The Person You Mean to Be

All of us like to think of ourselves as good people — unbiased, fair, and thoughtful — but what if our unconscious minds lead us astray?

1. Growth vs. Fixed Mindsets Shape How We Learn About Bias

Our mindset determines how we approach new knowledge and growth, including our understanding of bias. A growth mindset embraces learning, challenges, and mistakes as opportunities, while a fixed mindset accepts abilities and attitudes as permanent. When confronting bias, a growth mindset allows us to evolve and address areas of improvement, while a fixed mindset can leave harmful prejudices intact.

For example, filmmaker Perrin Chiles chose to direct a documentary about autism, stepping into an unfamiliar subject matter out of a desire to learn. His growth mindset led to "Autism: The Musical," which illuminated the reality of autism for millions of viewers. On the other hand, a fixed mindset, particularly in industries like Hollywood, has held back inclusive storytelling. Women hold only 27% of speaking roles in films, and 48 of 2015’s top films didn’t feature a single Black actor in a speaking role.

People’s reluctance to recognize bias stems from self-protective fixed beliefs — admitting bias can feel frightening. But by opening ourselves to experimentation and reflection like Chiles, we can challenge systemic prejudice and create an environment that welcomes diverse perspectives.

Examples

• Perrin Chiles learned and grew through making "Autism: The Musical."
• Hollywood continues to reinforce fixed mindsets with limited representation.
• Individuals who believe in fixed abilities avoid situations that could improve inclusivity.

2. Testing the Unconscious Reveals Our Hidden Beliefs

It’s easy to believe we instinctively treat everyone equally. Yet unconscious biases, lurking beneath our conscious awareness, influence our thoughts and actions. Tools like the Implicit Association Test (IAT) have revealed these hidden prejudices, often surprising those who consider themselves inclusive.

The IAT measures quick decision-making to uncover associations we subconsciously make, such as connecting women to domestic roles or Black individuals to danger. Surprisingly, 75% of participants revealed gendered biases favoring men in careers, and 85% of white participants associated Black people with weapons. Many progressive participants were stunned by these results, which highlighted mental patterns out of step with their explicit beliefs.

This research demonstrates how deeply ingrained cultural and societal narratives shape our perceptions. Acknowledging these biases is the first step toward change, allowing us to consciously challenge hidden associations in our everyday actions.

Examples

• IAT results show 75% associate women more with domestic spaces.
• The test revealed 85% of white Americans link Black people to danger.
• Progressive test-takers were surprised by their unconscious preferences.

3. Privilege is Hard to See While It’s Benefiting You

Recognizing privilege can feel uncomfortable, as it challenges cherished narratives of effort and achievement. Research indicates that reminders of privilege often trigger defensiveness, with privileged individuals inflating their struggles as a way to rebalance their self-image.

For instance, Stanford psychologists found that white Americans presented their childhoods as more difficult after learning about white privilege. Similarly, high earners emphasized their jobs’ difficulties after reminders of workplace benefits. However, when participants reflected on personal achievements before discussing privilege, they were more willing to acknowledge their advantages.

Far from undermining personal effort, recognizing privilege offers honest clarity about systemic inequalities. With this understanding, there’s greater opportunity for achieving fairness in how we value success and allocate resources.

Examples

• White participants downplayed privilege by exaggerating struggles in a Stanford study.
• High earners dismissed their benefits by focusing on job effort.
• Positive reinforcement led to honest acknowledgments of privilege.

4. Overcoming Bias Requires Intentional Action

Confronting our biases takes more than awareness—it demands deliberate work and exposure to diversity. Without challenging internal patterns, unconscious habits linger, even among well-meaning individuals.

Consider the experience of Kimberly Davis, a Black female executive. At a convention with white women executives, Davis felt invisible, not due to overt exclusion, but subtle unconscious bias. Participants didn’t recognize her as a peer. Similarly, Joe Lentine from Detroit only noticed his own racial biases after building deep relationships with Black friends during college.

Lentine proactively addressed this bias in adulthood by traveling abroad and supporting diversity initiatives in his company. Personal interaction and purposeful efforts are powerful tools for dismantling our unseen prejudices.

Examples

• Kimberly Davis faced silent exclusion at an executive gathering.
• Lentine’s Detroit upbringing insulated him from diversity despite proximity.
• Cross-cultural travel and workplace initiatives helped Lentine combat bias.

5. Privilege Comes With a Duty to Confront Bias

Those benefiting from privilege hold unique influence in disrupting discrimination. Research shows interventions are more effective when made by privileged individuals, as their voices command greater attention and face less backlash.

African-American poet Christopher Owens noted how often people expected him, rather than other white individuals, to address racist remarks. Psychologists Alexander Czopp and Margo Monteith found that white objections to racism were taken more seriously, reflecting perceived connections between privilege and power. In workplaces, white male leaders promoting diversity faced fewer risks than colleagues from minority backgrounds.

This disproportionate influence underscores the moral responsibility of privileged individuals to challenge systemic inequities, using their safety and authority for impactful action.

Examples

• Christopher Owens received constant requests to address racist remarks.
• Czopp and Monteith found white criticisms of racism more effective.
• White male executives faced less scrutiny for diversity efforts.

6. Developing Racial Awareness Takes Persistence

For many white people, acknowledging racial bias involves moving through stages of growth: denial, acceptance, and deeper understanding. Skipping steps can shortcut meaningful reflection, leaving unconscious biases intact despite well-meaning intentions.

Author Jodi Picoult began this journey when her son pointed out her racial blind spots. Progressing from shock to awareness, she attended anti-racism workshops to explore her biases, culminating in the book "Small Great Things." While painful, her growth demonstrated the importance of self-reflection for redefining one’s identity and relationships.

Building this awareness means embracing discomfort and examining conditioned assumptions. By doing so, we open ourselves to seeing the world through diverse lenses.

Examples

• Jodi Picoult initially equated racism with only extremist behavior.
• Anti-racism workshops helped Picoult confront unconscious biases.
• Her journey inspired the novel "Small Great Things."

7. Rejecting Color-Blindness Is Essential

Claiming not to see race may seem unbiased, but it denies the lived experiences and challenges of people of color. Pretending to be color-blind perpetuates harm by erasing identity and averting important conversations about justice.

In one study, white participants partnered with Black individuals often refused to acknowledge race during guessing games. This approach didn’t foster equality—instead, Black participants saw this behavior as avoiding necessary dialogue about race. Similarly, pigeonholing identities with “positive” stereotypes, like assuming all Asian Americans excel academically, limits autonomy and creates barriers.

Rather than erase differences, we should embrace understanding and awareness, acknowledging the full humanity of each individual.

Examples

• Study participants avoided discussing racial differences, worsening perceptions.
• Positive stereotypes about Asian Americans still perpetuate harm.
• Denying visible identities reduces opportunities for honesty and growth.

8. Listening Creates Inclusive Work Environments

Listening well is vital in making inclusive spaces where people feel valued. Often, minority voices are overlooked or discounted due to unconscious biases. Awareness is key to giving everyone fair acknowledgment.

In a Boston jelly bean experiment, participants consistently valued advice from white male voices over Black or Latino ones, even when all advice was equally valid. Additionally, researchers found people in group projects disproportionately credit themselves, often downplaying team contributions. These tendencies hurt diversity and innovation.

By consciously listening and distributing credit fairly, we can foster workplaces where diverse talent thrives and all voices are heard.

Examples

• Participants trusted advice from white male voices over minority voices.
• Self-crediting bias in group projects diminishes minority contributions.
• Actively recognizing voices ensures inclusive teamwork.

9. Media Shapes Perceptions and Bias

The stories we consume shape how we understand others. A lack of diversity in media perpetuates narrow worldviews and reinforces unconscious prejudices. Embracing inclusive content expands our empathy by exposing us to different lived experiences.

Shows like "Black-ish" and "Modern Family" introduce varied narratives, challenging stereotypes and broadening perspectives. In contrast, a media diet focused solely on white, heteronormative characters limits awareness and fuels implicit bias. Choosing films and shows that reflect reality’s diversity builds the foundation for appreciation and understanding.

Examples

• "Black-ish" offers insights into race and family in America.
• Limited diversity in media normalizes narrow storytelling.
• Inclusive media fosters empathy for diverse experiences.

Takeaways

1. Take an Implicit Association Test to understand your unconscious biases and confront areas for growth.
2. Proactively widen your exposure to diverse voices, whether through media, friendships, or community events.
3. Commit to listening actively in discussions, especially to minority voices, avoiding distractions or assumptions.