My Grandmother's Hands

"Racism is not just about societal systems or biases—we carry it in our bodies, and its healing must start there." This book asks: how can we heal the unseen wounds of racism that affect all Americans?

1. Racism is a bodily experience

Racism isn't confined to history books or systemic structures—it lives in the human body. For Black Americans, it manifests in physical and mental health issues such as stress, high blood pressure, or anxiety that stem from daily racial injustices. For white Americans, racism's effects may be less obvious but are tied to unconscious biases embedded deep within their nervous systems.

One powerful example is the author's grandmother, whose hands bore scars from picking cotton as a child. These visible signs of racism only scratch the surface of what racism does to the body. Often unnoticed, the trauma of racism disrupts the body’s nervous system, leaving long-lasting effects. White Americans, like the Walmart employee who racially profiled customers without realizing it, also carry racism unconsciously.

Racism’s effects on the body make it clear that addressing societal change alone is insufficient. Healing must begin at the physical, personal level. This requires acknowledging both the visible and invisible wounds caused by centuries of systemic oppression.

Examples

• Black Americans disproportionately suffering from diseases like hypertension and diabetes.
• A Walmart employee racially profiling Black customers unconsciously.
• The scars on the author's grandmother’s hands from child labor on plantations.

2. Trauma is passed down through generations

Trauma doesn’t only affect individuals—it is handed down through families and communities over time. This generational transmission occurs not just through family stories or behaviors, but also through biological changes caused by stress and trauma.

The author explains how parents’ unresolved trauma can unintentionally impact their children. As science reveals, trauma-induced genetic changes can alter how stress and danger are perceived by descendants. The legacy of slavery, colonialism, and systemic discrimination continues to burden communities long after the actual events took place.

Without intentional healing, generational trauma, referred to as a “soul wound” by the author, perpetuates feelings of danger and anxiety. Healing from this wound is essential for individuals and for breaking harmful cycles within families and societies.

Examples

• Genetic studies showing trauma from Holocaust survivors being passed to their children.
• The harmful coping mechanisms of traumatized parents influencing their children.
• Black Americans experiencing ingrained fear due to centuries of oppression.

3. Race is a human invention

The idea of race hasn’t always existed. Before the late seventeenth century, people were categorized based on nationality, ethnicity, or religion—not the color of their skin. Race is a societal construct deliberately created to sustain power imbalances. It serves to divide and control, rather than to reflect real differences.

The historical creation of "white" as a category was a strategy implemented on plantations, dividing poor white laborers and Black enslaved individuals by offering marginal benefits to whites. This system seeded white supremacy and ensured oppression persisted. Today, these divisions manifest in discriminatory practices, such as higher rejection rates for resumes with Black-sounding names.

Challenging racism requires confronting this lie at its root—that race defines human value. Understanding that race was invented can disrupt the associated myths of inherent superiority or inferiority.

Examples

• Historical evidence showing white supremacy emerging as a strategy on plantations.
• Police treating Black suspects more harshly than white mass shooters.
• Discrimination in hiring based on names that sound “Black.”

4. Healing begins within our own bodies

Systemic racism will persist unless individuals address the trauma embedded in their own bodies. Fear, stress, and unconscious bias are not just psychological—they are bodily responses. Without healing these physical effects, the cycle of harm continues.

Body-based practices like mindfulness, meditation, and rhythmic movement are effective tools for beginning this process. Settling the body allows individuals to release pent-up tension and reframe their reactions in stressful situations. Exercises such as the Body Scan, which involves focusing attention on areas of the body one by one, can help people reconnect with and calm their physical selves.

By healing their own bodies, individuals can reduce the transmission of trauma and better engage with broader efforts against racism, including reaching across racial or cultural divides.

Examples

• Trauma therapists recommending breathing practices to calm the body.
• Body-based rhythmic rituals, like those practiced historically by Black communities.
• The effectiveness of mindfulness in easing stress and tension.

5. Black Americans can reclaim practices for healing

For Black Americans, healing involves addressing centuries of racialized trauma. Traditional movements, many of which are rooted in communal practices like singing and swaying, help release tension and reconnect with shared cultural resilience.

Revisiting these communal practices can provide a release valve for the body’s stress and even serve as prevention against future trauma. For instance, humming or rocking as practiced by past generations is an intuitive way to self-soothe. These actions unite individuals and foster feelings of safety within a community.

Adding daily self-care routines, such as meditation, can amplify bodily awareness. Paired with rest, exercise, and healthy eating, these habits create a foundation for sustainable healing and resilience.

Examples

• Black laborers singing as a way to endure and heal.
• Swaying or rocking traditions observed by older community members.
• Group humming exercises fostering a collective sense of calm.

6. White people must address their own role

White Americans also carry trauma that contributes to racism. While they face less direct harm, they inherit biases and fragility that fuel discrimination. Acknowledging and confronting these internalized beliefs is the first step toward change.

White fragility, the belief that white bodies are vulnerable and need constant protection, often leads to overreactions or harmful behaviors. To become anti-racist, white Americans must unlearn these patterns by exposing themselves to multicultural spaces and practicing discomfort, like confronting their biases. Observing and calming their physical responses, such as tension or unease near unfamiliar Black people, is part of this process.

Ultimately, change is not possible without active participation. White Americans are called to speak up against inequality in everyday situations, whether at work, home, or in public spaces.

Examples

• Mindfully observing discomfort when interacting with Black people.
• Seeking out Black-owned businesses or spaces to challenge bias.
• Speaking out against hiring discrimination complained of by Black co-workers.

7. Police culture needs transformation

Modern policing perpetuates centuries-old systems of oppression, originating in enslavement. This context, combined with the stress of the job, takes its toll. Officers routinely experience bodily tension that can lead to harm if not properly addressed.

Just as trauma affects society, it affects individual officers’ reactions, especially in tense situations. Exercises to settle the body can help officers respond rather than react impulsively. Police leaders have a responsibility to introduce wellness programs, therapy, and training to reshape community roles. Such initiatives pivot officers toward being protectors rather than oppressors.

Building trust with communities requires long-term involvement and visible care, not fear-based policing.

Examples

• Slave patrols being the origin of police departments.
• Police training emphasizing arrest numbers over community engagement.
• Shaquille O’Neal’s self-soothing techniques, like manicures, as an example of self-care.

8. Anti-racism starts locally and builds outward

Social progress doesn’t begin with sweeping reforms—it starts with individuals and ripples out to communities, creating a culture that values equality. Groups can embrace healing practices, celebrate cultural contributions, and share new narratives.

Starting small, each group should focus inward first: Black communities addressing trauma, white communities taking responsibility for their biases. Having intersecting spaces where these initiatives run parallel, instead of isolated, enables collaboration and understanding.

Over time, these shifts can challenge national and cultural norms, setting up future generations for a healthier society.

Examples

• Reading circles discussing racial topics in white communities.
• Black artists like Toni Morrison contributing to new cultural narratives.
• Body-based healing rituals bringing neighbors together.

9. The myth of white fragility must be dismantled

The pervasive idea that white Americans are too fragile to discuss or confront racism must be abandoned. This mindset places the responsibility for change on Black Americans and stymies progress.

White allies are encouraged to take full responsibility for unlearning these patterns and engaging in anti-racist work continuously. Leaders like Robin DiAngelo have highlighted the importance of resilience in addressing privilege, rather than avoiding the discomfort it brings.

Reframing white fragility as strength-based gives individuals the courage to lead in dismantling white supremacy.

Examples

• Robin DiAngelo citing examples of defensive reactions in race discussions.
• Allies organizing public reading events to learn about systemic oppression.
• Solving interracial conflicts at workplaces or in communities without deflecting.

Takeaways

1. Actively practice calming exercises like the Body Scan to identify and release bodily stress caused by racial biases or experiences.
2. Speak out against dog-whistle language and question hidden messages to challenge racism in daily conversations.
3. Engage with other communities—like Black-owned spaces—to unlearn biases and experience diverse perspectives firsthand.