Be Where Your Feet Are

Every minute spent on one thing is a minute lost on another. But the key is to focus, be present, and align your actions with what truly matters.

1. Embrace Presence in All Aspects of Life

Living in the moment is not just a cliché; it’s a practice that can transform your relationships and mindset. Scott O'Neil realized this after losing his high-profile job, which gave him the opportunity to focus on his family and himself instead of rushing into the next big career move.

Modern technology tempts us to multitask, often pulling us away from what is right in front of us. However, living in this constant state of partial attention can lead to stress and dissatisfaction. Choosing to fully engage in what you’re doing, whether it’s work or play, can rejuvenate your personal and professional life.

For example, O’Neil took a two-and-a-half-week family vacation after his career stumble and discovered the joy of undivided attention. This not only strengthened his familial bonds but also refreshed his outlook before starting his next job.

Examples

• Taking a vacation to Europe allowed O'Neil to reconnect fully with his wife and daughters.
• Turning off notifications during family dinner encourages deeper conversations.
• Practicing mindfulness in daily life can help you to disengage from nonstop distractions.

2. Identify and Prioritize What’s Most Important

Defining your priorities can guide decisions and motivate you to make sacrifices for what matters most. O’Neil introduces the concept of WMI – What’s Most Important – as a compass for authentic living.

The story of Vai Sikahema’s family, who sold parts of their house to fund a spiritual journey, demonstrates how powerful this practice can be. Life is full of tempting distractions and competing priorities, but if you clearly understand your values and goals, decisions become easier to make, even if they seem unconventional.

Once you understand your WMI, you’re more willing to ignore outside pressures and criticisms. By sticking to your priorities – whether it’s family, faith, or a personal cause – you can build a life centered on your true purpose.

Examples

• Sikahema’s parents sold house walls to fund a religious journey they deeply valued.
• Choosing to decline career growth opportunities to prioritize family needs.
• Focusing solely on personal health for a period to recover from stress or illness.

3. Redefine Failure as a Stepping Stone

Failure is not just an inevitable part of life; it’s one of its most valuable teachers. O’Neil encourages people to reframe failure as a way to "fail forward," where mistakes become opportunities for learning and growth.

He shares his decision to partner with NSYNC for the WNBA in an effort to sell more tickets; it was a misstep that didn’t bring the desired results. Reflecting on this failure, O’Neil realized that relationship-building mattered more than superficial partnerships – a lesson that deeply shaped his future working methods.

Rather than letting setbacks define you, identify what went wrong, acknowledge it, and use those insights to inform your next steps. This approach prepares you to navigate future challenges with greater resilience.

Examples

• O’Neil’s failed marketing campaign with NSYNC showed him the importance of team dynamics.
• Entrepreneurs using feedback from failed business ventures to refine their next startup model.
• Athletes analyzing lost games to improve strategies for the next competition.

4. Success Is a Team Effort

Teamwork is about more than sharing workload; it’s about creating mutual support and fostering collective progress. O’Neil demonstrated this lesson to his new team at Madison Square Garden Sports by showing them the viral "Battle at Kruger" video, emphasizing collaboration.

The water buffalo in the video succeed in saving a calf from predators when they band together. O’Neil used this as a metaphor for effective teamwork: addressing even small issues like refilling the printer toner or fixing deadlines helps strengthen the whole group.

Building strong teams doesn’t just apply to offices; it’s a principle for families and communities as well. Being proactive, helpful, and willing to support others boosts the morale and functionality of any group setting.

Examples

• The water buffalo band together to save one of their own.
• Employees pitching in for an overwhelmed coworker to meet a deadline.
• Communities organizing volunteer efforts post-natural disaster.

5. Assume Good Intentions from Others

What happens when you choose to believe that others mean well, even in difficult situations? O’Neil suggests this shift in perspective can transform relationships and reduce stress.

Take the example of Jill Snodgrass, who once viewed her adoption with feelings of abandonment. Reevaluating her biological mother’s decision, Snodgrass discovered compassion and reframed her story through a lens of understanding. Assuming good intentions allows us to extend patience and kindness even when others disappoint us.

This approach doesn’t excuse bad behavior, but it recognizes that most people act based on their circumstances. Choosing empathy over judgment can shift how you interact with colleagues, family, and strangers alike.

Examples

• Snodgrass saw her adoption through the lens of her birth mother’s struggles.
• Reacting calmly when a driver cuts you off reflects empathy over frustration.
• Forgiving a friend’s missed invitation based on an assumption that it was an oversight.

6. Patience and Persistence Pay Off

In a world full of instant gratification, O’Neil champions the value of trusting a long-term process. Using the example of the Philadelphia 76ers' rebuilding strategy, he shows how persistence and commitment eventually lead to lasting results.

The "trust the process" mantra adopted by the team resonated deeply, even with frustrated fans. It reinforced that success is built on small, consistent steps rather than quick fixes.

Similarly, individuals should focus on steady progress instead of shortcuts. While results may not always appear right away, patience and daily dedication will ultimately yield meaningful accomplishments.

Examples

• The 76ers embraced rebuilding their team, becoming one of the NBA’s strongest.
• A student studying a little every day builds a foundation for exam success.
• Entrepreneurs building businesses brick by brick instead of seeking immediate profits.

7. Balance Sacrifice with Gratification

Trade-offs are inevitable in life. For every opportunity we seize, there’s something else we may miss. O’Neil advises finding a balance by clearly understanding personal priorities and owning your choices.

Whether it’s sacrificing income for a more meaningful career or missing social events to prioritize family, every decision involves a cost. Balancing these sacrifices with your WMI helps reduce regret and sustain motivation.

Understanding that everything involves trade-offs also helps us appreciate what we achieve while making peace with what we’ve set aside.

Examples

• Declining a prestigious promotion to spend more time at home.
• Prioritizing health by skipping casual gatherings.
• Delegating tasks wisely to focus on impactful work.

8. Pay Attention to Detail

Small, seemingly insignificant acts can make a big difference. O’Neil advocates for an active awareness of your surroundings, encouraging people to address small problems immediately instead of ignoring them.

He relates this to his broader approach toward teamwork and leadership – if everyone picks up the metaphorical paper on the floor, collective spaces become safer, cleaner, and better functioning.

Focusing on the little things, whether in work or relationships, contributes to an overall culture of care, respect, and excellence.

Examples

• Helping out with small tasks like restocking supplies in an office.
• Keeping a tidy and clean locker room in team sports.
• Remembering small personal details as gestures of care in relationships.

9. Growth Requires Uncomfortableness

Growth isn’t comfortable, but stepping outside your comfort zone often leads to the most rewarding experiences. O’Neil emphasizes embracing challenges as part of self-development.

When things get tough, remind yourself these moments are temporary stepping stones to greater heights. Whether it’s learning a new skill or tackling a complex issue, difficulty often signifies progress.

By welcoming these uphill battles, you become more capable, adaptable, and resilient in all areas of life.

Examples

• Public speaking despite nervousness leads to better confidence over time.
• Taking up a tough managerial role to develop leadership skills.
• Running a marathon despite physical hardships leads to immense joy afterward.

Takeaways

1. Take a few minutes every day to practice being fully present in your interactions and activities. Turn off your devices during conversations or meals.
2. Write down your WMI (What’s Most Important) and use it to guide your decisions, big or small.
3. When faced with failures, list the lessons you learned and how you can apply them to future actions.