On the Move

“Life is chaos; we are all caught up in it. My task is to find meaning in the chaos and share it in the form of a story.”

1. A Passion for Science and Stories

Oliver Sacks developed an early love for both science and storytelling, a dual passion that shaped his life and career. As a child, he spent hours conducting chemical experiments at home, even risking disaster with noxious fumes filling the house. Simultaneously, he devoured classic works of English literature with his mother, cultivating a deep appreciation for words and narratives. This blend of interests would later lead him to a groundbreaking career in neurology and best-selling authorship.

His connection to books also influenced his teenage years. For instance, he described becoming so captivated by James Joyce’s Ulysses that he once failed to notice he had emptied an entire bottle of strongly alcoholic aquavit on a ferry ride. This balance of intellectual curiosity and recklessness marked his approach to life during his youth. At school, as president of the literary society, Sacks further immersed himself in stories, practicing leadership and literary criticism even before he fully understood his life path.

These early experiences were a blueprint for his later attempts to combine the analytical rigor of science with the evocative power of narratives. When drafting his books, he ensured they explored the human aspects of his patients’ experiences, bridging the divide between hard science and storytelling.

Examples

• His chemical experiments as a child demonstrated his scientific urge while also risking catastrophe.
• Reading Ulysses aboard a ferry illustrated his passion for literature that could distract him from reality.
• His leadership in the school literary society highlighted his early love for storytelling.

2. A Wound Inflicted by Hurtful Words

A defining moment in Sacks’s life occurred when his father confronted him about his lack of girlfriends, leading to a revelation about his sexuality. When Sacks admitted he was attracted to boys, his father broke his trust and told his mother. Her harsh reaction – calling him an "abomination" and expressing regret he was born – left a lasting emotional scar.

Though his mother never brought up his admission again, the incident crushed his self-confidence. At a time when society criminalized homosexuality, Sacks internalized guilt and fear. This deeply shaped his relationships, leading to decades of celibacy and loneliness.

The event also showcased how parental words could deeply affect a child. Despite being progressive in other areas, Sacks’s mother acted as a product of her environment, and her rejection haunted him for much of his adult life. Nevertheless, Sacks later reflected on this with understanding, forgiving her despite the power of her hurtful words.

Examples

• His father’s probing questions led to Sacks reluctantly admitting his feelings, sparking the incident.
• His mother’s outburst, calling him an “abomination,” dealt a psychological blow.
• Sacks struggled with relationships, remaining celibate for 35 years because of his internalized guilt.

3. The Power of Writing

Sacks discovered his talent for writing during his studies at Oxford. Struggling academically in anatomy, he unexpectedly aced a prestigious essay competition while intoxicated, impressing his professors with his knack for argumentation and structured storytelling.

Throughout his career, Sacks honed his writing skill as a way to combine his interests in science and storytelling. His books bridged the gap between dry medical case notes and engaging stories, giving readers windows into the human condition through his patients’ lives. He viewed writing as therapy too, using it to process and give structure to chaotic experiences in his own life.

Later in his career, his editor became pivotal to reigning in Sacks’s perfectionism. His tendency to over-write, such as crafting 400 footnotes for a single book, reflected both his obsession for detail and his enduring love of the written word.

Examples

• Winning the Theodore Williams Scholarship in Human Anatomy early in life showcased his essay skills.
• His essays later distilled complex patient conditions into relatable narratives in Awakenings and Migraines.
• His meticulous need to revise manuscripts – once expanding footnotes to far surpass the book itself – highlighted his obsessive writing drive.

4. A Foray into Rebellion

During his twenties, Sacks cultivated a more rebellious side. Moving to California not only granted him professional opportunities but also introduced him to a bohemian lifestyle. Becoming “Wolf” in biker circles, Sacks delved into the open-road culture of motorcycles and forged relationships with colorful figures like the Hells Angels.

This time wasn’t merely about rebellion; it also involved physical transformation. Through weightlifting, Sacks set records like squatting 600 pounds and immersed himself in a culture of self-improvement. However, his desire for more complex experiences eventually led him to experiment with psychedelic drugs, sparking curiosity about the mind but also setting the stage for darker addictions.

While these years were an expression of newfound freedoms, they also complicated his sense of self. His experimentation with drugs especially would later force Sacks to confront personal limitations and reorient toward more meaningful pursuits.

Examples

• Sacks adopted the nickname "Wolf" and accumulated 100,000 motorcycle miles.
• He set a California state record by squatting 600 pounds at the YMCA gym.
• Interactions with the Hells Angels marked his embrace of a rough yet intellectual subculture.

5. Addiction and a Point of No Return

By the mid-1960s, drug experimentation turned into dependency, with Sacks becoming heavily addicted to amphetamines, which nearly derailed his neurology career. At his lowest, he combined high amphetamine doses with chloral hydrate sedatives to balance extreme highs and crippling lows.

The breaking point came during an episode in which withdrawal caused intense hallucinations, including seeing people with insect-like faces. This terrifying experience prompted him to seek psychoanalysis, marking the first step in his arduous battle for sobriety.

Despite attempts to quit, the constant struggle with addiction defined a period of despair for Sacks. However, he found a path forward with a combination of therapy and immersing himself in clinical neurology work, which provided the structure and focus he needed.

Examples

• A hallucinatory episode convinced Sacks he had “gone mad,” pushing him to seek help.
• He developed a lethal habit of balancing amphetamines and sedatives.
• Therapy, combined with clinical work, helped him redirect addictive energy into positive endeavors.

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Takeaways

1. Pursue passions that blend different talents, as Sacks did with science and storytelling. Don’t feel confined to a single box.
2. Acknowledge and process emotional wounds, but contextualize them through compassion for others’ limitations and biases.
3. Value storytelling as a tool for understanding complex human experiences, whether in medical writing or other fields.