Introduction
In his follow-up to the bestselling "12 Rules for Life," renowned clinical psychologist Jordan B. Peterson offers another set of guidelines to help navigate the complexities of modern existence. "Beyond Order: 12 More Rules for Life" builds upon Peterson's previous work, exploring the delicate balance between order and chaos that we all must strike to lead fulfilling lives.
While his first book focused primarily on the importance of imposing order on chaos, this sequel examines the potential dangers of too much order and the need to embrace some degree of chaos for personal growth and creativity. Drawing from a wide range of sources including psychology, mythology, literature, and personal anecdotes, Peterson presents a compelling case for finding equilibrium between structure and flexibility in our lives.
The book's central premise is that both order and chaos are essential elements of human existence, and that true fulfillment comes from learning to navigate between these two forces. Through his 12 new rules, Peterson aims to guide readers toward a more balanced and meaningful life, encouraging them to take on responsibilities, confront challenges, and pursue personal growth.
Rule 1: Do not carelessly denigrate social institutions or creative achievement
Peterson begins by emphasizing the crucial role that social institutions play in our lives. These structures, which include everything from family units to government systems, provide the framework within which we operate and find meaning. He argues that while it's easy to criticize these institutions, we often underestimate their importance in maintaining social stability and individual well-being.
The author points out that social institutions are not just external forces imposed upon us, but are integral to our psychological development and success. From the moment we're born, we start learning how to navigate the social world, acquiring skills, knowledge, and experiences that help us function effectively within society. This process of socialization shapes our understanding of what is valuable, how to solve problems, and how to behave in ways that benefit both ourselves and those around us.
Peterson warns against the tendency to dismiss or undermine these institutions without careful consideration. He argues that while they may have flaws, they have evolved over time to serve important functions in our lives. By carelessly tearing them down, we risk creating chaos and instability that can be difficult to recover from.
At the same time, Peterson acknowledges that there are times when established social rules may be inadequate or even harmful. In such cases, he advocates for strategic and thoughtful challenges to these norms, rather than wholesale rejection. This approach allows for necessary changes while maintaining the overall stability that social institutions provide.
The author also extends this principle to creative achievements, urging readers to appreciate and respect the efforts of those who have contributed to human progress and culture. He argues that by recognizing and valuing these accomplishments, we not only honor the work of others but also inspire ourselves to strive for excellence in our own pursuits.
Rule 2: Imagine who you could be, and then aim single-mindedly at that
In this rule, Peterson encourages readers to harness the power of imagination and focused effort to transform their lives. He draws an analogy to the ancient practice of alchemy, which sought to transform base metals into gold. While the literal pursuit of alchemy was misguided, Peterson argues that the metaphorical concept holds profound truth for personal development.
Just as alchemists believed in the potential of the materia prima (the primal element) to be transformed into anything, Peterson suggests that our lives are full of possibilities waiting to be realized. The key, he argues, is to first envision the person you want to become and then dedicate yourself wholeheartedly to achieving that vision.
This process of self-transformation is not easy, Peterson acknowledges. It often requires confronting internal chaos, overcoming fears, and pushing through adversity. He draws parallels to mythological heroes who face great challenges to bring order to a chaotic world. In the same way, we must be willing to confront our own psychological demons and impose order on our lives to achieve our goals.
Peterson emphasizes the uniquely human capacity for conscious thought and imagination, which allows us to envision and pursue novel paths for ourselves. Unlike animals, who largely follow predetermined patterns of behavior, humans can adapt creatively to their environment and even create entirely new ways of living.
The author encourages readers to find a compelling vision for their lives – whether it's accomplishing a specific goal, creating art, or pursuing a scientific question. Once this vision is established, the next step is to confront the chaotic psychological forces that may hold us back, such as fear of failure, lack of self-control, or various vices. By maintaining focus on our goals and gradually reining in these disruptive elements, we can become the heroes of our own stories.
Peterson stresses that this process of self-transformation is ongoing and requires consistent effort. It's not enough to simply imagine a better version of ourselves; we must actively work towards becoming that person every day. This might involve developing new skills, changing habits, or pushing ourselves out of our comfort zones.
Rule 3: Do not hide unwanted things in the fog
Peterson uses the metaphor of "fog" to describe the way we often deal with uncomfortable truths or persistent problems in our lives. Rather than confronting these issues head-on, we tend to push them into a mental fog, where they remain unresolved but continue to affect us subconsciously.
The author argues that this avoidance strategy, while tempting in the short term, ultimately leads to greater problems. He illustrates this point with the story of Dell Roberts, his father-in-law, who for years ate sandwiches off small plates without complaint, only to suddenly explode in frustration after two decades. This anecdote demonstrates how small irritations, when left unaddressed, can accumulate and lead to disproportionate reactions.
Peterson advises readers to be proactive in identifying and addressing issues as they arise, rather than allowing them to fester. This applies to various aspects of life, from personal relationships to work environments. He encourages paying careful attention to our emotions throughout the day, identifying what feels wrong or uncomfortable, and dealing with these issues promptly.
The author acknowledges that confronting problems can be challenging and may lead to temporary conflict or discomfort. However, he argues that this short-term difficulty is preferable to the long-term chaos that can result from ignoring persistent issues. By addressing problems early, we can prevent them from growing into more significant, potentially unmanageable challenges.
Peterson also points out that the "fog" we create to hide unwanted things can cloud our judgment and prevent us from seeing opportunities for growth and improvement. By clearing away this fog and honestly confronting our issues, we open ourselves up to new possibilities and a clearer understanding of our lives.
Rule 4: Notice that opportunity lurks where responsibility has been abdicated
In this rule, Peterson explores the relationship between responsibility and opportunity. He argues that taking on responsibilities, while often challenging, is essential for finding meaning and success in life.
The author uses the characters of Peter Pan and Captain Hook to illustrate two extremes of responsibility. Peter Pan represents eternal childhood and the avoidance of all responsibility, while Captain Hook embodies the negative aspects of adulthood, including strict authoritarianism and constant fear. Peterson suggests that the ideal lies somewhere between these two extremes.
As we mature, Peterson explains, we naturally take on more responsibilities. This process involves exchanging the unlimited potential of childhood for a more defined direction in life. While this may seem like a loss, the author argues that it's actually a necessary and beneficial transition. Taking on responsibilities provides structure and meaning to our lives, much like the rules of a game make it possible to play and enjoy it.
Peterson encourages readers to actively seek out responsibilities, both in their personal lives and in their communities. This might involve taking care of oneself, helping others, or taking on tasks that need to be completed at work or in social groups. While these added responsibilities may initially feel burdensome, Peterson argues that they ultimately lead to greater satisfaction and a sense of purpose.
The author also points out that areas where others have abdicated their responsibilities often present opportunities for growth and advancement. By stepping up to fill these gaps, we can demonstrate our value, develop new skills, and potentially improve our status within social hierarchies.
However, Peterson cautions against taking on more than we can handle. He advises a gradual approach to increasing our responsibilities, ensuring that we can manage them effectively without becoming overwhelmed. This balanced approach allows us to reap the benefits of responsibility while avoiding burnout or resentment.
Rule 5: Do not do what you hate
Peterson emphasizes the importance of staying true to one's values and beliefs, even in the face of social pressure or potential consequences. He illustrates this point with an anecdote about a client who left her job at a multinational company after it implemented a policy of banning certain words in the name of cultural sensitivity – a policy she found absurd and oppressive.
The author argues that compromising our core beliefs or suppressing our true selves to fit into a moral framework we disagree with is ultimately harmful, both to the individual and to society at large. Such self-censorship can lead to emotional distress, disordered thinking, and a sense of demoralization. Moreover, if everyone practiced self-censorship instead of standing up for their beliefs, it would create an environment where the unscrupulous could easily manipulate and control society.
Peterson acknowledges that challenging orders or norms we disagree with can be difficult and may lead to conflict. He advises readers to carefully consider their position and ensure they have the resources – time, energy, knowledge, and authority – to defend their beliefs effectively. However, he also recognizes that there may be situations where the social repercussions of non-conformity are too severe, in which case he suggests walking away and seeking out environments more aligned with one's values.
The author stresses the importance of being honest with ourselves about what we truly believe and value. He warns against the tendency to go along with ideas or practices we inwardly despise simply to avoid conflict or maintain social harmony. While this may seem like the path of least resistance in the short term, Peterson argues that it ultimately leads to a loss of integrity and personal authenticity.
This rule also touches on the broader theme of personal responsibility. By encouraging readers to stand up for what they believe in and not tolerate things they hate, Peterson is advocating for active engagement with the world around us. He suggests that by taking responsibility for our beliefs and actions, we can contribute to shaping a society that better reflects our values.
Rule 6: Abandon ideology
Peterson warns against the dangers of adhering too closely to ideologies, particularly those that offer simplistic explanations for complex problems. He traces the rise of modern ideologies to Friedrich Nietzsche's declaration that "God is dead," which signaled the erosion of traditional Judeo-Christian values in Western society. In the vacuum left by this shift, various new ideologies emerged to fill the void.
The author argues that many of these ideologies, while often well-intentioned, tend to oversimplify the world and attribute problems to vague, abstract villains such as class, sexism, or power imbalances. This oversimplification can lead to a dangerous form of resentment that Peterson calls "ressentiment."
Ressentiment, according to Peterson, is particularly harmful because it prevents individuals from taking responsibility for their own lives and working towards self-improvement. Instead, it fosters a victim mentality and encourages anger towards those who appear successful, viewing their achievements as illegitimate or oppressive.
Peterson advises readers to be wary of any ideology that claims to have simple answers to complex societal problems. He encourages critical thinking and a willingness to engage with nuance and complexity rather than accepting pre-packaged ideological explanations.
The author also emphasizes the importance of individual responsibility in contrast to ideological thinking. Rather than blaming abstract forces for one's problems, Peterson suggests focusing on what we can control in our own lives and working to improve ourselves and our immediate surroundings.
This rule ties into Peterson's broader theme of balancing order and chaos. While ideologies often promise to bring order to a chaotic world, the author argues that they frequently do so at the cost of oversimplification and the suppression of individual thought and responsibility. Instead, he advocates for a more nuanced approach that acknowledges the complexity of the world while still striving for personal growth and societal improvement.
Rule 7: Work as hard as you possibly can on at least one thing and see what happens
In this rule, Peterson emphasizes the transformative power of focused, dedicated effort. He uses the metaphor of coal turning into a diamond under intense pressure to illustrate how committing oneself fully to a goal can lead to extraordinary results.
The author acknowledges that working hard doesn't always come easily, even when we know it's beneficial. He attributes this difficulty to deep psychological impulses, particularly the id's desire for immediate gratification. However, Peterson argues that by committing ourselves to a goal, we can learn to channel these chaotic forces productively.
Drawing from his own experience as a PhD student at McGill University, Peterson describes how he and his classmates found that the more they dedicated themselves to their studies, the more their lives improved overall. This intense focus not only enhanced their academic skills but also improved their social abilities and mental organization, leading to a profound sense of satisfaction.
Peterson suggests that this process of applying focused energy towards a goal helps to unify our various psychological forces productively. Even elements like aggression, fear, or anxiety can be channeled towards achieving our objectives rather than manifesting as aimless, destructive behaviors.
The author emphasizes that the specific goal isn't as important as the act of committing oneself fully to it. Whether it's a career ambition, a creative project, or personal development, the key is to invest maximum effort and see what results. This approach not only leads to tangible achievements but also fosters personal growth, resilience, and a sense of purpose.
Peterson also touches on the idea that this kind of focused effort can help bring order to chaos in our lives. By dedicating ourselves to a specific goal, we create structure and meaning, which can have a stabilizing effect on other areas of our lives as well.
However, the author cautions against becoming overly rigid or obsessive in our pursuits. The goal is to channel our energy productively, not to become so fixated on a single objective that we neglect other important aspects of life. Balance is key, and Peterson suggests that the insights and skills gained from intense focus in one area can often be applied beneficially to other parts of our lives.
Rule 8: Try to make one room in your home as beautiful as possible
Peterson highlights the importance of creating and appreciating beauty in our immediate environment. He shares a personal anecdote about transforming his office at the University of Toronto from a drab, impersonal space into a warm, inviting room that even the administration began to show off to visitors.
The author argues that making room for beauty in our lives is not just about aesthetics, but about connecting with something fundamental to human nature. He points out that visual art and other aesthetic endeavors have been a crucial part of human culture throughout history, capable of communicating powerful ideas, inviting self-reflection, and inspiring a sense of awe.
Peterson suggests that as we age, we may lose touch with the idea of beauty, becoming dulled to the wonders of the world around us or too fixated on practical concerns to appreciate aesthetics. He encourages readers to recapture the childlike ability to be entranced by the simple beauty of everyday surroundings.
The author emphasizes that engaging with art and beauty is more than just a decorative pleasure. It can invite us to see the world in new ways and challenge our perceptions. He uses the example of early Impressionist painters, whose work was initially rejected but eventually taught people to see beauty in a new light.
Peterson also connects this rule to his earlier advice about cleaning one's room. While tidiness and order are important, he argues that beauty should not be neglected. Creating a beautiful space, even if it's just one room, can have a positive impact on our mental state and overall well-being.
The author suggests that the act of creating or curating beauty in our environment can be a form of self-expression and personal growth. It requires us to think about what we find meaningful and appealing, and to make choices that reflect our values and tastes.
Moreover, Peterson argues that surrounding ourselves with beauty can inspire us to strive for excellence in other areas of our lives. Just as a beautiful room can elevate our mood and thoughts, exposure to other forms of beauty – in nature, art, or human achievement – can motivate us to create beauty in our own work and relationships.
Rule 9: If old memories still upset you, write them down carefully and completely
Peterson delves into the importance of confronting and processing painful memories, particularly those from childhood. He argues that while it may be tempting to bury traumatic or uncomfortable memories, doing so can lead to long-term psychological distress.
The author explains that children have a very limited understanding of the world and interpret events in simplistic terms. As a result, memories from childhood can be distorted or incomplete. When these memories resurface in adulthood, they can cause disproportionate pain or anxiety because we haven't reexamined them with our more mature perspective.
Peterson encourages readers to actively investigate memories that cause them pain. He suggests writing down these memories in as much detail as possible, as this process helps to order our thoughts and feelings. By examining these memories as adults, we can often gain new insights and understanding that allow us to process the events more effectively.
The author shares an example of a patient who was able to heal from childhood trauma by reexamining the memory as an adult. This new perspective allowed her to see the situation more accurately and compassionately, leading to emotional resolution.
Peterson argues that this process of confronting and examining painful memories serves several purposes:
It helps us understand ourselves better by revealing the roots of our current behaviors and emotional responses.
It allows us to derive meaningful lessons from past experiences, which we can apply to our present and future.
It can lead to a sense of closure or resolution, freeing us from the ongoing emotional drain of unprocessed trauma.
It helps us develop a more nuanced and mature understanding of past events, potentially leading to greater empathy for others involved.
The author emphasizes that this process isn't about dwelling on the past or wallowing in negative emotions. Instead, it's about actively engaging with our memories to gain understanding and promote healing. By facing these memories head-on, we can often transform them from sources of ongoing pain into valuable life lessons.
Peterson also touches on the idea that this process of memory examination can be a form of personal narrative creation. By writing down and analyzing our memories, we're essentially crafting the story of our lives in a way that makes sense to us and helps us move forward.
Rule 10: Plan and work diligently to maintain the romance in your relationship
Peterson emphasizes the importance of putting consistent effort and planning into intimate relationships. He argues that successful marriages and long-term partnerships don't just happen by chance but require ongoing work and commitment from both parties.
The author uses the example of a couple in therapy who, when asked about their last date, realize it's been a very long time. He suggests that regularly scheduling time for romance and intimacy, even if it feels forced at first, can help rekindle the connection between partners.
Peterson draws an analogy to a traditional Scandinavian marriage ceremony where couples hold a candle together while reciting their vows. This symbolizes the higher principles of marriage – love, loyalty, and mutual devotion – and the idea that couples should work together to uphold these ideals.
The author breaks down the work of maintaining a relationship into several key areas:
Ongoing negotiation and trust-building: Each partner must reflect on their own desires and needs, then clearly communicate these to their partner. This requires trust and a willingness to be vulnerable.
Practical decision-making: Couples need to decide how to handle everyday matters like chores, career pursuits, and child-rearing. Whether using traditional gender roles or more flexible arrangements, explicit discussion of these issues can prevent problems later.
Maintaining intimacy: Peterson stresses the importance of making time for romantic moments and physical intimacy, even if it means scheduling them like appointments.
Shared goals and values: Couples should work together to define and pursue shared aspirations, creating a sense of partnership and mutual support.
Continuous growth: Both individuals should support each other's personal development and be willing to adapt as their partner changes over time.
The author acknowledges that this level of effort and planning might seem unromantic or formal at first. However, he argues that the love and connection fostered through these intentional actions are just as genuine as spontaneous expressions of affection.
Peterson also touches on the idea that relationships require a balance between individual identity and shared experience. While it's important to maintain one's own interests and sense of self, successful long-term relationships also involve creating a shared narrative and set of experiences.
The author emphasizes that this ongoing work in relationships is not just about avoiding conflict or maintaining the status quo. Instead, it's about actively building a deeper, more meaningful connection over time. By putting in this effort, couples can create a relationship that is not only lasting but also continually enriching and fulfilling for both partners.
Rule 11: Do not allow yourself to become resentful, deceitful, or arrogant
Peterson explores the dangers of falling into negative patterns of thinking and behavior, particularly resentment, deceit, and arrogance. He frames this discussion in terms of the stories we tell ourselves about our lives and the world around us.
The author argues that humans naturally interpret the world through narratives, and these stories shape our psyche and actions. He identifies several archetypal characters that appear in our personal narratives:
- Nature: Representing both chaos and potential, appearing as both destructive forces and nurturing aids.
- Culture: Encompassing security and tyranny, represented by wise leaders and authoritarian figures.
- Hero and Adversary: Navigating between Nature and Culture, embodying responsibility and negativity respectively.
Peterson warns that focusing too much on the negative aspects of these archetypes – the cruelty of nature or the tyranny of culture – can lead to resentment. This resentment, in turn, can drive people to act deceitfully, justifying dishonest behavior as a means of getting ahead in an unfair world.
The author also cautions against the arrogance that can arise from these negative narratives. When we position ourselves as victims of circumstance or believe we're more clever than the systems around us, we risk overestimating our own power and importance.
Instead, Peterson advocates for a more balanced narrative that acknowledges both the positive and negative aspects of life:
- Recognize that while nature can be cruel, it also provides opportunities and blessings.
- Understand that while some authority figures may be tyrannical, many societal structures exist to benefit us if we engage with them properly.
- Accept personal responsibility for navigating life's challenges rather than blaming external forces.
By adopting this more nuanced perspective, Peterson argues that we can avoid the pitfalls of resentment, deceit, and arrogance. Instead, we can approach life with gratitude, honesty, and humility, which are more likely to lead to personal growth and fulfillment.
The author emphasizes that this shift in narrative isn't about denying the existence of unfairness or hardship. Rather, it's about choosing to focus on what we can control and influence, rather than dwelling on perceived injustices.
Peterson also touches on the idea that our personal narratives don't exist in isolation. The stories we tell ourselves influence our actions, which in turn affect those around us. By cultivating more positive and balanced narratives, we can contribute to creating a better environment for ourselves and others.
Rule 12: Be grateful in spite of your suffering
In the final rule, Peterson addresses the challenging topic of gratitude in the face of suffering. He acknowledges that life inevitably involves pain, loss, and misfortune, and questions how we can endure these difficulties without succumbing to despair.
The author begins by referencing a poignant moment from the Bible where Jesus, nearing death on the cross, cries out, "My God, why hast thou forsaken me?" This example illustrates that even figures revered for their strength and divinity can struggle with suffering, highlighting the universal nature of this human experience.
Peterson argues that the key to enduring suffering lies in recognizing the balance between good and bad in life. He suggests that the very existence of suffering implies the possibility of joy and happiness. In other words, we can only experience pain because we have also experienced pleasure.
The author explores various ways people cope with suffering:
- Practical alleviation: Changing actions, behaviors, or circumstances to reduce suffering.
- Psychological transcendence: Drawing on inner strength or looking towards a higher calling to push through difficult times.
Peterson acknowledges that sometimes suffering can seem so overwhelming that it leads to despair. He references the anti-natalist philosophy, which argues that since life inevitably involves pain, it's immoral to bring children into the world. He also touches on the topic of suicide as an extreme response to suffering.
However, the author counters these perspectives by emphasizing that the presence of suffering necessarily implies the existence of its opposite – joy, pleasure, and happiness. He argues that breakups hurt because relationships provide warmth and companionship, and the loss of a loved one is painful because they offered love and support.
Peterson encourages readers to cultivate gratitude even in the midst of suffering. He suggests that difficult experiences can provide valuable insights and perspectives that contribute to personal growth. Rather than becoming bitter, he advises appreciating the good aspects of life and working to expand on them for oneself and others.
The author also touches on the idea that suffering can be a catalyst for change and improvement. By facing and overcoming challenges, we can develop resilience, compassion, and a deeper appreciation for life's positive aspects.
Peterson concludes by emphasizing that gratitude in the face of suffering is not about denying or minimizing pain. Instead, it's about maintaining a balanced perspective that acknowledges both the difficulties and the blessings in life. This approach, he argues, can help us find meaning and purpose even in the most challenging circumstances.
Conclusion
"Beyond Order: 12 More Rules for Life" offers a comprehensive guide to navigating the complexities of modern existence. Through his 12 rules, Jordan B. Peterson encourages readers to strike a balance between order and chaos, take on responsibilities, confront challenges, and pursue personal growth.
The book emphasizes the importance of:
- Respecting social institutions while being willing to challenge them when necessary
- Imagining and working towards becoming our best selves
- Confronting problems directly rather than hiding them
- Seeking out responsibilities and opportunities
- Staying true to our values and beliefs
- Avoiding simplistic ideologies
- Committing fully to at least one meaningful pursuit
- Creating beauty in our environment
- Examining and learning from painful memories
- Actively maintaining romantic relationships
- Avoiding resentment, deceit, and arrogance
- Cultivating gratitude even in the face of suffering
Throughout the book, Peterson draws on a wide range of sources, from psychology and mythology to literature and personal anecdotes, to illustrate his points. He encourages readers to take an active role in shaping their lives and the world around them, emphasizing personal responsibility and the potential for growth and transformation.
While acknowledging the inevitable challenges and suffering that life presents, Peterson ultimately offers a message of hope and empowerment. By following these rules and striving for a balance between order and chaos, he suggests that we can find meaning, purpose, and fulfillment in our lives.
The book serves as both a practical guide and a philosophical exploration, challenging readers to examine their beliefs, behaviors, and aspirations. It encourages a thoughtful, nuanced approach to life that recognizes both the potential for improvement and the complexities of human existence.
In essence, "Beyond Order" is a call to embrace life's challenges, cultivate personal growth, and strive for a meaningful existence that balances structure and flexibility, responsibility and opportunity, suffering and gratitude. It offers a roadmap for those seeking to navigate the often turbulent waters of modern life with purpose, integrity, and resilience.