Off the Clock

Time is the constant we all have in equal measure, but how we perceive and spend it determines the richness of our lives.

1. Keeping a time log reveals surprising truths about how time is spent

Most of us think we know how we spend our days, but Laura Vanderkam proves that assumptions about our time usage are often false. By logging her activities down to the minute, she discovered a vast gap between perception and reality. She believed she worked 50-hour weeks but found her average was closer to 40. Logging exposes where time goes, creating awareness needed for change.

Logging time often brings discomfort. People fear seeing how much time is wasted on trivial things or dread confronting the finite nature of life. Yet spilling this light over unknown moments can grant freedom. It allows us to make intentional decisions, replacing unproductive habits with meaningful ones.

As Vanderkam realized, tracking can also empower us to spend time differently. Noticing she spent 327 hours per year reading gossip magazines, she transitioned to higher-quality books, which enriched her experience. The process is simple but demands honesty and effort.

Examples

• A 2011 Bureau of Labour Statistics study showed people overestimating work hours by 25 on average.
• A young man claimed to work 180 hours a week, more hours than a week contains.
• Shifting habits, Vanderkam replaced hundreds of hours of trivial reading with valuable literature.

2. Novel experiences stretch our perception of time

Our brains condense routine activities into meaningless blurs in memory. Days doing the same thing disappear as one, leaving years that feel like they’ve sped right by. The antidote to this monotony is novelty. By seeking new experiences, we mark time and create memories that make life vivid.

When routines dominate, as they often do, time vanishes. For example, commuting daily to work might mean 1,000 trips that your brain stores as one collective memory. This uniformity erases those hours and leaves a sense of lost time. Breaking this cycle refreshes the mind.

Seeking novel moments doesn’t necessarily mean grand vacations, though that helps. Small adventures like a picnic, trying a new hobby, or exploring an unfamiliar neighborhood add richness to everyday life, slowing time’s perception.

Examples

• A vacation in an exotic location can produce more memories in one morning than a month of routine.
• A daily commute condensed into one memory highlights how routines rob us of perceived time.
• A family’s spur-of-the-moment dinner at a park serves as a lasting cherished memory.

3. Busyness is often self-imposed and unnecessary

Many professionals equate packed schedules with productivity and importance, but this busy culture is often a trap. Vanderkam shares the story of a senior professional who maintains empty spaces on his calendar by rejecting unnecessary tasks. Rather than glorifying busyness, he chooses to guard his time.

The busyness trap lies in seeking validation through deadlines and meetings. Having nothing on the agenda may feel like laziness, yet free time often fosters greater clarity and innovation. Unsurprisingly, meetings are among the worst offenders—often extended far beyond what is necessary.

Rejecting unnecessary busyness frees mental and emotional capacity. Vanderkam suggests paying close attention to whether a commitment truly deserves your time. Declining minor interruptions opens space for focus and fulfilling pursuits.

Examples

• A technology director left his weekly schedule nearly open by saying “no” to pointless work.
• Meetings arbitrarily blocked for 30 or 60 minutes rarely use that full time effectively.
• Creative breakthroughs often occur during periods of unstructured reflection, not during overscheduled chaos.

4. Relationships enrich time and can make us live longer

Time can feel abundant when we deepen relationships with loved ones. Prioritizing social connections makes us happier and fills life with meaning. Research shows people who spend more time with friends and family feel they have more time, even when their schedules are just as full.

Interactions with loved ones relax us, creating a feeling of endlessness. Unlike the fleeting distractions of social media or television, time with friends feels fulfilling and stretches our perception of its passage. Togetherness contributes to both short-term joy and long-term health.

Close connections also correlate with longer life expectancy. People with strong ties to others receive emotional support and encouragement to care for their health. Relationships can provide as much of a boost to longevity as quitting smoking.

Examples

• Surveys reveal those who spend more time with loved ones feel the most time-rich.
• Strong social bonds may increase life expectancy similarly to eliminating a major health risk.
• Family dinners and heartfelt conversations create moments that outlive mundane daily tasks.

5. Lower expectations to get more done and feel at ease

High expectations for productivity can paralyze us. When we aim too high, the pressure to perform squeezes out enjoyment and makes us feel perpetually behind. Vanderkam discovered that lowering goals liberated her to accomplish more in brief, practical bursts.

By setting realistic, incremental targets, we remove the burden of guilt and procrastination. Learning to work within small segments instead of waiting for conditions to be perfect allows steady progress. Adults can take inspiration from how children learn – a word at a time, celebrated without expectation of immediate mastery.

This change in mindset also helps combat the overwhelming sense of constantly falling short. Adjusting down lofty ambitions doesn’t limit achievement; instead, it prevents wasted hours of frustration.

Examples

• Vanderkam wrote and edited articles during short moments between household duties by not demanding perfection.
• A child’s gradual language learning reflects a steady, unpressured approach to growth.
• Professionals stuck in inactivity often thrive after adopting small, manageable milestones.

6. Using money purposefully can shape enjoyable experiences

While time is finite, money can expand experiences. Used wisely, income provides opportunities that create lasting memories and reduce daily frustrations. Vanderkam emphasizes spending money on meaningful activities rather than material possessions.

Investing in experiences, like short trips or family outings, offers joy that physical goods often can’t sustain. The emotional return from a well-crafted event or an improved daily routine beats the fleeting happiness of a new gadget. Rethinking spending habits makes your hours more enjoyable.

For persistent sources of unhappiness like commuting or unpleasant chores, money can resolve stressors. Small changes—like hiring help or upgrading transportation options—enhance well-being and free resources for deeper pursuits.

Examples

• Camping gear bought for family adventures creates recurring joy through shared outings.
• Moving closer to work reduces misery from long commutes, improving overall mood.
• Outsourcing housecleaning gives couples time to relax together instead of dreading chores.

7. Planning small adventures prevents time from slipping away

Days blend together when they’re not differentiated by unique events. A simple way to make time feel richer is to add “little adventures.” These needn’t be elaborate or expensive—just intentional. Breaking routines helps prevent memory sinkholes and enlivens daily life.

Moments like spontaneous dates, post-dinner playground trips, or lunchtime park visits inject joy and mark moments in time. These activities don’t require extended planning, but they restore a sense of thoughtfulness to time usage.

Adventures reframe the narrative of a busy life. They infuse meaning into schedules and make time feel fuller, even if hours remain the same. Anyone can fit tiny escapes into a weekly rhythm.

Examples

• Grabbing coworkers for an outdoor lunch reinvigorates a monotonous weekday.
• Turning an ordinary evening into a game night builds lasting family connections.
• Switching the gym with a hike offers both fitness benefits and refreshing scenery.

8. Saying “no” protects meaningful time

Agreeing to every request stretches us thin, leaving little room for joy or personal priorities. Vanderkam suggests visualizing whether you’d accept a commitment if it were happening tomorrow. This mental shift clarifies which opportunities align with your goals.

When you guard your schedule, you leave room for what matters most. Mindless “yeses” erode time for contemplation, hobbies, and bonding with loved ones. Saying “no” isn’t selfish—it’s essential to respecting your time and making deliberate use of it.

This strategic approach helps ensure alignment between actions and values. It’s better to decline upfront than to regret a poorly considered engagement later.

Examples

• The “Would I do this tomorrow?” rule simplifies decision-making about future plans.
• Declining unnecessary phone calls preserved time for Vanderkam’s writing projects.
• Skipping an unwanted meeting allowed one professional to network over coffee instead.

9. Slowing down amplifies present moments

In our rush to squeeze productivity into every minute, we often lose the moment entirely. Instead of hustling constantly, slowing down opens opportunities to savor life. Mindfulness practices like focusing on sensory details or taking deep breaths lengthen experiences.

Choosing to slow down doesn’t mean abandoning tasks—it means prioritizing presence over speed. Pausing to appreciate peaceful moments brings clarity and refreshes your emotional state. In slowing down, time feels more expansive.

Vanderkam reminds us that calm moments are often where the best parts of life unfold. Incorporating mindfulness creates balance, despite life’s demands.

Examples

• Focusing on deep breathing during calm moments reduces stress.
• Noticing details on a nature walk helps refresh perspective and solidify the experience in memory.
• Slowing down at bedtime fosters connection through storytelling or soothing conversation.

Takeaways

1. Track your time for one week to discover where it truly goes and identify what doesn’t matter.
2. Schedule simple adventures like a picnic or evening outing to add richness and memories to ordinary weeks.
3. Say “no” to obligations that don't align with immediate or long-term priorities – respecting your time is key.