Sales EQ

"Sales is a dance of emotions where trust and connection lead, not just logic or presentation." Jeb Blount explores this fundamental truth in Sales EQ.

1. Break Expectations to Stand Out

Salespeople often fall into routines, but breaking expectations can win prospects over by grabbing their attention and reshaping their perspective. Buyers have preconceived notions about salespeople – pushy, rigid, or overly eager to sell. Changing this narrative can surprise them and create a breakthrough.

Joe, a mentor in the book, demonstrates this by presenting two different loaves of bread to an artisan baker. Rather than competing on price, he uses a relatable analogy, comparing the baker’s artisanal product to his company’s superior truck leasing services. This creative approach disrupts the usual buyer-seller dynamic.

Joe’s example teaches the importance of storytelling and connecting on the buyer’s terms. Rather than diving straight into pitches, shifting the conversation to something relatable makes buyers feel understood and engaged.

Examples

• Presenting two loaves of bread to make pricing relatable
• Asking buyers to describe their values to connect with their needs
• Breaking away from "sales scripts" to create personal, memorable interactions

2. Emotions Drive Purchases, Not Logic

We like to think of ourselves as logical beings, but our emotions almost always guide our decisions – even when buying high-ticket items. Research supports this, like studies showing how in-store music influences wine selections or even how a company name eases investments.

In sales, misalignment often happens because salespeople lead with logic, while buyers start with emotions. Buyers first ask themselves, "Do I like this salesperson?" Only later, when deciding, do they consider logic. Sellers often don't realize this, pitching features instead of forming emotional connections.

This highlights the need for salespeople to meet buyers emotionally before diving into specs or pricing. Understanding how their emotions play a role at each stage can change outcomes for the better.

Examples

• Customers favoring French wine when French music plays in stores
• Customers trusting brands with simple, familiar names
• Buyers favoring sales reps who demonstrate warmth rather than diving straight into product details

3. Reduce Cognitive Dissonance, Don’t Amplify It

Buyers resist information that conflicts with their decisions because it creates emotional discomfort, known as cognitive dissonance. Misunderstanding this can sabotage even the best sales presentations.

For instance, pointing out flaws in a prospect’s current vendor may feel like a great tactic to showcase your offering. But since they personally chose that vendor, buyers may interpret your criticism as a judgment of their decision-making – creating a defensive stance instead of openness.

Asking questions like “What do you like about your current solution?” shifts the dynamic. It subtly prompts them to reflect on its negatives without directly putting them in a defense mode, keeping rapport unharmed instead of triggering resistance.

Examples

• Buyers defending less efficient systems simply because it was their choice
• Prospects feeling attacked when a salesperson critiques their decisions
• Smart sales reps redirecting discussions through open-ended questions instead of outright criticism

4. Empathy Guides Connection and Personalization

Empathy is a salesperson’s secret weapon. Truly understanding what buyers want and feel allows you to tailor your approach while maintaining their comfort. Karen, a top jeweler featured in Sales EQ, leverages this to sell high-value engagement rings. She carefully listens to each couple, understanding their unique financial and emotional considerations.

Karen doesn’t just sell rings; she sells thoughtful experiences. She avoids pushing customers into uncomfortable financing decisions by gauging their emotional responses and financial comfort zones, building trust and loyalty.

Empathy begins with active observations and genuine interest. Salespeople who ignore these steps risk overselling, overwhelming the client, and closing fewer deals.

Examples

• Karen patiently learning a couple’s lifestyle to offer fitting rings
• Adjusting the sales pitch based on signs of client discomfort
• Avoiding price escalation that strains relationships, even for higher commissions

5. Emotional Control Equals Sales Control

High-pressure sales pitches can lead to flaring tempers. Shannon, an example from the book, loses an entire deal because she becomes defensive when a prospect challenges her presentation. Letting emotions control interactions rarely results in success.

Our fight-or-flight response activates during stress, pulling us away from rational thinking. To counter this, thorough preparation can reduce anxiety. Planned responses for tough questions create confidence, diminishing emotional outbursts.

Staying calm under pressure allows you to keep engagements pleasant, ensuring smoother discussions and better chances of closing deals.

Examples

• Losing a prospect due to argumentative behavior during a pitch
• Preparing responses to challenging questions to build confidence
• Preventing adrenaline-fueled reactions by rehearsing worst-case scenarios

6. Buyers Value Likeability Over Everything

People naturally gravitate toward those they like, even if it costs them more. An example in the book describes a buyer opting to pay extra for the same product simply because she liked the salesperson in the second store more than in the first.

Building likeability goes deeper than surface charm – it’s about attentively listening, connecting personally, and treating buyers with respect. Salespeople who talk more than listen unknowingly risk alienating prospects.

By fostering trust and warmth, you position yourself as someone clients genuinely want to succeed with.

Examples

• A buyer choosing a pricier product for a better customer experience
• Success tied to focusing on a buyer’s needs rather than immediate features
• Listening more during conversations to demonstrate mutual respect

7. Trust Is Built Through Actions, Not Pitches

Earning trust doesn’t happen overnight. Buyers watch for small behaviors – like punctuality, accurate information, and meeting commitments – to gauge reliability. Every interaction either strengthens or weakens your image as trustworthy.

One missed email or fudged stat can quietly erode this trust, even unintentionally. Instead of focusing solely on big presentations, tend to smaller details. These accumulated impressions build the foundation for long-lasting relationships.

Buyers naturally want to trust sellers. Delivering consistent, honest, and professional experiences guarantees lasting partnerships instead of one-off success.

Examples

• Prospects responding positively to consistent follow-ups
• Distrust creeping in through missed deadlines or vague answers
• Building reputation through small, everyday acts of dependability

8. Preparation Trumps Spontaneity in Difficult Sales

Every interaction flows better when you’re prepared. Role-playing potential objections or crafting logical responses ahead of time gives you confidence for even the most skeptical audiences. This minimizes emotional reactivity, paving the way for respectful connections.

Ultra high performers start by learning client goals and concerns. If things go off script, their preparation prevents panic and keeps discussions moving forward instead of derailing.

Failing to prepare increases flight-or-flight triggers, creating more mistakes. Success lies in planning conversations meticulously beforehand.

Examples

• Building trust by addressing tough questions with researched answers
• Preparing pitch examples that cater directly to unique client challenges
• Simulating high-pressure scenarios to improve tactical thinking under stress

9. Listening Opens Doors That Talking Closes

Effective listening often outweighs clever speaking in sales. Many reps talk excessively to maintain perceived control, but active listening empowers you to find hidden opportunities or objections.

Genuine curiosity fosters trust – buyers warm up when they feel heard, which differentiates you from competitors. Ask open-ended questions and maintain patience as they respond fully.

Prioritize the buyer’s story over your preset narrative. Listening more than talking positions you not as a persuader but as a partner.

Examples

• Gaining unexpected insights that dissolve buyer objections through deep conversation
• Buyers trusting those who display patience in dialogue
• Moving deals forward by consciously listening for emotional priorities

Takeaways

1. Ask targeted, emotionally engaging questions early in the sales conversation to connect with buyers’ experiences and values.
2. Prepare each pitch as if it's for your most hostile audience, anticipating objections and skepticism while remaining calm.
3. Commit to punctuality, accurate communication, and steady follow-ups to build lasting trust with every client.