Be Water, My Friend

Introduction

Bruce Lee is a name that resonates with people around the world, even decades after his untimely death. Known for his incredible martial arts skills and charismatic presence on the silver screen, Lee was much more than just a fighter and actor. He was a deep thinker, a philosopher, and a man dedicated to personal growth and enlightened living.

In "Be Water, My Friend," Shannon Lee, Bruce's daughter, delves into her father's philosophical teachings and how they can be applied to our everyday lives. The book explores Lee's famous maxim, "Be water," and unpacks the rich wisdom behind this simple phrase.

Lee's approach to life was not about imposing rigid rules or dogma. Instead, he saw himself as a guide, helping others find their own path to self-actualization. His goal was to help people become the best versions of themselves, and his teachings continue to inspire and enlighten long after his passing.

This book summary will explore five core tenets of Lee's philosophy:

1. The wisdom of water
2. The value of emptiness
3. The gifts of opponents and obstacles
4. The truth of kinship
5. The way of jeet kune do

As we delve into these ideas, it's important to keep an open mind. Some of Lee's teachings may seem contradictory at first glance, but this is intentional. Life is complex and ever-changing, and Lee believed that we need a variety of tools and approaches to navigate it successfully.

So, let's embark on this journey of self-discovery and personal growth, guided by the timeless wisdom of Bruce Lee.

The Wisdom of Water

Bruce Lee's love for martial arts went far beyond the physical aspects of combat. For him, these practices were a microcosm of life itself, offering profound lessons that could be applied to all aspects of existence. However, Lee's journey to this understanding was not a straightforward one.

As a young teenager, Lee began his martial arts training under the guidance of Yip Man, a respected sifu (teacher) of wing chun kung fu. Yip Man's teachings were deeply rooted in Taoist philosophy, incorporating concepts like yin and yang and drawing inspiration from the natural world. But for the hot-headed young Lee, these philosophical elements didn't come as easily as the physical techniques.

Lee's transformation from an impulsive youth to a philosophical martial artist came about through a pivotal experience. After being sent home by his sifu to reflect on his teachings, a frustrated Lee took a small boat out into Hong Kong harbor. In a moment of anger, he began punching at the waves of the South China Sea. It was in this moment that the water became his teacher, imparting a lesson that would shape his entire philosophy: true strength lies in softness and adaptability.

This realization led Lee to adopt "Be water" as his guiding principle. But what does it mean to "be water," and how can we apply this concept to our own lives?

Water's greatest strength is its ability to adapt to any situation. It can flow gently or crash with tremendous force. It can find its way around obstacles or wear them down over time. In the same way, Lee believed that we should be flexible in our approach to life's challenges.

Sometimes, the wisest response to a situation is to yield and go with the flow. Other times, we need to assert ourselves and push through obstacles. The key is to recognize which approach is most appropriate for each situation we encounter. By embodying the qualities of water, we can respond to life's ups and downs with grace and effectiveness.

Another important aspect of water's wisdom is its embodiment of both yin and yang. Often misunderstood as simple opposites, yin and yang are actually complementary forces that make up a whole. Water can be both soft and powerful, calm and turbulent. It reminds us that we, too, contain multitudes – strengths and weaknesses, joys and sorrows.

By embracing all aspects of ourselves and life, rather than trying to cling only to the positive, we can achieve a sense of wholeness and balance. This acceptance of life's dualities is a crucial step towards personal growth and enlightenment.

In our daily lives, we can practice being water in various ways:

1. Adaptability: When faced with a challenge, take a moment to assess the situation before reacting. Consider whether a gentle approach or a more forceful one would be more effective.

2. Persistence: Like water wearing away a stone, sometimes the key to overcoming obstacles is consistent, patient effort rather than brute force.

3. Finding the path of least resistance: When confronted with a problem, look for creative solutions that work with the natural flow of things rather than against it.

4. Embracing change: Just as water takes the shape of whatever container it's in, practice being open to new experiences and perspectives.

5. Balance: Recognize and accept both the positive and negative aspects of yourself and your life, understanding that they are all part of the whole.

By incorporating these water-like qualities into our lives, we can become more resilient, adaptable, and balanced individuals. We can learn to flow with life's currents rather than constantly fighting against them, conserving our energy for when we truly need to make a splash.

The Gift of Emptiness

One of Bruce Lee's most frequent reminders to himself was to "empty your mind." This concept of emptiness, drawn from various wisdom traditions, is not about becoming vacant or unthinking. Instead, it's about creating space for new experiences, insights, and growth.

Lee saw emptiness as valuable in two key ways: operating from neutrality and being an "eternal student."

Operating from neutrality means striving to approach experiences without preconceived notions of good or bad. Instead of immediately labeling an event as positive or negative, Lee advocated for embracing the "what is" – seeing things as they are without judgment.

This practice can be challenging, given how conditioned we are to have preferences and make quick judgments. However, using Lee's mantra of "Empty your mind" as a cue can help us cultivate this neutral mindset.

Here's how you might practice this in your daily life:

1. When something happens, allow yourself to experience the initial emotions that arise. Whether it's joy at good news or frustration at a setback, let these feelings flow naturally.

2. Once the initial wave of emotion has passed, consciously return to a state of "empty mind." This doesn't mean suppressing your feelings, but rather not clinging to them or letting them dictate your future actions.

3. From this neutral state, you can then choose how to respond to the situation, rather than reacting based solely on your initial emotional response.

This practice of returning to neutrality can help us navigate life's ups and downs with more grace and wisdom. It allows us to see situations more clearly and make decisions based on a broader perspective rather than being swayed by momentary emotions.

The second aspect of emptiness that Lee emphasized was being an "eternal student." This involves a commitment to constant self-examination and learning. Lee believed that the person in the mirror was just as valid a classroom as any external teacher or experience.

To cultivate this eternal student mindset, Lee engaged in several practices:

1. Meditation: Regular meditation helped Lee quiet his mind and tune into his inner wisdom.

2. Reading: Lee was an avid reader, constantly seeking new ideas and perspectives from a wide range of sources.

3. Journaling: Writing allowed Lee to capture his thoughts, ask himself probing questions, and track his personal growth over time.

4. Conversations with trusted friends: Discussing ideas and experiences with others helped Lee gain new insights and challenge his own assumptions.

While these were Lee's preferred methods, the specific practices matter less than the commitment to ongoing self-reflection and learning. You might find that therapy, group discussions, or other forms of introspection work better for you. The key is to regularly create space for self-examination and growth.

By embracing emptiness in these two ways – operating from neutrality and being an eternal student – we open ourselves up to a wealth of possibilities. Every moment becomes an opportunity to return to a state of receptivity and to learn something new about ourselves and the world around us.

This approach to life can be incredibly liberating. Instead of being weighed down by fixed ideas about who we are or how things should be, we remain open and adaptable. We become more resilient in the face of change and more capable of personal growth.

Moreover, this mindset of emptiness allows us to approach life with a sense of wonder and curiosity. Rather than feeling like we have it all figured out, we remain open to new experiences and insights. This not only makes life more interesting and engaging but also allows us to continue growing and evolving throughout our lives.

In practice, cultivating emptiness might look like this:

1. Start your day with a brief meditation or moment of mindfulness, setting the intention to approach the day with an open and neutral mind.

2. When faced with a challenging situation, pause and "empty your mind" before reacting. This creates space for a more thoughtful response.

3. Regularly engage in activities that promote self-reflection, whether it's journaling, talking with a friend, or attending therapy sessions.

4. Approach new experiences with curiosity rather than judgment. Ask yourself, "What can I learn from this?"

5. At the end of each day, reflect on what you've learned and how you've grown, no matter how small the insight might seem.

By incorporating these practices into our lives, we can cultivate the gift of emptiness that Bruce Lee so valued. We become more adaptable, more insightful, and more open to the endless possibilities that life has to offer.

The Gift of Opponents and Obstacles

Life is full of challenges. We all face opponents – people who seem to stand in our way or oppose our goals – and obstacles – circumstances or situations that make our path difficult. Most of us tend to view these challenges as purely negative, things to be avoided if possible and overcome as quickly as possible when they can't be avoided.

Bruce Lee, however, had a different perspective. He saw opponents and obstacles not as adversaries to be fought against, but as opportunities to co-create with. This viewpoint aligns with his appreciation for the complementary nature of yin and yang – the idea that apparent opposites are actually interconnected and interdependent.

While this approach might sound good in theory, putting it into practice can be challenging. Fortunately, Lee left us with some guidance on how to shift our perspective and make the most of the opponents and obstacles we encounter.

1. Get to know your opponent or obstacle

When faced with a challenge, our instinct is often to pull away or try to push through as quickly as possible. Lee, however, advocated for moving towards the difficulty and seeking to understand it better.

This might involve asking yourself some probing questions:

• Why do I see this person or situation as adversarial?
• Are there any patterns from my past that are influencing my perception?
• How might I have contributed to creating this situation?

By seeking to understand the nature of the challenge, we gain valuable insights that can help us navigate it more effectively.

2. Look for the lesson

Once you've taken the time to understand the opponent or obstacle, the next step is to reflect on what you might learn from it. Lee believed that every setback or difficulty contained a lesson if we were willing to look for it.

When Lee experienced a defeat or failure, he would take time to get quiet, set aside his judgments, and ask himself, "Why?" He sought to understand why he had lost or failed, what new skills he might need to develop, or what old wounds he needed to heal.

We can apply this same approach to our own challenges:

• What is this situation teaching me?
• What skills or qualities am I being called to develop?
• How might this challenge be pointing me towards areas of personal growth?

3. Secure your mindset

Before taking action to address the challenge, Lee emphasized the importance of getting into the right mental state. He recognized that fear and pessimism could severely hamper our ability to overcome obstacles or deal with opponents effectively.

Lee often used affirmations to ensure his mind was helping rather than hindering him. He would remind himself, "Defeat is a state of mind." This helped him approach challenges with confidence and determination rather than fear and doubt.

We can adopt similar practices:

• Use positive affirmations to boost your confidence
• Visualize yourself successfully overcoming the challenge
• Journal about your fears and doubts to bring them into the open where you can address them

By securing a positive mindset, we give ourselves the best chance of turning opponents and obstacles into opportunities for growth and success.

4. Recognize your internal opponent

Perhaps the most profound insight Lee offers about opponents and obstacles is that we are often our own greatest adversary. Our fears, doubts, limiting beliefs, and negative self-talk can be far more formidable opponents than any external challenge we face.

The good news is that, unlike external opponents and obstacles, we have the power to master ourselves. We can choose to change our thoughts, beliefs, and behaviors. This realization is empowering – it puts us in the driver's seat of our own growth and development.

To apply this insight:

• Practice self-awareness to recognize when you're holding yourself back
• Challenge negative self-talk and limiting beliefs
• Cultivate self-compassion, treating yourself with the same kindness you would offer a friend

By reframing our relationship with opponents and obstacles, we can transform challenges into opportunities for growth and self-discovery. Instead of seeing difficulties as things to be avoided or quickly overcome, we can approach them with curiosity and openness, ready to learn and evolve.

This doesn't mean we should seek out hardship or welcome every difficulty with open arms. Rather, it's about developing a resilient and growth-oriented mindset that allows us to make the most of the challenges we inevitably face in life.

When we embrace opponents and obstacles as teachers and catalysts for growth, we become more adaptable, more resilient, and ultimately more capable of achieving our goals and realizing our full potential. We learn to dance with difficulty rather than being defeated by it, embodying the fluidity and adaptability of water that Lee so admired.

The Truth of Kinship

Bruce Lee's philosophy extended far beyond martial arts and personal development. At its core was a profound understanding of human interconnectedness, which he referred to as "the truth of kinship."

This aspect of Lee's teachings is perhaps best exemplified by his response to a question posed by Canadian journalist Pierre Berton. When asked whether he identified as Chinese or American, Lee's answer was simple yet profound: he identified as human. He went on to explain, "Under the sky, under the heavens, there is but one family."

This perspective wasn't just a lofty ideal for Lee; it was a lived reality. Those who knew him well remember his kindness and generosity as much as his physical prowess and intellectual depth. Even in casual interactions, Lee frequently used the term "my friend," a warm expression that peppered his conversations and writings.

Lee's embrace of universal kinship may have been influenced by his own experiences as an outsider. Born in San Francisco but raised in Hong Kong, Lee often found himself caught between cultures. In America, he was seen as too Chinese; in Hong Kong, he was viewed as too American. Rather than letting this sense of not belonging embitter him, Lee used it as a catalyst to transcend cultural divisions and embrace a broader sense of human kinship.

This doesn't mean Lee was immune to prejudice or discrimination. On the contrary, he faced significant racism throughout his life and career. However, he chose to respond to fear with love, to judgment with acceptance, and to darkness with light. This wasn't about condoning or excusing harmful behavior, but about recognizing that hate cannot be conquered by hate. When Lee needed to take a stand – which he certainly did – he did so with compassion for his fellow humans.

So how can we apply this truth of kinship in our own lives?

1. Recognize our shared humanity

Start by acknowledging that beneath our surface differences – race, nationality, religion, political beliefs – we all share a common humanity. We all experience joy and sorrow, love and fear, hope and disappointment. By focusing on these shared experiences, we can begin to bridge the divides that often separate us.

2. Practice inclusive thinking

Challenge yourself to expand your circle of concern. When you hear about events happening in other parts of the world, try to empathize with the people affected as if they were your neighbors or family members. This doesn't mean you have to solve all the world's problems, but it can help foster a sense of global kinship.

3. Respond to prejudice with compassion

When faced with prejudice or discrimination – whether directed at yourself or others – try to respond as Lee did: with compassion and understanding. This doesn't mean accepting harmful behavior, but it does mean recognizing the fear or ignorance that often underlies such actions and seeking to address the root cause rather than responding with more negativity.

4. Cultivate kindness in daily interactions

Make a conscious effort to treat everyone you encounter with kindness and respect, regardless of their status or role in your life. Remember Lee's habit of referring to others as "my friend" – can you bring a similar warmth to your own interactions?

5. Embrace diversity

Instead of seeing differences as a source of division, try to view them as an opportunity for learning and growth. Seek out experiences and relationships that expose you to different cultures, perspectives, and ways of life.

6. Practice self-acceptance

Interestingly, embracing the truth of kinship often starts with accepting ourselves. When we're at war with parts of ourselves, it becomes easier to project that conflict onto others. By practicing self-acceptance and self-compassion, we become more capable of extending that same acceptance and compassion to others.

7. Recognize interconnectedness

Try to cultivate an awareness of how your actions impact others and how you're influenced by the world around you. This can help foster a sense of responsibility and connection to the broader human family.

It's important to note that embracing the truth of kinship doesn't mean we have to be best friends with everyone we meet. It's not about forced intimacy or ignoring genuine differences. Rather, it's about recognizing our fundamental connectedness as human beings and allowing that recognition to inform how we treat ourselves and others.

Lee's philosophy of kinship reminds us that how we treat anyone is how we treat everyone. When we exclude even one person from our circle of compassion, we create the potential to exclude all – including ourselves. By embracing the truth of kinship, we open ourselves to a more inclusive, compassionate, and ultimately more fulfilling way of being in the world.

This approach to life can be transformative, not just on a personal level, but on a societal one as well. In a world often divided by differences, Lee's message of universal kinship offers a path towards greater understanding, empathy, and peace.

As we strive towards personal growth and enlightened living, let's remember that we're not on this journey alone. We're part of a vast human family, all struggling, learning, and growing together. By embracing this truth of kinship, we can support each other on the path to self-actualization and create a more harmonious world in the process.

The Way of Jeet Kune Do

Bruce Lee is widely celebrated as a martial arts icon, but what's less known is that he was quite a controversial figure within the martial arts community of his time. His approach to martial arts, which culminated in the creation of his own style called Jeet Kune Do, challenged many traditional notions and practices.

Lee's martial arts journey was marked by breaking conventions from the start. Being only three-quarters Chinese, he shouldn't have been allowed to learn Chinese kung fu according to the traditions of the time. It was only thanks to his open-minded sifu, Yip Man, who trained Lee in private to avoid public controversy, that Lee had the opportunity to study wing chun kung fu.

As Lee continued his martial arts journey, he further bucked tradition by studying under several teachers across various disciplines. His belief that there was "no Chinese way of fighting or Japanese way of fighting" went against the grain of martial arts culture at the time, which often emphasized the superiority of one style over others.

The culmination of Lee's unconventional approach was the creation of Jeet Kune Do, which loosely translates to "the way of the intercepting fist." This wasn't just another martial art style; it was Lee's philosophy of martial arts and life distilled into practice.

Jeet Kune Do incorporated elements from various martial arts disciplines, including wing chun kung fu, boxing, and fencing. It also drew on principles from biomechanics and other scientific fields. Lee's approach was to take what was useful from any source, discard what wasn't, and add what was uniquely his own.

This approach to martial arts mirrored Lee's philosophy of personal growth and self-actualization. He believed that each person should forge their own path, taking inspiration from various sources but ultimately creating something uniquely their own.

So how can we apply the principles of Jeet Kune Do to our own lives and personal growth journeys?

1. Be open to learning from various sources

Just as Lee studied multiple martial arts styles, we can benefit from exploring different philosophies, cultures, and ways of thinking. Don't limit yourself to one school of thought or one set of beliefs. Be willing to learn from anyone and anything that crosses your path.

2. Question traditions and assumptions

Lee wasn't afraid to challenge traditional martial arts practices when they didn't align with his experiences or understanding. Similarly, we should be willing to question our own assumptions and the conventional wisdom of our cultures or fields of expertise. This doesn't mean rejecting everything, but rather critically examining beliefs and practices to see if they truly serve us.

3. Take what is useful, discard what is not

Not everything we learn or experience will be beneficial for our personal growth. Like Lee, we need to develop the discernment to recognize what serves us and what doesn't. This might mean letting go of habits, beliefs, or even relationships that no longer contribute to our growth.

4. Add what is uniquely your own

Personal growth isn't just about adopting others' ideas or practices. It's about integrating what we learn with our own experiences, insights, and personality to create something uniquely our own. Don't be afraid to put your own spin on things or to trust your own intuition.

5. Emphasize practicality and effectiveness

Jeet Kune Do was focused on what worked in real combat situations, not on adhering to tradition or looking impressive. In our personal growth journeys, we should focus on practices and ideas that create real, positive change in our lives, not just those that sound good in theory.

6. Remain flexible and adaptable

Jeet Kune Do wasn't a fixed set of techniques, but a fluid approach that could adapt to any situation. Similarly, our approach to personal growth should remain flexible. What works for us at one stage of life might not be as effective in another. Be willing to adapt your practices and beliefs as you grow and change.

7. Strive for simplicity and directness

Lee often emphasized the importance of simplicity and directness in martial arts. In our personal growth, we can apply this principle by focusing on core practices and principles rather than getting lost in complexity. Sometimes, the simplest approaches can be the most powerful.

8. Cultivate self-awareness

A key aspect of Jeet Kune Do was understanding one's own strengths, weaknesses, and tendencies. In our personal growth journeys, cultivating self-awareness is crucial. Regular self-reflection can help us understand our patterns, motivations, and areas for improvement.

Lee often compared the pursuit of personal growth to sculpting. Our life is like a block of marble, and we are the sculptors. Through our choices, practices, and experiences, we chip away at the excess, revealing the authentic form within. This process isn't about becoming someone else or adhering to an external standard of perfection. It's about becoming the fullest, most authentic version of ourselves.

It's important to note that Lee didn't create Jeet Kune Do or share his philosophy to create a legion of Bruce Lee imitators. His goal was to inspire others to find their own way, to become the fullest expression of themselves. He saw himself as a guide or, in his words, "a finger pointing at the moon," understanding that each person must see the moon – their own path to growth and self-actualization – for themselves.

In this spirit, as we apply the principles of Jeet Kune Do to our lives, we should remember that our way won't be exactly like Lee's or anyone else's. The specific practices, beliefs, and approaches we adopt matter less than our commitment to ongoing growth and self-discovery.

By embracing the spirit of Jeet Kune Do in our personal growth journeys, we can become more adaptable, more authentic, and more effective in our pursuit of self-actualization. We can learn to flow with life's challenges, integrate diverse experiences and knowledge, and ultimately sculpt our lives into a unique expression of our truest selves.

Conclusion

Bruce Lee's legacy extends far beyond his achievements in martial arts and cinema. Through his philosophy, distilled in the simple yet profound maxim "Be water, my friend," Lee provided a roadmap for personal growth and enlightened living that continues to inspire people around the world.

The five core tenets we've explored – the wisdom of water, the value of emptiness, the gifts of opponents and obstacles, the truth of kinship, and the way of jeet kune do – offer a comprehensive approach to navigating life's challenges and realizing our full potential.

By embodying the adaptability and strength of water, we learn to flow with life's currents rather than constantly fighting against them. Through embracing emptiness, we create space for new experiences and insights, remaining open to growth and change. By reframing our relationship with opponents and obstacles, we transform challenges into opportunities for learning and self-discovery.

The truth of kinship reminds us of our fundamental connectedness with all of humanity, encouraging us to approach life with compassion and understanding. And through the way of jeet kune do, we learn to forge our own unique path, integrating diverse influences while remaining true to our authentic selves.

These teachings are not meant to be rigid rules, but rather flexible guidelines that can be adapted to our individual circumstances and needs. Lee himself emphasized the importance of each person finding their own way, using his teachings as inspiration rather than doctrine.

As we strive to incorporate these principles into our lives, it's important to remember that personal growth is a journey, not a destination. There will be setbacks and challenges along the way, but each obstacle presents an opportunity for learning and growth.

Bruce Lee's philosophy offers us a powerful toolkit for navigating life's complexities and realizing our full potential. By embracing these teachings, we can cultivate greater resilience, adaptability, compassion, and authenticity in our lives.

So, as you move forward on your own journey of personal growth and self-discovery, remember to be like water – fluid, adaptable, and powerful. Embrace the emptiness that allows for new possibilities. See challenges as opportunities for growth. Recognize your kinship with all of humanity. And above all, forge your own unique path, integrating what you've learned with your own experiences and insights.

In doing so, you'll be honoring not just Bruce Lee's legacy, but also your own potential for growth, self-actualization, and enlightened living. The journey may not always be easy, but as Lee himself said, "Do not pray for an easy life, pray for the strength to endure a difficult one." With these teachings as your guide, you have the tools to navigate whatever life may bring, growing stronger and wiser with each step of the way.