When We Are Seen

“What does it truly mean to be seen? It’s not just about occupying a space but about having your story, your voice, and your achievements recognized fully and authentically.”

1: Visibility as Recognition, Not Just Presence

True visibility goes beyond simply being present or holding a position. It involves having your contributions and experiences genuinely acknowledged and valued. Denise Young shares how, despite decades with Apple, she was only recognized much later for her trailblazing career as Apple's first Black female C-level executive.

Her example underlines how critical acknowledgment is for fostering belonging and inspiring others. Visibility sends a message to society that achievements and identities matter. When others recognize those who look like them thriving, it pushes boundaries of what’s imaginable.

Examples

• Young working 18 years at Apple with groundbreaking achievements but being called a “new voice” only in 2014.
• Dave Chappelle seeing and identifying with Young’s unique journey as a Black woman in leadership during the Apple Store launch.
• How representation challenges outdated norms by providing visible examples of diverse talent making an impact.

2: The Power of Being Seen Beyond Titles

Feeling seen isn’t merely about roles; it’s about fostering understanding. The moment Young felt truly understood was not when Fortune magazine honored her but during a personal exchange with Chappelle. This moment illuminated the deep human need for acknowledgment.

Invisible contributions often demoralize individuals, leading to a cycle of discouragement. Society must stop erasing narratives that deserve to exist. Recognition allows individuals to embrace themselves and others without holding back.

Examples

• Chappelle acknowledging the intersectional challenges Young faced, making her feel validated.
• Minority employees often working harder for basic recognition compared to their peers.
• Media narratives and systemic oversight silencing contributions from minorities.

3: Authentic Expression Over Attempting to Be Heard

Authenticity triumphs over noise. Young learned this as a choir singer trying too hard to stand out. Over time, with guidance, she discovered that expressing her genuine talents resonated more effectively than trying to overpower others.

True self-expression requires introspection and nurturing one's strengths. People often overcompensate by being louder or working harder, but reconnecting with authenticity draws respect and attention organically.

Examples

• Young turning inward after a choir director helped her see her natural sound.
• Workers who assert their core talents often shaping innovative environments.
• Professionals who speak their truth earning both respect and new opportunities.

4: Self-Erasure Can Result From Internal Bias

There are times we hold ourselves back, contributing to our own invisibility. During her time at a startup, Young unconsciously withdrew around a new CEO based on preconceived notions stemming from stereotypes about his corporate environment.

This highlights that people are just as prone to internal biases. Projecting assumptions affects relationships and, most of all, one’s visibility and confidence.

Examples

• Young suppressing her voice around the new CEO despite holding a leadership position.
• Colleagues calling out her withdrawn behavior, sparking self-reflection.
• Biased projections fostering disconnection between people and limiting collaboration opportunities.

5: Diverse Voices in Leadership Drive Change

When diverse leaders speak up, they pave new roads for creativity and connection. Young embodied this when recognizing the deeper cultural significance of Kirk Franklin's gospel song used in an Apple ad, prompting her to share her perspective with leadership.

Organizations need individuals who understand cultural nuances to elevate their strategies. Shared authentic experiences in decision-making allow institutions to reach wider communities and innovate.

Examples

• Young writing to Steve Jobs about underappreciated cultural elements in the iMac G4 campaign.
• Marketing strategies improving when they reflect multifaceted cultural experiences.
• Businesses diversifying leadership teams leading to brand impact on various audiences.

6: Embracing Whole Identities Strengthens Representation

Young grew weary of receiving accolades detached from her authenticity. Her turning point came upon reviving her love for music while thriving in corporate America, balancing both passion and profession.

The narrative of separating personal identity from professional life is outdated. Today, bringing a multidimensional self into spaces fosters creative thinking, relatability, and new talent discovery.

Examples

• Young reigniting her passion for singing and eventually performing at Carnegie Hall.
• Employees integrating hobbies at work often sharing deeper bonds with peers.
• Organizations evolving their work cultures to create flexibility for exploring dual capabilities.

7: Bias Isn’t Just External — Internal Biases Create Invisible Barriers

Another dimension of erasure discussed by Young is how internal fears or implicit biases impact self-doubt. Misjudging others through narratives perpetuates stereotypes, blocking connections.

By consciously examining and questioning such ideas, we open broader engagement avenues and stop participating in self-silencing cycles.

Examples

• Young stereotyping the CEO’s managerial style even before interacting with him deeply.
• Communication errors diminishing trust and connection due to unchecked assumptions.
• Overcoming self-imposed barriers creating stronger, trust-oriented leadership approaches.

8: Representation Is Not Appearance Only; It’s Meaningful Contribution

Diversity fails to thrive if it stops at optics. Young explains the significance of creating environments where individuals contribute value aligned with their cultural or experiential understanding.

Empowering representatives to articulate perspectives creates not only better outcomes but also emotional acceptance in spaces where they might have otherwise felt othered.

Examples

• Creating advertising content reflective of diverse community realities.
• Giving underrepresented leaders the agency to express views during key meetings.
• Avoiding tokenizing representation as merely a checklist item.

9: See Yourself Fully to See Others Fully

"Seeing" isn’t just for others; it’s about reconciling your fragmented self. Authenticity unlocks growth both inwardly and externally. Young philosophically argues she’s not fulfilled because people admire her boss title but because she reconnects communities through their personal stories.

The book invites readers toward empathetic leadership where presence, achievement, and vulnerability coexist harmoniously.

Examples

• Pursuing dual careers enriching creativity.
• Losing multiple loved ones while leaning into purpose like her music pursuits for healing.
• Teaching leaders how authenticity expands discussions beyond traditional metrics.

Takeaways

1. Strive for authentic self-expression rather than overcompensating to gain attention. Your genuine voice carries weight.
2. Challenge personal biases and assumptions about others to build stronger connections and avoid self-erasure.
3. Foster environments where everyone, including yourself, feels empowered to bring their full identity, ideas, and creativity.