and vulnerable, needing protection from supposedly dangerous Black bodies. Conversely, Black bodies are stereotyped as aggressive, hypersexual, and impervious to pain. This myth of white fragility justifies the control and subjugation of Black bodies "for the safety" of white bodies.
Menakem emphasizes that these toxic ideas have been internalized by both white and Black Americans, albeit in different ways. He gives the example of author Brent Staples, who would whistle classical music when passing white people on the street to make them feel less threatened by his Black body. This anecdote illustrates how deeply ingrained these racial stereotypes and fears have become in American society.
The key point is that race is a social construct, invented and perpetuated to maintain power structures. Understanding this history is crucial for dismantling the bodily trauma of racism.
The Path to Healing
Starting with the Body
Having established the deep-rooted nature of racial trauma, Menakem turns to the process of healing. He argues that because racism is so deeply embedded in our bodies, overcoming it must begin with bodily healing. This applies to everyone - Black people, white people, and law enforcement officers alike.
The author explains that racism perpetuates itself through our bodies, often without our conscious awareness. He revisits the example of the white supermarket employee unconsciously profiling Black customers, and adds examples of internalized racism among Black people who criticize each other for being "too Black" or "not Black enough." These behaviors stem from trauma responses that bypass our conscious mind.
Menakem particularly focuses on the issue of police violence against Black people. He argues that when a white police officer encounters an unfamiliar Black body, centuries of ingrained white supremacy can trigger an instinctive fear response. This bodily reaction can lead to violence before the officer's conscious mind has a chance to intervene. This explanation doesn't excuse such violence, but it underscores the need for bodily healing to prevent these tragic incidents.
The key to breaking this cycle, according to Menakem, is learning to "settle" our bodies. This involves practices that help us regain a sense of safety and calm, allowing us to respond to situations more consciously rather than reacting from a place of trauma.
The author introduces various exercises developed by trauma therapists to help settle the body. Many of these are rooted in mindfulness, meditation, and breathing practices. Others draw on ancient communal rituals involving humming, singing, and dancing. He emphasizes that regularly practicing these exercises can help acknowledge and relieve the tension and pain our bodies are holding onto.
One simple exercise Menakem describes is the Body Scan. This involves lying down, closing your eyes, and systematically focusing your attention on different parts of your body, observing any sensations without judgment. This practice helps increase body awareness and can release tension.
The author stresses that by learning to settle our bodies, we become less likely to pass our trauma onto others, even in stressful situations. This can create opportunities for healing not just individually, but collectively. However, he notes that the specific practices may differ depending on whether you're Black, white, or a police officer, as each group carries different forms of racial trauma.
Healing Practices for Black Bodies
Menakem dedicates significant attention to practices that can help Black people begin to heal from racial trauma. He emphasizes that unresolved trauma doesn't just affect mental health - it burdens the entire nervous system and can lead to a variety of physical ailments. Therefore, healing this trauma is crucial for overall wellbeing.
The author acknowledges that confronting trauma can be painful, but he distinguishes between "clean pain" and "dirty pain." The pain of steadily and patiently working through trauma is a clean pain that ultimately leads to relief. This is preferable to the lingering dirty pain of suppressing, compensating for, or fighting against trauma.
Menakem outlines a general process for trauma-processing exercises: settling the body, paying attention to arising sensations, accepting any pain or discomfort, and then safely discharging that tension. He reiterates the value of practices like the Body Scan and encourages incorporating short meditations, mindfulness exercises, and breathing techniques into daily life.
The author also emphasizes the power of collective healing practices. He notes that throughout America's violent history, Black people have developed various communal practices to soothe their bodies. Enslaved people, laborers, and prisoners often sang, hummed, and wailed together as a form of collective healing. Menakem encourages readers to try similar practices with friends, family, or coworkers. For example, he suggests forming a circle to hum and sway together, noting that synchronizing bodies in this way can have a powerful calming effect.
Beyond specific exercises, Menakem stresses the importance of general self-care for healing racial trauma. This includes getting enough rest, eating healthily, exercising regularly, and incorporating fun and relaxing activities into daily life. He particularly emphasizes the need for self-care among activists, reminding readers that changing the world starts with caring for one's own body.
Unlearning White Body Supremacy
While acknowledging that Black bodies carry a heavier burden of racial trauma, Menakem doesn't ignore the impact on white bodies. He points out that many white Americans have their own cultural history of violence, often fleeing persecution in Europe. Moreover, whether they participated in, condoned, or fought against it, many white Americans have witnessed incredible violence against Black and Native American bodies over the course of American history, leading to secondary trauma.
The author emphasizes that white people shouldn't feel personally guilty for having internalized white body supremacy, as it's a product of centuries of cultural conditioning. However, he stresses that this doesn't absolve white people of the responsibility to actively work against racism. Learning to settle the body is crucial for white people to become effective allies, as it can help overcome the hypersensitivity that stems from internalized white fragility.
Menakem offers practical advice for white people looking to begin this process. He suggests starting with simple mindfulness practices, such as paying attention to bodily sensations when around unfamiliar Black people. If nervousness arises for no good reason, this could indicate internalized racist associations. The author encourages using calming body exercises to soothe these reactions and help unlearn these associations.
To further this process, Menakem recommends that white people regularly seek out majority-Black spaces like restaurants, cafés, or barber shops. This exposure can help train the body to become more comfortable around Black bodies.
Once white people have begun to take charge of their own bodies, Menakem encourages them to put anti-racist beliefs into practice through small, courageous actions in everyday life. This might involve choosing to ask a Black salesperson for help instead of a white one, or calling out instances of white privilege among family, friends, or colleagues.
Throughout this process, the author emphasizes the importance of continual body awareness. He encourages white readers to notice when reflexive feelings of white body supremacy arise, but not to berate themselves for these reactions. Instead, he advises simply observing the discomfort and then letting it go, as part of the ongoing process of unlearning deeply ingrained racial biases.
Reforming Police Culture
Menakem dedicates a significant portion of the book to addressing the issue of police violence against Black people. He approaches this sensitive topic with nuance, acknowledging that police officers are human beings affected by the same racial trauma as the rest of society, while also emphasizing the urgent need for change in policing practices.
The author traces the roots of modern American policing to the "slave patrols" established in South Carolina in 1704, highlighting how the institution was designed from its inception to serve white body supremacy. He also points out the extreme stress inherent in police work and criticizes police departments for failing to provide adequate support for officers to manage this stress. Instead, he argues, departments often incentivize the wrong behaviors, such as high arrest rates, which can exacerbate tensions with communities.
Menakem's approach to reforming police culture starts, like his approach to all racial healing, with the body. He emphasizes that police officers, especially white officers, need to learn how to safely release the bodily tension that builds up from their high-stress work. The author recommends the same body-based trauma exercises outlined earlier in the book, suggesting that these can help officers discharge stress and, for white officers, unlearn unconscious bias toward unfamiliar Black bodies.
The author also encourages police officers to incorporate moments of softness and self-care into their off-duty time. He gives the example of former NBA star Shaquille O'Neal, who is vocal about getting manicures to calm his nerves. Menakem argues that settling the body in these ways can help officers remain calmer and more clear-headed in high-stress situations, potentially preventing fatal reactions rooted in fear.
For police leaders, Menakem recommends implementing programs to support officers' mental and physical health. This could include offering meditation sessions, exercise classes, and regular consultations with therapists. He emphasizes that the goal should be to train officers in true community policing - an approach that sees the police as friends and helpers rather than antagonists to the community they serve.
Specific suggestions for community policing include training officers in psychological first aid to help them approach people in distress more safely, and encouraging officers to engage with the community through volunteering or simply talking to people in the neighborhood. Menakem argues that these practices can improve both the mental health of officers and the overall health of the communities they serve.
Creating a Culture of Anti-Racism
In the final sections of the book, Menakem broadens his focus to discuss how we can create a wider culture of anti-racism in America. He emphasizes that social change starts in our bodies, spreads to our communities, and ultimately transforms our culture. This transformed culture then creates new possibilities for future generations to grow up with fewer burdens and more opportunities.
The author acknowledges that America is still far from overcoming its deeply rooted culture of white supremacy, but he sees signs of hope in the growing awareness and activism around racial issues. He outlines several ways that individuals and communities can contribute to fostering an anti-racist culture:
Creating rituals from body-based practices: Menakem encourages readers to incorporate the healing exercises described in the book into regular individual and communal rituals.
Celebrating Black excellence: He emphasizes the importance of recognizing and honoring Black American artists, activists, and intellectuals, such as novelist Toni Morrison and poet Maya Angelou.
Developing new narratives: The author encourages communities to create and share new stories about their history and identity, passing these on to future generations.
Parallel healing processes: Menakem suggests that Black and white communities should work on healing racial trauma in parallel, with plenty of collaboration and coordination between these efforts.
White leadership in dismantling white supremacy: As the majority group, white Americans have a particular responsibility to lead the way in rejecting white body supremacy. This involves extensive self-education through reading groups, public talks, lectures, and discussion rounds.
Dismantling white fragility: A crucial step for white people is to overcome the idea of white fragility. Instead of becoming defensive when racial issues are discussed, white people need to recognize their strength and capacity to confront white supremacy directly.
Menakem stresses that everyone has a role to play in this process, both as individuals and as active members of their communities. He envisions a future where these collective efforts create a healthy culture that values all bodies equally, regardless of race.
Conclusion
"My Grandmother's Hands" offers a unique and powerful perspective on the issue of racism in America. By focusing on the bodily experience of racial trauma, Resmaa Menakem provides a new framework for understanding and addressing this deep-rooted problem.
The book's central argument is that the trauma of racism lives in our bodies, passed down through generations and reinforced by ongoing experiences of racial injustice. This trauma affects both Black and white Americans, albeit in different ways, shaping our instinctive reactions and perpetuating cycles of harm.
Menakem's approach to healing this trauma is grounded in body-based practices. He offers a variety of exercises and techniques designed to help readers settle their bodies, release tension, and begin to unlearn ingrained racial biases. These practices range from individual mindfulness exercises to collective rituals that can be performed in communities.
The author applies this body-centered approach to various aspects of racial healing, including personal growth, community building, and institutional reform. He offers specific guidance for Black Americans working to heal from racial trauma, white Americans striving to unlearn white body supremacy, and police officers seeking to transform their approach to community relations.
Throughout the book, Menakem emphasizes that overcoming racism is not just a matter of changing laws or attitudes. It requires deep, embodied change that addresses the trauma stored in our bodies and nervous systems. This process is challenging and often uncomfortable, but the author argues that it's necessary for creating lasting change.
"My Grandmother's Hands" is ultimately a book of hope. While acknowledging the depth and persistence of racism in America, Menakem offers a path forward. He envisions a future where Americans of all races have healed from the trauma of racism, creating a society that truly values all bodies equally.
The book serves as both a wake-up call and a practical guide. It challenges readers to confront the bodily reality of racism in their own lives, while providing tools and strategies to begin the healing process. By linking personal healing to broader social change, Menakem offers a holistic approach to addressing one of America's most persistent and painful issues.
In the end, "My Grandmother's Hands" is a call to action. It invites readers to engage in the difficult but necessary work of healing racial trauma, both in themselves and in their communities. Through this process, Menakem suggests, we can create a more just, equitable, and emotionally healthy society for all.