Introduction
Marcel Proust, the renowned French author, might not be the first person you'd think of when seeking life advice. Yet, in "How Proust Can Change Your Life," Alain De Botton presents a compelling case for why Proust's insights are not only relevant but potentially transformative for modern readers. This book, a unique blend of literary analysis and self-help, explores how Proust's masterpiece "In Search of Lost Time" offers guidance on almost every conceivable life problem, transcending time and cultural boundaries.
De Botton's work, published in 1997, serves as both an introduction to Proust for newcomers and a fresh perspective for those already familiar with his work. It argues that Proust is not just a literary genius but a source of practical wisdom that can genuinely change our lives. Through a series of thematic chapters, De Botton extracts life lessons from Proust's writings and biography, presenting them in an accessible and engaging manner.
The Therapeutic Power of Reading
One of the central ideas in De Botton's book is that reading, particularly reading Proust, can be a deeply therapeutic experience. This notion challenges the common perception of reading as mere escapism or entertainment.
Feeling at Home in Art
Proust had a unique way of engaging with art. When looking at paintings, he didn't just admire their technical aspects but actively sought connections between the depicted figures and people from his own life. This approach made art more relatable and alive for him. De Botton suggests that by adopting this perspective, we too can feel more at home in the world of art. As we immerse ourselves in Proust's work, we begin to see parallels between his characters and our own lives, despite the apparent differences in time and social context.
This skill of finding personal relevance in art extends beyond Proust's work. It opens up a whole world of culture, from ancient epics to contemporary art, making them more accessible and meaningful to us. By learning to see ourselves and our experiences reflected in various artworks, we develop a deeper, more personal connection to culture as a whole.
Alleviating Loneliness
Another therapeutic benefit of reading Proust is its potential to alleviate feelings of loneliness. In our daily lives, we often experience a wide range of emotions and thoughts that we may not feel comfortable sharing with others. This can lead to a sense of isolation, as if we're the only ones experiencing these feelings.
Proust's novel, with its deep dive into the inner lives of a diverse cast of characters, offers a remedy to this isolation. As readers, we encounter characters grappling with similar thoughts, emotions, and experiences to our own. Whether it's lingering resentment over past conflicts or sudden awareness of our mortality, Proust's characters likely share these experiences. This recognition that we're not alone in our inner struggles can be profoundly comforting.
Self-Discovery Through Reading
Perhaps the most significant therapeutic aspect of reading Proust is the opportunity for self-discovery. As Proust himself wrote, "In reality, every reader is, while he is reading, the reader of his own self." When we engage with Proust's work, we're not just learning about his characters; we're learning about ourselves. The novel serves as a mirror, reflecting our own experiences, thoughts, and feelings back to us, often in ways we hadn't previously recognized or articulated.
The Value of Slow Reading
In our fast-paced world, where efficiency and speed are prized, Proust's lengthy and complex work stands as a counterpoint, advocating for the value of slowness and deep engagement.
The Challenge of Length
"In Search of Lost Time" is famously long – the Penguin Clothbound Classics edition spans 3,444 pages. It's not just the overall length that's challenging; Proust is known for his lengthy, complex sentences. One sentence in volume 5 is so long it could wrap around a wine bottle 17 times! This length and complexity have made Proust's work seem daunting to many readers.
Embracing Slowness
However, De Botton argues that this very challenge is what makes reading Proust so valuable. In a world where we're accustomed to consuming information in bite-sized pieces – tweets, short news articles, or even book summaries – Proust forces us to slow down. This deceleration creates space for nuance, contradictions, and complexities that are often lost in more concise forms of communication.
Proust was famously irritated by newspaper summaries that reduced complex events to a sentence or two. He felt these brief accounts flattened real people into stereotypes and discouraged empathy in readers. In contrast, "In Search of Lost Time" provides richly drawn, multifaceted characters, even for minor roles. This depth encourages readers to exercise their empathy and consider the complexities of human nature.
Fresh Perspectives
Another reason for the novel's length is Proust's commitment to describing the world with complete freshness, free from clichéd expressions. He takes the time to craft unique, vivid descriptions that challenge readers to see familiar things in new ways. For instance, instead of simply describing the moon as "silvery," Proust writes:
"Sometimes in the afternoon sky a white moon would creep up like a little cloud, furtive, without display, suggesting an actress who does not have to 'come on' for a while and so goes 'in front' in her ordinary clothes to watch the rest of the company for a moment, but keeps in the background not wishing to draw attention to herself."
This approach, similar to that of the Impressionist painters of his time, encourages readers to think differently about everyday experiences and objects. It's an invitation to see the world anew, with fresh eyes and heightened awareness.
Proust's Insights on Love
Despite the fact that Proust's narrator never finds lasting love, and that we know little about Proust's own romantic life, De Botton argues that Proust offers valuable insights into the nature of love and relationships.
The Gap Between Imagination and Reality
One of Proust's key observations about love is the often stark difference between our idealized version of someone and the reality. In the novel, young Marcel becomes fascinated with a girl named Gilberte. He dreams in loving detail about becoming her friend and having tea at her home. When this dream becomes reality, Marcel is initially entranced but quickly realizes that the real Gilberte, while wonderful, doesn't quite match up to the Gilberte of his imagination.
This scenario illustrates a common experience in relationships – the realization that our partners, no matter how wonderful, can't consistently live up to our idealized versions of them. Conversely, it's unrealistic for us to expect that our partners will always appreciate us with unwavering intensity.
The Fading of Passion
Proust argues that familiarity can dissipate even the most heated passions. He uses the example of the telephone to illustrate this point. When first invented, the telephone was seen as a miraculous device. But within a few decades, it had become a mundane object used for ordering ice cream or calling a tailor. Proust suggests that love often follows a similar trajectory – what once seemed magical becomes ordinary with time and familiarity.
Rekindling Appreciation
However, Proust doesn't leave us without hope for lasting love. He suggests that absence or deprivation can rekindle our appreciation for what we have. He uses the biblical story of Noah to illustrate this point. Noah, isolated on his ark, must have appreciated the land more than anyone else on earth, imagining it vividly in his mind.
While it's not feasible to sail away from our partners for extended periods, Proust's insight suggests that brief separations or moments of independence within a relationship can help partners see each other anew. Whether it's a night away or a day spent apart, these small "arks" can provide opportunities to rediscover the magic in our relationships.
Seeing Beauty in the Ordinary
One of Proust's most valuable lessons is his ability to find beauty and meaning in everyday life. This skill, De Botton argues, can significantly enhance our own lives.
The Discontented Aesthete
In an unpublished essay, Proust describes a gloomy young man sitting in his parents' Parisian apartment. The young man is unhappy because he longs for great art, fine food, and inspiring landscapes, but lacks the means to access them. Proust's solution to this discontent is surprising – he suggests a visit to the Louvre, not to view grand scenes of foreign lands, but to seek out the work of Jean-Baptiste Chardin.
Chardin's paintings depict ordinary domestic scenes – workers, housewives, simple still lifes of bread and fruit. By recommending Chardin, Proust is suggesting that the young man learn to see the beauty in his own everyday surroundings. The lesson is clear: art's most vital role is not to show us extraordinary scenes, but to reveal the magic in ordinary ones.
The Madeleine Moment
This idea is famously illustrated in "In Search of Lost Time" through the narrator's experience with a madeleine cake. As Marcel bites into the pastry, he's suddenly transported back to his childhood, recalling vivid memories of his aunt and their time together. This moment not only brings back memories but re-enchants Marcel's perception of his own life, transforming it from dull to magical.
Learning to See
But how can we cultivate this ability to see beauty in the ordinary without waiting for our own "madeleine moment"? Proust suggests that we can learn this skill by studying artists who have made it their life's work to illuminate the extraordinary within the ordinary.
In the novel, the adolescent Marcel visits a seaside resort, initially disappointed by its ordinariness. However, after meeting the fictional Impressionist painter Elstir and seeing his depictions of the area, Marcel begins to perceive the beauty in his surroundings. This illustrates how exposure to art can train us to see the world differently, finding beauty and interest in places we might otherwise overlook.
Proust's Practical Advice
Beyond these broader themes, De Botton extracts a wealth of practical advice from Proust's work and life. Here are some highlights:
On Insomnia
Proust, a notorious insomniac, found value even in sleeplessness: "A little insomnia is not without its value in making us appreciate sleep, in throwing a light upon that darkness."
On Reading Material
Proust believed that with imagination, anything could be interesting reading material. He was known to enjoy reading French regional train timetables, finding them as evocative as novels about provincial French life.
On Intellectual Snobbery
Proust warned against intellectual snobbery, noting that shared literary tastes don't necessarily make for good friendships. He valued kindness over intelligence in his friends, saying, "I do my intellectual work within myself and once with other people it's more or less irrelevant to me that they're intelligent as long as they're kind."
On Dating
Proust offered this timeless dating advice: "There is no doubt that a person's charms are less frequently a cause of love than a remark such as: 'No, this evening I shan't be free.'"
On Hosting Dinner Parties
To get the most out of dinner parties, Proust would move around the table with each course, ensuring he conversed with all his guests.
On Medicine
Proust had a complex relationship with medicine, summed up in this quote: "To believe in medicine would be the height of folly, if not to believe it were not a greater folly still."
On Making Friends
Proust was known for being an excellent listener, asking more questions than he answered. This approach, he found, was key to winning friends and influencing people.
On the Value of Books
Finally, Proust celebrated the purity of friendship found in books: "In reading, friendship is suddenly brought back to its original purity. There is no false amiability with books. If we spend an evening with these friends, it is because we genuinely want to."
The Transformative Power of Proust
De Botton's book makes a compelling case for the transformative power of engaging with Proust's work. "In Search of Lost Time" is not just a literary masterpiece but a treasury of wisdom that can expand our empathy, refresh our perception of the world, and offer insights that remain as relevant today as when they were written.
Reading Proust challenges us to slow down, to pay attention to the details of our lives and the complexity of human nature. It encourages us to find beauty in the ordinary, to appreciate the present moment, and to view our relationships with greater nuance and understanding.
Moreover, Proust's work serves as a mirror, reflecting our own experiences and inner lives back to us. Through his characters and observations, we come to understand ourselves better, recognizing our own thoughts and feelings articulated with remarkable precision and insight.
The lessons drawn from Proust extend far beyond literary appreciation. They offer practical guidance for living a more mindful, empathetic, and enriching life. Whether it's learning to see the world through an artist's eyes, understanding the complexities of love, or simply appreciating the value of a good night's sleep, Proust's insights touch on universal aspects of the human experience.
Conclusion
"How Proust Can Change Your Life" is more than just a literary analysis or a biography. It's an invitation to engage with one of the greatest minds in literature and to apply his insights to our own lives. De Botton shows us that Proust's work, far from being an intimidating literary monument, is a rich source of practical wisdom and profound insights into the human condition.
The book encourages us to approach Proust not as a daunting challenge to be conquered, but as a friend offering guidance and companionship. It suggests that the real value of reading Proust lies not in being able to say we've read him, but in allowing his words to change the way we think, feel, and live.
Ultimately, De Botton's work reminds us of the power of literature to shape our lives. It shows us that great books are not just sources of entertainment or intellectual stimulation, but tools for living better, more thoughtful lives. By engaging deeply with Proust's work, we can learn to see the world more clearly, to understand ourselves more deeply, and to live more fully.
As we navigate the complexities of modern life, Proust's insights – on love, art, friendship, and the search for meaning – offer a valuable guide. They remind us to slow down, to pay attention, to find beauty in the ordinary, and to cherish the richness of our inner lives. In doing so, they truly have the power to change our lives for the better.