Power Relationships

“What defines a successful career or fulfilling life lies not in what you know, but in the quality of the relationships you build.”

1. Great Relationships Begin with Meaningful Conversations and Courage to Ask

Building impactful relationships starts with conversations that matter. Instead of overly formal or rehearsed interactions, genuine dialogue fosters understanding. When Bill Jenkins shifted from delivering PowerPoint-heavy meetings to informal discussions over lunch, he uncovered his client’s aspirations, forming a deeper bond.

Similarly, the willingness to ask a bold question can open extraordinary doors. One of the authors directly called J.C. Penney, whose autobiography he admired, inviting him to speak at a local event. This candid approach not only secured Penney’s presence but also established a long-lasting mentor-student relationship.

By focusing on connecting through words and courageously initiating opportunities, you set the stage for relationships that can scale impressive heights.

Examples

• Bill Jenkins’ informal talks helped his client gain clarity, securing loyalty.
• A direct call to J.C. Penney led to mentorship and friendship.
• Open conversations reveal shared interests and ambitions, strengthening trust.

2. Build Your Network Early with People You Like and Trust

A small, committed circle is far more impactful than an expansive contact list. Strong relationships formed early in your career often yield the most meaningful outcomes over time. Petri Hawkins-Byrd’s long-standing relationship with Judge Judy led to his role on her hit TV show years later.

Quantity isn’t king in networking; quality matters most. Focus on people whose personalities and values align with yours rather than just chasing power or position. A diverse network – with complementary skills and contrasting traits – cultivates growth. Apple’s co-founders, Steve Jobs and Steve Wozniak, exemplify how different strengths can fuel incredible success.

Start building your network before you need it, prioritizing mutual respect and shared growth.

Examples

• Petri Hawkins-Byrd’s early ties with Judge Judy created career opportunities.
• Steve Jobs and Steve Wozniak’s contrasting skills shaped Apple’s rise.
• Early connection with trusted allies fosters long-term success.

3. Belief and Generosity Fuel Strong Bonds

Believing in someone and supporting their goals strengthens connections. Miss Adelaide Breckenridge’s unwavering encouragement helped Pulitzer-winning sportswriter Walter Wellesley Smith stay dedicated to his craft, propelling his success.

Supporting others’ agendas is another pillar of relationship building. Richard Major, a top-earning financial advisor, constantly aligns with his clients’ goals, knowing their success is linked to his. Acts of kindness – however small – also leave lasting impressions. Checking on a colleague’s workload or offering assistance can spark deeply loyal relationships.

Give support, encouragement, and belief. These acts often return greater rewards than you could anticipate.

Examples

• A teacher’s belief inspired Walter Wellesley Smith to achieve greatness.
• Richard Major prioritizes his clients’ growth, creating lasting trust.
• Small acts of kindness can seed powerful professional connections.

4. Relationships Require Effort, Integrity, and Empathy

Shortcutting the process doesn’t lead to strong bonds. Relationships thrive on effort and a foundation of trust. When a client rushed into a partnership, disregarding protocol, the author knew a proper connection wasn’t possible.

Integrity also plays a key role. Returning tainted funds during a San Diego project upheld the team’s moral compass, maintaining credibility. Lastly, empathy ensures others feel valued. A CEO lost a client after insulting an employee’s efforts by eating their lunch.

Relationships built on respect, reliability, and empathy pave the way for mutual growth.

Examples

• The author’s refusal to cut corners emphasized respect during onboarding.
• Team integrity prevailed when they returned fraudulent money.
• Lack of empathy ended a banker’s relationship with a new CFO.

5. Trust and Novel Experiences Deepen Bonds

Trust transforms relationships. Treat others with sincerity, even in awkward situations. A Paris waiter trusted a client who’d forgotten his wallet, leading to goodwill. Contrastingly, mistrust by New York restaurant owners harmed their reputation.

Keeping connections exciting also sustains interest. Fresh routines, whether in dating or professional meetings, strengthen bonds. Avoid repetitive interactions by meeting clients in diverse, engaging setups. New experiences bring deeper intimacy and memorable moments.

Keep relationships dynamic and trust-filled to inspire enduring loyalty.

Examples

• A waiter solved a wallet issue calmly, displaying trust.
• Repetitive dinners replaced with creative outings increase intimacy.
• Trustful gestures strengthen client-to-business partnerships.

6. Questions Connect; Bad First Impressions Can Improve

Asking thoughtful questions is often more impactful than giving grand answers. Personal, future-focused questions at a Q&A intrigued a CEO, establishing lasting ties.

Even a rocky start to a relationship can transform into something incredible. When Yale President A. Bartlett Giamatti built rapport over shared interests, it overcame initial resistance to a fundraising request.

Meaningful questions and shared passions reduce barriers to strong connections.

Examples

• Personal, meaningful Qs won the favor of a conference CEO.
• Egocentric answers pale in comparison to authentic curiosity.
• Yale’s President turned a rejection into collaboration via shared history.

7. Treat Potential Clients Like Valued Partners

Nurture potential relationships with attention and respect. Mary Ellen Rodgers of Deloitte treated prospective clients as though they were longstanding ones—showcasing enthusiasm, sharing ideas, and creating rapport. Her method established immense trust, leading to flourishing partnerships.

Meanwhile, retaining clients hinges on aligning with their growth plans. Learn their priorities, as Ellen from a large public accounting firm does during regular meetings, demonstrating care for their success. Sticking to this approach breeds loyalty and retention.

Act like an unconditional ally to earn favor and inspire partnerships.

Examples

• Mary Ellen Rodgers spent years building future contracts through rapport.
• Ellen’s initiative to foster connection with top execs led to repeat business.
• Aligning corporate agendas with personal goals wins lasting goodwill.

8. Attraction Lies in Mystery, Enthusiasm, and Vulnerability

Curiosity sustains relationships. Reveal just enough to intrigue, as one author did with a client contemplating a new business model. This candid admission won over the client’s trust.

Enthusiasm, as exhibited by Harlem Globetrotters’ Mannie Jackson, builds attraction. His optimism turned challenges into triumphs, fostering lifelong opportunities. Vulnerability, as in Nixon’s heartfelt Checkers speech, can repair or fortify bonds.

Channel energy, sincerity, and openness in your interactions to inspire connection.

Examples

• Client curiosity surged after cautious truths revealed possible pitfalls.
• Mannie Jackson’s energy fueled acceptance and admiration.
• Nixon’s emotional transparency swayed public trust.

9. Truthful Praise Builds Lasting Value

Praise must be sincere, timely, and balanced with constructive truth. Olympian Johann Olav Koss excelled with a mentor who balanced encouragement and critique. Provide thoughtful insight while recognizing shared context for critiques to stick.

Don’t wait too long to express gratitude or respect. One author regretted not honoring his father verbally before his passing. Compliments exchanged early in relationships help build bonds and cultivate enduring loyalty.

Timely, heartfelt words uplift individuals and cement relationships.

Examples

• Praise mixed with feedback guided Koss to record-breaking achievements.
• Waiting to thank loved ones can risk missed opportunities.
• Widespread admiration grows through consistent praise-sharing.

Takeaways

1. Craft a “relationship wish list” of people you admire with keen skills or potential, then brainstorm ways to support them now.
2. Emphasize relationship-building gestures like showing empathy, encouraging versatility in meetings, or offering trust.
3. Ask questions that engage deeper thinking or commonalities to yield authentic connections at work or beyond.