The Proximity Principle

Seventy percent of people are unhappy with their jobs – but that doesn’t have to include you. The secret? Surround yourself with the right people and go to the right places.

1. Understanding The Proximity Principle

The proximity principle is simple: to do what you love, you need to be around those who are already doing it and in places where it’s happening. Ken Coleman asserts there’s no shortcut to success, but applying this principle allows anyone, at any stage in their career, to make meaningful progress toward their dream job.

To illustrate, Coleman shares his personal journey. Stuck in a dead-end career, he realized that no one but himself could change his circumstances. He reached out to a friend at a leadership training company and offered to help with new podcasting projects. Using a repurposed broom closet as a recording studio, this small step helped Coleman gain crucial hands-on experience as he started climbing toward his broadcasting goals.

This principle doesn’t demand perfection or vast resources—it requires effort and dedication. Taking a humble approach, such as working without pay initially or experimenting in less-than-ideal conditions, sets the stage for growth. It’s about initiating purposeful action.

Examples

• Coleman started in a broom closet studio with no air conditioning but used the opportunity to build skills.
• A job seeker found local movie production jobs instead of moving to Hollywood.
• Entrepreneurs gain industry knowledge by immersing themselves in relevant communities.

2. Pride and Fear Hold You Back

Pride and fear often prevent people from pursuing their dreams. Pride arises when people feel they can or should go it alone, viewing help as a sign of weakness. On the other hand, fear convinces people to avoid risks, thinking “What if I fail?”

Coleman emphasizes that pride builds unnecessary walls. Steve Jobs, for example, didn’t succeed by working in isolation. He often sought help and advice, saying, “All you have to do is ask.” For many, though, asking for assistance feels like admitting inadequacy.

Fear is equally limiting and often irrational. Consider inventors like Edison: they didn’t shy away from failed experiments, as Edison considered each misstep another step closer to the lightbulb. Reframing failure as a learning experience provides the courage to act.

Examples

• Steve Jobs asked Hewlett-Packard's co-founder for parts as a teenager to build a school project.
• Thomas Edison’s rejected prototypes ultimately led to market-changing success.
• Athletes like Wayne Gretzky encourage the mindset of taking risks (“You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take”).

3. Asking for a Chance, Not a Favor

When connecting with others in your desired field, remember: people prefer giving chances over granting favors. A favor requires effort without immediate benefit, but encouraging someone to help you gain industry experience is mutually rewarding.

Coleman shares the story of his friend Joy, a publisher. She’s inundated with messages from people looking for handouts. When approached by individuals eager to learn, she’s much more likely to meet with them. This highlights the importance of showing genuine passion.

Making yourself useful also goes a long way. One individual interested in brewing volunteered at a brewery without pay in exchange for learning the trade. His efforts didn’t just gain him knowledge; they built valuable relationships in his desired industry.

Examples

• Joy is willing to help passionate individuals but shuts out opportunists only looking for favors.
• A brewing enthusiast traded free labor for beer-brewing education.
• Coleman offered to assist a podcasting company without requiring immediate compensation.

4. Learn by Following the Masters

To grow in any career, it’s essential to seek out and learn from industry professionals. Professionals aren’t only skilled but also experienced – typically with more than a decade of expertise to share.

Take Kobe Bryant, one of basketball’s greatest players. Early in his career, he obsessively studied film footage of others, pulling hesitation moves from Oscar Robertson and quick-shooting tactics from Jerry West. His unique style came from blending lessons taken from multiple NBA legends.

It’s not about copying but developing your own approach. Leonardo DiCaprio, for instance, emulates Paul Newman’s timing yet reinterprets it with his own flair. Observing professionals helps individuals create original methods and new perspectives.

Examples

• Kobe Bryant studied basketball legends to integrate diverse techniques into his gameplay.
• DiCaprio learned from the classic method of Paul Newman but tailored it to fit his own acting style.
• Writers like T.S. Eliot believed success comes from adapting the techniques of previous masters.

5. Success Is a Gradual Process

Pursuing your dream career takes patience. Every established professional once started with small, unglamorous roles that prepared them to handle more advanced responsibilities in their field.

Katie Couric, a broadcasting giant, wasn’t handed her success. She began as a desk assistant at ABC and climbed slowly, one role at a time. Jumping ahead too quickly would not have guaranteed her eventual role as a solo anchor for CBS Evening News.

Ken Coleman reminds readers that meaningful growth takes time. Early struggles teach vital lessons. Relying on shortcuts sets people up for failure, similar to climbers bypassing the acclimation stage before Everest. Success is most rewarding when earned step by step.

Examples

• Katie Couric spent decades climbing the broadcasting ladder.
• Ken Coleman built his broadcasting resume by covering local high school games to mere handfuls of listeners.
• Athletes who train daily build endurance over years, not weeks.

6. Start Where You Are

Many people believe finding their dream job means relocating somewhere wildly different. Coleman dispels this myth with the “law of the zip code”: opportunities often exist in your area if you actively seek them.

Brad, a podcast caller, thought pursuing work in film required uprooting his life and moving to Los Angeles. After researching nearby options, he discovered over 100 production studios in his city. He landed a job eight weeks later and began working toward his dream in his hometown.

The takeaway? Everything you need to begin a new career is likely available in your immediate surroundings. Researching local opportunities is often the first actionable step.

Examples

• Brad landed a film job locally instead of relocating.
• Coleman launched his career by volunteering near home.
• Katie Couric climbed the news ladder without changing industries excessively.

7. Weak Social Ties Offer Strong Opportunities

Ken Coleman brings up research by Mark Granovetter, who found that career opportunities often come through weak social ties (acquaintances) rather than close personal contacts.

Our inner circles are limited in scope. In contrast, outer circles, like former coworkers or acquaintances at your local gym, present a larger pool for career networking. When looking for leads, acquaintances are more likely to have connections in sectors you’re unfamiliar with.

Strategic networking helps expand opportunity. Reaching out, whether by calling someone or catching up over coffee, creates possibilities. Focusing on building these ties unlocks new opportunities.

Examples

• Sociologist Mark Granovetter found distant connections increase job opportunities by 58%.
• Someone in your sports club could offer access to unexpected industries.
• Ken Coleman advises breaking circles into buckets like schoolmates and coworkers.

8. Dedication Always Wins Respect

Showing dedication to your field earns people’s respect and builds connections. Leaders appreciate effort and are more inclined to mentor individuals committed to growth.

For example, aspiring brewers who volunteered without pay ended up impressing their mentors and securing robust career opportunities afterward. Their sacrifice showed enthusiasm. Dedication isn’t just about working hard but also about showing intentional focus.

Effort sustains relationships, creates positive impressions, and keeps doors open. Dedication also eliminates entitlement, ensuring people focus on pursuing genuine improvement rather than treating connections purely as stepping stones.

Examples

• Aspiring brewers volunteered, impressing mentors and securing their future.
• Coleman pursued unglamorous broadcasting tasks passionately, earning industry trust.
• Potential employers value intentionality before offering advancement.

9. Learn to Reframe Challenges as Opportunities

Coleman encourages people to view setbacks as stepping stones. Doing so means reframing challenges mentally. Failed projects or interviews are excellent teachers, not barriers.

Leonardo Da Vinci’s sketches revealed failed experiments that built future masterpieces. Similarly, successful entrepreneurs often fail with early startups, learning how to improve. Everyone fails—but the winners view failure constructively.

Handling challenges with a proactive approach showcases endurance. Staying adaptive builds confidence, ultimately cutting long-term delays by creating momentum.

Examples

• Artists like Da Vinci used forgotten failures as stepping blocks.
• Tech entrepreneurs often face initial project flops yet build valuable growth pathways.
• Failure, when reframed, pushes people toward innovation creatively.

Takeaways

1. Surround yourself with people actively working in roles you admire; offer to assist them to learn the ropes.
2. Reframe failure as part of success instead of avoiding mistakes. Start small but steady when you face challenges.
3. Actively reach out to acquaintances by rekindling loose connections. A brief coffee chat could create life-changing opportunities.