Introduction
For over two decades, ABC News correspondent Matt Gutman led a double life. To the public, he was a fearless reporter, braving war zones and natural disasters to bring breaking news to millions of viewers. But behind the scenes, Gutman was battling a secret enemy: crippling panic attacks that threatened to derail his career and upend his personal life.
In "No Time to Panic," Gutman takes readers on a deeply personal journey through the hidden world of anxiety and panic disorders. With unflinching honesty, he recounts how his condition spiraled out of control, culminating in a very public on-air meltdown while covering the tragic death of basketball legend Kobe Bryant. This watershed moment forced Gutman to finally confront the panic disorder he had been hiding for years.
Part memoir and part scientific exploration, this book follows Gutman's quest to understand the roots of panic and find effective treatments. He consults leading experts, tries cutting-edge therapies, and leaves no stone unturned in his search for answers. Along the way, he offers fellow anxiety sufferers hope, wisdom, and practical strategies for managing panic.
With vulnerability and hard-won insights, Gutman sheds light on a condition that affects millions yet remains shrouded in stigma and misunderstanding. "No Time to Panic" is an eye-opening look at anxiety in the modern world and a roadmap for reclaiming life from its grip.
The Seeds of Panic
Gutman traces the origins of his panic disorder back to a defining childhood trauma: the sudden death of his father in a plane crash when Matt was just 12 years old. This early loss cast a long shadow over Gutman's life, shaping his worldview and career choices in ways he didn't fully grasp until much later.
Driven by a mix of ambition and unconscious risk-seeking, Gutman pursued a career in journalism that frequently placed him in dangerous situations. He reported from war zones like Iraq and Afghanistan, covered natural disasters, and seemed to thrive on adrenaline. Some friends even speculated that Gutman's risk-taking bordered on a death wish, as if he were tempting fate to meet the same early end as his father.
But while Gutman projected an image of fearlessness, he was secretly battling waves of debilitating panic attacks. The contrast between his public persona and private struggles created immense psychological strain. Gutman became adept at hiding his anxiety, but the toll it took on his mental health continued to mount.
As Gutman approached his 42nd birthday - the same age his father was when he died - the journalist found himself grappling with complex emotions. He had now outlived his father, entering uncharted territory in his own life story. This milestone coincided with mounting pressure in his career, creating a perfect storm of anxiety that would soon erupt into public view.
The On-Air Meltdown
In January 2020, Gutman was covering the helicopter crash that killed basketball star Kobe Bryant, his daughter Gianna, and seven others. As he prepared to go live on air with breaking details about the tragedy, Gutman felt the familiar surge of panic rising within him. His heart raced, his vision narrowed, and his thoughts became muddled.
Fighting to maintain his composure, Gutman pushed through and delivered his report. But in his panicked state, he made a critical error, misreporting key details about the crash. This mistake, broadcast to millions of viewers, led to Gutman's suspension from ABC News and thrust his private struggle into the spotlight.
The incident left Gutman reeling with shame, regret, and fear for his career. But it also forced him to confront the panic disorder he had been hiding for so long. With time away from work due to his suspension, Gutman resolved to finally get to the bottom of his condition and find a way to manage it.
This pivotal moment set Gutman on a journey of self-discovery and scientific inquiry. He would spend the next several months diving deep into the world of anxiety research, consulting experts, and trying various treatments in his quest for relief from panic.
Understanding Panic: The Basics
To tackle his panic disorder, Gutman knew he first needed to understand exactly what was happening in his brain and body during an attack. He immersed himself in the scientific literature and interviewed leading researchers to grasp the fundamentals of panic.
Gutman learned that panic attacks involve an abrupt and intense surge of fear that peaks within minutes. While fear is a normal response to immediate threats, anxiety involves perceived future dangers and often triggers panic episodes. About 5% of Americans suffer from panic disorder, defined as repeated unexpected panic attacks and chronic worry about having more attacks.
During a panic attack, a part of the brain called the amygdala essentially hijacks the body's threat response system. It triggers the release of stress hormones like adrenaline, activating the "fight, flight, or freeze" response. This flood of hormones causes the physical symptoms of panic: racing heart, shortness of breath, sweating, trembling, and a sense of impending doom.
The key problem in panic disorder is that this emergency system gets activated in situations that don't actually pose any real danger. The amygdala misfires, creating a false alarm that feels terrifyingly real to the person experiencing it. This is why panic attacks often make people feel like they're dying or losing control, even though there's no actual threat to their life.
Gutman found it both reassuring and frustrating to learn that his panic attacks were essentially just a "brain trick." While it helped to know he wasn't actually in danger during an attack, he still struggled to understand why his brain would play such a cruel trick on him in the first place.
The Ancient Roots of Anxiety
To dig deeper into the origins of panic, Gutman consulted neurobiologist Robert Sapolsky, an expert on the evolution of the stress response. Sapolsky explained that anxiety has very ancient roots in our biology, dating back hundreds of millions of years.
Key stress hormones like adrenaline and cortisol first emerged in early vertebrates about 500 million years ago. Even dinosaurs had the capacity for acute stress responses, allowing them to react to immediate threats. But they lacked the brain structures for more complex, future-oriented anxiety.
It wasn't until about 20-25 million years ago that apes evolved the ability to experience fear and stress in advance of actual dangers. This gave them a huge survival advantage, allowing them to recognize threats early and take preemptive action. By getting anxious about potential risks, apes could avoid dangerous situations altogether rather than having to react in the moment.
This capacity for "planning through anxiety" provided a net benefit, even if it sometimes caused unnecessary stress. It was more energy-efficient to expend some resources on worrying than to constantly be fleeing from immediate threats. Apes could now get anxious about a distant predator and leave the area, rather than having to run for their lives later on.
As humans evolved, we took this anxiety capacity to new heights. Our advanced cognitive abilities allow us to imagine and worry about abstract threats that may never materialize. While this can be adaptive in many ways, it also opens the door to excessive anxiety that outgrows its usefulness.
Gutman found it fascinating to learn that panic attacks are, in a sense, an outgrowth of an ancient survival mechanism. His brain was doing exactly what it evolved to do - identify threats and mobilize a response. The problem was that this system was now overreacting to non-threatening situations in modern life.
The Stigma Surrounding Panic
As Gutman continued his research, he was struck by how little public awareness and support existed for panic disorders compared to other mental health conditions. While there are well-established support networks for issues like depression and addiction, Gutman struggled to find similar resources for panic sufferers.
To understand why, he consulted psychologist Mitch Prinstein. Prinstein explained that the lack of visibility for panic disorders stems from several factors:
- The invisible nature of panic attacks makes them easy to hide or dismiss.
- Early psychoanalytic theories promoted shame by linking anxiety to unconscious desires or childhood trauma.
- Many panic sufferers don't even realize they have a diagnosable condition, assuming their symptoms are just nerves or stress.
- The sudden, unpredictable nature of panic attacks makes it challenging for sufferers to consistently engage in support groups.
This lack of awareness and support creates a vicious cycle. The silence and shame surrounding panic prevent collective advocacy efforts that could raise awareness and create more resources. Meanwhile, the lack of visible support perpetuates the stigma that keeps many sufferers from seeking help.
Gutman eventually found an online support group for panic disorder, which opened his eyes to how profoundly it affected other people's lives. While his own panic was mostly tied to his career, he encountered people whose attacks prevented them from driving, flying, or even leaving their homes. For the first time, Gutman gained some perspective on his own struggles and felt less alone in his battle with panic.
The Search for a Cure
Armed with a deeper understanding of panic's origins and impact, Gutman set out to find effective treatments for his condition. He soon discovered there was no shortage of proposed remedies for anxiety - but also no guaranteed cure-all.
Gutman first explored cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), a widely-used approach for treating anxiety disorders. CBT specialist Dr. Michael Telch explained the two main components of this treatment:
- Training patients to recognize panic as a mental distortion rather than an accurate reflection of reality.
- Gradually exposing patients to feared situations to desensitize them and break the cycle of avoidance.
While Gutman appreciated CBT's practical, evidence-based approach, he felt it didn't fully address the root causes of his panic. He was intrigued by emerging research on psychedelic therapies for anxiety and depression. After consulting with psychiatrist Ellen Vora, Gutman decided to explore this unconventional treatment avenue.
Over the next several months, Gutman experimented with various psychedelic substances under professional guidance. He attended an ayahuasca retreat, tried psilocybin mushrooms, and underwent ketamine therapy. While none of these provided an instant cure, Gutman found that psychedelics helped him access and process deep-seated emotions related to his anxiety.
Through his psychedelic experiences, Gutman was able to confront grief and trauma he had long suppressed. He discovered that allowing himself to fully feel difficult emotions - rather than avoiding them - could lead to profound catharsis and healing. This insight would prove valuable in his ongoing management of anxiety.
Practical Strategies for Managing Panic
After years of struggling with panic attacks and months of intensive research and experimentation, Gutman emerged with several key strategies for managing anxiety:
Remember that panic is temporary: The acute phase of a panic attack only lasts 15 seconds to a minute. Reminding yourself of this can help you ride out the wave of terror.
Seek professional help: Don't hesitate to reach out to mental health organizations or therapists. The cost of letting panic go untreated is far greater than the cost of seeking help.
Open up to someone you trust: Sharing your struggles with anxiety can provide immense relief. If you're not comfortable talking to friends or family, consider speaking with a clergy member or joining a support group.
Practice slow breathing: Controlled breathing can help counter the physiological effects of panic. Focus on taking slow, deep breaths to calm your body's stress response.
Allow yourself to cry: Crying is a natural way to release pent-up emotions and anxiety. Don't be afraid to let the tears flow when you need to.
Exercise regularly: Physical activity releases endorphins that can help combat anxiety. Even short bursts of exercise can make a difference.
Gutman emphasizes that managing panic doesn't require complex techniques or expensive treatments. Often, it's the simple acts of understanding your condition, seeking support, and taking care of your physical and emotional needs that make the biggest difference.
Conclusion: Breaking the Silence on Panic
As Gutman reflects on his journey through panic and anxiety, he realizes that one of the most powerful things he can do is simply share his story. By speaking openly about his struggles, he hopes to chip away at the stigma surrounding panic disorders and encourage others to seek help.
Gutman's experience highlights several important truths about panic and anxiety:
These conditions are far more common than many people realize, affecting millions of individuals from all walks of life.
While panic attacks feel terrifying in the moment, they are not actually dangerous and can be managed with the right tools and support.
There is no one-size-fits-all solution for anxiety, but a combination of therapy, medication, lifestyle changes, and self-care strategies can make a significant difference.
Opening up about anxiety and seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness. The relief of sharing the burden often outweighs any perceived stigma.
Understanding the evolutionary origins of anxiety can help sufferers reframe their experiences and feel less alone in their struggles.
Ultimately, Gutman's story is one of hope and resilience. While he may never be entirely free from anxiety, he has learned to coexist with it and prevent it from controlling his life. By sharing his journey, he offers a roadmap for others grappling with panic and a reminder that recovery is possible.
As society becomes more open about mental health issues, it's crucial that panic disorders receive the same attention and understanding as other conditions. Gutman's book serves as a call to action, urging readers to break the silence surrounding panic and create a more supportive environment for those who suffer from it.
In the end, "No Time to Panic" is more than just one man's story. It's a compassionate exploration of a widespread but often misunderstood condition, offering both practical advice and emotional solace to anyone touched by anxiety. Gutman's journey from silent sufferer to outspoken advocate demonstrates the power of confronting our fears and sharing our struggles. In doing so, we not only help ourselves but also light the way for others still trapped in the darkness of panic.