First They Killed My Father Summary

What is greater than the horror of genocide? Perhaps it is the strength of the human spirit to endure and survive even the most unimaginable pain and loss.

1. A privileged life shattered in a single day

Loung Ung's early years were spent in privileged comfort in Phnom Penh, where her family enjoyed middle-class status thanks to her father's position as a military official. Her life was filled with simple luxuries, such as going to school, eating out, shopping, and enjoying the safety of a modern apartment.

Everything changed on a fateful day in April 1975, when the Khmer Rouge marched into Phnom Penh. Their presence marked the beginning of an oppressive regime that would uproot families and lead Cambodia into one of its darkest periods in history.

From her balcony, Ung witnessed a transformation in her world. Her family quickly packed their belongings and fled, joining thousands of other city dwellers as the Khmer Rouge forcibly evacuated Phnom Penh, turning residents' lives into chaos.

Examples

• Ung's father drove a rare Mazda sports car, a symbol of their social status.
• The Khmer Rouge soldiers used megaphones to order everyone to leave the city or face death.
• Tens of thousands of people joined the mass exodus, abandoning their homes and possessions.

2. The façade of a peasant family

To survive under the Khmer Rouge, Ung’s father realized the family had to conceal their true background, as they were seen as enemies of the new regime. The Khmer Rouge persecuted anyone associated with the previous government or viewed as elite city dwellers.

At a checkpoint, Ung’s father lied about his profession, claiming to be a simple farmer, while her mother pretended to be a market seller. It was a continuous game of deception to avoid suspicion.

The Khmer Rouge's vision of equality excluded many, including those of mixed ethnic backgrounds like Ung's family due to her mother’s Chinese-Cambodian heritage. Every element of their identity posed a threat to their survival.

Examples

• Ung’s father claimed he was a farmer to pass the checkpoint inspection.
• The Khmer Rouge classified urban dwellers and intellectuals as suspect “new citizens.”
• Ung’s family feared that being discovered as ex-government associates or Chinese-Cambodians would lead to death.

3. Life as forced laborers in the countryside

Ung’s family was forcibly resettled in a rural village, where they were required to perform grueling agricultural labor under harsh conditions. City dwellers like them, labeled third-class citizens, were treated as inferior.

The labor was relentless, with tasks such as planting rice, building dams, and digging trenches. Despite their hard work, food was scarce, and starvation loomed over the family and others like them.

Survival often meant sacrificing dignity. Ung’s brother Kim accepted a job as a servant for the cruel village chief, enduring daily abuse to bring home leftovers for his family.

Examples

• Two-thirds of new arrivals in the village perished from starvation or illness within five months.
• Ung’s family worked every day, from sunrise to sunset, on projects designed to serve the regime.
• Kim endured beatings to secure food scraps, showing the lengths the family had to go to survive.

4. A sister taken by force

Though they lived in constant fear and silence, the family found small solace in being together. That fragile stability was shattered when Khmer Rouge soldiers arrived to take teenagers, including Ung’s older sister Keav, to labor camps.

Keav promised the family she would survive, but she soon succumbed to dysentery in the camp’s squalid conditions. The regime had eliminated trained medics, leaving sick children to languish in makeshift hospitals.

Keav’s death represented the devastating ripple effects of the Khmer Rouge’s disregard for human life, showing how families were torn apart.

Examples

• Keav was taken to a labor camp where teenage girls worked under inhumane conditions.
• The supposed hospital for the sick lacked doctors, nurses, and even basic medicine.
• Keav died isolated from her family after enduring months of malnutrition and neglect.

5. Betrayed by the truth

The family’s fears were realized when Ung’s father was discovered to have been a military official. Khmer Rouge soldiers came for him, and he was never seen again. Like countless others, he was likely executed in a mass grave.

Ung’s mother feared for the lives of the remaining family members, knowing the regime often killed relatives of their perceived enemies. With no safe options left, she made the painful choice to have her children disperse and live as orphans.

This decision marked the end of their physical family bond but became the reason Ung and her siblings survived the horrors to come.

Examples

• Ung’s father was taken by soldiers in December 1976 and presumed killed.
• The Khmer Rouge policy targeted entire families of those they labeled traitors.
• The children fled the village alone, pretending to be orphans to evade execution.

6. A mother's ultimate sacrifice

Driven by desperation, Ung's mother sent her children away for their own safety, choosing to stay behind with their youngest sibling, Geak. While the decision was heart-wrenching, it was an act of selfless love.

Ung later returned to her village, only to learn that her mother and Geak had been taken by soldiers. Their fate was never confirmed, but it was safe to assume they had been executed.

The knowledge that her mother’s sacrifice had saved her life motivated Ung to endure and find meaning in her survival.

Examples

• Ung’s mother told her children to scatter in different directions to avoid detection.
• The villagers described the soldiers taking away Ung’s mother and sister.
• Geak’s young age made it impossible for her to survive independently.

7. Life in an orphan labor camp

Ung found temporary refuge in a work camp for orphaned children. Her days were spent on grueling labor, though she continued to harbor the trauma and fear of losing her family.

The harsh conditions of the camp mirrored the widespread suffering of Cambodians under the Khmer Rouge, with little food, constant surveillance, and forced labor.

Despite her hardships, Ung’s determination not to lose hope sustained her through the bleakest times. Her survival became a testament to resilience.

Examples

• Ung worked long days in orphan labor fields, sharing meager rations with others.
• She lived in constant fear of being discovered as part of a "traitor’s" family.
• Despite immense loss, Ung held onto the will to survive.

8. Liberation and escape

In 1979, the Khmer Rouge began losing power as Vietnamese forces entered Cambodia. This led to the eventual downfall of the regime, though the scars left behind linger to this day.

Ung’s surviving siblings reunited, and her eldest brother Meng used what little money he had to secure their escape. He chose Ung to accompany him to America, allowing her to begin a new life.

This escape marked the start of Ung’s journey to healing, while ensuring her family’s story would not be forgotten.

Examples

• Vietnamese soldiers liberated much of Cambodia, ending mass executions.
• Meng prioritized education for Ung, believing she could rebuild her life in the U.S.
• In 1980, Ung arrived in America, far from the anguish of the past.

9. Family bonds that cannot be broken

Throughout the genocide, the bond between Ung and her siblings remained a source of strength. Though separated by tragedy, they held memories of their family and promises to one day rebuild.

Ung’s struggles and survival are a reminder that even amidst destruction, human connection endures. Her ability to tell her story became a way to honor those who perished and to ensure their lives were remembered.

Examples

• Memories of her siblings kept Ung motivated, even when separated from them.
• Surviving together gave Ung and Meng a sense of purpose after escaping Cambodia.
• Sharing her story allowed Ung to preserve her family’s legacy for future generations.

Takeaways

1. Never underestimate the strength of family bonds during times of hardship; they can provide emotional survival in even the darkest moments.
2. Seek to preserve and share difficult stories, as they serve as an act of justice and remembrance for those who can’t speak for themselves.
3. Strive to adapt and persevere, even when circumstances demand difficult and painful choices – they may lead to survival and hope.