Necessary Endings Summary

“Without the ability to end things, people stay stuck, never becoming who they are meant to be, never accomplishing all that their talents and abilities should afford them.”

1. Endings are essential for growth

Endings can often feel painful, but they are a necessary part of life. Without them, we would remain stuck in circumstances that hinder our personal or professional growth. Much like chapters closing in a book, endings open the door to new opportunities and better experiences. Recognizing this can motivate us to face endings bravely.

Consider an old product line or a dated system in a business. Continuing to invest time and money into something unprofitable restricts progress. In our personal lives, staying in unhealthy relationships or habits can prevent us from achieving happiness or self-fulfillment. Recognizing these endings as stepping stones for growth is key.

Endings allow us to move toward our goals without unnecessary baggage. Without periodically evaluating what no longer serves us, we would never outgrow unhealthy friendships or leave unsuitable jobs. Embracing endings ensures that energy and focus are directed toward what's meaningful.

Examples

• Sony phased out the iconic Walkman and transitioned to newer tech to meet changing demands.
• A manager who lets go of underperforming employees makes room for stronger talent.
• Ending reliance on unhealthy habits, such as procrastination, allows one to adopt more productive behaviors.

2. Define your goals before making a change

Just like a gardener prunes for healthier roses, we must be deliberate about what we cut from our lives. Before ending something, it’s essential to have clear goals and aspirations. This helps determine what to let go of and what efforts to preserve or strengthen.

Take the example of Jack Welch, the former CEO of General Electric. Welch made tough cuts, from phasing out unproductive initiatives to annual layoffs. His clarity on pushing GE into the market’s top two drove these decisions – which drastically increased the company’s value. Without a clear target, pruning risks becoming aimless or counterproductive.

When we normalize endings as part of the process, it becomes easier to make these decisions. Ending a failing project or stepping out of an unfulfilling relationship paves the way for pursuing something better. Clear goals empower us to focus on what truly matters.

Examples

• A business owner shutting down a losing venture to pivot into a new, profitable one.
• A working professional stepping away from a taxing side hustle to focus on career growth.
• Individuals ending friendships that drain them emotionally to make space for healthier connections.

3. Past behaviors predict future outcomes

When deciding whether to end something, examining past actions and patterns provides vital clues. The saying "past behavior is the best predictor of future behavior" underscores why looking backward helps in making forward-looking decisions.

In relationships, for instance, assessing how a partner handled responsibilities in the past sheds light on their potential as a lifelong teammate. This same practice applies in professional settings. A comedy club owner, for example, determined whether to rehire an unfunny performer by evaluating their previous performance rather than their promises.

By studying past experiences, we can make informed choices about whether someone or something is worth our continued investment. This reflection leads to growth and better decisions in relationships, work, and personal matters.

Examples

• The author’s friend analyzed a potential son-in-law’s financial history for responsibility indicators.
• Reviewing an employee's lackluster performance to decide if firing is necessary.
• Evaluating a business partnership based on trustworthiness and mutual benefit in previous projects.

4. Use urgency to push for change

Change often stems from urgency. If a situation feels tolerable but stagnant, most people won’t take action. Facing the reality of current circumstances and picturing them years into the future can bring the urgency needed to act.

Imagine you run a struggling business. Sales are stagnant, but you’re getting by. Now picture yourself in exactly the same position three years from now. This visualization can spark a powerful drive for transformation and create the motivation needed to close ineffective strategies.

Being honest about the present helps clarify what adjustments to make. When paired with urgency – the fear of staying stuck and the pull toward better opportunities – this clarity sets the stage for effective endings.

Examples

• A business owner deciding to cut costs suddenly after learning about a cheaper competitor.
• Confronting a toxic work environment by picturing its long-term toll on mental health.
• Identifying the need for a career shift when imagining future dissatisfaction in the current role.

5. Communicating clear standards invites healthy endings

When faced with the decision to end a relationship or partnership, being upfront about expectations can simplify the process. By expressing desires and standards, you allow the other person the chance to self-assess and adapt or part ways.

Consider a romantic partner who has difficulty committing to marriage. By stating explicitly what you’re looking for – a responsible, committed partner – you give clarity. If they cannot meet the standard, both parties can identify that the relationship has reached its natural conclusion.

This strategy prevents ambiguity and confusion, allowing for cleaner and less painful endings. It also reinforces the importance of being transparent about personal or professional boundaries.

Examples

• Telling a romantic partner upfront you’re seeking long-term commitment.
• Setting clear targets for a project team and ending partnerships if goals aren’t met.
• Declaring to yourself that a failing business must rebound within a set timeframe or be closed.

6. Endings must sometimes be self-driven

In certain situations, the onus is on us to make tough decisions about what requires an ending. This requires self-awareness, accountability, and the willingness to shoulder responsibility for concluding something that doesn’t work.

For instance, a young entrepreneur running an unprofitable business must assess its viability. Setting conditions – such as financial metrics to meet within six months – helps remove emotion from the equation. The same applies for a professional relocating to a new city but struggling to find work. Instead of passively waiting, they determine their own deadlines to reassess their decision.

By setting personal standards and measurements, we empower ourselves to make changes independently of external pressure or influence.

Examples

• A small business owner preparing to close shop if profits don’t improve within six months.
• An unemployed individual deciding to leave an unsupportive city after a jobless year.
• A solopreneur vowing to drop their passion project if it remains unprofitable by year-end.

7. Prepare carefully for difficult conversations

Whether breaking up with a partner, firing an employee, or ending a friendship, the conversation itself often feels more terrifying than the decision. Preparation can help lessen the burden and ensure the interaction stays focused.

Crafting a clear script of what you want to say is a helpful first step. For example, if you plan to end a toxic relationship, writing down your main points prevents derailment. When you know where you stand and stick to your goals, you won’t be swayed by pleas or attempts at manipulation.

Approaching these discussions with clarity and a forward-looking mindset helps carry them to a respectful resolution.

Examples

• Jotting down an exact script to end a relationship with an abusive partner.
• Preparing specific points when letting an employee go for performance issues.
• Visualizing a break-up conversation with goals in mind to ease nervousness.

8. Normalize endings instead of fearing them

Fear of endings sometimes stems from seeing them as inherently negative or taboo. However, treating them as natural parts of life makes it easier to embrace them when necessary.

Blair, a hypothetical businessman, illustrates this well. Rather than fruitlessly pouring resources into his outdated chemical business, he accepted the signs and decided to return to school. This pivot led to a fulfilling second career in finance. His story shows how normalizing endings ensures clarity for the next step.

Treating endings as necessary and even beneficial encourages us to act before situations become damaging or irreversible.

Examples

• Considering failed business ventures as a learning experience rather than a personal defeat.
• Ending childhood friendships that no longer serve adult growth.
• Recognizing personal habits as wrong for long-term goals and letting them go.

9. Endings free space for thriving and fulfillment

When something that doesn’t work is removed, a void is created where new opportunities can flourish. This trade-off is the greatest benefit of necessary endings, ensuring that both people and businesses reach their full potential.

Letting go of an ill-fitting job creates pathways for personal fulfillment with new roles. Similarly, retiring a failing product line lets a business develop fresh technologies. These actions open up worlds of potential otherwise impossible to achieve when dragging old baggage forward.

Endings clear the clutter. They liberate our time, energy, and focus to redirect all efforts into more fulfilling paths.

Examples

• Leaving a low-paying, thankless job opens the door for a better one.
• Removing underperforming employees energizes a department.
• Ending an unhealthy marriage allows individuals to rediscover themselves and rebuild happiness.

Takeaways

1. Reflect on past behaviors and patterns to decide if a situation deserves an ending.
2. Set clear goals and personal standards to facilitate easy decision-making.
3. Prepare for tough conversations by scripting your intentions and visualizing outcomes.