Your mind can be your best friend or your worst enemy. The choice is yours, and Positive Intelligence shows you how to make the right one.
1. Your Saboteurs: The Hidden Forces Holding You Back
Your mind is home to Saboteurs, those negative thought patterns that undermine your happiness and success. These Saboteurs originate from the survival instincts of your brain, which are designed to protect you but often end up causing harm in modern life. They manifest as anxiety, self-doubt, and counterproductive habits.
The Judge is the most dominant Saboteur, constantly criticizing you and others. It pushes you to chase endless goals, leaving you dissatisfied even after achieving them. Other Saboteurs include the Stickler, who demands perfection at all costs, and the Pleaser, who prioritizes others' needs to the point of resentment. Each Saboteur has a unique way of creating stress and limiting your potential.
Understanding these Saboteurs is the first step to overcoming them. By identifying their presence and naming them, you can begin to separate yourself from their influence. This awareness allows you to take control and start building a healthier mindset.
Examples
- Peter, an entrepreneur, rejected a $125 million offer for his business because his college friend had sold his for $330 million, driven by his Judge.
- The Stickler might push someone to work late into the night, sacrificing health for an unattainable standard of perfection.
- A Pleaser may agree to every request at work, only to feel overwhelmed and resentful later.
2. The Sage: Your Inner Guide to Peace and Clarity
The Sage resides in the right side of your brain and represents your calm, wise, and resourceful self. Unlike the Saboteurs, the Sage doesn’t react to life’s challenges with fear or anxiety. Instead, it approaches problems with curiosity and creativity, helping you find solutions that align with your values.
The Sage operates through five key powers: empathy, exploration, innovation, navigation, and activation. Empathy allows you to treat yourself and others with kindness, while exploration opens your mind to new possibilities. Innovation helps you generate fresh ideas, navigation guides you toward meaningful choices, and activation drives you to take purposeful action.
By tapping into your Sage, you can transform setbacks into opportunities. The Sage doesn’t deny pain or difficulty but puts them into perspective, ensuring they don’t dominate your life. This shift in mindset can lead to greater fulfillment and resilience.
Examples
- A farmer in a Chinese parable responded to both fortune and misfortune with the same calm phrase: “No one really knows what’s good or bad,” embodying the Sage’s perspective.
- Visualizing yourself as a child can help you access the Sage’s empathy and treat yourself with compassion.
- Using the Sage’s navigation power, you might imagine yourself at the end of your life, reflecting on whether a decision aligns with your values.
3. Naming Your Saboteurs to Weaken Their Grip
One of the simplest yet most effective ways to weaken your Saboteurs is to name them. By giving them a label, you create distance between yourself and these negative thought patterns. This act of naming exposes the Saboteurs as external forces rather than intrinsic parts of your identity.
For example, you might call your Judge “Darth Vader” to make it less intimidating. This playful approach helps you recognize when the Saboteur is at work and reduces its power over you. Naming also makes it easier to empathize with yourself, as you see the Saboteur as something you can manage rather than something that defines you.
This technique is a practical first step toward building positive intelligence. It’s a way to interrupt the automatic responses of your survival brain and create space for the Sage to take over.
Examples
- A perfectionist might name their Stickler “The Drill Sergeant” to highlight its harsh and unrelenting nature.
- Someone with a Restless Saboteur could call it “The Wanderer” to acknowledge its tendency to chase distractions.
- A person struggling with the Avoider might label it “The Ostrich” to reflect its habit of burying its head in the sand.
4. Building PQ Through Sensory Focus
Improving your positive intelligence (PQ) starts with simple exercises that engage your senses. By focusing on physical sensations, you can quiet your Saboteurs and strengthen your Sage. These exercises are like mental workouts that build your PQ muscles over time.
For instance, when brushing your teeth, you might focus on the vibrations of the toothbrush, the taste of the toothpaste, and the feel of the bristles. These moments of mindfulness help you stay present and prevent your Saboteurs from taking over. The goal is to complete 100 PQ reps a day for 21 days to create lasting change.
This practice not only reduces anxiety but also enhances your ability to respond to challenges with clarity and calm. It’s a simple yet powerful way to shift your mindset and improve your overall well-being.
Examples
- During a run, focus on the rhythm of your breath and the sensation of your feet hitting the ground.
- While eating, savor the flavors and textures of each bite, paying attention to the experience.
- In conversations, notice the tone of the other person’s voice and their facial expressions.
5. The Power of Empathy: Starting with Yourself
Empathy is the foundation of the Sage’s powers, and it begins with self-compassion. Treating yourself with kindness can help you break free from the constant judgment of your Saboteurs. This self-empathy also makes it easier to connect with and understand others.
One way to cultivate empathy is to visualize yourself as a child. Imagine how you would comfort that child if they were feeling scared or overwhelmed. This exercise helps you approach your own struggles with gentleness rather than criticism.
Empathy isn’t just about feelings; it’s a practical tool for building stronger relationships and resolving conflicts. By understanding your own needs and emotions, you can better navigate the complexities of human interaction.
Examples
- Looking at a childhood photo of yourself can evoke feelings of compassion and help you silence your inner Judge.
- A manager might use empathy to understand an employee’s struggles, leading to more effective support and collaboration.
- In a conflict, empathizing with the other person’s perspective can pave the way for resolution.
6. Exploring Life with Curiosity
The Sage’s power of exploration encourages you to approach life with curiosity and openness. Instead of reacting to challenges with fear or frustration, you can investigate them like a scientist studying a fascinating phenomenon.
This mindset allows you to see problems as opportunities for growth. By asking questions and seeking to understand, you can uncover new possibilities and solutions. Exploration also helps you stay grounded in the present moment, reducing the influence of your Saboteurs.
Curiosity isn’t just a mental exercise; it’s a way of life that can lead to greater creativity and resilience. It’s about embracing the unknown and finding joy in the process of discovery.
Examples
- A business leader might explore market trends to identify innovative opportunities rather than fearing disruption.
- A parent could approach a child’s tantrum with curiosity, seeking to understand the underlying emotions.
- An artist might experiment with new techniques, viewing mistakes as part of the creative process.
7. Innovating for Fresh Solutions
Innovation is the Sage’s ability to generate new ideas and approaches. When old solutions no longer work, the Sage steps in to create fresh possibilities. This process requires letting go of judgment and allowing ideas to flow freely.
Innovation isn’t about perfection; it’s about experimentation. By embracing a mindset of creativity, you can find solutions that align with your values and goals. This power is especially useful in times of change or uncertainty.
The key to innovation is to separate idea generation from analysis. By focusing on creativity first, you can avoid limiting yourself and open the door to unexpected breakthroughs.
Examples
- A team brainstorming session might produce a groundbreaking product idea by encouraging free thinking.
- An individual facing a career crossroads could explore unconventional paths, such as freelancing or starting a business.
- A couple in conflict might innovate new ways to communicate and strengthen their relationship.
8. Navigating Life with Purpose
The Sage’s navigation power helps you make decisions that align with your values and purpose. This involves reflecting on what truly matters to you and choosing paths that bring meaning to your life.
One way to access this power is to imagine yourself at the end of your life, looking back on your choices. Would you be proud of the path you took? This perspective can guide you toward decisions that resonate with your core values.
Navigation isn’t about avoiding challenges; it’s about finding the best way forward. By staying true to your purpose, you can create a life that feels fulfilling and authentic.
Examples
- A professional might choose a job that offers work-life balance over one with a higher salary but more stress.
- A student could select a field of study that aligns with their passions rather than societal expectations.
- A family might prioritize quality time together over material possessions.
9. Activating Your Sage for Focused Action
The final power of the Sage is activation, which turns your plans into action. This isn’t about rushing or forcing outcomes; it’s about moving forward with clarity and purpose. Activation requires silencing the doubts of your Saboteurs and trusting in your ability to succeed.
When you’re aligned with your values and purpose, action becomes natural and focused. You’re not just busy; you’re productive in a way that feels meaningful. This state of flow is where you can achieve your best results.
Activation is the culmination of the Sage’s powers, bringing together empathy, exploration, innovation, and navigation to create a life of purpose and fulfillment.
Examples
- A writer might set aside time each day to work on their novel, staying focused on their creative vision.
- A team could implement a new strategy with confidence, knowing it aligns with their shared goals.
- An individual might take the first step toward a healthier lifestyle, such as joining a fitness class or cooking nutritious meals.
Takeaways
- Identify and name your Saboteurs to reduce their influence and create mental distance from negative thoughts.
- Practice daily PQ exercises, such as focusing on your senses during routine activities, to build mindfulness and resilience.
- Use the Sage’s five powers—empathy, exploration, innovation, navigation, and activation—to approach challenges with clarity and purpose.