In Order to Live Summary

"What does it mean to live as a human being, free from oppression, hunger, and fear?" Yeonmi Park’s journey to reclaim her humanity answers this profound question.

1. A Life Predetermined by Birth

In North Korea, every individual’s future is dictated by the songbun caste system they’re born into. This rigid structure imposes immense barriers on opportunities for education, livelihood, and upward mobility.

Yeonmi Park was born into a lower songbun, which meant she and her family constantly struggled to survive. Life in their hometown of Hyesan, near the Chinese border, was harsh, with frigid winters and frequent electricity outages. Malnourishment and poverty surrounded them, with families often resorting to selling possessions or even illegal activities for food.

Her father, ambitious despite their circumstances, turned to smuggling goods from China to make life somewhat better for his family. However, being locked into a caste system meant this success was fleeting and required constant bribes to avoid punishment. Park's youth was shaped by navigating this precarious inequity, knowing that her potential was limited by her birthright, no matter her efforts or aspirations.

Examples

• The songbun system classified citizens into three main categories and further subcategories, controlling access to education and jobs.
• Hyesan’s freezing climate coupled with no reliable heating left families, like Yeonmi's, in a vulnerable state.
• Despite success in smuggling, Yeonmi’s father was eventually betrayed, arrested, and sentenced to ten years in a harsh labor camp.

2. Hunger: A Daily Battle

Hunger defines the North Korean experience, where starvation becomes an omnipresent reality for many citizens. Food scarcity permeated Yeonmi Park’s life, as her family often survived on the bare minimum—if at all.

The government-controlled food distribution taught citizens dependence while failing to meet their basic needs. Bribery and smuggling became coping mechanisms for many families. Hunger not only gnawed at Yeonmi’s body but twisted her mind. To distract herself, she would even convince herself that certain weeds might fill her stomach like rice.

This unrelenting hunger also shaped an insidious moral compromise. Yeonmi recalls seeing children abandoned and scavenging alone in the streets. The ubiquity of suffering dulled her sense of empathy because dwelling on suffering posed its own threat to survival.

Examples

• Yeonmi’s family survived a period by eating roasted sunflower seeds and boiling grass for meals.
• Nationwide famine caused the government to stop regular food deliveries altogether in the 1990s.
• Amid conditions of malnourishment, rats feeding on human bodies became familiar street scenes in Hyesan.

3. A Window Beyond North Korea

Even in isolation, whispers of the wider world reached Yeonmi through illicit media smuggled into the country. These glimpses began to shatter her belief in the regime’s propaganda.

Living close to the Chinese border offered Yeonmi valuable exposure to South Korean TV shows, Hollywood movies, and Chinese broadcasts via pirated tapes and radio signals. Watching these, she discerned life elsewhere: freer, richer, and far different from the misery she knew. One unexpected lesson from foreign entertainment was the idea that people could express romantic and personal choices—something unimaginable under Kim’s repressive rule.

The more these media shaped her aspirations, the more Yeonmi saw through the regime’s lies. Yet discovery of such contraband could mean death. North Koreans lived with the ever-present danger of losing everything for daring to know more.

Examples

• Smuggled films like Titanic taught her the meaning of love and sacrifice beyond the regime’s propaganda.
• Chinese television broadcasts displayed abundant food—a stark contrast to North Korean shortages.
• Pirated soap operas provided her first insights into the spoken Korean dialect unique to South Korea.

4. Escaping North Korea’s Clutches

Fleeing North Korea meant risking death, imprisonment, or worse. Yet starvation and despair pushed Yeonmi and her mother into seeking a broker to guide them across the Yalu River into China.

Despite the risks, Yeonmi remembers gathering her courage as they hastily followed their guide under the cover of darkness. For many defectors, including Yeonmi’s family, the hope of finding freedom outweighed the fear of capture or death. But their joy was fleeting. As soon as they reached China, they realized they had entered the exploitative world of human trafficking.

The escape left scars not just from the external dangers but also from what had to be mentally endured—leaving loved ones behind and navigating unthinkable vulnerabilities. Yet, Yeonmi’s love for her family and determination to survive prevailed through it all.

Examples

• Eunmi, Yeonmi’s older sister, had defected alone before them, inspiring their desperate escape to follow her lead.
• The frozen Yalu River acted both as a crossing point and a symbol of the risks in seeking freedom.
• Brokers demanded heavy payment or bartered goods in exchange for crossing assistance.

5. The Nightmare of Human Trafficking

Life in China revealed a deeper horror. Women defectors, such as Yeonmi and her mom, often became slaves to traffickers—a reality harsher than their expectations.

Traffickers preyed on defectors’ desperation, selling women as brides or workers to poor Chinese men. Yeonmi was only a young teenager when she became trapped in these circumstances with her mother. To avoid deportation back to North Korea, women remained silent and endured frequent abuse.

This traumatic chapter deeply influenced Yeonmi’s later resolve to escape not just as a defector but as a voice against human trafficking. Constant fear of betrayal underscored her daily existence as she grappled to preserve her dignity and hope.

Examples

• Yeonmi’s mother was sold to a farmer, while Yeonmi became prey for a trafficking boss named Hongwei.
• Despite earning a semblance of protection under Hongwei, Yeonmi still bore emotional scars from abuse in her early teen years.
• Many trafficked women, stripped of identification or status, had no means to report their abuse to authorities.

6. South Korea Through a Refugee's Eyes

Yeonmi’s eventual arrival in South Korea was not an endpoint but the beginning of a new struggle. Adjusting to life there presented countless hurdles for North Korean defectors.

She underwent two weeks at the National Intelligence Center, ensuring she wasn’t a spy, before studying South Korean society at the Hanawon Resettlement Center. From learning about capitalism to understanding simple banking procedures, Yeonmi faced an entirely foreign system.

For people like Yeonmi's mom, receiving a stipend and citizenship was a beacon of hope. Yet, discrimination against defectors lingered—a harsh reminder that even outside North Korea, there remained battles of perception to fight.

Examples

• North Korean refugees needed exhaustive interrogation to prove their defector identities when arriving in South Korea.
• The Hanawon Center introduced defectors to societal norms alien to their closed-off reality under dictatorship.
• Yeonmi initially struggled with South Korea’s slang, expressing her “otherness” compared to native citizens.

7. Resilience Through Education

Through sheer determination, Yeonmi navigated her way through academics and molded a new identity. Her pursuit of an education symbolized her quest for a brighter future.

Starting by self-studying and passing South Korea’s high school equivalency test, Yeonmi eventually got accepted into university. She chose police administration, channeling her experiences to help others. Her ability to adapt and excel in a foreign curriculum surprised both herself and those around her.

Education became an anchor to a life of opportunity, serving as both personal healing and empowerment amidst an alienating societal context.

Examples

• Yeonmi spent marathon hours studying in university libraries to make up for the lack of formal education earlier in life.
• Passing her GED exam demonstrated her newfound confidence as she stood on equal footing with South Korean peers.
• Supportive mentors helped her transition academically during this challenging shift.

8. Becoming a Voice for Change

An impromptu public speech altered Yeonmi Park’s life forever, marking her transition from survivor to advocate. Speaking at her university, she shared her journey and uncovered her hidden potential to mobilize awareness.

This led to larger platforms, such as addressing the United Nations, publishing articles, and traveling the globe to highlight North Korea’s human rights abuses. Although disinformation campaigns by North Korea sought to invalidate her message, she grew increasingly determined to stand against injustice.

Advocacy became more than just storytelling—it was a channel through which Yeonmi reclaimed her voice and fought for others left behind in oppressive systems.

Examples

• Her viral speech at One Young World catapulted her into global advocacy against North Korean repression.
• She coauthored publications like her Washington Post columns to reach wider audiences.
• Threats and propaganda campaigns by North Korea aimed to intimidate her but failed to silence her.

9. Finding Strength in Family

Despite years of separation, overcoming challenges together with her family became Yeonmi’s cornerstone of hope and resilience.

After reuniting with her long-lost sister Eunmi, rebuilding family ties brought emotional healing. Together with her mom's newfound sense of peace and stability, they crafted a shared narrative of survival amid unimaginable odds.

Life continued, but family became Yeonmi’s constant source of strength, driving her forward in her educational and advocacy pursuits.

Examples

• Yeonmi’s reunion with Eunmi in South Korea symbolized the perseverance of love despite time and distance.
• Her mother found support and new happiness, building a renewed foundation post-escape.
• The shared bond from tragedies strengthened how they supported one another’s struggles.

Takeaways

1. Learn to question the narratives you grow up with; exposure to new ideas can dismantle longstanding beliefs.
2. Support organizations combating human trafficking and advocating for human rights worldwide.
3. Use your personal story to inspire and create change for others in similar circumstances.