Book cover of Leading Yourself by Elizabeth Lotardo

Elizabeth Lotardo

Leading Yourself

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Are you waiting for joy and meaning to find you, or are you ready to create them wherever you are?

1. The Career Comedown: Why Initial Excitement Fades

Starting a new job is often exhilarating, but this enthusiasm can quickly fade, leading to dissatisfaction and frustration—a phenomenon known as the "career comedown." High hopes can clash with day-to-day realities like tedious tasks or challenging bosses. When expectations don't align with reality, many people feel stuck.

The key to addressing this is self-leadership. Instead of passively waiting for their workplace to inspire them, successful individuals create opportunities for joy and fulfillment themselves. They focus on controlling their thoughts, behaviors, and relationships to reshape their work experience.

For example, someone overwhelmed by a demanding boss can choose to focus on improving communication and efficiency, which gradually builds trust and grants more autonomy. Similarly, those feeling uninspired can set personal goals or engage in work projects they find interesting to reignite their motivation.

Examples

  • Finding meaning in mundane tasks by focusing on their broader impact.
  • Transforming a micromanaging relationship into one based on trust through better communication.
  • Setting personal goals to shift from feeling stuck to feeling purposeful.

2. Purposeful Thinking: Aligning Your Role with Meaning

What if even the most routine tasks could feel meaningful? Recognizing how your role contributes to a larger outcome can transform your view of its importance. Seeing purpose in every action, no matter how small, can reinvigorate your enthusiasm for work.

Meaning is all around if you choose to notice. For example, employees at a call center found renewed energy after meeting clients who directly benefited from their services. Purpose can also stem from small gestures, like mentoring a new team member or solving a persistent workplace issue.

To cultivate this outlook, start by reflecting on how your daily actions impact others. Understanding how your role contributes to the bigger picture hones perspective, offering clarity and satisfaction in the process.

Examples

  • Call center staff gaining purpose after meeting customers impacted by their work.
  • Viewing small tasks like organizing team meetings as vital components of overall success.
  • Discovering meaning in helping a peer improve their skills.

3. Mental Flexibility: Avoiding Cognitive Ruts

Our brains naturally seek patterns, often leading us into mental routines that reinforce our current beliefs. While this tendency can feel safe, it limits growth. Being mentally flexible enables you to adapt, think critically, and embrace new perspectives—even when they're uncomfortable.

For instance, if you're convinced your ideas are overlooked, you may unknowingly only notice when this happens, reinforcing your belief. Breaking this cycle requires deliberate effort. Look for counterexamples, reevaluate your assumptions, and explore new ways of thinking to expand your potential.

Mental flexibility fosters creativity and problem-solving. It can transform challenges into opportunities, improve collaboration, and encourage a more balanced approach to everyday work dynamics.

Examples

  • Choosing alternative explanations to habitual negative thoughts.
  • Successfully pitching a new idea by overcoming assumptions of rejection.
  • Exploring new ways to solve difficulties instead of relying on old habits.

4. Courage in Action: 20 Seconds of Bravery

Taking risks can be frightening, but growth often requires moving through fear. Even brief moments of courage—what the author calls "20 seconds of insane bravery"—can lead to impactful change. In work settings, initiating tough conversations or stepping up for new challenges are acts of courage that redefine careers.

Fear often stems from imagining worst-case outcomes that rarely unfold. Moving past this fear starts with small, bold steps. Whether it's speaking up in a meeting or volunteering for a significant task, tiny moments of bravery can push the boundaries of what you think you can achieve.

Remember, opening doors to opportunity doesn’t demand continuous boldness but rather calculated moments of action that build momentum over time.

Examples

  • Using 20 seconds of courage to propose a new project idea.
  • Overcoming fear to ask for a raise or promotion.
  • Initiating a challenging yet necessary conversation with a supervisor.

5. Seeing Opportunity in Uncertainty

Uncertainty often sparks fear—but it can also kindle growth. Embracing change is easier when seen as an opportunity rather than a threat. Since situations are rarely fully controllable, focusing on your response can protect your mental well-being while keeping you forward-focused.

For example, an unexpected downsizing might seem devastating, but some individuals use it to reposition themselves into more fulfilling roles. This reframing converts risks into possibilities. Leaders shift focus from what can’t be controlled to what can.

Accept that certainty is an illusion. The ability to stay adaptive helps you thrive—not in spite of challenges, but because of how you learn to navigate them.

Examples

  • Viewing restructuring as a chance to grow into a new role.
  • Reframing failure by identifying lessons learned and applying them next time.
  • Adapting to sudden responsibility changes with a problem-solving mindset.

6. Realistic Goal-Setting: Consistency Over Intensity

Setting personal and professional goals is vital, but unrealistic objectives can undermine confidence. Instead of aiming too high and falling short, focus on consistent, achievable targets. This enables you to build self-trust and sustain long-term motivation.

Small, incrementally challenging goals keep you on track while creating a sense of accomplishment. Avoid overcommitting, as stretched timelines and unattainable goals lead to burnout. Instead, find a sustainable rhythm.

Balance ambition with feasibility to ensure continuous momentum. Success strengthens your ability to set and meet future goals effectively.

Examples

  • Committing to write five sentences a day instead of completing an entire report at once.
  • Meeting deadlines by setting daily priorities rather than overwhelming expectations.
  • Building momentum in fitness by exercising three times weekly instead of striving for unattainable benchmarks.

7. Managing Energy: Do What Energizes You

Energy is your most valuable resource at work. Prioritize tasks that boost your energy early each day to sustain performance and minimize burnout. People who master their energy focus on what recharges them, rather than letting exhaustion dominate their day.

Distinguishing between energizing and draining tasks is key. For example, schedule your most intriguing projects during your peak energy times. Delegate or defer activities when enthusiasm naturally wanes to maintain productivity.

The better you align work with energy flow, the more you’ll thrive in busy and demanding environments.

Examples

  • Tackling creative projects first thing in the morning when energy is highest.
  • Delegating administrative tasks during lower-energy periods.
  • Strategically protecting time blocks to avoid interruptions during optimal focus periods.

8. Strengthening the Boss-Employee Dynamic

A strained relationship with your boss can stunt workplace growth. Building a strong partnership starts with understanding their management style and aligning your actions to fit their priorities. Recognize that they face pressures, too, and treat challenges with empathy.

Proposals clearly framed as solutions to mutual goals resonate better. Clarify plans in writing to prevent misunderstandings, especially with demanding or unclear supervisors. Taking initiative for effective collaboration demonstrates your value.

Toxic bosses can affect your mental health—use boundaries, external support, and clear documentation to protect yourself from harm.

Examples

  • Anticipating a boss's preferences by observing their feedback patterns.
  • Offering a weekly structured goals list for approval to improve clarity and trust.
  • Documenting agreements in writing to safeguard yourself from later misinterpretation.

9. Developing Clear Relationships with Coworkers

Strong partnerships with colleagues depend on clear communication. Misunderstandings often arise from unspoken expectations, so state priorities upfront. Addressing issues directly fosters better teamwork and avoids resentment.

Negativity can spread quickly among peers, draining collective morale. Avoid gossip or complaints and try redirecting negative conversations toward solutions. Empathy and clarity foster better working relationships, even with less agreeable team members.

Managing difficult coworkers might require documenting commitments or setting preventative measures like buffer deadlines for joint projects, reinforcing trust and efficiency.

Examples

  • Redirecting negative office chatter toward actionable problem-solving steps.
  • Keeping written records of responsibilities to avoid disputes.
  • Aligning conflicting expectations proactively with team members.

Takeaways

  1. Actively redefine your work experience by focusing on what you can control—especially your mindset and relationships.
  2. Commit to small, regular steps of courage to overcome fear and open doors for career growth.
  3. Protect your energy by aligning your work schedule with tasks that inspire and motivate you most.

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