Power Questions

An unasked question holds no power – the right question, however, can spark connection, insight, and transformation.

1. The Power of Asking, "What Would You Like to Know?"

Asking open-ended questions invites deeper engagement and understanding. Instead of dominating conversations or presenting everything at once, a thoughtful question can establish a mutual exchange.

In the example of the young partner at a telecommunications meeting, his eagerness to impress led him to deliver an overwhelming monologue about his firm’s services. However, his senior partner handled the same query differently by asking the client, "What would you like to know about us?" This small adjustment shifted the conversation from a one-sided presentation to a meaningful dialogue where the client felt heard.

Rich DeVos’s lunch story further highlights how asking about someone’s journey can unlock invaluable experiences. An innocuous question, "How did you get started?" opened the door to DeVos sharing the inspiring beginnings of the Amway empire, enriching the understanding and connection between both individuals.

Finally, a fundraiser-turned-donor query illustrated how humility and curiosity can rescue conversations. After directly misjudging a donor’s passion, the solicitor restarted the discussion with an open-ended question, revealing the donor’s true interests in theater over engineering.

Examples

• A junior partner turns a mundane question into dialogue by asking, "What would you like to know?"
• Rich DeVos shares his entrepreneurial story when prompted by genuine curiosity.
• A fundraiser rescues a failed pitch by asking about the donor's true passion.

2. Know the Problem You’re Solving

Before presenting solutions, it’s important to confirm whether the problem you’re addressing truly exists. Without this alignment, even the best solutions may fall flat.

Dean Kamen’s development of the Segway serves as a cautionary tale. Despite its innovation, the Segway struggled to find a market because it didn’t address a pressing problem for buyers. Kamen could have avoided this by asking, “What do our potential customers need most?” during development.

Similarly, Rick Haber’s desire to expand his hospital network was called into question when someone asked him, “How does this advance your mission statement?” This simple query led to a reevaluation of whether the expansion aligned with core goals.

In another instance, author Andrew Sobel asked Tom Sewell, a minister facing a tough career decision, “What do you feel is the right decision for you?” The query made Sewell pause and reflect on what truly mattered, guiding him to choose the path that resonated most with his values.

Examples

• The Segway failed due to a lack of alignment with buyers' needs.
• Rick Haber reconsidered a hospital acquisition after asking about mission alignment.
• Tom Sewell made a life-altering decision with an introspective question.

3. Start with “Why?”

Questions that dig into purpose and intent often lead to meaningful revelations. Posing "why" questions can reconnect people with their core motivations or goals.

A group of bankers rediscovered their passion for client service when asked, “Why do you do what you do?” This question helped them redefine their mission and move away from bureaucracy toward meaningful work.

In a career workshop, a young man realized his life ambitions were misaligned when tasked with writing his own obituary. This reflective exercise led him to pursue a career in entrepreneurship instead of medicine, reconnecting with his true dreams.

Peter Drucker’s classic five reflective questions, including “What do I want to achieve in life?” and “What values do I hold dear?” inspire both individuals and organizations to realign their actions with their mission.

Examples

• Bankers reconnect with their core purpose through the simple "Why?"
• A young man’s obituary exercise reshapes his life direction.
• Drucker’s reflective questions guide both personal growth and strategy.

4. Make Space for Others in Conversations

Listening actively and giving others space to share strengthens relationships. Being the star of every conversation may feel satisfying but tends to hinder connection.

During a lunch with a longtime client, a bank VP named Margaret talked only about her own achievements and experiences. By failing to ask questions like, “What challenges can we help you with?” she missed the chance to understand her client’s needs.

By contrast, leaders who ask thoughtful questions, like “What’s important to you?” or “What do you need?” demonstrate empathy and understanding. This approach builds trust and often unearths surprising insights.

Another example reveals how asking about someone’s passions can redirect relationships. The shift from talking to listening often leads to deeper bonds, whether it's clients, partners, or colleagues.

Examples

• A bank VP misses a client’s needs by dominating the conversation.
• Open-ended questions build trust in personal and professional exchanges.
• Redirecting the conversation to someone else’s interests creates stronger bonds.

5. Use Questions to Refocus Faltering Meetings

Meetings often stall not because of a lack of discussion but due to missing direction. The right clarifying question can quickly bring focus to what matters.

In one story, a meeting derailed by endless presentations was revived by a single query: “What have we decided today?” This simple question prompted action and refocused the group’s purpose.

Another leader gained clarity on vision and planning by asking her team, “What do we want to learn from today’s meeting?” This created a constructive environment aimed at collaboration rather than confusion.

These questions, rather than allowing discussions to meander, can be inserted strategically to clear up misunderstandings and redirect the team toward concrete results.

Examples

• A meeting gains purpose after someone asks, “What have we decided today?”
• A leader reignites focus with, "What do we want to learn today?"
• Open-ended queries bring clarity to group discussions.

6. Encourage Reflection for Personal Growth

Questions that prompt people to reflect encourage growth and clarity. Steering conversations inward can often lead to meaningful breakthroughs.

Tom Sewell, the minister, arrived at clarity through a personal question asking about his values. The process of introspection brought him to the realization he needed.

Similarly, Drucker’s introspective questions equip people to gain better control over their personal and professional lives.

Finally, exercises like the obituary-writing workshop force individuals to consider what they want their legacy to be, often leading to major life shifts guided by reflection.

Examples

• Tom Sewell aligns life decisions with values through introspection.
• Peter Drucker’s exercises balance personal mission and action.
• Obituary writing uncovers deeper goals and life meaning.

7. Avoid Assumptions; Embrace Curiosity

Rushing into conversations with assumptions is a missed opportunity for understanding. Curiosity leads to genuine relationships and richer interactions.

The fundraiser learned this when he failed to recognize the donor’s actual interest area, realizing open questions were much more effective.

By approaching conversations without bias and asking about what matters most to others, we can avoid missteps and foster better communication.

Examples

• A fundraiser failed by making assumptions.
• Pausing to ask deeper questions revealed true alignment.
• Curious conversations open unexpected paths forward.

8. Lead by Asking, Not Directing

Great leaders inspire by guiding with questions rather than providing all the answers. This approach empowers others and enables better decisions.

Claire, the distracted CEO, revamped her job focus when a colleague asked what work brought her joy. This led to a change in responsibilities, aligning her role with what she loved.

Strategic questions from leaders aren’t just about finding solutions but helping their team discover their potential.

Examples

• Claire reimagines her role when prompted by a reflective query.
• Leaders empower teams by guiding discussion.
• Strategic questioning inspires action and accountability.

9. Accounting for Values in Decision-Making

Decision-making thrives when values and purpose take center stage. Sometimes a thoughtful question is all it takes to realign actions with principles.

Rick Haber realized that his expansion plan was at odds with his organization’s values, thanks to strategic inquiry.

Questions about values force reflection, introducing long-term clarity into what can otherwise be impulsive choices.

Examples

• Rick Haber avoids an ill-fated acquisition by auditing values.
• Strategic inquiry balances impulse with integrity.
• Clear values guide companies and individuals alike.

Takeaways

1. Replace rushed monologues with open-ended questions to create room for dialogue.
2. Regularly revisit purpose and values through introspection to ensure alignment in actions.
3. Use well-timed questions to change the course of unproductive meetings or conversations.