Girl, Wash Your Face

“What if you could start believing in your ability to change your life today instead of waiting for someone or something to give you permission?”

1. Keep Promises to Yourself

Each time we fail to honor our own commitments, we chip away at our self-respect and trust. It’s like being let down repeatedly by a friend—we’d eventually lose faith in them, right? The same happens internally when we don't follow through on our personal promises.

Breaking a promise may seem minor—a missed jog here, a canceled diet day there—but it adds up. The damage becomes a pattern of self-disappointment, making it harder to trust ourselves in more significant matters. To counter this, start small. Set realistic goals so achievable that you can stick to them, then gradually raise the bar as you build discipline and confidence.

By keeping promises, we pave the way for a healthier relationship with ourselves. This self-respect boosts our motivation in all areas, fostering a cycle of achievement instead of disappointment.

Examples

• Choosing to run one mile weekly rather than aiming immediately for a marathon.
• Consistently attending that French class, even if progress feels slow.
• Dropping the habit of canceling early morning workouts in favor of hitting snooze.

2. Pursue Your Dreams Relentlessly

Your dreams are yours to protect and pursue, even if everyone else doubts them. Success doesn't depend on others' approval or immediate results. It requires patience, determination, and a refusal to quit.

Often, external opinions or fear of failure stops us. But stories like Julia Child's decade spent crafting her cookbook or James Cameron's 15 years creating "Avatar" remind us success takes time and resilience. The author faced rejection when publishers told her to make her book racier. Instead of conforming, she self-published and proved them wrong, selling 100,000 copies on her terms.

This proves we can't let anyone else write our story. Perseverance beats skepticism, but only if you're willing to stay the course and push through negativity.

Examples

• Self-publishing after rejection from traditional publishers.
• Julia Child writing for ten years before releasing her famous French cookbook.
• Ignoring naysayers to achieve an ambitious career move or academic goal.

3. Reshape Your Sex Life

Sex should be fulfilling, not lackluster. For many, a combination of insecurity and passiveness leads to dissatisfaction. By embracing her body and prioritizing her own pleasure, the author transformed her once miserable sex life into a vital, joyful element of her marriage.

Negative self-talk about our bodies often ruins the moment. Shifting to positive affirmations, like admiring your legs or hips, impacts perception and, by extension, your experience. It’s also crucial to openly communicate desires with your partner. This transparency ensures both parties are invested in each other's pleasure, creating deeper intimacy.

Finally, try building new habits. The author experimented with daily intimacy for a month. This broke monotony, encouraged exploration, and ultimately boosted her relationship.

Examples

• Daily positive self-talk to boost body confidence.
• Committing to ensuring personal pleasure during intimacy.
• Exploring intimacy regularly over time to find what reignites chemistry.

4. Embrace Life's Chaos

Life won't always go as planned. Especially in parenting or managing a household, chaos creeps in like an unexpected storm. The trick isn't fighting the chaos—it’s learning to thrive despite it.

Accepting the chaos doesn't mean abandoning control; it means controlling your response. When unexpected events arise, laughter can often replace frustration. Recognizing the absurdity in moments of turmoil lightens their weight and leads to creative problem-solving.

Additionally, accept help when it's offered. From big gestures like a family member volunteering babysitting to small things like a partner folding towels imperfectly, every bit relieves your burden.

Examples

• Laughing off pre-foster care interviews despite kids' unintended outbursts.
• Sharing responsibilities even if not done perfectly.
• Remaining calm when household appliances break unexpectedly.

5. Redefine Weight and Health

Shifting our focus from aesthetics to health tones down society’s undue pressure. Obsessing over an unachievable standard saps happiness, turning wellness goals into self-punishment.

A healthy body isn't about size. It’s about capability—walking upstairs without pausing for breath or keeping up with kids at park outings. Adopting gradual, feasible changes toward health yields lasting results.

Start small, like prepping balanced meals or revamping your Instagram feed to follow empowering, realistic health icons instead of unrealistic glamor shots. This way, health becomes a celebration of progress—not an exercise in shame.

Examples

• Unfollowing accounts promoting unhealthy beauty ideals.
• Choosing home prep for healthy snacks rather than processed alternatives.
• Walking daily and gradually increasing physical activity duration over time.

6. Connect with Diverse People

Surrounding ourselves with various voices enriches our worldview. Limiting interactions to those similar to us narrows growth opportunities and limits empathy.

The author’s friendships with people from different races, religious beliefs, and sexual orientations taught her valuable lessons in understanding other perspectives while exposing and tackling unconscious biases. Engaging with people unlike you doesn't just expand awareness but leads to unexpected joy, shared experiences, and strengthened community bonds.

Making small shifts like joining diverse clubs or faith groups can shift perspectives and help build broader connections.

Examples

• Building cross-cultural friendships that challenge internal biases.
• Changing faith communities to meet people of varied backgrounds.
• Participating in events with people outside your regular circle.

7. Focus on Tangible Goals

Clear visualizations and smaller, tangible rewards boost motivation better than vague hopes of eventual success. A fantasy purse, for example, transformed into the author's driving benchmark for billing higher consulting fees.

Concrete goals anchor us when curves or challenges arise. Imagining what fulfillment feels like upon reaching goals (dressing confidently after weight loss, enjoying freedom in a dreamed-of career move) provides emotional validation now while fueling persistence for tomorrow.

By anchoring dreams to clear incentive milestones, achieving even giant plans becomes manageable step-by-step.

Examples

• Visualizing career milestones with a concrete incentive (a purse symbolizing financial stability).
• Imagining the feeling of wearing clothes after meeting fitness goals.
• Structuring goals progressively—charging $10,000 per client after earlier, small rates.

8. Stop Comparing Yourself To Everyone Else

Comparison is toxic. Fixating on someone else's success, happiness, or appearance likely leaves you feeling inadequate or distracted. You’ve got one valid competitor: yesterday's version of you.

The author recommends filtering inputs carefully. If social media triggers envy, unfollow unhelpful accounts. Replace comparison with inspiration—supporting peers’ wins without detracting from personal progress lets healthy competition co-exist abstractly.

Our journeys aren’t identical timelines. Why waste precious energy comparing apples versus oranges?

Examples

• Exiting toxic comparison circles online or offline.
• Focusing instead on daily personal growth over impressing others.
• Finding joy in others achieving (removing envy-factor from defeats).

9. Say Yes to Help

Often we see accepting assistance as weakness when, in reality, asking for help keeps us afloat instead of drowning. From neighbors offering babysitting to spouses offering household support, taking offers strengthens community and preserves one’s sanity.

Refusing aid isolates us. In the author’s anecdote, refusing help absurdly parallels ignoring divine interventions like lifeboats rescuing struggles outright avoiding support.

Lean on others knowing teamwork builds stronger bonds overall collectively.

Examples

• Accepting babysitting bigger-complexity logistics-free.
• Asking partners simplifying shared-load minimizes guilt folding-clean delegation.
• Saying yes faster-friendly-family-assistance clears mental relief.

Takeaways

1. Start keeping small promises now to build self-discipline for bigger goals.
2. Let go of societal comparisons—celebrate your journey, not anyone else’s highlight reel.
3. Visualize dreams while setting progressive milestones to track success over time effectively.