Introduction
In her inspiring book "WOLFPACK," soccer legend Abby Wambach shares powerful lessons on leadership, teamwork, and female empowerment. Drawing from her experiences as a world-class athlete and two-time Olympic gold medalist, Wambach challenges women to reject outdated rules and embrace their inner strength. She encourages readers to form their own "wolfpacks" - supportive networks of women who lift each other up and push for positive change.
Wambach's message is clear: women are stronger together. By celebrating each other's successes, embracing failure as fuel for growth, and demanding equality, women can unleash their collective power and transform society. Through personal anecdotes and hard-earned wisdom, Wambach provides a roadmap for women to step into their full potential and create a more equitable world.
Breaking Free from Old Rules
Embracing Your Inner Wolf
Wambach begins by challenging the narrative of Little Red Riding Hood - a cautionary tale warning girls to stay on the beaten path. Instead, she encourages women to embrace their inner wolf. Throughout her life and career, Wambach found that veering off the expected course led to her greatest triumphs and personal growth.
As a teenager, Wambach initially dated boys because it seemed expected. But when she embraced her true identity as a gay woman, she discovered a profound sense of authenticity and joy. This experience taught her the power of following her heart rather than societal expectations.
Wambach's sporting heroes were trailblazing women who refused to accept the status quo. These pioneers fought for Title IX legislation, created professional women's soccer leagues, and demanded fair wages for female athletes. By rejecting the notion that soccer was a "man's sport," they paved the way for Wambach's own groundbreaking career.
The author urges readers to emulate these bold women. Rather than playing it safe like Little Red Riding Hood, she advocates embracing the wolf's courage, power, and hunger for more. By challenging outdated rules and forging their own paths, women can unlock their full potential.
Moving Beyond Gratitude
While gratitude is generally positive, Wambach argues it can sometimes hold women back from demanding true equality. She shares a pivotal moment at the ESPYS awards ceremony that opened her eyes to the stark disparities between male and female athletes.
Initially filled with gratitude for being honored alongside retiring male superstars Kobe Bryant and Peyton Manning, Wambach later felt anger. She realized that while her male counterparts could look forward to financially secure retirements, she faced an uncertain future despite equal dedication to her sport.
The numbers reveal shocking inequalities:
- 2018 Men's World Cup winners received $38 million - 19 times more than the 2015 Women's World Cup champions
- US Women's National Soccer Team generated over $6 million in revenue vs. less than $2 million for the men's team
- American women across all industries earn just 81% of men's wages
Wambach believes excessive gratitude can make women hesitant to ask for more. While appreciative of progress, she urges women to use their voices and demand true equality rather than settling for less.
Harnessing Failure and Imperfection
Learning from Defeat
Early in her national team career, Wambach was puzzled to see a photo of a losing match prominently displayed in the locker room. She later learned this represented a powerful philosophy: failure is fuel.
The team intentionally remembered setbacks to motivate themselves to come back stronger. This mindset shift helped them win their first Olympic gold medal the following year. Wambach internalized this lesson, learning to harness failure's potential rather than fearing it.
Unfortunately, many women struggle to adopt this empowering perspective. Societal expectations of female perfection often lead women to lose confidence after setbacks. When they inevitably fall short of impossible standards, they may feel like imposters.
In contrast, men tend to be more comfortable with imperfection. Throughout history, flawed men have been given permission to lead and succeed despite their shortcomings. Wambach encourages women to grant themselves the same latitude, using failure as motivation rather than allowing it to derail them.
Embracing Imperfection
Wambach expands on the theme of imperfection, noting that women often feel pressure to do everything flawlessly. This unrealistic expectation, rooted in patriarchal standards, can paralyze women with fear of making mistakes.
She points out that men have long been allowed to rule and succeed despite obvious flaws - from ancient emperors to modern presidents. Women should grant themselves the same permission to be imperfect leaders and achievers.
Rather than striving for an impossible ideal, Wambach advises women to:
- Accept that mistakes and failures are inevitable
- View setbacks as learning opportunities
- Maintain confidence in their abilities despite imperfections
- Keep pushing forward even when things aren't perfect
By embracing their humanity and using missteps as fuel, women can overcome the paralysis of perfectionism and unleash their full potential.
The Power of Female Solidarity
Celebrating Collective Success
Wambach shares a personal tradition that exemplifies the power of teamwork. Whenever she scored a goal, she would immediately point to her teammates in recognition of their role in her success. This gesture acknowledged that even individual achievements stem from collective effort.
She explains that soccer goals result from the entire team's contributions:
- Defenders protecting their own goal
- Midfielders' tireless running and passing
- Bench players' enthusiastic support
When players celebrate a goal, they're really celebrating their teammates above all.
Wambach encourages women to adopt this mindset off the field as well. Rather than viewing other women as competition, she advocates celebrating and uplifting one another's successes. Unfortunately, societal messaging often pits women against each other, framing female power as a scarce resource.
The author rejects this scarcity mentality, arguing that female empowerment is an infinite fountain from which all can drink. When women support each other's achievements, they expand opportunities for everyone. Instead of fighting for a token seat at the table of patriarchy, women can work together to build a bigger table with room for all.
Building Your Wolfpack
Wambach emphasizes the critical importance of female solidarity, urging women to form their own supportive "wolfpacks." She shares how her viral Barnard College commencement speech resonated deeply with women hungry for connection and mutual support.
Many women reached out to say they were sharing the speech with daughters and friends, even hanging wolf pictures as reminders. One poignant message noted that while men have always had their clubs, women often feel isolated - whether as the lone female in the boardroom or a stay-at-home mom.
To start building your wolfpack, Wambach advises:
- Seek out women you trust and respect
- Reach out and initiate connections
- Be vulnerable and authentic
- Offer support and celebrate successes
- Push each other to grow and achieve
She credits her own wolfpack of teammates for her extraordinary soccer achievements, including World Cup and Olympic victories. While not everyone will reach such heights, all women can benefit from the strength, courage, and joy found in female solidarity.
Unleashing Your Full Power
Learning from Role Models
Wambach shares a pivotal moment from her youth when she witnessed one of her heroes, Michelle Akers, unleash her full competitive power. During a friendly match against Wambach's youth team, Akers initially took it easy and offered coaching tips. But when her team fell behind, Akers' demeanor changed dramatically.
Without hesitation, Akers demanded the ball from her teammate. She then proceeded to single-handedly score four consecutive goals, effortlessly outmaneuvering the entire opposing team. This display of raw talent and determination left a lasting impression on young Wambach.
Until that point, Wambach had been holding back, playing at only about 75% of her capacity. She feared outshining teammates or appearing arrogant. But seeing Akers confidently showcase her abilities gave Wambach permission to do the same.
Akers demonstrated that it was acceptable - even admirable - for women to:
- Believe in their own abilities
- Vocalize their desire to win
- Deploy their full talent without apology
This experience freed Wambach to unleash her own power on the field. Even years later, she draws on the memory of Akers' unabashed determination whenever she feels unworthy or incapable.
The author encourages all women to seek out role models who exemplify confidence and boldness. By witnessing others operate at full capacity, we give ourselves permission to do the same.
Overcoming Self-Doubt
Wambach delves deeper into the challenge of self-doubt that holds many women back from realizing their potential. She acknowledges that societal conditioning often makes women hesitant to showcase their talents or assert themselves.
Common fears include:
- Appearing arrogant or attention-seeking
- Making others feel inadequate
- Being disliked for outshining peers
- Facing backlash for ambition
To overcome these mental barriers, Wambach suggests:
- Recognizing that using your gifts fully benefits everyone
- Reframing confidence as a responsibility, not a luxury
- Surrounding yourself with supportive people who encourage your growth
- Practicing self-affirmation and positive self-talk
- Gradually pushing beyond your comfort zone
- Celebrating small wins to build momentum
She emphasizes that unleashing your full power isn't about ego - it's about making your greatest possible contribution to the world. By embracing our strengths and abilities without apology, we inspire others to do the same.
Redefining Leadership
Authenticity and Vulnerability
Wambach shares how her perspective on leadership evolved through her experiences with coach Pia Sundhage. When Sundhage first joined the U.S. Women's National Soccer Team, her unconventional approach initially shocked the players.
The team was accustomed to an aggressive, dominant style of play and leadership. But in their first training session, Sundhage surprised everyone by pulling out a guitar and gently singing a Bob Dylan song.
This unexpected gesture demonstrated several key leadership principles:
- Authenticity - Sundhage wasn't afraid to show her true personality
- Vulnerability - She risked appearing unconventional or even foolish
- Breaking stereotypes - She challenged notions of how a leader should behave
Sundhage's approach gradually transformed the team's dynamics. The previously hierarchical structure became more democratic and inclusive. Senior players like Wambach learned to be more vulnerable and open to input from others. Younger team members felt empowered to contribute ideas and take on leadership roles.
Wambach argues that this inclusive, authentic style of leadership is valuable far beyond sports. She encourages leaders in all fields to:
- Embrace their unique personalities and strengths
- Show vulnerability and admit when they don't have all the answers
- Create environments where all team members feel valued and heard
- Remain open to feedback and suggestions from all levels
By discarding rigid hierarchies and fostering open communication, leaders can unlock the full potential of their teams.
Collaborative Decision-Making
Building on the theme of inclusive leadership, Wambach explores how Sundhage's influence led to a more collaborative team culture. Prior to her arrival, the national team operated in a top-down manner, with senior players and coaches making most decisions.
Under Sundhage's guidance, decision-making became more democratic:
- Newer players like Alex Morgan felt comfortable offering tactical advice to veterans
- Bench players actively contributed strategic insights during games
- Even support staff like physiotherapists were encouraged to share ideas
This shift created several benefits:
- Increased engagement and buy-in from all team members
- A wider range of perspectives leading to better decisions
- Faster adaptation to challenges during matches
- Improved team cohesion and trust
Wambach believes this collaborative approach can benefit organizations of all types. She encourages leaders to:
- Actively seek input from all team members, regardless of seniority
- Create psychologically safe environments where people feel comfortable sharing ideas
- Remain humble and open to learning from anyone
- Recognize that good ideas can come from unexpected sources
By tapping into the collective intelligence of the entire team, leaders can achieve better results and foster a more empowering culture.
The Importance of Community
Strength in Numbers
Wambach illustrates the power of community through a personal anecdote about returning to exercise after retirement. Despite her elite athletic background, she found solo running unexpectedly challenging and painful.
Her friend Michele identified the issue: Wambach was used to pushing her body to the limit alongside teammates who shared the struggle and offered encouragement. Without her "wolf pack," the physical discomfort felt more daunting.
This realization highlighted a broader truth: women in all walks of life need supportive communities to thrive. Wambach argues that the "lone wolf" mentality often glorified in society is particularly harmful to women, who benefit greatly from mutual support and encouragement.
She identifies several ways women are frequently isolated:
- Being the only female in male-dominated workplaces
- Shouldering disproportionate domestic responsibilities
- Lack of representation in leadership roles
- Societal messaging that pits women against each other
To combat this isolation, Wambach urges women to actively seek out and nurture supportive female relationships. These connections provide:
- Emotional support during challenges
- Celebration of successes and milestones
- Sharing of wisdom and resources
- Motivation to pursue ambitious goals
- A sense of belonging and shared experience
By forming strong communities, women can draw strength from each other and achieve more than they could alone.
Creating Your Wolfpack
Recognizing the vital importance of female solidarity, Wambach offers practical advice for women looking to build their own supportive networks or "wolfpacks." She acknowledges that forming these connections can feel daunting, especially for those who have internalized competitive mindsets toward other women.
Steps to create your wolfpack:
Identify potential pack members
- Look for women you admire and respect
- Seek out those with shared values or complementary strengths
- Don't limit yourself to your immediate social circle or industry
Initiate connections
- Reach out to women you'd like to know better
- Attend events or join groups aligned with your interests
- Be proactive in organizing get-togethers or study groups
Cultivate trust and openness
- Share your own vulnerabilities and challenges
- Listen without judgment and offer support
- Maintain confidentiality to create a safe space
Celebrate and uplift each other
- Genuinely rejoice in other women's successes
- Offer specific, meaningful praise
- Amplify each other's voices and accomplishments
Push for growth and accountability
- Encourage each other to pursue ambitious goals
- Offer constructive feedback with kindness
- Hold each other accountable to commitments
Expand and evolve
- Continuously welcome new members to your pack
- Be open to forming different groups for various aspects of life
- Allow relationships to evolve naturally over time
Wambach emphasizes that building a wolfpack is an ongoing process that requires effort and intentionality. However, the rewards of having a strong female support system are immeasurable. These connections can provide the strength, courage, and motivation needed to overcome obstacles and achieve greatness.
Demanding Equality
Recognizing Systemic Barriers
While much of Wambach's message focuses on individual and collective empowerment, she also addresses the systemic barriers that continue to hold women back. She argues that personal growth and female solidarity must be coupled with a push for structural change to achieve true equality.
Wambach highlights several areas where women still face significant disadvantages:
Pay equity
- The persistent wage gap across industries
- Especially stark disparities in professional sports
Leadership representation
- Underrepresentation of women in C-suite positions and boardrooms
- Lack of female political leaders at all levels of government
Work-life balance
- Disproportionate burden of unpaid domestic labor on women
- Inadequate family leave policies and childcare support
Media representation
- Objectification and underrepresentation of women in media
- Lack of coverage for women's sports and achievements
Sexual harassment and violence
- Persistent issues of workplace harassment and discrimination
- High rates of sexual assault and domestic violence
Wambach argues that recognizing these systemic issues is crucial. While individual effort and mentality shifts are important, they alone cannot overcome deeply entrenched societal biases and structures.
Taking Collective Action
Building on her analysis of systemic barriers, Wambach calls for women to unite in demanding meaningful change. She believes that by harnessing the power of their collective voice, women can push for reforms that create a more equitable society for all.
Strategies for collective action:
Speak up
- Use your voice to call out inequality and discrimination
- Share personal experiences to raise awareness
- Amplify the voices of marginalized women
Support women-led initiatives
- Vote for female political candidates
- Patronize women-owned businesses
- Donate to organizations fighting for gender equality
Advocate for policy changes
- Push for pay transparency in workplaces
- Lobby for improved family leave policies
- Demand increased funding for women's sports
Challenge gender stereotypes
- Confront sexist language and assumptions
- Encourage girls and women to pursue non-traditional paths
- Celebrate diverse representations of femininity and womanhood
Mentor and sponsor other women
- Actively support the career advancement of female colleagues
- Create opportunities for women to showcase their talents
- Share networks and resources to help others succeed
Form coalitions
- Build alliances with other marginalized groups
- Collaborate across industries and sectors
- Unite around common goals while respecting diverse perspectives
Wambach emphasizes that change often comes slowly and requires persistent effort. She encourages women to celebrate small victories while continuing to push for larger systemic reforms. By working together and refusing to accept the status quo, women can create a more just and equitable world for future generations.
Embracing Your Power
Overcoming Impostor Syndrome
Wambach addresses the common struggle many women face with impostor syndrome - the persistent feeling of being a fraud despite evidence of competence and success. She shares her own experiences of self-doubt, even at the height of her soccer career, to illustrate how pervasive these feelings can be.
Strategies for overcoming impostor syndrome:
Recognize it's common
- Understand that many successful people experience these feelings
- Realize that self-doubt doesn't negate your accomplishments
Reframe negative self-talk
- Challenge internal criticisms with objective evidence
- Focus on your growth and learning rather than perceived shortcomings
Embrace your unique journey
- Avoid comparing yourself to others
- Recognize that diverse experiences and perspectives are valuable
Celebrate your achievements
- Keep a record of your accomplishments, big and small
- Accept compliments graciously instead of deflecting them
Seek support
- Share your feelings with trusted friends or mentors
- Surround yourself with people who believe in you
Take risks
- Push yourself out of your comfort zone
- Recognize that failure is a natural part of growth
Wambach emphasizes that overcoming impostor syndrome is an ongoing process. By consistently challenging these negative thoughts and embracing their true capabilities, women can step more fully into their power.
Owning Your Ambition
Building on the theme of embracing power, Wambach tackles the often-fraught relationship many women have with ambition. She argues that societal conditioning often leads women to downplay their goals or feel guilty about their desires for success.
Wambach encourages women to unapologetically own their ambition:
Redefine ambition
- Recognize that pursuing your goals benefits others, not just yourself
- View ambition as a positive force for change, not a selfish trait
Set bold goals
- Don't limit yourself based on what seems "realistic"
- Envision the impact you want to have, then work backward
Vocalize your aspirations
- Share your goals with others to create accountability
- Ask for support and resources to achieve your vision
Seek out ambitious role models
- Study the paths of women who've achieved great things
- Surround yourself with people who dream big
Address internal conflicts
- Examine any guilt or discomfort around your ambitions
- Challenge societal messages that discourage female assertiveness
Embrace a growth mindset
- View challenges as opportunities for learning
- Believe in your ability to develop new skills and capabilities
Support other women's ambitions
- Celebrate and amplify the goals of women around you
- Create a culture where female ambition is normalized and encouraged
Wambach argues that when women fully embrace their ambitions, they not only achieve personal success but also pave the way for others to follow. By owning their power and pursuing their goals without apology, women can create ripple effects of positive change throughout society.
Conclusion: Changing the Game
In her powerful conclusion, Wambach ties together the key themes of "WOLFPACK" and issues a stirring call to action. She reiterates that while individual growth and empowerment are crucial, the true strength of women lies in their collective power.
Wambach envisions a world where women:
- Reject outdated rules and forge their own paths
- Embrace failure as fuel for growth
- Celebrate each other's successes without reservation
- Lead with authenticity and vulnerability
- Demand true equality in all spheres of life
- Unapologetically own their ambitions and power
She emphasizes that this vision isn't just about improving individual women's lives - it's about fundamentally changing the game for everyone. When women come together in solidarity, they have the power to transform institutions, challenge systemic inequalities, and create a more just and equitable society.
Wambach encourages readers to start small but think big. By forming supportive wolfpacks, speaking up against injustice, and consistently pushing for progress, every woman can contribute to this larger movement for change.
She leaves readers with a powerful reminder: You are not alone. You are part of a larger pack of fierce, determined women working towards a better future. By embracing your inner wolf and joining forces with others, you have the power to change not just your own life, but the entire world around you.
Wambach's final message is one of hope and empowerment. She believes that by coming together, unleashing their collective power, and refusing to play by old rules, women can indeed change the game - creating a world of greater equality, opportunity, and fulfillment for all.