Onward Summary

Building emotional resilience not only transforms your teaching experience but reignites your passion for education.

1. Understanding the Emotional Cycle

The book explains that emotions are a series of events and reactions tied together in a cycle, rather than isolated incidents. By identifying and interrupting this cycle, you can manage your responses better. Aguilar shares that as a new teacher, she ignored her feelings, but over time, she learned that addressing emotions directly improves overall resilience.

The emotional cycle begins with a triggering event, followed by your interpretation of that event. For example, a fire drill might lead you to believe that the administration disregards your time. This interpretation provokes physical reactions like a rapid heartbeat and urges you to act out of frustration. Finally, actions like sending a harsh email can result in lingering emotions such as exhaustion.

By intervening at any stage of the cycle, you can alter the outcome. Aguilar recommends reframing negative thoughts or practicing relaxation, such as deep breathing, to manage physical symptoms. This proactive approach reduces emotional overload.

Examples

• Stop assuming someone’s lateness is disrespect by considering alternate reasons.
• Take a pause when your heart races during conflict and engage in calming exercises.
• Use constructive outlets like journaling instead of impulsive reactions like confrontational emails.

2. Community Creates Resilience

Strong relationships with colleagues and friends are crucial for emotional well-being, as Aguilar highlights through her decision to stay in close-knit school communities despite offers for higher-paying positions.

Communities provide teachers with support and reduce feelings of isolation, which are common in education. Schools with a collaborative culture see reduced burnout rates, as shared challenges and victories reinforce connections among teams. Aguilar emphasizes that proximity to students doesn’t fulfill social needs; only shared moments with peers can do that.

Setting aside daily moments to connect with coworkers can make a significant difference. Small changes, like sharing lunch breaks or organizing group activities, can foster these bonds and ensure you feel valued within your professional circle.

Examples

• Join teacher groups or attend staff meetings for stronger relationships.
• Spend breaks socializing with fellow educators rather than isolating yourself.
• Seek mentors or buddies who understand the challenges of teaching.

3. Mindfulness as a Lifeline

Aguilar defines mindfulness as being in the present moment without letting excessive thoughts about the past or future dominate. Teachers face emotional challenges every day, and mindfulness helps them pause and deal with negative emotions calmly.

A restless night worrying about a student can be alleviated by meditation or breathing exercises, allowing educators to face their next day calmly. Additionally, mindfulness reshapes impulsive reactions. For instance, rather than sending a misbehaving student out of class on a whim, stopping to reflect might reveal alternative solutions.

Ultimately, mindfulness teaches that emotions are not permanent or defining. Accepting them without judgment gives you the power to handle challenging days better.

Examples

• Practice 5-minute daily meditations before beginning your lessons.
• Use mindfulness apps to guide breathing exercises during breaks.
• When triggered by outbursts, pause and mentally name your feelings to detach from them.

4. Self-Care Should Be Prioritized

Many educators fail to look after themselves due to misconceptions or lack of guidance. Aguilar highlights a phenomenon called the “Disillusionment Period,” often felt in November, where teachers feel worn down by stress and classroom demands.

Reasons for neglecting self-care range from not knowing how to care for oneself to believing it isn’t deserved. Teachers shy away from simple health habits like getting enough sleep or eating breakfast. Aguilar argues that educators often need external encouragement, like that from mentors, to make self-care part of their strategy for success.

When intentional self-care habits are incorporated, the benefits are clear—better performance, stronger immunity, and increased energy to meet professional challenges.

Examples

• Plan nightly routines to ensure adequate rest before your teaching day.
• Take short walks or listen to uplifting music between lessons to recharge.
• Maintain balanced meals, even during hectic schedules, to avoid burnout.

5. Reclaim Joy Through Play

Play is vital, not just for students, but for adults as well. Engaging in play energizes and connects people. Unfortunately, many teachers dismiss play as unproductive or unnecessary in their busy schedules.

Aguilar explains that true play isn’t competitive or strictly goal-oriented; it’s an enjoyable activity free of external expectations. Activities like singing, gardening, or spontaneous games can refresh the body and mind. Play also fosters creativity, which helps teachers stay innovative in the classroom.

Incorporating fun into your routine renews your sense of purpose and reinforces your resilience, making it easier to navigate difficult days.

Examples

• Dedicate weekends to hobby-based activities such as painting or sports.
• Host casual staff get-togethers filled with games or lighthearted contests.
• Engage with students during class breaks for spontaneous, joyful activities.

6. Facing Change Without Fear

Change can seem overwhelming, but Aguilar shares practical tools for approaching it thoughtfully. For example, when teachers learn of unwanted mergers or policy shifts, their immediate reaction is often stress-driven and hasty.

Instead of reacting, take time to pause and analyze the situation. Aguilar suggests using different perspectives—imagining how the change might look in years to come or considering its broader impacts. Finally, focus your actions on addressing the core aspects that matter most to you.

This mindset not only curbs unnecessary worry but also prevents wasted energy on areas beyond your control.

Examples

• Pause for 24 hours when confronted with major updates before responding.
• Use reflective journaling to process your thoughts about professional changes.
• Channel efforts toward goals you care deeply about, like mentoring students.

7. Reframe Challenges Through Gratitude

Practicing gratitude can transform a teacher’s perspective and strengthen their relationships. Aguilar emphasizes that showing appreciation, even in the smallest ways, builds supportive work environments.

Scientific studies show gratitude strengthens social connections and buffers stress. A personal “thank you” to coworkers or taking moments to reflect on positive experiences shifts energy toward optimism rather than frustration. It fosters collaboration and mutual respect within teams.

By expressing gratitude and encouraging others to adopt this practice, teachers can cultivate a school culture where everyone feels seen and valued.

Examples

• Keep a gratitude journal, noting three things you appreciate daily.
• Verbally thank colleagues for specific actions, like taking an extra duty.
• Write notes of appreciation to parents or administrators.

8. Benefits of Emotional Adaptability

Recognizing emotions as temporary phenomena allows educators to control their reactions. Aguilar discusses how emotional experiences—both good and bad—are inherently fluid and fade with time.

This understanding helps teachers avoid labeling themselves as inherently anxious or angry. Instead, acknowledging factors that trigger stress can create better responses. Reflective practices like journaling or conversations with colleagues can provide perspective on emotional experiences.

Embracing adaptability aids not only in handling tension but also in personal growth.

Examples

• When a mistake happens, remind yourself that feelings of failure are short-lived.
• Use debriefs with trusted coworkers to reinterpret tough circumstances.
• Practice visualization to see emotional challenges as passing waves rather than walls.

9. Marking Transitions With Celebration

Transitions, such as the beginning or end of an academic year, are moments that deserve recognition. Aguilar advises celebrating these milestones to inspire positivity and reinforce achievements.

Celebratory rituals build resilience by reminding educators and students alike of their progress. Events like end-of-year parties motivate everyone to reflect on their shared journey. These celebrations act as a release from tension, providing space to move forward with renewed purpose.

By framing transitions as opportunities to acknowledge success, teachers can foster both resilience and motivation.

Examples

• Organize an “achievement week” to celebrate progress across subjects.
• Host farewell events to showcase gratitude for both students and coworkers.
• Create small, themed activities to mark each semester’s closure.

Takeaways

1. Schedule and commit to daily self-care routines—including meals, sleep, and relaxation techniques.
2. Create rituals to reflect on and celebrate key moments throughout the school year alongside your students.
3. Build strong relationships with colleagues by engaging in communal activities and showing consistent appreciation.