Personality Isn't Permanent

Your personality isn’t permanent – it’s a story you rewrite with every decision you make.

1. The Flawed World of Personality Testing

Personality tests, including the popular Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, often paint a misleading picture of human nature. These tests are not based on scientific evidence but rather on subjective theories or even personal anecdotes. They claim to categorize us into defined personality types, but the variations across different tests highlight these classifications’ subjectivity.

The creators of the Myers-Briggs test, for instance, lacked any scientific training. Their model was birthed from observations and personal experiences, like noticing differences within their own family. These tests encourage a fixed idea of personality by suggesting traits are innate and unchangeable, which isn’t scientifically valid.

The repeated use and promotion of such ambiguous models have less to do with improving self-understanding and more to do with financial gain. The personality testing industry is worth billions, showing how vested interests overshadow genuine scientific pursuit.

Examples

• The Myers-Briggs test divides personality into 16 types without scientific basis.
• Test questions often rely on subjective self-perception, leading to fluctuating results.
• The industry earns billions annually by selling tests to businesses and individuals.

2. Personality is Fluid, Not Fixed

Research shows that personality evolves over time, often challenging the popular belief that it’s immutable. A Scottish study found that individuals’ personalities at age 14 bore almost no resemblance to their reported adult personalities six decades later.

Part of the illusion of fixed personality stems from short-term studies which suggest stability. But over time, changes become more apparent. This is also why people struggle to realize how much they will change in the future. Known as the “end-of-history illusion,” people believe their current selves are final, despite ample evidence to the contrary.

Being prepared for ongoing transformation allows individuals to actively plan for future growth rather than clinging to a static self-image. Embracing flexibility opens the door to new possibilities.

Examples

• A 60-year-long Scottish study showed almost no personality consistency over decades.
• Daniel Gilbert’s research highlights the “end-of-history illusion” regarding self-perception.
• Many people acknowledge past changes but inaccurately predict stability in the future.

3. Comfort Zones and the Myth of the Authentic Self

The idea of an "authentic self" can keep people stuck in their comfort zones. Many assume they must act “naturally,” avoiding actions that feel awkward or effortful, but this mindset halts personal growth.

Teenagers refusing to deliver classroom presentations due to anxiety demonstrate how this myth can limit potential. An authentic self may feel anxious or shy in certain situations, but these feelings can be overcome with continued effort, as psychology professor Adam Grant learned when overcoming his fear of public speaking.

Growth often feels uncomfortable at first. Pushing past these initial difficulties is the only way to develop new skills and become a more capable version of yourself.

Examples

• Teens avoiding public speaking in schools due to “anxiety” miss out on growth opportunities.
• Adam Grant overcame his fear of public speaking by practicing repeatedly, despite failure.
• Comfort zones restrict progress by fostering avoidance of discomfort.

4. Understanding Behavior Through Your Goals

Human behavior is inherently goal-driven, and understanding why we act as we do gives incredible clarity into personality shaping. Whether large or small, conscious or unconscious, goals drive our decisions.

For instance, watching cat videos may seem like a goalless time-waster, but it serves the purpose of avoiding stress or boredom. Similarly, working out isn’t just about fitness; it’s often deeply rooted in goals like improving long-term health or staying present for loved ones.

To redefine your personality, start by identifying and intentionally altering the goals behind your daily actions. Take stock not only of what you’re doing but also why you’re doing it.

Examples

• Watching cat videos may actually reflect a goal of avoiding boredom or relaxation.
• Working out could stem from long-term goals such as wanting to stay healthy for family.
• A simple action like cooking dinner could connect to fostering family connections.

5. Single-Minded Focus Unlocks Achievement

Committing to one clear goal channels focus and minimizes distractions. The British rowing team preparing for Olympic gold in 2000 exemplified this approach, constantly asking themselves, "Will it make the boat faster?" Their singular focus led them to victory after decades of failure.

Prioritizing a keystone goal can create ripple effects that improve other aspects of life. For example, a health-related goal like regular exercise might lead to a better mood, higher productivity, and improved relationships.

Eliminating multiple competing aspirations ensures that all energy aligns toward real progress. Simplifying your goals makes them easier to achieve, ensuring you don’t become overwhelmed by trying to accomplish too much at once.

Examples

• The British rowing team’s mantra, “Will it make the boat faster?” brought them Olympic gold.
• Establishing a keystone habit, such as better sleep, can generate numerous life benefits.
• Writers or athletes focusing on one performance metric often see broader success.

6. The Transformative Power of Early Mornings

Getting up one hour earlier grants the critical daily time to work toward meaningful change. Morning hours, free from the distractions of reactive tasks, allow individuals to focus on self-improvement through reading, planning, or skill-building.

Change begins by building momentum, and a calm daily hour of dedicated effort jumpstarts this process. It’s also the perfect time for learning, which stimulates growth by providing new information to guide personal development.

The quiet mornings are a chance to combat the brain’s natural resistance to uncertainty by creating a proactive and controlled start to the day.

Examples

• Morning hours aren’t consumed by reactive tasks, allowing focus on primary goals.
• Neuroscientists say learning helps rewire the brain by correcting past prediction errors.
• Starting a day with one hour of focus paves the way for long-term transformation.

7. Rewriting Your Past to Shape Your Future

Your narrative identity – the story you tell about yourself – profoundly affects who you become. Changing this story by reframing past experiences can help break unwanted habits and foster better futures.

Ken Arlen, once a chain smoker, quit by declaring that he didn’t smoke, effectively changing his identity and behaviors. Similarly, reframing personal hardships can shift focus from being a victim of circumstances to finding empowerment in overcoming challenges.

Recognizing the power of how you interpret and retell your past unlocks an ability to reshape your life.

Examples

• Ken Arlen quit smoking after redefining himself as a lifelong non-smoker.
• Psychologist Dan McAdams argues we build our personality from self-created narratives.
• Reframing family struggles can foster gratitude or personal strength instead of bitterness.

8. The Brain’s Resistance to Uncertainty

The human brain’s focus on safety explains why we are naturally drawn to routines and the familiar. Venturing into uncertainty triggers fear responses designed to keep us in our comfort zones.

However, this tendency can prevent meaningful changes. By slowly exposing ourselves to new opportunities and challenges, we recondition the brain to embrace growth and learning rather than avoid it. Even small adaptations can help overcome this ingrained resistance.

To grow, individuals must regularly challenge their brains to confront and learn from mistakes.

Examples

• Predictability ensures comfort but stifles personal evolution.
• Challenging tasks teach the brain valuable new skills through adaptation.
• Growth lies outside the zone the brain sees as “safe.”

9. Change is Accessible to Everyone

Despite the many challenges inherent in redesigning habits or reshaping personality, it’s achievable for anyone willing to take incremental steps. Small changes, like waking earlier or reframing a personal story, yield compounding benefits.

It’s important to remember that no one is stuck being their past selves. With mindfulness and intentionality, both behavior and personality traits can be improved, paving the way for meaningful growth.

Human potential is only limited by the commitment to act upon one’s future vision.

Examples

• Ken Arlen realized his smoking history didn’t dictate his future choices.
• Small, daily efforts like journaling or meditating can spark life-altering changes.
• Personality evolves through repeated, intentional decisions over time.

Takeaways

1. Wake up one hour earlier daily to work on your most meaningful long-term goal.
2. Reframe a negative past experience into a story of growth, resilience, or triumph.
3. Identify one key habit or goal that could create a ripple effect influencing multiple areas of your life.