Own Your Armor

Why do well-meaning workplace fixes fail? It's because they don't address the hidden dynamics driving the dysfunction.

1. Communication Happens Above and Below the Table

Workplace communication exists on two levels: above the table and below the table. Above-the-table communication refers to the spoken, professional interactions about tasks, strategies, and goals. These are the visible conversations that drive daily operations. Below-the-table communication, however, includes the unspoken dynamics, such as rivalries, judgments, and hidden patterns affecting team interactions.

Teams often avoid these murky, hidden dynamics as they can feel messy or uncomfortable to confront. But underneath the surface lies the emotional undertow driving much of the dysfunction. Michelle Brody insists that to truly improve workplace cultures, one must address this below-the-table communication. It requires understanding the forces fueling these tensions, such as perceived threats and the defensive behaviors, or "armor," people adopt in response to them.

Failing to explore this layer ensures that behavioral cycles repeat, even when new strategies are implemented. The key lies in identifying how unsaid factors like fear of exclusion or criticism manifest through actions and impact team dynamics.

Examples

• A team struggling with collaboration might outwardly discuss task allocation but avoid addressing underlying insecurities about unequal workload.
• An employee might visibly nod during meetings but privately feel dismissed, leading to passive-aggressive behavior in group projects.
• Teams that focus solely on above-the-table talk without digging deeper will often see recurring conflict resurface.

2. Armor: Our Workplace Defense Mechanism

Workplaces are more than places for earning income; they’re environments where value, appreciation, and belonging matter deeply. When any of these are threatened—whether it’s fear of job loss, exclusion, or undervaluation—people naturally don defensive "armor" to protect themselves.

Armor manifests as fight-or-flight responses during conflict. Some people fight back by becoming combative or overly assertive, while others withdraw into silence or avoidance, taking the flight path. Defensive reactions are rarely about malicious intent but are protective measures against perceived threats in the workplace.

Understanding this instinct can change how workplace behavior is interpreted. Instead of viewing problematic employees as "difficult," Brody suggests seeing their actions as understandable outcomes of their perceived vulnerabilities.

Examples

• An outspoken employee might argue in meetings because they feel their ideas are undervalued.
• A team member avoiding conversations about their work may do so out of fear of harsh criticism.
• Managers micromanaging employees might be acting out of fear of poor team performance reflecting badly on them.

3. The Myth of the “Bad Apple”

When a team struggles, the default response might be to identify a singular culprit—the "bad apple" in the group. This mindset, which Michelle Brody calls the “bad apple fallacy,” assumes that one troublesome individual is responsible for team dysfunction. However, this approach oversimplifies the problem.

Rather than labeling individuals as troublemakers, Brody encourages understanding the "armor" dynamics at play. What appears to be unproductive or adversarial behavior often originates from feelings of fear or insecurity. Addressing team issues means unraveling these cycles of miscommunication rather than simply blaming someone.

This shift in thinking reveals that no one employee is solely responsible for workplace culture. The team’s overall dynamics, combined with individual reactions, create the real problem.

Examples

• A manager’s constant feedback might feel supportive but provoke withdrawal in an employee fearful of criticism.
• A colleague labeled as "lazy" might have disengaged due to feeling undervalued.
• Workplaces that blame individuals risk ignoring deeper, systemic causes of dysfunction.

4. There’s No Such Thing as a Perfect Employee

People tend to see themselves as innocent bystanders when discussing workplace issues. It's common for team members to claim they’re not at fault because they’re just trying to help. However, Brody emphasizes that everyone contributes in some way to the workplace dynamic—intentionally or not.

Even well-meaning actions can unintentionally feed into dysfunction when they contribute to cycles of miscommunication or misunderstanding. It’s essential to focus less on finding flawless "good apples" and more on understanding how each person’s reactions shape team interactions.

This reframing helps shift the conversation from assigning blame to fostering collective responsibility. Teams perform best when everyone acknowledges their potential impact instead of thinking "I’m the exception."

Examples

• Tensions can arise even from a helpful employee if their advice is perceived as criticism.
• Team members dismissing conflicts as "not their problem" might unknowingly fuel division.
• Leaders expecting total accountability from employees without self-reflection may worsen resentment.

5. Workplace Conflict Operates in Cycles

Michelle Brody describes workplace conflict as a “threat/armor cycle.” When one person feels threatened, they respond defensively, which causes another person to also armor up. Over time, this leads to cycles of conflict where everyone’s defensive behavior heightens workplace tension.

Once these patterns become ingrained, they affect not just the people directly involved but the entire team’s morale and productivity. Defensive cycles trap everyone in reaction mode, creating an environment where growth and collaboration stagnate.

Breaking free involves mutual disarmament, where both sides acknowledge their armor and take steps to set it aside. This step fosters more productive interactions and better conflict resolution.

Examples

• A tense exchange between two coworkers can upset the broader team atmosphere.
• Avoidance behavior by some employees may lead others to feel left carrying the workload.
• Teams experiencing unresolved conflict often face higher turnover rates.

6. Taking Personal Responsibility: Owning Your Armor

Fixing workplace problems isn’t about blaming others; it starts with self-reflection. Owning your armor involves recognizing how you react to perceived threats and understanding its impact on those around you. It’s a step-by-step process that requires honesty about personal behaviors.

Brody outlines three steps to owning your armor: identifying workplace triggers, observing your reactions, and owning their impact on others. The process emphasizes personal responsibility for behaviors rather than expecting external changes.

When team members own their actions collectively, they’re better able to collaborate and create meaningful dialogue about improving the workplace environment.

Examples

• Acknowledge moments when criticism leads to overreacting defensively.
• Reflect on avoidance behaviors that isolate coworkers.
• Assess how withdrawing from meetings might leave others unsupported.

7. Leaders’ Defensive Armor Shapes Entire Teams

A leader’s behavior sets the tone for the team. When leaders armor up in response to work stress, their actions ripple through the organization, often amplifying existing dysfunctions. Leaders, however, also wield disproportionate influence in shifting team culture positively.

By openly owning their own defensive behaviors, leaders model vulnerability for employees. This encourages teams to follow suit, breaking the cycle of defensiveness and creating room for open communication and trust.

Without self-awareness, leaders can unintentionally fuel distrust or miscommunication through behaviors like micromanaging or aloofness.

Examples

• When leaders acknowledge stress from deadlines, teams feel less pressure to "read between the lines."
• A manager owning poor conflict resolution can inspire better team transparency.
• Leaders who refuse to acknowledge personal biases often face higher resistance to change.

8. Unarmored Communication Drives Healthy Teams

Unarmored communication happens when people set aside their defenses and speak from their core selves. Brody highlights this as essential for building healthy workplace interactions. It requires focusing more on how one’s own actions affect others, rather than only offering criticism.

When one team member becomes unarmored, they create a ripple effect, signaling to others that vulnerability is safe. Investing in structured team exercises or workshops can help foster this openness by providing controlled environments for everyone to own their armor simultaneously.

Strong teams require members to shift from adversarial interactions to constructive collaboration, which can only happen without defensive barriers.

Examples

• A worker owning their oversights in a meeting can inspire others to share obstacles.
• Unarmored project discussions focus on solutions rather than blame.
• Team workshops create space for constructive feedback while encouraging honesty.

9. A Low-Threat Environment Drives High Performance

In high-threat work environments, employees prioritize self-protection over openness. By reducing perceived threats, such as unclear goals or reactive leadership, workplaces create the safety necessary for people to operate without armor.

Without defensive obstacles, team communication improves, collaboration thrives, and projects benefit from everyone’s full participation. Creating shared goals and setting expectations collaboratively fosters this kind of environment.

Ultimately, workplaces that prioritize trust, transparency, and shared purpose see the strongest long-term outcomes.

Examples

• Clearly communicated job roles lead to less territorial disputes among teams.
• Leaders sharing goals openly encourage alignment on priorities.
• Teams with psychological safety report higher performance and reduced burnout.

Takeaways

1. Reflect on your own defensive triggers and understand how your reactions impact others.
2. Foster mutual vulnerability by modeling unarmored communication in difficult conversations.
3. Create environments with clear goals, open dialogue, and collaborative accountability to reduce workplace tensions.