Making Habits, Breaking Habits

“Habits will form inevitably, whether by design or by default.” How can you harness this reality to shape a better life?

1. Habits Operate on Autopilot

Habits are actions performed automatically, often without conscious intention. They emerge from repeated behaviors that minimize the mental energy required for decision-making. For example, flipping a light switch when you enter a room is something you rarely think about; it simply happens.

Over time, habits become emotionally neutral. When you first see a breathtaking view from your office window, it might thrill you. But as days pass, that excitement fades, and the sight becomes just another part of your routine. This lack of emotional engagement can make habits feel mechanical.

Context also plays a big role in habit formation. The connection between environment and action helps lock a habit in place. For instance, sitting in the same chair at the dinner table may stem from an initial seating arrangement that's unconsciously reinforced over time.

Examples

• Automatically brushing your teeth after waking up.
• Feeling no excitement from daily routines like making coffee.
• Always sitting in the same seat in your favorite café because it feels “right.”

2. Our Lives Are Packed with Habits

Habits govern much more of our lives than we assume. It's not just the obvious routines like morning jogs or dieting; even unconscious responses in social settings or interactions can be habitual.

Many automatic habits can be harmless, even useful, but some operate without reward and block personal growth. Consider the psychological phenomenon of checking your email repeatedly, even when you know there's nothing new. This is an example of how actions are maintained by habit, not by actual benefits.

Additionally, mental habits often go unnoticed but can be just as disruptive. Negative thought patterns, like frequent self-blame or obsessive rumination, can impact mental health. These habits often start small but grow over time, influencing how individuals respond to challenges like job loss or personal setbacks.

Examples

• Refreshing social media or email endlessly without gaining satisfaction.
• Automatically saying "uh-huh" in meetings without truly engaging.
• Dwelling on failures endlessly instead of processing and moving on.

3. Habits Form Consciously and Unconsciously

Habits can begin intentionally or take root unconsciously. Sometimes they're born from direct goals—like brushing your teeth regularly for oral health. Other times, they form through the explanation of random actions after the fact.

Repetition solidifies habits. For instance, choosing the same seat in a room once due to convenience might eventually feel “right,” and you'll continue to do it. Such habits seem logical, but they often started without any deeper reasoning.

Combining intentions with explanations often helps reinforce habits. For example, riding a bike might begin as an exercise goal. Over time, you might continue biking to work because you enjoy the fresh air, making it a multilayered habit.

Examples

• Setting fitness goals that lead to jogging every morning.
• Repeating a seating choice because it feels habitual and comfortable.
• Biking to work, initially for health, but continuing for enjoyment.

4. Habits Can Be Visible and Invisible

While physical habits like nail-biting are obvious, some habits are invisible but just as impactful. Mental habits, such as how we frame our experiences, shape our emotions and decisions every day.

For instance, those who view events through a lens of helplessness or self-blame are less equipped to thrive under stress. A negative mindset can exacerbate difficult situations, like job loss, further fueling frustration or sadness.

Another example is rumination, the habit of revisiting past mistakes over and over. While self-reflection has its benefits, fixating on setbacks can trap people in a cycle of pain and self-doubt, preventing personal growth.

Examples

• Constantly criticizing yourself when things go wrong.
• Overanalyzing conversations and regretting what you said.
• Reacting defensively to feedback because of ingrained insecurity.

5. Creating Happy Habits

Forming positive habits is a skill, and with the right approach, anyone can do it. Success starts with clear motivation. For instance, identifying why you want to exercise can help you set a goal, such as running a 10km race.

Repetition is vital for embedding routines into daily life. By using strategies like “if-then” statements, you connect new habits to specific triggers. For example, “If I arrive home, I’ll immediately change into gym clothes.”

To make habits enjoyable, avoid falling into autopilot. Engage your senses during activities—like savoring the taste of your morning coffee—or switch things up periodically to keep routines fresh and stimulating.

Examples

• Linking daily runs to a visible end goal, like a marathon.
• Using “if I enter the kitchen, I’ll drink a glass of water” to increase hydration.
• Trying new routes for bike rides to keep the habit exciting.

6. Breaking Habits Takes Awareness

The first step to breaking a habit is recognizing it. Often, the consequences of bad habits—like weight gain or shortness of breath—are easier to notice than the habits themselves. Using mindfulness can allow you to reflect on behaviors moment by moment.

Mindfulness involves consciously observing your actions without judgment. Sitting quietly and focusing on your breath is one way to practice. This openness builds awareness of compulsive tendencies, allowing you to react differently over time.

Intentionality, combined with small adjustments, can break bad habits. For instance, chewing gum as a distraction when craving cigarettes reduces dependence on nicotine, while switching environments can weaken habitual behavioral triggers.

Examples

• Practicing mindfulness by sitting quietly and observing your thoughts.
• Using distractions like chewing gum to replace harmful habits.
• Moving to a new home and leaving old habits tied to the previous environment.

7. Self-Control is a Trainable Skill

Self-control may feel limited, but it works like a muscle—it strengthens with practice. Each small effort to resist a bad habit builds greater willpower over time, even if there are occasional failures.

Even attempting to break a habit has positive effects. For example, trying to quit smoking for a few days builds confidence in your ability to manage nicotine cravings in the future. Overestimating or underestimating self-control leads to frustration, so realistic goals matter.

Incremental challenges, like reducing bad behavior gradually, work better than outright elimination. Small wins provide the motivation necessary to stay on track, reinforcing the willpower muscle.

Examples

• Quitting smoking one day at a time, gradually increasing the duration.
• Avoiding frustration by using a step-by-step approach rather than major changes.
• Rewarding yourself after sticking to a change for a week.

8. Happiness Can Reinforce Positive Habits

For habits to stick, they need to bring joy. Simply repeating an action without satisfaction leads to mechanical behavior, which can make even the most beneficial habits feel like a chore.

Incorporating fun or personal meaning into habits nourishes their appeal. For example, taking different routes on a morning jog can make the experience more enjoyable. Likewise, savoring small rewards—like relaxing after completing a gym workout—keeps motivation high.

Breaking monotony keeps habits fresh. Whether it's adding variety to a meal plan or engaging senses intentionally, keeping a routine pleasant ensures it aligns with long-term goals.

Examples

• Exploring new parks while jogging instead of running the same route.
• Pausing to enjoy the smell and taste of food instead of rushing meals.
• Adding music to workouts to boost enjoyment.

9. Reshaping Your Environment Helps Develop New Habits

Environments influence behavior more than we realize. Creating spaces that encourage good habits—or discourage bad ones—makes changing routines easier. For instance, choosing an apartment where smoking isn't allowed supports a no-smoking goal.

Small tweaks can support positive actions. Keeping fruit on the table, instead of junk food, nudges you toward healthier eating. Similarly, using smaller dinner plates can help with portion control by making meals feel fuller.

Ensuring your environment aligns with your goals simplifies decision-making. By surrounding yourself with cues for success, you won’t have to rely solely on willpower.

Examples

• Moving to a smoke-free apartment when trying to quit smoking.
• Using smaller plates to prevent overeating.
• Storing workout clothes visibly to encourage morning exercise.

Takeaways

1. Create “if-then” habits by linking new routines to clear triggers (e.g., “If I wake up, I’ll drink water before coffee”).
2. Build awareness of habits through mindfulness and reflection on your daily routines.
3. Adjust your environment to make the desired behaviors easier to maintain (e.g., keeping only healthy snacks in sight).