The Art of Negotiation

“When we negotiate thoughtfully and with flexibility, we create opportunities even in the face of obstacles.”

1. Preparation Is Key, but Flexibility Is Essential

Preparing a plan before negotiations can give you the confidence to approach discussions strategically, but sticking rigidly to that plan can backfire. A good plan identifies not only your ideal outcome but also multiple acceptable alternatives. By having baselines in addition to a stretch goal, you’re better equipped for setbacks.

For instance, imagine a salary negotiation where you aim for $120,000 a year but are prepared to accept $100,000 plus additional perks if your initial pitch falls through. This flexibility prevents you from stumbling if your stretch goal is denied. Instead of being derailed, you can adjust seamlessly.

A compelling story of preparation and flexibility comes from a 1930s military patrol lost in the Swiss Alps. The group survived by relying on a map in their possession, even though it was the wrong map. Their confidence in having a plan, albeit imperfect, kept them focused and led them to safety. The lesson? It’s better to have some plan rather than none.

Examples

• Salary negotiations where baselines ensure acceptable outcomes
• The lost military patrol using an inaccurate map to regain focus and direction
• Falling back on stock options when cash negotiations fail

2. Timing and Plan B Matter

Strategizing when and where to negotiate can make all the difference. Timing, preparation, and a fallback option help you enter negotiations confidently and with foresight. Before negotiating, assess the best moment to pitch your offer to maximize leverage.

Consider selling ski gear. Negotiating in spring, when interest is minimal, is likely to yield worse results than in fall when demand peaks. Similarly, a small business owner who failed to buy a rival company turned the tables by later selling his own business instead, earning more than he initially hoped. Plan B saved him from a dead end.

Flexibility isn't just smart—it's necessary. Life rarely unfolds exactly as planned. A backup plan opens up alternative opportunities, even if your original goal falls through.

Examples

• Timing ski equipment sales for winter interest
• Farmers’ market negotiations succeeding over supermarket haggling
• A business owner selling his company as Plan B after failing to buy his rival

3. Emotional and Mental Readiness Shapes Outcomes

Being emotionally composed can make or break a negotiation. Even professional negotiators experience nerves but train themselves to stay alert, calm, and proactive. Emotional balance allows you to navigate tension or surprises adeptly.

Take surgeons as an example. They remain calm and confident during high-stakes operations yet stay alert to potential complications. Similarly, negotiators should avoid falling into autopilot by reading not only words but body language and tone.

Recognizing your triggers is another step toward emotional control. If traffic stress drains your energy before a meeting, for instance, give yourself extra time to avoid arriving frazzled. Emotional awareness can dramatically shift the dynamic in your favor.

Examples

• Surgeons maintaining focus during operations
• Reading negotiation partners’ body language and tone
• Avoiding personal triggers like traffic-related stress

4. Improvisation Is a Powerful Tool

Improvisation helps you handle the unexpected with grace. Think like an actor or jazz musician—respond flexibly, adapt to the situation, and build on what’s presented. Saying “no” too quickly can stifle opportunities.

Improvisational actors live by the “never say no” principle. For example, when one actor says, “How’s Australia?” good improvisers run with it, even if they were planning to talk about something else. Similarly, jazz musicians turn unscripted interactions into harmonious masterpieces by listening and adapting.

Negotiations work the same way. Remaining open to new directions and adjusting when things stray from your map, you can discover valuable opportunities. Even imperfect solutions can advance discussions far more than rigid refusals.

Examples

• Jazz musicians adapting melodies together spontaneously
• An actor saying “yes” to a co-star’s unexpected dialogue pivot
• Negotiators adjusting mid-discussion based on their partner’s cues

5. Learn From Past Experience

Experience sharpens decision-making in negotiations. Much like elite chess players who predict opponents’ moves based on similar past games, negotiators rely on prior knowledge to anticipate outcomes and refine strategies.

In a psychological experiment, pro chess players could only outperform amateurs when replicating configurations from real games as opposed to arbitrary placements. This shows that expertise grows with familiarity and real-world experience.

Negotiation is no different. While past victories can provide clarity, each new situation requires sharp observational skills. Supplement practical knowledge by attending workshops, studying negotiation techniques, or observing others’ approaches.

Examples

• Chess champions succeeding by predicting familiar scenarios
• Workshops offering hands-on negotiation insights
• Learning tactics through observation of expert negotiators

6. First Impressions Lay the Groundwork

The first moments at the negotiation table are pivotal for establishing rapport and tone. Using inclusive language like “let’s solve this together” highlights shared goals and strengthens collaboration.

Confident body language, such as standing tall and avoiding crossed arms, bolsters both your mood and how others see you. If an offer is unworkable, the yes-no-yes approach can help maintain a positive dialogue. For instance, a working mom can decline weekend assignments (“no”) while proposing midweek perks to accommodate work-life balance (“yes”).

By making a positive impression early, you increase your chances of steering negotiations harmoniously toward agreement.

Examples

• Inclusive language framing negotiation as teamwork
• Using confident posture to set a positive tone
• Offering alternatives using the yes-no-yes strategy

7. Creativity Can Solve Stubborn Problems

Some problems seem unsolvable until you take a fresh perspective. Creativity isn’t just desirable—it’s a lifeline. It allows negotiators to see untapped options and salvage deals that appear doomed.

For instance, author William Manchester salvaged efforts with his lengthy FDR biography by splitting it into two volumes when one publisher rejected it. What initially seemed like rejection turned into lasting success due to an innovative approach.

Seeking input from a neutral third party can also offer clarity. Psychological distance often helps others spot solutions you might overlook in the heat of negotiation.

Examples

• Splitting a dense biography into two successful volumes
• A basketball player preferring longer contract security over a higher salary
• Asking neutral colleagues for out-of-the-box suggestions

8. Persuasion and Closing the Deal

Closing negotiations successfully requires integrity and strategy. Appealing to people’s loss aversion is more effective than focusing solely on gains. For example, pointing out client losses without action can compel a manager to approve new projects.

Keep options limited to avoid overwhelming decision-makers. Research shows offering fewer choices, like supermarket jam samples, leads to higher decision rates.

Maintaining politeness and honesty can also ensure long-term partnerships. Build trust now to make future negotiations smoother.

Examples

• Highlighting potential losses to sway decision-making
• Simplifying offers to a manageable number of options
• Building trust through honesty and politeness

9. Let Personal Values Guide You

Ethics matter in negotiation. Whether buying or selling, asking yourself how you’d want to be treated if roles were reversed can serve as a moral compass.

For example, if you find out a property’s value is higher than the seller realizes, you can choose fairness over exploitation. Similarly, being transparent about a planned highway project benefits buyers as much as integrity benefits your reputation.

The golden rule matters in negotiation just as it does in life.

Examples

• Offering fair compensation to an elderly seller
• Disclosing known issues with property or merchandise
• Following the golden rule to build long-term respect

Takeaways

1. Create a plan before your next negotiation, but include flexible backup options.
2. Practice staying composed emotionally and mentally with techniques like meditation or deep breathing.
3. Explore improvisation exercises, whether acting or music-based, to improve adaptability under pressure.