Beyond Order

“What shall I do when the way forward is not clear? Pay attention. Do not assume that you already know enough. Listen.” – Jordan B. Peterson

1. Social Environments Shape Us

We don't function or develop in isolation. Our social systems and structures play a huge role in shaping who we are. From laws to familial guidance, external factors provide order in a chaotic world, guiding our actions and decisions.

Social institutions simplify the overwhelming complexity of life. Without these systems, we’d be directionless, facing an infinite number of choices without clear guidance. For instance, knowing we need a job to pay for food and shelter follows societal norms that reduce confusion about how to meet basic needs.

In addition to following existing structures, successful individuals learn to challenge or adapt rules when necessary. For example, laws guide ethical behavior, but people pushing for change—like leaders of civil rights movements—recognized and rectified inadequacies in those laws. This balance between adhering to social systems and questioning them when they fail is essential.

Examples

• Governments establish laws to ensure economic and physical stability.
• Families often teach children how to act in a world full of unknowns.
• Social hierarchies, like workplaces, provide pathways for personal achievement.

2. Create the Person You Want to Be

You are not defined by your limitations or past experiences. The human mind is unique in its ability to visualize future paths and reinvent itself. Much like how ancient alchemists sought transformation, you hold the potential to change who you are through focused effort.

By imagining an ideal version of yourself, you establish a goal to strive toward. This process involves challenging the chaotic mental forces that hinder your progress, such as fear or insecurity. Success comes from confronting these challenges and building a life aligned with your aspirations.

An ancient Mesopotamian myth about Marduk illustrates this idea: when faced with a chaotic world, the god Marduk imposed order by envisioning a better future and rising to meet the challenge. With persistence, you too can overcome internal and external chaos to achieve transformation.

Examples

• Athletes who start from humble beginnings but visualize and train for greatness.
• Artists who channel personal struggles to create meaningful works of beauty.
• Professionals who reinvent their careers mid-life to align with newfound passions.

3. Don’t Ignore Small Problems

Seemingly minor irritations can snowball into major issues if left unchecked. It’s tempting to brush these problems under the rug in an effort to keep the peace or avoid confrontation, but doing so can create larger conflicts over time.

Take Peterson’s father-in-law, who silently disliked eating off small plates for years until he unexpectedly burst out in frustration. This scenario underscores how ignoring small annoyances can fester into much larger outbursts later.

Proactively addressing minor conflicts, whether in personal or professional relationships, ensures they don’t escalate into significant disputes. Temporary discomfort while resolving these problems is a small price to pay for long-term harmony.

Examples

• A marriage where unresolved habits grow into irreparable resentment.
• Workplace conflicts that start as minor misunderstandings but escalate without communication.
• Daily frustrations, like delayed repairs in a home, creating stress over time.

4. Embrace Responsibility for Fulfillment

Living without responsibility may sound fun in theory, like Peter Pan’s carefree adventures, but in reality, it leads to a shallow, ungrounded existence. True meaning in life comes from taking on responsibilities, even when they seem challenging initially.

Responsibilities bring structure, helping individuals focus on long-term goals rather than fleeting pleasures. For example, choosing to develop a skill or career may feel restrictive in the moment but ultimately brings pride and fulfillment.

While the burden of responsibility can evoke fear, it’s what gives life its meaning. Much like rules that create the framework for a game, responsibilities provide a framework for life that’s worth engaging in.

Examples

• Parents finding meaning in providing for their children despite sacrifices.
• Students who prioritize study to build a stable and rewarding career.
• Community leaders dedicating themselves to causes larger than themselves.

5. Reject Things You Despise

Tolerating something you truly hate causes personal distress and corrupts societal integrity. Whether it’s a worldview, a workplace environment, or an unhealthy relationship, enduring what you loathe harms your mental health and numbs your instincts.

Peterson shares a story about one of his clients who left her job after her company enforced policies she couldn’t support. She chose personal integrity over continued complicity. Challenging the systems we disagree with can induce chaos but is often essential for personal and societal growth.

If confrontation isn’t safe or possible, walking away is a valid option. Both approaches maintain authenticity and prevent resentment from poisoning your well-being.

Examples

• Resigning from a job with unethical practices.
• Leaving a toxic relationship that stifles individuality.
• Politely but firmly standing against social trends that feel wrong.

6. Avoid Simplistic Ideologies

The world is complicated, and no single ideology can fully explain or solve its complexities. Simplistic worldviews, though appealing, place the blame on vague enemies and push people toward resentment rather than growth.

Peterson warns of ideologies that foster victimhood by attributing personal failures to society or external forces. Success comes from taking personal responsibility, rather than subscribing to narratives that absolve individuals of self-reflection or action.

These ideologies can also lead to dangerous arrogance, as individuals feeling morally "better" than others may justify harmful acts in the name of their beliefs. It’s healthier to embrace nuance and work toward self-improvement instead.

Examples

• Political movements blaming inequality solely on systemic oppression.
• Workplace cultures encouraging groupthink over critical discussion.
• Historical ideologies, like Nazism, which oversimplified human issues to destructive ends.

7. Commit Fully to a Goal

Partial effort leads to partial results. Like carbon under pressure turning into a diamond, true transformation requires focused, consistent effort in one direction.

Pushing through obstacles might feel uncomfortable, but it results in tremendous growth. For instance, while pursuing his PhD, Peterson and his classmates found that their rigorous academic work not only improved their professional talents but also enhanced their discipline and social skills.

Fully committing to a goal aligns your psychological energy, making even small achievements deeply rewarding and minimizing internal conflict.

Examples

• Authors spending years perfecting their manuscripts to create lasting work.
• Entrepreneurs who overcome initial failures by remaining focused and innovative.
• Student-athletes combining physical training with academic work to succeed in both fields.

8. Find Beauty Where You Can

Adding beauty to your life brings joy, lifts your spirit, and instills a sense of awe. Living in a purely functional, drab space can leave you disengaged and uninspired. Peterson emphasizes that even small efforts to seek or create beauty can transform your surroundings and mindset.

His personal example of revamping his university office showcases how thoughtful aesthetics create emotional balance. Beauty invites reflection and revitalizes our sense of wonder, serving as an antidote to the monotony and stress of daily life.

Art, music, and creativity aren’t extraneous luxuries—they’re essential ways to reconnect with meaning and inspiration.

Examples

• A well-decorated room creating a calm space for focus and relaxation.
• Classical music providing upliftment during times of emotional duress.
• A child’s awe at natural beauty reminding us to slow down and notice the world.

9. Gratitude Amid Suffering

Adversity is part of life, but it shouldn’t overshadow the good. Difficult experiences are meaningful because they highlight life’s beauty, love, and joy. The loss of a loved one, for instance, only feels so heavy because of the love shared.

Psychologists studying resilience note that gratitude helps people navigate adversity by focusing on what’s still possible or meaningful. This mental shift redefines suffering as part of a larger journey rather than an isolated, hopeless ordeal.

By being aware of pain’s relationship to joy, you cultivate compassion and courage for yourself and others in times of hardship.

Examples

• Reflecting on the joy a loved one brought instead of only mourning their absence.
• Cancer survivors appreciating life’s smaller pleasures post-recovery.
• Soldiers enduring wartime by cherishing letters and memories from home.

Takeaways

1. Confront uncomfortable emotions and memories instead of suppressing them to promote healing.
2. Design your environment to include visual and emotional beauty for inspiration and peace.
3. Take responsibility for your life by setting meaningful goals and pursuing them with focus.