The Love Prescription Summary

“What makes love last? It’s not just a feeling but a series of actions you consciously choose daily.”

1. Embrace Everyday Connections

Building a strong relationship doesn’t require grand romantic gestures, but instead small, everyday connections. These moments are the "bids for connection" your partner makes, such as sharing an interesting thought or a subtle sigh. Recognizing these as invitations for engagement is essential to fostering closeness.

Failures in recognizing these bids can create emotional distance. For instance, ignoring a partner when they seek your attention may lead them to feel undervalued. Responding positively and being present shows that you care, nurturing trust and emotional intimacy even in the busiest times.

Turning toward your partner's bids can be as simple as showing interest in a funny meme they share or asking why they seem upset. Relationships thrive on this practice, as these tiny moments accumulate into a solid foundation for lasting love.

Examples

• Respond warmly to a partner saying, “Look at this cute cat video!” by engaging in the moment.
• Acknowledge a sigh with, “You sound stressed. Want to talk?”
• Join in their excitement when they share good news, like a promotion at work.

2. Keep Asking Questions

Curiosity shouldn’t fade with time in a relationship. To keep the spark alive, continue asking meaningful, open-ended questions. Just like in the beginning, showing genuine interest in your partner's thoughts, dreams, and ideas helps maintain emotional growth.

Over the years, couples often fall into routines and assume they know everything about each other. However, people grow and change. Asking questions about current aspirations, memories, or ideas can reveal new sides to even the most familiar person.

Questions don’t have to be heavy. Enjoy fun, random ones as well—for example, dreaming up your ideal shared adventure. These ongoing conversations deepen understanding and break the monotony of daily life.

Examples

• Ask, “If you could redesign our home, what would you prioritize?”
• Start a conversation with, “What’s something you’ve been wanting but haven’t mentioned?”
• During a walk, ask, “Where do you see us living in five years?”

3. Show Constant Gratitude

Thanking your partner for their efforts, big or small, creates a powerful positive shift in your relationship. Expressing gratitude reaffirms that their contributions, even seemingly routine ones, do not go unnoticed.

Couples like Joel and David found that a simple “thank you” can do wonders. David appreciated Joel acknowledging his small kindness of making coffee. The moment broke the cycle of negativity and allowed them to rediscover appreciation for each other.

Get into the routine of mentally noting your partner’s efforts. Verbalizing these observations not only strengthens the bond but redirects focus from flaws to their strengths, which creates a nurturing environment for love to grow.

Examples

• Say, “Thanks for taking the trash out; it really helps me relax tonight.”
• Recognize when your partner picks up groceries without being asked by thanking them.
• Appreciate their patience during a stressful conversation: “Thanks for really listening just now.”

4. Compliment Who They Are

Giving compliments isn’t just about appearances or quick pleasantries—it’s about recognizing the deeper traits that make your partner unique. Acknowledge their character in a heartfelt way to fuel connection.

Instead of general or surface-level compliments, focus on their personality and values. Celebrate their creativity, compassion, or integrity. This practice reminds them that they’re cherished for their true selves, not just their actions or looks.

These kinds of affirmations have a lasting emotional impact. With practice, you will likely find yourself noticing and celebrating these qualities more often, creating a culture of positivity in the relationship.

Examples

• Say, “I love how thoughtful you are; it makes everyone around you feel special.”
• Remind them, “Your sense of humor brightens my day every time.”
• Write a note expressing admiration for their perseverance in a difficult situation.

5. Share What You Need

Many conflicts arise when partners expect each other to intuitively understand needs. Instead, clearly and respectfully expressing what you need sets the stage for open dialogue and mutual support.

People often avoid sharing their needs out of fear of being judged or dismissed. Others resort to subtle hints, which can lead to misunderstandings. Learning a straightforward communication style builds trust and reduces resentment.

Describe the situation, explain how it makes you feel, and then openly state your need. This directness avoids blame and invites cooperation, fostering a healthier and more collaborative relationship dynamic.

Examples

• Instead of saying, “You never help around the house,” say, “When the kitchen gets messy, I feel stressed. Can you wash the dishes tonight?”
• Let your partner know, “I’ve had a rough day. A hug would really help right now.”
• When overwhelmed, say, “I’m feeling overloaded. Could we spend some quiet time together tonight?”

6. Cultivate Physical Touch

Routine physical contact strengthens emotional bonds through an oxytocin release, fondly known as the “love hormone.” From hugs to simple touches, physical gestures communicate warmth and affection wordlessly.

Physicality also varies culturally and personally. While some partners may prefer frequent contact like Parisian couples observed in studies, others might approach touch more sparingly. Talk about comfort levels to ensure mutual enjoyment.

Even minor gestures—like touching hands while passing a plate at the dinner table—can convey warmth and connection. Regular physical touch should become part of the everyday rhythm of your relationship.

Examples

• Hold your partner’s hand while watching TV or walking together.
• Hug for 20 seconds to let oxytocin work its magic.
• Share non-verbal affection like a quick back rub or resting your head on their shoulder.

7. Prioritize Date Nights

Busy schedules and life’s demands easily shift focus away from time together. This is why regular date nights serve as a relationship reset button to connect, laugh, and enjoy one another.

You don't need expensive restaurants or extravagant plans. Simple activities—like cooking a meal together or chatting by a campfire—can be just as enjoyable. All that matters is setting aside intentional time free of distractions.

By prioritizing fun, couples reignite the spark that first brought them together. No matter how stressed or busy life feels, shared moments of quality time help maintain a strong, joyful emotional bond.

Examples

• Have a backyard picnic with blankets and snacks under the stars.
• Take a leisurely stroll and grab coffee from a local shop.
• Create a game night for just the two of you using a deck of cards or board games.

8. Recognize the Power of Small Acts

It’s often the little things, rather than large gestures, that sustain love over time. Simple moments—like checking in with your partner or offering to share a small chore—carry significant weight.

These small acts don’t take much time but show ongoing care and attention. When done consistently, they signal your commitment and strengthen the relationship foundation, even during demanding or stressful periods.

While an anniversary celebration is memorable, the habit of these minor everyday gestures tends to hold couples together longer by reinforcing daily intimacy and support.

Examples

• Bring your partner their morning coffee just the way they like it.
• Text a quick “Thinking about you!” during a busy workday.
• Take over a chore they dislike without being prompted.

9. Actively Choose Love Each Day

Love isn’t a static feeling; it thrives in the daily choices you make. Every interaction with your partner presents an opportunity to nurture or neglect the relationship.

Whether through kind words, being present, or tiny helpful acts, regularly choosing to love builds trust and deepens the bond. These decisions reflect commitment and create stability even during challenging periods.

For relationships to truly thrive, couples should adopt a mindset of conscious love—actively seeking ways to support, understand, and uplift one another, regardless of external stressors.

Examples

• Offer support when your partner deals with a difficult situation rather than withdrawing.
• Take a moment to look them in the eye and say, “I love you,” genuinely.
• Prioritize spending time together over scrolling on your phone before bed.

Takeaways

1. Spend 10 uninterrupted minutes daily checking in with your partner and discussing their needs or feelings.
2. Commit to planning regular date nights, even if it’s something simple, and block the time for each other.
3. Practice gratitude by thanking your partner for three things they do each day—no matter how small.