The Light We Give

Introduction

In a world filled with anxiety, stress, and uncertainty, it's easy to feel overwhelmed and powerless. From global pandemics to climate change, war, and inequality, the challenges we face can seem insurmountable. However, "The Light We Give" by Simran Jeet Singh offers a refreshing perspective on how to navigate these turbulent times with grace, purpose, and joy.

Drawing from his experiences as a Sikh growing up in Texas and facing discrimination throughout his life, Singh shares timeless wisdom that can transform our approach to life's difficulties. This book is not about avoiding or escaping life's challenges, but rather about embracing them as opportunities for growth, connection, and meaning.

Embracing Change and Adversity

Singh's journey begins with a pivotal moment in American history: September 11, 2001. As a high school senior, he witnessed not only the horror of the terrorist attacks but also the immediate backlash against anyone who looked like the perpetrators – including Sikhs like himself and his family.

For the first time in his life, Singh saw his mother lock their front door. This simple act symbolized a profound shift in their reality. As a Sikh family committed to generosity and community, their door had always remained open to welcome anyone in need. Now, faced with death threats and rising violence against Sikhs across the country, they had to prioritize their safety.

This experience forced Singh to confront the limitations of his previous strategies for dealing with racism and ignorance. While he had often used humor and quick thinking to deflect prejudice, he realized that these tactics were no longer sufficient in a world where misunderstanding could lead to violence.

However, amidst the darkness, Singh and his family also witnessed incredible acts of kindness and support from friends, neighbors, and even strangers. This outpouring of love in the face of hatred became a source of hope and resilience for them.

Singh's story illustrates a crucial lesson: we cannot control the events that happen to us, but we can choose how we respond to them. Instead of allowing fear and anger to consume him, Singh embarked on a journey of self-discovery and growth, diving deep into his core principles and challenging his own biases.

Confronting Bias and Building Connections

As Singh moved on to college and graduate school, he often felt tempted to abandon his visible Sikh identity by cutting his hair and removing his turban. However, instead of giving in to this impulse, he used it as an opportunity for self-reflection.

He began to examine why people held certain beliefs about him and others who looked like him. This process led him to confront his own unconscious biases and assumptions about others. By doing so, he discovered a powerful tool for building connections across differences.

Singh realized that when people told him to "go back where he came from," they were operating under the assumption that there was another place where he truly belonged. But as a Sikh whose ancestors had fled persecution in India, America was supposed to be that place of belonging.

This insight sparked curiosity about the experiences and beliefs that shaped other people's worldviews. Instead of reacting with anger to prejudice, Singh began to approach these encounters with openness and a desire to understand.

This shift in perspective had profound effects:

1. It opened Singh up to the world and helped him stop judging others.
2. It led to deeper conversations and connections with people from all walks of life.
3. It fostered compassion for others and for himself.
4. It created a positive cycle of love and acceptance, countering the vicious cycle of hate.

Singh's experience teaches us that confronting our own biases is essential for building genuine connections with others. By suspending judgment and approaching differences with curiosity, we can create a more inclusive and understanding world.

Finding Light in Darkness

In 2012, Singh faced another profound challenge when a white supremacist attacked a Sikh temple in Oak Creek, Wisconsin, killing six people and wounding several others. This act of violence against his community tested Singh's commitment to seeing the best in others.

In the aftermath of the shooting, Singh wrestled with the urge to label the gunman as purely evil. However, he recognized that this approach wouldn't lead to any meaningful change. Instead, he chose to challenge himself to see the humanity in the shooter, despite the horrific act he had committed.

This decision was inspired by the survivors of the attack, who responded with resilience and optimism even in their grief. Singh observed their capacity to see good in others and embrace the richness of life around them, even in the face of tragedy.

By committing to see the best in others, even in the most difficult situations, Singh discovered a powerful tool for personal transformation:

1. It changed his perspective, making it easier to respond with compassion and hope.
2. It reduced feelings of anger and pessimism.
3. It served as a humble reminder of our shared humanity.
4. It allowed him to find signs of hope in unexpected places.

This practice of finding light in darkness doesn't mean ignoring or minimizing the reality of suffering and injustice. Rather, it's about cultivating a mindset that allows us to respond to challenges with wisdom and compassion, rather than being consumed by negativity.

The Power of Sharing and Service

The COVID-19 pandemic provided Singh with another opportunity to put his principles into practice. Living in New York City during the early days of the outbreak, he and his family faced intense uncertainty and fear.

Drawing on his previous experiences, Singh knew that looking for the good in others and finding comfort in the efforts of helpers could sustain him. However, he also discovered new insights about the transformative power of sharing and service.

Singh observed countless stories of New Yorkers sharing food, resources, and comfort with one another during the lockdown. He noticed that those who shared with others experienced more joy and hope, even in challenging circumstances. This act of sharing allowed people to see the abundance in their own lives with fresh eyes.

However, Singh also grappled with feelings of helplessness, as he couldn't directly assist in the way his wife, a doctor, could. This discomfort led him to a profound realization about the nature of service:

1. He recognized that his previous ideas about activism had been centered on his actions and what he could do for others.
2. He realized that true selfless service involves doing what's best for the community, even if it means staying home during a lockdown.
3. He began to see that intention and attitude are just as important as action in service.

This shift in perspective transformed Singh's experience of the lockdown. Instead of feeling trapped and useless, he saw it as an opportunity to practice selfless service by supporting his family and community through his choices.

The more he embraced this mindset, the more fulfilling and energizing his daily life became. He found that each act of service, no matter how small, increased his happiness and joy. This energy rippled outward, creating positive changes far beyond his immediate efforts.

Singh's experience during the pandemic illustrates the profound impact that sharing and service can have on our well-being and the world around us. By focusing on how we can contribute to others, even in small ways, we can find purpose and joy in any circumstance.

The Power of Self-Reflection

Throughout his journey, Singh discovered the importance of self-reflection and cultivating an outsider's perspective on our own lives. This practice can help us align our actions with our values and find greater fulfillment.

Singh suggests imagining yourself as an alien observer, watching your daily life from an outside perspective. This exercise can reveal discrepancies between what we say is important to us and how we actually spend our time and energy.

For example, you might say that family and friends are your top priority, but an objective observer might conclude that work is your main focus based on how you spend most of your waking hours. Recognizing these contradictions can be uncomfortable, but it's the first step toward making meaningful changes.

The key is to approach this self-reflection with compassion rather than judgment. Understanding the gap between our intentions and our actions allows us to:

1. Have more empathy for ourselves and others who struggle with similar challenges.
2. Find the courage to keep trying to align our actions with our values.
3. Cultivate humility and patience in our personal growth journey.

This practice of self-reflection and cultivating an outsider's perspective can be applied to various aspects of our lives:

• Relationships: Are we giving our loved ones the time and attention they deserve?
• Work-life balance: Are we allocating our energy in a way that reflects our true priorities?
• Personal growth: Are we making progress toward our goals, or are we stuck in unproductive patterns?
• Social impact: Are our actions contributing to the kind of world we want to live in?

By regularly examining our lives from this perspective, we can make intentional choices that bring us closer to living in alignment with our values and aspirations.

Practical Strategies for Cultivating Light

Singh's journey offers several practical strategies that we can incorporate into our daily lives to find more joy, purpose, and resilience:

1. Practice curiosity: When faced with differences or disagreements, approach them with genuine curiosity rather than judgment. Ask questions to understand others' perspectives and experiences.

2. Look for the good: Make a conscious effort to notice and appreciate acts of kindness, beauty, and positivity around you. This can help shift your focus from problems to possibilities.

3. Reflect on your intentions: Before taking action, pause to consider your true motivations. Are you acting out of a desire to serve others or to boost your own ego?

4. Share generously: Look for opportunities to share your resources, time, or skills with others. This can help foster a sense of abundance and connection.

5. Embrace discomfort: When you feel uncomfortable or challenged, see it as an opportunity for growth rather than something to avoid.

6. Practice self-compassion: Be kind to yourself when you fall short of your ideals. Use these moments as opportunities for learning rather than self-criticism.

7. Cultivate an outsider's perspective: Regularly step back and examine your life as if you were an objective observer. Use this insight to make adjustments that align with your values.

8. Find purpose in small actions: Recognize that even seemingly insignificant acts of kindness or service can have a ripple effect on the world around you.

9. Stay connected to your principles: Regularly reflect on your core values and use them as a guide for decision-making in challenging times.

10. Embrace interdependence: Recognize that we are all connected and that our actions impact others. Use this awareness to foster a sense of responsibility and care for your community and the world at large.

The Transformative Power of Perspective

Throughout "The Light We Give," Singh emphasizes that the key to finding joy and purpose in turbulent times lies in our perspective. By choosing to see the world through a lens of compassion, curiosity, and interconnectedness, we can transform our experience of even the most challenging circumstances.

This shift in perspective doesn't happen overnight. It requires consistent practice and a willingness to confront our own biases and limitations. However, the rewards of this inner work are profound:

1. Increased resilience in the face of adversity
2. Deeper, more meaningful connections with others
3. A greater sense of purpose and fulfillment in daily life
4. The ability to find hope and joy even in difficult times
5. A positive impact on those around us and the wider world

Singh's journey from facing discrimination and violence to finding a way to embrace life fully serves as an inspiring example of this transformation. His experiences show that it's possible to cultivate inner peace and joy not in spite of life's challenges, but through them.

Applying the Wisdom in Daily Life

The principles Singh shares can be applied to various aspects of our lives:

• In our personal relationships, we can practice seeing the best in others and approaching conflicts with curiosity rather than judgment.
• At work, we can find purpose by focusing on how our efforts serve others rather than just advancing our own careers.
• In our communities, we can look for opportunities to share and serve, recognizing that these acts benefit us as much as those we help.
• In our approach to social issues, we can strive to understand different perspectives and find common ground rather than becoming entrenched in polarized positions.
• In our personal growth journeys, we can embrace challenges as opportunities for learning and transformation.

By consistently applying these principles, we can create a positive cycle that ripples outward, influencing our immediate surroundings and potentially contributing to broader social change.

Conclusion: Embracing the Light Within

"The Light We Give" offers a powerful message of hope and empowerment in the face of life's challenges. Singh's journey reminds us that while we can't control external circumstances, we have the power to choose how we respond to them.

By cultivating compassion, curiosity, and a sense of interconnectedness, we can find light even in the darkest times. This inner light not only sustains us but also has the power to illuminate the world around us.

The book's central message is that true happiness and fulfillment come not from avoiding life's difficulties, but from engaging with them fully and using them as opportunities for growth and service. It encourages us to see beyond our individual concerns and recognize our role in a larger, interconnected whole.

As we navigate the complexities of modern life, Singh's wisdom offers a roadmap for living with purpose, joy, and resilience. By embracing the light within ourselves and recognizing it in others, we can contribute to creating a more compassionate, understanding, and hopeful world.

In the end, "The Light We Give" is not just about finding personal happiness. It's about recognizing our power to be a force for good in the world, no matter what challenges we face. It's an invitation to live more fully, love more deeply, and contribute more meaningfully to the world around us.

By embracing this perspective, we can transform our own lives and potentially inspire others to do the same. In this way, the light we give becomes a beacon of hope, illuminating the path toward a brighter future for all.