Finding Me Summary

"Am I somebody now?" Viola Davis grapples with this question throughout her life, showing us the resilience of a child born into poverty who becomes a world-renowned actress.

1. Overcoming a violent childhood fueled Viola’s determination

Viola Davis grew up surrounded by poverty, violence, and chaos. Her father often drank and became angry, leading to recurring fights between him and her mother. The family lived in crumbling apartments, often without heat or hot water. None of this could shield Viola or her siblings from the trauma of these domestic episodes. One particularly harrowing night, young Viola inserted herself into a violent fight to protect her mother, an act of defiance that marked an early moment of courage. It was in these moments that Viola realized life was a fight, and she had to be ready to stand up in it.

Another defining figure in her childhood was her sister Dianne, who inspired Viola to aim beyond the harsh reality they lived in. Dianne, smelling of soap and wearing warm clothes, told five-year-old Viola, “You don’t want to live like this when you’re older, do you?” Young Viola decided then and there that she would escape their situation and become someone extraordinary. This flame of ambition never wavered, even as hardships continued.

Even at eight years old, Viola was bullied and racially mocked while trying to run home from school. One snowy day, her tormentors cornered and beat her. This wasn’t just physical pain; it planted deep insecurities about her worth. But instead of breaking her, these incidents fed her resolve. Each humiliation, though painful, became another building block in her mission to leave behind the shame of her upbringing.

Examples

• Took a stand against her father’s violence, using her voice to de-escalate a heated fight.
• Inspired by Dianne’s encouragement to dream of something better.
• Battled bullies who made her childhood painful but refused to let their hatred define her.

2. The magic of acting became a lifeline

Viola experienced her call to adventure watching Cicely Tyson on television in The Autobiography of Miss Jane Pittman. For the first time, she saw someone who looked like her, a Black woman exuding strength and beauty. Young Viola didn’t just love seeing Tyson’s performance; it represented hope—a world beyond the rundown neighborhoods where she lived.

Encouraged further by her sisters, Viola joined a local talent show where they performed a skit mimicking their mother’s favorite game shows. They won first prize. That moment of winning, however small, sparked joy and affirmed to Viola that she could entertain and captivate people. Even in her school’s drama classes, acting provided an escape. Through performance, she temporarily left behind the sadness of her home life to inhabit a world of creativity and possibility.

Her talent eventually led her to the performing arts program Upward Bound, where she met others from different walks of life: kids with disabilities, children of immigrants, and war refugees with harrowing stories. These experiences lightened her own burdens as she found herself stepping into the transformative power of performance. Acting wasn’t just an aspiration; it became a way to survive.

Examples

• Cicely Tyson sparked her dream of becoming an actress by showing her what was possible.
• Felt empowered by her victory in a local talent show.
• Found relief and strength through her involvement in Upward Bound.

3. Education wasn’t easy, but it sharpened her talent and grit

After finding a sense of purpose through acting, Viola began her formal journey through education, working tirelessly to overcome financial and social obstacles. She earned acceptance into Rhode Island College with a full scholarship, all thanks to her unstoppable drive and talent. Even then, life wasn’t smooth. Her family struggled, facing an eviction and moving to an even smaller apartment. But nothing stopped Viola from pursuing her dream.

Later, Viola was accepted into New York’s Circle in the Square Theater program, which would have been unattainable without funding. To survive in New York, Viola worked grueling jobs, including handing out fliers, assembling boxes, or working at a call center, all while refining her craft. Despite these struggles, she consistently sought new opportunities.

Her most significant leap came when she auditioned for Juilliard, one of the most prestigious theater schools in America. Short on time due to her performance commitments, Viola “hacked” her audition by making it clear she’d need an expedited process. The committee was impressed by her bold assurance. She was accepted, marking a turning point that reinforced her belief in her acting abilities.

Examples

• Earned full scholarship to Rhode Island College despite struggling at home.
• Survived in New York by juggling multiple, often menial, jobs while pursuing acting.
• Convinced a prestigious Juilliard audition panel to adjust for her tight schedule.

4. Juilliard tested her identity as a Black actress

Despite the prestige of Juilliard, Viola struggled to find space for her authentic identity within the largely Eurocentric environment. Embracing her Blackness while adapting to a training system not designed for her culture left her feeling dimmer and stifled. There were moments where she questioned whether this institution fit her journey.

Yet, an unexpected turning point came when Viola embarked on a cultural tour of Africa during her time at Juilliard. Witnessing the vitality, traditions, and artistic expressions of her ancestors gave her a fresh source of inspiration and power she hadn’t yet unlocked. She felt connected to her roots in an incredible way, allowing her acting prowess to evolve into something more personal and meaningful.

The lessons she brought back from Africa lit a fire within her. She promised herself never to let anyone dim her light again. Viola completed Juilliard more aware of her heritage, giving her the grounding she needed to tackle future endeavors and challenges.

Examples

• Felt constrained by Juilliard’s Eurocentric teaching but continued to excel through persistence.
• Found personal and artistic freedom on a cultural tour through Africa.
• Embraced her traditions and heritage as an integral part of her identity.

5. Breaking into Hollywood didn't erase struggles

Though Viola's talent was undeniable, her journey into Hollywood was marked by countless rejections and racial bias. She wasn’t the conventional choice for lead roles as she didn’t fit Hollywood’s expectations of beauty, usually reserved for lighter-skinned actresses. She spoke candidly about being offered roles as maids and addicts, while others had the chance to be glamorous leads.

A breakthrough came with Doubt, where she worked alongside Meryl Streep. Even as she impressed audiences and critics alike, receiving an Oscar nomination, Viola constantly felt the imposter syndrome creeping in. She believed her role choices reflected the industry's limited view of Black women, rather than one of her full capabilities as an actor.

However, things changed with Shonda Rhimes. Casting her as Annalise Keating in How to Get Away with Murder gave Viola a rare role: that of a complex, powerful lead. It was a defining moment when she removed her wig in a vulnerable scene, showcasing her natural beauty while accepting her worth as an actress and as herself.

Examples

• Faced rampant rejection due to Hollywood’s bias against dark-skinned actresses.
• Received an Academy Award nomination for Doubt, though still grappled with self-doubt.
• Thrived with Shonda Rhimes in How to Get Away with Murder, a breakthrough lead role.

6. Family became the foundation of her healing journey

Throughout her rollercoaster career, Viola’s greatest healing came through her relationships with her family. Her father, a heavy drinker who had terrorized her childhood, sobered up and sought redemption. Over time, she forgave him, and their connection flourished into something precious and restorative.

Viola also found love with producer Julius Tennon, who became her rock. They married and even renewed their vows twice, celebrating the strength of their bond. Adoption further expanded their love when they welcomed their daughter, Genesis, into their world. Her family life became a source of joy.

By prioritizing warmth and connection, Viola found herself mending old wounds. This support system made her realize that healing was possible even after years of trauma. Her family helped her discover personal happiness that deepened her professional fulfillment.

Examples

• Rekindled a tender relationship with her father after years of estrangement.
• Married Julius Tennon, a constant source of love and stability.
• Built a family with the adoption of her daughter, Genesis.

7. Embracing her childhood self leads to transformation

During therapy, Viola’s counselor suggested she embrace the inner child she once ran from: the eight-year-old girl with snot running as she fled bullies in the snow. Initially, Viola couldn’t accept this exercise; she had spent too long running from that girl’s trauma to welcome her back.

It wasn’t until Viola reached new heights both personally and professionally that she allowed herself to reflect with love on these formative experiences. She realized this girl, full of determination and bravery, was the reason for her triumphs. Instead of considering her childhood self weak, she saw her as a fighter who deserved compassion and gratitude.

By confronting and embracing all versions of herself, Viola finally achieved a sense of peace. She stood firmly in joy, not because her life was free from struggle, but because she accepted every part of her journey.

Examples

• Therapy introduced her to the idea of embracing her childhood self.
• Reevaluated hardships as moments of survival, not just suffering.
• Achieved healing by welcoming her past self as part of her identity.

8. Artistic success didn’t insulate her from prejudice but became her platform

Awards and acclaim couldn’t shield Viola from experiencing the same racial bias she had faced all her life. However, instead of allowing these barriers to defeat her, she began using her platform to address inequality in Hollywood. She spoke openly about racism, colorism, and lack of opportunities for Black actors in the industry.

Her acceptance speeches often turned into calls for change, encouraging shifts in both perception and policy. By choosing roles and projects that broke stereotypes, she blazed a trail for others behind her. She also became a symbol of perseverance for younger actors of color.

Through her work, she created opportunities to tell meaningful stories. Viola believes artistry should reflect the vast richness of human existence—a mission she carries through her roles.

Examples

• Used her Oscar win to advocate for better opportunities for Black creators.
• Chose groundbreaking parts that elevated her representation beyond stereotypes.
• Publicly addressed systemic racism in the entertainment industry.

9. Joy became Viola’s fight

At the core of Viola’s story is not only survival but the persistent pursuit of joy. Acting began as an escape, but gradually, it grew into her greatest joy and source of fulfillment. She didn’t want to chase “success” but instead create moments and roles that mattered deeply to her.

This journey led Viola to learn that joy itself is a choice—a daily act of resilience. Through love, art, and personal growth, she reclaimed herself and the joy that felt long lost. She radiated a hard-won happiness, proving that even amid struggles, there is beauty to seize.

Joy became a part of her legacy—showing others that fulfillment isn’t an unearned gift but something you choose and fight for.

Examples

• Found joy through demanding but meaningful roles in film and theater.
• Lived her happiest moments on Broadway while her parents watched her perform.
• Cultivated a powerful sense of purpose through art and family.

Takeaways

1. Use your struggles to fuel your ambition rather than stop you. Let them become stepping-stones on your journey.
2. Give yourself space to embrace past versions of yourself, especially those shaped by challenges and survival.
3. When you must, choose practicality over perfection. Booking a commercial doesn't mean abandoning your artistic dreams.