Introduction
"Small Fry" by Lisa Brennan-Jobs offers a unique and intimate perspective on the life of Steve Jobs, the visionary behind Apple, through the eyes of his firstborn child. This memoir takes readers on a journey through Lisa's childhood and young adulthood, providing an unvarnished look at her complicated relationship with her famous father and her struggle to find her place in two very different worlds.
The book begins with the story of how Lisa's parents met and ends with her father's death, chronicling her experiences growing up in 1980s and 1990s California. It offers a raw and honest account of what it was like to be the daughter of one of the most influential figures in technology, while also struggling with feelings of abandonment and a desire for acceptance.
The Beginning: Steve and Chrisann's Relationship
Lisa's story begins even before she was born, with the meeting of her parents, Steve Jobs and Chrisann Brennan. In the spring of 1972, Steve was a senior at Homestead High School in Cupertino, California, when he met Chrisann, a junior. Their initial encounters were quirky and characteristic of Steve's unique personality. He approached Chrisann with a typed sheet of Bob Dylan lyrics, asking her to return it when she was done reading.
Their relationship was tumultuous from the start, marked by periods of intense connection followed by long separations. Steve's protective instincts were evident early on when he stood up to Chrisann's mother, who suffered from paranoid schizophrenia and was becoming increasingly difficult to live with.
The young couple's life together was far from conventional. They lived in a cabin, paying rent with money Steve and his friend Steve Wozniak earned from selling "blue boxes" - illegal devices that allowed people to make free long-distance calls. This entrepreneurial spirit would later become a hallmark of Steve's career.
Their relationship hit a rough patch when Steve left for Reed College in Oregon. He dropped out after about six months, feeling directionless, while Chrisann began dating someone else. The breakup deeply affected Steve, showcasing his emotional vulnerability despite his often aloof exterior.
An Unexpected Pregnancy
A few years later, Steve and Chrisann rekindled their relationship. Chrisann began working in the packing department of Apple, the fledgling company Steve had started with Wozniak. However, their reunion was short-lived as Chrisann was planning to leave Steve due to his temperamental nature.
Fate had other plans, though. Chrisann discovered she was pregnant, unaware that her body had rejected her contraceptive device. When Steve found out about the pregnancy, his reaction was one of anger and denial. He ran from the room, setting the stage for years of complicated interactions and strained relationships.
Lisa's Birth and Steve's Denial
In 1978, Chrisann gave birth to a baby girl on a farm in Oregon. Steve arrived a few days later, still insisting that the child wasn't his. Despite his denial, he helped Chrisann choose a name for the baby: Lisa.
In the years that followed, Steve continued to deny paternity, leaving Chrisann to raise Lisa alone. Chrisann struggled financially, relying on welfare and taking on odd jobs to make ends meet. Steve's visits were infrequent, and he provided no substantial financial support.
The situation came to a head in 1980 when the district attorney of San Mateo County, California, sued Steve for child support on Chrisann's behalf. Despite his continued denial, a DNA test proved with 94.4% certainty that Steve was Lisa's father. The legal battle dragged on for months until Steve suddenly agreed to pay $500 per month in child support and cover Lisa's health insurance until she turned 18.
The timing of this settlement became clear when, just four days later, Apple went public, making Steve Jobs worth $200 million overnight. This stark contrast between Steve's newfound wealth and his reluctance to support his daughter would become a recurring theme in Lisa's life.
Growing Up in Steve's Shadow
As Lisa grew older, she became increasingly aware of who her father was and the impact he had on the world. At eight years old, she would whisper to her new school friends, "I have a secret. My father is Steve Jobs." However, most of her classmates had no idea who Steve Jobs was, highlighting the disconnect between Steve's public persona and his role as a father.
Lisa's relationship with her mother, Chrisann, was complex. While Chrisann clearly loved her daughter, she also struggled with the challenges of single motherhood and the frustration of watching her ex-partner achieve massive success. These frustrations often manifested in outbursts directed at Lisa, creating a tumultuous home environment.
By the time Lisa was thirteen, the situation at home had become untenable. School officials intervened, contacting Steve and informing him that if he didn't take Lisa in, they would be forced to call social services. For Lisa, the prospect of living with her father seemed like a dream come true - a chance to finally be part of the family she had always longed for.
Life with Steve: A New Family Dynamic
Moving in with Steve and his new family was a significant change for Lisa. She hoped it would bring her closer to her father and provide the stability she craved. However, the reality was far more complicated.
One of Steve's first questions to Lisa was whether she wanted to change her last name to Jobs. This seemingly simple question carried immense weight for Lisa, who felt torn between her loyalty to her mother and her desire to be accepted by her father. In the end, she chose to hyphenate her name to Brennan-Jobs, a decision that pleased Steve but did little to ease her transition into his family.
Lisa found herself walking on eggshells in her new home, afraid to make any mistakes. She diligently performed household chores and looked after her young half-brother, Reed, whenever asked. In an attempt to impress her father and strengthen her college applications, she threw herself into her studies and extracurricular activities.
However, Steve's response to these efforts was often lukewarm at best. He seemed displeased by her commitments to activities at her school in San Francisco, which was over an hour away. Yet when she stayed with friends in the city to accommodate her schedule, he accused her of not being committed to their family.
Steve's treatment of Lisa was often perplexing. He refused to fix the heating in her room or replace her stolen bicycle, despite his considerable wealth. The father-daughter relationship Lisa had hoped for remained elusive, with Steve often accusing her of not wanting to be part of the family.
The Harvard Years: A Chance for Escape
As Lisa approached the end of high school, she saw admission to Harvard as a potential solution to her problems. She hoped it would both raise her in her father's esteem and provide an escape from his constant criticism.
When Lisa was accepted to Harvard, she was overjoyed. She announced the news by taping sheets of paper with "I GOT IN" written on them across the windows in Steve and Laurene's hallway. However, Steve's reaction was underwhelming, reflecting his general skepticism about higher education.
Throughout Lisa's high school years, Steve had often made disparaging comments about her future prospects. He once told her she had "no marketable skills" and joked about her future employment at a strip club. These comments, along with the persistent feeling of loneliness in her father's house, made Lisa eager to start her new life on the East Coast.
Despite his reservations about college, Steve agreed to pay for Lisa's tuition at Harvard. He also bought her a new Armani coat before she left, one of his rare gestures of generosity. Years later, Steve would tell Lisa that the time she lived with his family during high school had been his happiest years, a revelation that surprised her given their often tense relationship.
The Breaking Point
The summer before Lisa's senior year at Harvard marked a turning point in her relationship with Steve. While staying at his house in California, Steve invited Lisa to attend the circus with him, Laurene, and their son Reed. Lisa, who was spending time with her mother Chrisann and feeling a sense of healing in their relationship, declined the invitation.
Steve's reaction was severe. He told Lisa that if she didn't go to the circus, she would need to move out. Hurt but resolute, Lisa reached out to Steve's neighbors, Kevin and Dorothy, who had shown her kindness over the years. Kevin offered her a place to stay, and while Steve and his family were at the circus, Lisa packed her belongings and moved out.
This incident led to a prolonged period of estrangement between Lisa and Steve. He stopped responding to her emails and phone calls, and when Lisa returned to Harvard for her final year, she discovered that her tuition fees hadn't been paid. Once again, Kevin came to her rescue, offering to pay for her last year of college.
Seeking Validation: The Lisa Computer
Throughout her life, Lisa had grappled with questions about her place in Steve's life and heart. One particular point of contention was the Lisa computer, an early Apple product that Steve had developed around the time of Lisa's birth.
As a child, Lisa would sometimes mention to her friends that her father had named a computer after her. However, when she directly asked Steve about it after moving in with him, he flatly denied it, saying it was named after "an old girlfriend." This denial was a source of hurt and confusion for Lisa, who desperately sought validation of her importance in her father's life.
Reconciliation and Revelation
It wasn't until Lisa was in her late twenties that she finally got the confirmation she had long sought. During a yachting trip in the South of France with Steve and his family, they visited Bono of U2. When Bono asked Steve if the Lisa computer was named after his daughter, Steve surprisingly answered, "Yeah, it was." This admission, after years of denial, was a significant moment for Lisa.
As Steve's health declined due to pancreatic cancer, he became more emotionally open with Lisa. In a poignant moment in the hospital, he expressed regret for not spending enough time with her when she was young, saying, "Now it's too late," and "I owe you one."
Final Thoughts
"Small Fry" offers a raw and honest portrayal of Lisa Brennan-Jobs's complicated relationship with her famous father, Steve Jobs. It's a story of a child seeking acceptance and love from a parent who struggled to provide it consistently. The book paints a picture of Steve Jobs that is far from the polished public image of a visionary tech leader. Instead, we see a flawed human being, capable of both casual cruelty and moments of genuine regret and tenderness.
Lisa's journey is one of resilience and self-discovery. Despite the challenges of growing up in the shadow of a famous and often absent father, she forged her own path, eventually finding success at Harvard and beyond. Her story is a testament to the complexity of family relationships and the enduring impact of childhood experiences.
The book also provides insight into the early days of Apple and the tech revolution that Steve Jobs helped to spark. We see glimpses of the entrepreneurial spirit and unconventional thinking that would later make Jobs a legend in the tech world. However, these achievements are always viewed through the lens of their impact on his personal relationships, particularly with Lisa.
One of the most poignant aspects of the book is the gradual thawing of Steve's emotional distance in his final years. As he faced his own mortality, he seemed to recognize the value of the relationship he had long neglected. His admission about naming the Lisa computer after his daughter and his expressions of regret for lost time show a more vulnerable side of the tech icon.
Lisa's relationship with her mother, Chrisann, is another important thread in the story. Despite the difficulties they faced, including financial struggles and emotional outbursts, their bond remained strong. The book ends with a touching moment between Lisa and Chrisann after Steve's death, suggesting a sense of closure and healing.
"Small Fry" is more than just a tell-all about a famous figure. It's a nuanced exploration of family dynamics, the search for identity, and the long-lasting effects of childhood experiences. Lisa Brennan-Jobs's memoir reminds us that even those we view as larger than life are, at their core, human beings with their own struggles and shortcomings.
The book challenges readers to consider the true meaning of family and the responsibilities that come with parenthood. It raises questions about the balance between professional success and personal relationships, and the price of greatness. Through Lisa's eyes, we see the human cost of Steve Jobs's single-minded pursuit of his vision.
Ultimately, "Small Fry" is a story of resilience and forgiveness. Despite the emotional turbulence of her childhood and young adulthood, Lisa emerges as a strong, independent individual. Her ability to find compassion for her father, even in the face of his shortcomings, is a powerful testament to her character.
The memoir serves as a reminder that our relationships with our parents, no matter how complex or difficult, shape us in profound ways. It's a call to empathy, urging us to look beyond public personas and consider the private struggles that lie beneath.
In sharing her story, Lisa Brennan-Jobs offers a unique perspective on one of the most influential figures of our time. But more than that, she provides a deeply human story of love, loss, and the ongoing quest for acceptance and understanding. "Small Fry" is a poignant exploration of family dynamics and personal growth, reminding us of the complexities that exist in all families, famous or not.