Untrue

Women, like men, have an innate capacity and desire for sexual variety; what we believe about women’s fidelity is more a product of culture than biology.

1. Women Are Not Naturally More Monogamous

Societal norms perpetuate the belief that women are inherently more monogamous than men. Yet, research debunks this, revealing that women, like men, are just as likely to seek multiple partners. Long-term relationships often diminish women’s sexual interest, with studies showing women in such commitments are twice as likely as men to lose interest in sex.

Cultural stigmas reinforce outdated views. When women cheat, it is viewed as scandalous and abnormal, even though data shows equal infidelity rates between genders. For instance, a 1993 University of Cambridge study and subsequent Kinsey Institute data found parity in cheating behaviors between men and women.

Women’s sexual autonomy shines through platforms like Ashley Madison. Interviews revealed women often seek sexual satisfaction outside their relationships, disproving the myth that such transgressions stem from a desire for emotional connections rather than physical pleasure.

Examples

• British Medical Journal reported women’s sexual desire drops significantly in long-term partnerships.
• University of Cambridge found men and women cheated at similar rates.
• Interviews with Ashley Madison users showed women primarily sought sexual gratification, not romance.

2. The Female Body Thrives on Sexual Pleasure

The female anatomy suggests a design for extensive sexual pleasure and versatility. Unlike men, women can experience multiple orgasms within short periods, and the clitoris surpasses the penis in nerve endings, amplifying sensitivity.

Despite these biological advantages, achieving climax often takes longer for women. This challenges the belief that women are sexually passive and could encourage seeking out partners to fulfill their needs. Furthermore, the cervix possesses the ability to filter sperm based on strength, which may reflect evolutionary adaptations for varied sexual encounters.

Even male anatomy supports this theory. Human males possess larger testicles than gorillas, indicative of sperm competition seen in species where females are not monogamous. These traits imply that both male and female bodies evolved for non-monogamy.

Examples

• The clitoris contains over 8,000 nerve endings compared to fewer in the penis tip.
• Women’s extended arousal times align with the potential for exploratory sexual behavior.
• The size of human male testicles suggests evolution under conditions of female promiscuity.

3. Women Exhibit Greater Sexual Fluidity

Women are naturally more sexually fluid and adventurous than societal narratives suggest. Research by Dr. Lisa Diamond found women’s attractions often extend beyond traditional orientations, enabling exploration across gender boundaries.

This fluidity is not confined to research labs. Geneviève LeJeune’s Skirt Club provides spaces for straight and bi-curious women to explore their fantasies, a modern example of women embracing multi-faceted sexual identities. Across different cultures, similar behaviors appear; for instance, women in Lesotho and Suriname integrate same-gender relationships into heterosexual lives.

Sexual exploration among women challenges the stereotype of constancy in gender attraction, emphasizing a significant departure from male patterns of arousal, which demonstrate more fixed preferences.

Examples

• Dr. Diamond’s long-term study highlighted incongruences between women’s stated orientations and real-life behavior.
• Skirt Club events have expanded globally, catering to women experimenting with sexuality.
• Lesotho and Suriname traditions normalize women engaging with partners of both genders.

4. Female Primates and Sexual Freedom

Close primate relatives reveal clues about human behavior and relationships. Observing species like rhesus macaques and bonobos shows that non-monogamy is commonplace among females. Rhesus monkeys, when given space and freedom, sought variety in partners and showed significantly heightened sexual activity.

Bonobos, which share 99 percent of human DNA, showcase similar patterns. Their promiscuity includes both heterosexual and same-sex interactions. This widespread non-monogamy in our primates relatives aligns with early human sexual practices before societal restrictions emerged.

These behaviors, paired with human biological evidence, indicate that our monogamous expectations are crafted by culture rather than rooted in biology.

Examples

• Female rhesus macaques actively initiated sex with diverse partners.
• Bonobos are sexually active multiple times daily, reflecting innate promiscuity.
• Humans share extensive DNA overlap with these non-monogamous species.

5. The Agricultural Shift Shaped Modern Marriage

The rise of agriculture marked a major turning point for human relationships. Before farming, early humans lived communally, sharing resources and partners. The invention of the plow changed gender roles: men took charge of agriculture, and women became dependent on them for sustenance.

This dependency led to women being controlled in more fixed relationships. Farming also introduced concepts like property and inheritance, making paternity certainty critical. These shifts forced moral, legal, and societal expectations around female fidelity, despite their historical sexual freedom.

The emphasis on male-controlled resources suppressed women’s sexual agency, tying their desirability to chastity and faithfulness.

Examples

• The invention of the plow replaced communal sharing with individual ownership.
• Property-based societies introduced inheritance concerns, curbing women’s autonomy.
• Research shows plow-based cultures still hold restrictive beliefs about gender roles today.

6. Punishment Shapes Female Sexual Norms

Punishment has historically deterred women from exploring their sexuality. In ancient Greece, women caught in adultery faced public humiliation or extreme penalties like ostracism. Even today, women’s infidelity risks harsher social consequences than men’s.

Divorce statistics show unfaithful women more likely cited as the cause than unfaithful men. Beyond reputational damage, divorced women often face amplified financial loss and social challenges, reinforcing fears of societal rejection for deviating from monogamy.

Additionally, certain groups, like African American women, encounter intensified scrutiny. Hypersexualized stereotypes limit their freedom to explore sexual desires, emphasizing culture’s role in sexual policing.

Examples

• Ancient Greece mandated humiliating punishments for adulterous women.
• Divorce data in England and Wales highlighted biases against female cheaters.
• African American women experience unique pressures from media and society, limiting sexual freedom.

7. Social Norms Create Myths About Monogamy

The rise of monogamy as a cultural norm reshaped perceptions. Media, religion, and legal frameworks taught societies that monogamy was morally superior. These influences painted desires for multiple partners as deviant, especially for women.

Literature often depicts chaste women as virtuous and nonconformists as wicked. Marriage as a legal institution further ties women’s adherence to monogamy with respectability. These messages reinforce the myth that monogamy is universal and natural, despite contrary evidence from biology and anthropology.

Examples

• Religion introduced frameworks equating virtuousness with monogamy.
• Classic literature frequently glorifies chaste heroines.
• Modern media continues portraying sexually adventurous women as deviant.

8. Economics and Power Affect Sexual Freedom

Women's sexual autonomy often hinges on their financial independence. In societies where women rely economically on men, their sexual freedoms are frequently curtailed. This power imbalance exacerbates the social costs of deviating from expected monogamy.

Regions without gendered labor divisions, however, show women enjoying more equality and freedom. Without the economic dependence fueled by patriarchal structures, women have greater capacity to shape their sexual lives on their own terms.

Examples

• Farming societies confined women to child-rearing roles while excluding them from producing wealth.
• Plow usage entrenched gender inequities that persist today.
• In non-plow regions, women have stronger social and economic positions.

9. Rediscovering Women’s Sexuality

Women everywhere experience suppression of their desires, but pockets of resistance challenge the narrative. Communities celebrating fluid sexuality, researchers exploring the truth about female desire, and online platforms demonstrate that women have always sought more than their societal roles allowed.

When unburdened by societal pressures, the full extent of female sexuality surfaces. Understanding this history and biology unveils a clearer picture of human intimacy, suggesting the need to rewrite assumptions about what is “normal.”

Examples

• Clubs like the Skirt Club give women spaces to reclaim their agency.
• Studies by Kinsey and others highlight discrepancies in expectations and behaviors.
• Cultural traditions in places like Lesotho normalize female sexual exploration.

Takeaways

1. Challenge myths around female sexuality and educate yourself on research that debunks them.
2. Advocate for policies and workplaces that equalize genders economically to reduce reliance and stigma.
3. Create or partake in safe spaces that empower women to explore their sexual identities without judgment.