Create Space

Do you ever feel like your schedule is so packed that there's no room left for your own growth? Creating space for reflection, connection, and action might just be the secret to a better, more fulfilling life and career.

1. Reflection Boosts Self-Awareness and Decision-Making

Reflection allows us to gain a better understanding of ourselves, which is essential for making thoughtful decisions and improving how we approach work and life. Renowned thinkers like Socrates and Confucius have long extolled the value of self-reflection, and for good reason: it aligns actions with self-awareness. Reflection sharpens decision-making because it entails reviewing outcomes and learning from past behaviors.

Reflection requires space—temporal for uninterrupted time, physical for a conducive environment, relational to discuss ideas with a trusted partner, and psychic to be mentally open. For instance, CEOs manage to carve out only 28 minutes of solitary focus daily, despite its importance. Regular reflection not only avoids mistakes but also ensures personal growth.

Challenging as it may be, reflecting can sometimes bring unpleasant truths to light. Revisiting an argument with a colleague might unveil a personal lapse in judgment, yet accepting and addressing such discoveries enables growth. Like a UK study found, people who reflect on their day during their commute were both happier and more productive.

Examples

• A study showed commuters reflecting on their days were more satisfied and productive.
• A CEO successfully used reflection to identify gaps in his leadership approach.
• Socrates' philosophy promotes self-reflection as a key aspect of wisdom.

2. Learning Through Growth Mind-Sets

People either believe in fixed capabilities or in limitless personal growth. The latter empowers individuals to constantly improve, learning from failures and overcoming fears such as the fear of making mistakes, common among millennials. Thanks to neuroscience research on neuroplasticity, we know the brain keeps evolving based on what we feed it.

Rachel, a high-achieving professional, constantly feared making a mistake, stemming from her childhood trauma involving her mother's financial struggles. Through reflection and coaching, she composed a new narrative that normalized failure as part of learning. By changing her perspective, she became more open to seeking help and, ultimately, less fearful.

Adopting a growth mind-set also means creating a mental space for learning. This involves scheduling time for growth, choosing supportive environments, and seeking guidance from mentors or colleagues. As Rachel learned, facing fears head-on with a willingness to grow leads to long-term progress.

Examples

• Rachel overcame crippling fear of failure by reframing her life narrative.
• Neuroscientist Michael Merzenich demonstrated how the brain adapts continuously.
• Millennials, stressed about falling short, benefit greatly from growth-focused thinking.

3. Emotional Check-ins Foster Stronger Self-Connection

Understanding one's emotions is a gateway to building meaningful relationships. Strong emotions, if left unchecked, can control decisions. Regular emotional check-ins, where you pause and assess your feelings and physical state, help you stay grounded and in charge of your actions.

A simple technique involves sitting quietly, identifying your emotions, and rating their intensity. If you're overwhelmed, visualizing emotions from a third-party perspective can reduce their control over you. This enhances emotional intelligence, a crucial skill for managing ourselves and connecting to others.

Connecting inwardly also uncovers the psychological roots of why we behave certain ways. Many of these "core pathogenic beliefs," born from early life experiences, shape our decisions poorly. For instance, Rachel's fear of failure was rooted in childhood insecurity, underscoring how unexamined beliefs can hold us back. Addressing these creates space for healthier growth.

Examples

• Emotional intelligence helps leaders make empathetic, relationship-focused choices.
• Rating feelings helped a client recognize overwhelming anxiety and manage it.
• Core beliefs like “I am unworthy of love” were undone through coaching.

4. Open Sharing Strengthens Workplace Dynamics

Creating spaces for sharing and openly relating sets the foundation for thriving teams and vibrant work environments. Beata’s team avoided raising conflicts, fearing it might upset relationships, which led to unresolved issues stifling productivity. Once they embraced feedback and vulnerability, their performance soared.

Transparency nurtures a sense of safety. Team members feel freer to speak up, which allows risks to be managed effectively and creates opportunities for collaboration. Transparency isn’t just professional; it’s also tied to personal well-being.

Similarly, personal relationships benefit from a proactive approach. Mapping out your connections with a "stakeholder map" helps visualize which relationships require nurturing. By improving these bonds, stress declines, and personal fulfillment grows, benefiting both your work and home life.

Examples

• Beata’s team flourished after adopting transparent communication.
• A stakeholder map improved key family and business relationships for the author.
• Feedback and open dialogue make teamwork more efficient and engaged.

5. The Role of Planning in Productivity

Spontaneity can be exciting, but planning is the engine of sustained productivity. Darren, the charismatic co-leader of Red Technologies, avoided setting goals, creating chaos and inefficiency within his team. A lack of clear objectives left employees unsure of how to prioritize.

Planning involves defining goals and breaking them down into actionable steps. Take the author’s book-writing process. He planned to write 10,000 words monthly by tackling small daily tasks, ensuring his progress was steady. A well-structured plan ensures focus and prevents distractions from derailing progress.

However, planning doesn’t mean rigidly sticking to scripts. Flexibility is necessary to adjust both personal and organizational goals according to evolving circumstances. Revisiting plans periodically ensures relevance.

Examples

• The author used planning to hit word count goals for this very book.
• Darren’s leadership chaos was remedied after structured strategies were introduced.
• Monthly check-ins helped recalibrate team efforts toward measurable achievements.

6. Combat Distractions to Preserve Mental Space

Constant distractions limit productivity and make tasks harder to complete. Studies reveal that average workers can't sustain their concentration for more than eight seconds on a task without interruptions.

Modern technology like phones and email notifications hijack attention with dopamine-driven rewards. To combat these disruptions, turning off notifications or hiding phones during work keeps the mind focused. Similarly, working in peaceful spaces minimizes open-office distractions.

An approach called the "4D Rule" helps prioritize tasks by categorizing them into "Do, Defer, Delegate, or Drop," guiding how to tackle urgent demands systematically.

Examples

• A CEO boosted focus by silencing technology notifications.
• The 4D framework was implemented to prioritize urgent versus non-essential tasks.
• Workers reclaimed flow states by reserving physical quiet zones around the office.

7. Empower Leaders Through Delegation, Not Directness

Yulia’s natural fix-it tendencies as a CEO impeded her team’s growth. She monopolized the leadership space by giving answers instead of empowering self-sufficiency among her employees. Growth in leadership requires trust and focus on guiding people to their own solutions.

Delegation is not about simply offloading work but rather helping employees grow their competence. A good leader assigns tasks aligned with their team’s strengths and career goals. Yulia eventually learned to ask better questions, giving rise to independent problem-solving on her team.

When leaders shift from solving problems to inspiring others, they empower teams to reach their full potential without unnecessary dependency.

Examples

• Yulia helped her senior leaders grow by stepping back and letting them problem-solve.
• A manager learned delegation builds trust and strengthens employees' confidence.
• Leaders applied Lao Tzu’s “best leadership is invisible” philosophy in boardrooms.

8. Rediscover Your Purpose, Build Balance

Too often, career paths drift far from our true passions. Oscar’s work made him unhappy because it conflicted with his love for farming. Once he recognized this truth, he resigned to pursue the life he desired.

Reflecting on deathbed regrets—like people working in jobs they disliked due to societal pressures—can help us realign with our authentic values. Create a "life well lived" by reconnecting with activities that bring joy, and balance your work-life mix with restorative habits, including quality sleep.

Redefining goals and priorities can ensure long-term happiness and sustainability in one’s personal and professional pursuits.

Examples

• Oscar left a high-paying corporate role for fulfilling farm work.
• Overworked individuals who reclaimed work-life balance avoided hospital visits.
• Imagining six months left to live helped clients reset career and family goals.

9. Balancing Costs for Life’s Opportunities

Pursuing growth often involves tough choices. Almantas had to relocate internationally to advance his career, a decision with significant perils for his family. In hindsight, this bold move aligned perfectly with his leadership ambitions, validating the effort.

Scheduling weekly "No. 1 Meetings" allows individuals to track growth and adjust strategies without slipping off course. This alone is transformative when evaluating resource allocation, personal accountability, or clarity around vision.

Growth means accepting trade-offs. Still, every small step toward a bigger goal matters.

Examples

• Almantas’ relocation turned tough short-term adjustments into career advancement.
• Clients used personal strategy meetings as markers to evaluate career decisions.
• New opportunities helped a senior executive reenter an industry more aligned to personal interests.

Takeaways

1. Schedule a weekly “No. 1 Meeting” to reflect on goals, challenges, and distractions.
2. Adopt "square breathing" to ground yourself during stressful moments and enhance focus.
3. Use the 4D Rule—Do, Defer, Delegate, Drop—to keep your task lists meaningful and manageable.