Book cover of When We Are Seen by Denise Young

When We Are Seen

by Denise Young

12 min readRating:4.3 (25 ratings)
Genres
Buy full book on Amazon

Introduction

In her compelling book "When We Are Seen," Denise Young takes readers on a deeply personal journey through her experiences as a Black woman in executive leadership. Young's story begins on a glass staircase in Apple's iconic Fifth Avenue store, where a brief interaction with comedian Dave Chappelle sparked a profound exploration of visibility, representation, and the power of recognition.

Young's narrative isn't just about her own path to success; it's a thought-provoking examination of what it truly means to be seen in today's society. Through her experiences at Apple and beyond, she challenges readers to reconsider their understanding of visibility and representation, offering valuable insights that can help create a more inclusive world.

The True Meaning of Visibility

Young's story reveals that being seen goes far beyond mere physical presence. It's about being understood, valued, and recognized for your full contributions. This became starkly apparent when, after nearly two decades of leadership at Apple, Young was suddenly hailed as a "new voice" by Fortune magazine in 2014.

Despite her pivotal role in shaping Apple's retail strategy and culture, including overseeing the placement of over 425 Apple Stores worldwide, Young's achievements had largely gone unrecognized. This moment highlighted a crucial truth: for many minorities in contemporary society, recognition often comes too late, if at all.

The power of visibility lies in its ability to inspire and create change. When individuals see someone who looks like them in positions of influence, it expands their sense of what's possible. It challenges societal norms and breaks down barriers that have long stood in the way of progress.

However, true visibility goes beyond mere representation. It's about having your voice heard, your experiences understood, and your achievements recognized in their entirety. It's about being seen not just for who you are, but for what you've done and the journey you've taken to get there.

The Subtle Erasure of Minorities

Young's experiences shed light on the subtle ways in which minorities are often erased in society. This erasure happens in the stories not told, the achievements overlooked, and the experiences dismissed as unimportant. It's in being labeled "new" when you've been present and contributing all along.

This erasure has real and lasting consequences. It perpetuates stereotypes, limits opportunities, and reinforces systemic inequalities. It sends a message to talented individuals that their contributions don't matter, or that they must work twice as hard for half the recognition.

On the flip side, when true visibility is achieved, it can be transformative. Young's encounter with Dave Chappelle at the Apple Store opening in 2006 was one such moment. It wasn't about her title or position – she felt an acknowledgment of her unique journey and challenges. This is the essence of true visibility: being seen, heard, and understood in your fullness.

The Power of Authentic Expression

Young's journey to finding her authentic voice began long before her corporate career. As a middle school student in a choir, she was once pulled aside by a new director who told her she was shouting over everyone else, trying to be heard. This moment, though initially painful, became a turning point in Young's understanding of authentic expression.

The choir director's insight wasn't just about singing technique; it was about recognizing and nurturing one's authentic self. He saw talent in Young that she couldn't yet see in herself. By moving her to a different section and assigning her specific music to study, he wasn't just correcting her singing – he was showing her a path to discover her true voice.

This experience illustrates a crucial life lesson: sometimes, the key to being heard isn't about shouting louder, but about finding the right key. Your unique voice, when used authentically, can resonate more powerfully than any forced attempt to stand out.

Young's story encourages readers to consider the times in their own lives when they've felt the need to shout to be heard. Whether in a professional setting or personal relationships, these moments of straining to be heard can leave one exhausted and frustrated.

The path to being truly heard often involves a journey of self-discovery. It requires the courage to step back, reassess, and sometimes even change direction. This might mean exploring new ways of expressing oneself or seeking out mentors who can guide you toward your strengths.

Personal Bias and Self-Erasure

During a brief hiatus from Apple, Young joined a startup and faced an unexpected challenge when a new CEO arrived. Despite her accomplished role as HR director, she found herself retreating in his presence. This experience reveals a crucial aspect of erasure: sometimes, we erase ourselves.

Young admitted she became subdued around the new CEO, sinking into a shell that didn't represent her true self. The root of this self-erasure wasn't in the CEO's actions, but in Young's perceptions of him. She had absorbed negative narratives about the intense corporate culture at his previous company, Oracle, and projected them onto him.

This scenario illuminates how erasure can stem from our own biases. Young's preconceptions led her to withdraw, making herself less visible and potentially less effective in her role. She became consumed with what she believed the CEO thought of her, rather than presenting her authentic self.

Young's experience also highlights the power of confirmation bias – the human tendency to embrace information that supports existing beliefs rather than contradicting them. She had absorbed negative stories about Oracle and allowed them to color her perception of the new CEO, without giving him a chance to prove otherwise.

Recognizing these biases is crucial in combating erasure. Young later realized that her judgments had blocked potential opportunities for learning and connection. By projecting her fears and assumptions, she had inadvertently contributed to her own erasure.

Bringing Your Whole Self

One of Young's most enlightening experiences at Apple occurred during a major product launch. As she watched a new iMac G4 commercial featuring Kirk Franklin's hit gospel song "Stomp," Young found herself dancing with excitement. Looking around, she realized she was the only one who felt this overwhelming joy.

This moment perfectly illustrates the importance of diverse representation in decision-making roles. Young recognized something her colleagues couldn't: the positive cultural impact and potential reach of this advertisement within the Black community. She saw beyond a catchy tune; she saw a bridge between a tech giant and an underrepresented community through music and imagery.

Young's insight highlights how representation at every level can drive innovation and expand a company's reach. By having diverse voices in the room, businesses can tap into cultural nuances and create more inclusive, effective strategies.

But Young didn't stop at personal realization. She took action by writing directly to Steve Jobs to explain the ad's significance. This bold move demonstrates another crucial element of representation: the courage to speak up and share your unique insights.

By reaching out, Young not only ensured that the impact of the ad was understood at the highest level but opened a dialogue that led to new connections and opportunities within the company. Her action resulted in a direct introduction to the person responsible for the ad's music selection, expanding her influence and creating space for more diverse input in future decisions.

Seeing Your Whole Self

After years of setting up Apple Stores worldwide, Young had earned her fair share of admirers. However, she felt deeply disconnected from the recognition. This was because her focus was never on fame or fancy titles. Instead, she found meaning in the lives she touched and the culture she helped create.

This perspective is crucial for the future of representation. It's not just about having diverse faces in high positions, but about the impact those individuals can have on others.

Young's journey took an unexpected turn when she met Barry, a classical voice coach, in an Apple Store. This chance encounter reignited her passion for music and opened new possibilities. It was a reminder that her whole self mattered, not just her professional identity.

Young's decision to pursue her musical interests alongside her corporate career challenges the notion that we need to choose between our passions and our professions. The future of representation lies in bringing your whole self to the table, integrating different aspects of your identity and experiences.

This integration can be challenging but also deeply rewarding. For instance, when Young reignited her passion for singing, she had been navigating a series of devastating personal losses while leading a global team. Instead of burning out, she found solace by making time to study – and eventually performed at Carnegie Hall. It's a testament to the power of embracing all parts of yourself, even in difficult times.

The Impact of True Visibility

Young's experiences underscore the transformative power of true visibility. When individuals are seen, heard, and valued for their full selves, it doesn't just benefit them – it enriches entire organizations and communities.

For companies, having diverse voices in decision-making roles can lead to more innovative and inclusive strategies. Young's insight into the cultural significance of the iMac G4 commercial is a prime example of how diverse perspectives can unlock new markets and deepen customer connections.

On a personal level, being truly seen can be profoundly empowering. It validates one's experiences, encourages authentic expression, and fosters a sense of belonging. This, in turn, can lead to increased confidence, creativity, and willingness to contribute unique ideas.

Moreover, visibility creates a ripple effect. When underrepresented individuals see others like them in positions of influence, it expands their sense of what's possible. This can inspire a new generation of diverse leaders, creating a cycle of positive change.

Overcoming Barriers to Visibility

Young's journey also highlights the various barriers that can stand in the way of true visibility. These include:

  1. Systemic biases: Deeply ingrained prejudices in society and organizations that can lead to the overlooking or undervaluing of certain groups.

  2. Self-erasure: The tendency to make oneself smaller or less visible due to internalized biases or fear of not fitting in.

  3. Lack of representation: The absence of diverse voices in decision-making roles, which can perpetuate narrow perspectives and missed opportunities.

  4. Stereotypes and pigeonholing: The tendency to view individuals solely through the lens of their visible identities, rather than recognizing their full range of skills and experiences.

Overcoming these barriers requires conscious effort at both individual and organizational levels. It involves challenging our own biases, creating inclusive cultures, and actively seeking out and amplifying diverse voices.

The Role of Allies and Leaders

Young's story also underscores the crucial role that allies and leaders play in creating environments where everyone can be truly seen. This involves:

  1. Active listening: Taking the time to truly understand the experiences and perspectives of others, especially those from underrepresented groups.

  2. Amplifying voices: Using one's position of influence to elevate and spotlight the contributions of others who might otherwise be overlooked.

  3. Creating inclusive cultures: Fostering environments where everyone feels safe and empowered to bring their whole selves to work.

  4. Challenging biases: Actively identifying and addressing both personal and systemic biases that contribute to erasure and inequality.

  5. Mentorship and sponsorship: Providing guidance and opportunities to help underrepresented individuals navigate and succeed in their careers.

The Future of Representation

Young's experiences point towards a future where representation goes beyond mere numbers or tokenism. It's a future where:

  1. Diversity is valued at all levels: Not just in entry-level positions, but in leadership and decision-making roles.

  2. Authenticity is celebrated: Where individuals are encouraged to bring their whole selves to work, including their diverse experiences, passions, and perspectives.

  3. Inclusion is the norm: Where diverse voices are not just present, but actively sought out and valued in all aspects of organizational life.

  4. Impact is recognized: Where the contributions of individuals are acknowledged and celebrated, regardless of their background or how long they've been in a role.

  5. Continuous learning is prioritized: Where organizations and individuals are committed to ongoing education about diversity, equity, and inclusion.

Conclusion

Denise Young's "When We Are Seen" is more than just a memoir; it's a call to action for a more inclusive and equitable world. Through her experiences, Young illustrates that true visibility isn't just about being present – it's about being fully seen, understood, and valued for your entire journey and contributions.

The book challenges readers to recognize and confront their own biases, to find and use their authentic voices, and to create environments where everyone can bring their whole selves to the table. It reminds us that representation isn't just about filling quotas or achieving visible diversity. It's about creating a culture where everyone feels empowered to bring their unique experiences, passions, and perspectives to bear.

Young's journey from that glass staircase in the Apple Store to her realization of true visibility offers valuable lessons for individuals, leaders, and organizations alike. It shows us that when we truly see and value each other in all our complexity and uniqueness, we not only enrich our own lives but create a more innovative, empathetic, and inclusive world for everyone.

As we move forward, let Young's story inspire us to look closer, think deeper, and act boldly. Let it motivate us to create a world where everyone is truly seen – not just for who they are, but for all they can contribute. For in this visibility lies the power to transform not just individual lives, but entire societies.

Books like When We Are Seen