I'm Still Here Summary

“When you believe in justice, every room you walk into is a room where your beliefs stand on trial.”

1. A Name Reveals More Than Identity

Austin Channing Brown’s name was chosen by her parents to project an identity that would enable her to navigate a white-dominated society. This choice revealed to Austin at a young age how race influenced perception. When a librarian doubted her ownership of the library card due to her “male” and perceived “white” name, it marked the beginning of Austin’s awareness of racial assumptions.

Growing up in mostly white schools during the color-blind era of the late 1980s, Austin encountered various forms of racism, from being called slurs to hearing classmates complain about affirmative action. These experiences exposed the underlying biases that “color blindness” tried to conceal.

Her realization deepened with incidents like a teacher openly confessing to racist judgments. Although well-intended, the teacher’s admission made Austin acutely aware of the subtle ways racism seeped into the daily actions and beliefs of those around her.

Examples

• A librarian doubting Austin’s name on her library card.
• Classmates blaming affirmative action for college rejections.
• A teacher admitting to fearing behavior issues when Black students sat together.

2. Embracing Blackness Alongside a Segregated History

Austin’s exposure to Black culture came through her family and a welcoming Black church after her parents’ divorce. Though initially teased for "talking white" in her new Cleveland neighborhood, she eventually embraced a culture that felt like home.

College provided her first experience learning from Black professors and immersing herself in deeper discussions about racial identity. A transformative trip to the South shed light on how American narratives minimize the horrors of slavery. Encounters with plantation guides who romanticized slavery and visits to lynching museums sparked difficult yet illuminating conversations.

White classmates often wanted to distance themselves from the shame of this history, a stark contrast to Austin’s awareness of its personal resonance. These moments solidified her resolve to dedicate herself to racial justice.

Examples

• Being teased in Cleveland for mannerisms perceived to align with whiteness.
• A plantation tour where guides claimed enslaved people were “happy.”
• Soul-searching conversations post-visit at a lynching museum.

3. Microaggressions Weigh Heavy on Black Women in White Workspaces

Working in white-majority Christian organizations, Austin faced daily microaggressions that were emotionally exhausting. Even small interactions often became reminders of exclusion and misunderstanding.

Colleagues might invade her personal space, like touching her hair without consent, or confuse her with another Black employee. Misguided compliments or assumptions about her background added to an already heavy load. Every interaction required patience, explanations, and vigilance to maintain her composure.

When these issues were brought up, they were often dismissed or resulted in the blame being shifted back to Austin. This chronic invalidation compounded the stress of simply existing in such workplaces.

Examples

• Co-workers attempting to touch her hair without permission.
• Mistaken identity when colleagues confuse one Black employee for another.
• Being criticized for “tone” in sensitive discussions with a boss.

4. Teaching White People About Racism Drains Emotional Reserves

Racial advocacy work forces Black individuals to act as counselors for white guilt. While sharing her own experiences during a church event, Austin watched white attendees pour their racial confessions onto her, rather than her white co-presenter. This pattern highlights how discomfort with guilt often shifts the burden of reconciliation onto Black individuals.

In another instance, organizing a tour of a Black neighborhood became untenable when white visitors, consumed by baseless fears of gun violence, refused to leave their coach. Austin had to prioritize the dignity and safety of her community by ending the program prematurely.

The exhaustion of helping others see their racial biases, coupled with uneven emotional labor, demonstrates how confronting racism can itself be a source of harm for Black advocates.

Examples

• White congregants lining up to confess their biases to Austin after a church event.
• A youth group’s fear during a Black neighborhood tour in Chicago.
• Confronting an enraged parent who undermined her authority based on her race.

5. America’s History Silences the Suffering of Enslaved People

Many Americans, like a woman in one of Austin’s diversity workshops, lack a full understanding of slavery and its deliberate cruelty. They view it as an accidental tragedy rather than a calculated system of oppression.

Slavery shaped every facet of American life, from the economy to societal structure, but is too often reduced in textbooks to sanitized bullet points. Ignoring the truth perpetuates misunderstandings and fails to confront systemic injustices that persist today.

Austin channels her anger about America’s incomplete historical narrative into meaningful work—drawing inspiration from moments of justified anger, like Jesus cleansing the Temple of corrupt merchants.

Examples

• A workshop participant sobbing over her new awareness of slavery's intentional cruelty.
• Misleading history lessons about slavery portraying slaves as content.
• The legacy of segregation trivialized to “minor inconveniences.”

6. Widespread Fear in a White-Centered World

Living in a white-dominated culture requires constant vigilance that breeds understandable fear. Austin and her husband habitually check in to confirm each other’s safety whenever they’re apart, reflecting the risks they face based on systemic racism.

This fear isn’t unfounded. Austin recounts her cousin Dalin’s harsh 10-year sentence for drug offenses, only to die in prison due to avoidable negligence. The story underscores harsher consequences inflicted on Black people, often in disproportionate and senseless ways.

Widely-publicized events like the Ferguson protests and Charleston church shooting further emphasize the daily threats Black communities endure while pushing the boundaries of their sense of security.

Examples

• Regular safety “check-ins” with her husband for reassurance.
• Her cousin Dalin’s death in prison after being struck by lightning during a preventable storm incident.
• Police militarization during Ferguson protests despite nonviolent demonstrations.

7. Racial Reconciliation Requires Radical Change

Superficial gestures toward diversity, such as hiring quotas or symbolic initiatives, fall short of progress. Austin critiques these efforts, urging organizations to shift toward restructuring power dynamics instead.

True reconciliation means changing the systems that create inequality, not just increasing visibility or awareness. Without making space for marginalized voices to lead, organizations risk maintaining symbolic inclusion at best.

Acknowledging mistakes and addressing injustices also must occur without centering white feelings. Real progress requires discomfort as a natural part of growth.

Examples

• Observing how Christian organizations proudly celebrated minimal diversity milestones.
• Insistence on structural changes, beyond “educational” race dialogues within companies.
• Advocacy for marginalized leaders gaining seats at the decision-making table.

8. The Burden of Hope Amid Slow Change

Austin recognizes that achieving racial equality will take generations of perseverance, even in the face of setbacks. She draws wisdom from history, reflecting on how enslaved individuals resisted despite knowing freedom was unlikely in their lifetimes.

The incremental nature of change doesn’t erase how far progress has to go, but it shows that improvement is possible, however gradual. This mindset helps Austin continue advocating, even without immediate transformation.

By acknowledging the limits of her impact, Austin avoids the despair of unmet expectations but remains committed to leaving a foundation for the future.

Examples

• Historical resistance by enslaved ancestors despite generational obstacles.
• Citing the Civil Rights Movement as proof that progress, though slow, is real.
• Imparting hope to younger generations while accepting tangible change takes time.

9. Anger Can Propel Change

Far from being a negative force, Austin believes anger holds transformative potential. Righteous anger, like that which Jesus displayed toward corruption, can dismantle unlawful structures and inspire bold justice efforts.

Rather than suppress anger, Austin finds purpose in channeling it toward productive actions, addressing the systemic injustices that fuel it. Anger becomes her driving force to continue the necessary conversations, no matter how uncomfortable or unwelcome they might be.

Understanding this form of energy ensures resilience—acknowledging that rage over inequality doesn’t have to become despair.

Examples

• Drawing on religious imagery of Jesus’s righteous anger to inspire activism.
• Highlighting James Baldwin’s essays on enduring fury over racial inequity.
• Using her frustration with biased institutions to push for transformative workspaces.

Takeaways

1. Educate yourself about America’s history of racial inequality using honest, accurate sources that reflect the voices of marginalized groups.
2. Create safe spaces for dialog while understanding that emotional labor should not always fall on those experiencing racism.
3. Translate your awareness into meaningful action by addressing both personal biases and structural inequalities in your environments.