The Status Game

Introduction

In "The Status Game," Will Storr explores the fundamental human drive for social status and its profound impact on our behavior, relationships, and society as a whole. This book delves into the psychology behind our constant pursuit of status, revealing how it shapes our identities, motivates our actions, and influences our interactions with others.

Storr argues that understanding the status game is crucial for navigating our social world and finding fulfillment in life. By examining various aspects of status-seeking behavior, from everyday interactions to global conflicts, he provides valuable insights into human nature and offers guidance on how to play the status game wisely.

Born to Play: The Innate Need for Status

The Case of Ben Gunn

The story of Ben Gunn, a man who spent 25 years in prison for a murder he committed at age 14, illustrates the powerful influence of status on human behavior. Despite having supporters working for his release, Ben repeatedly sabotaged his chances of freedom by committing minor offenses. This seemingly irrational behavior stemmed from the status he had gained within the prison community through his studies, advocacy for fellow inmates, and writing achievements.

Ben's story highlights a crucial aspect of human nature: our innate need to belong to a group and seek status within it. This drive is so strong that it can override even the desire for freedom.

The Universal Status Game

Status-seeking behavior is not unique to prison environments; it's a fundamental aspect of human nature that manifests in all areas of life. We play status games in our workplaces, social circles, online communities, and even in our own minds. These games serve several purposes:

1. Practical benefits: Higher status often leads to better access to resources, more mating opportunities, and improved prospects for offspring.

2. Emotional needs: Status games fulfill our need for meaning, purpose, and self-worth.

3. Identity formation: Our status within various groups shapes how we see ourselves and how we behave.

4. Motivation: The pursuit of status can drive us to work hard, innovate, and achieve great things.

However, status games also have a dark side. The fear of losing status can cause anxiety and lead to harmful behaviors as we desperately try to maintain or improve our position. Moreover, disconnection from groups and low status are linked to poorer physical and mental health.

The Rules and Symbols of the Status Game

Status Symbols in Action

The story of vice presidents at an American corporation upgrading their desk pen sets illustrates how even seemingly trivial objects can become powerful status symbols. This anecdote demonstrates that status-seeking behavior is often unconscious and pervasive, even among those who believe they're above such petty displays.

The Language of Status

Our brains are constantly assessing and comparing our status relative to others through various cues:

1. Possessions: Expensive logos and luxury items signal high status.
2. Appearance: Confident posture and grooming communicate status.
3. Behavior: Steady vocal tones and assertive body language indicate high status.

These status cues influence our behavior, often without our awareness. For example, studies of Larry King's interviews revealed that he unconsciously adjusted his tone to match the perceived status of his guests.

Cultural Variations in Status Games

Different cultures have unique ways of playing status games:

1. Pohnpei yam festivals: Growing and presenting the largest yam confers status, with strict etiquette surrounding the tradition.
2. 1950s American car culture: The size and style of one's car served as a status symbol.
3. Western vs. Eastern approaches: Western cultures tend to emphasize individual achievement, while Eastern cultures often prioritize collective success.

Despite these variations, status games universally create both kinship and rivalry within groups. We seek to stand out from our peers while simultaneously conforming to cultural norms.

Three Strategies for Playing the Status Game

1. The Prestige Game

The prestige game involves gaining status through admiration and respect from others. This strategy relies on demonstrating valuable skills, knowledge, or qualities that others want to emulate.

Historical Example: The Decline of Dueling

The practice of dueling among noblemen to settle disputes illustrates how prestige games can lose their effectiveness. When commoners began imitating this practice, it lost its exclusive status, and the nobility abandoned it.

Modern Prestige Games

In contemporary society, we still seek to copy and emulate high-status individuals:

1. We unconsciously mimic successful people in hopes of achieving similar success.
2. We use cues like appearance, skill level, and visible signs of success to identify whom we should learn from.
3. The internet has amplified our ability to create and follow celebrities.

The Paradox of Prestige

High-status individuals face a dilemma: while imitation is flattering, it also dilutes their influence over time. This leads to a constant search for new, exclusive symbols of prestige to maintain their status.

2. The Dominance Game

The dominance game involves gaining status through force, coercion, or intimidation. This strategy can be effective in the short term but often breeds resentment and resistance.

Case Study: Caren Turner's Fall from Grace

The story of Caren Turner, who lost her job and social standing after aggressively confronting police officers, illustrates the risks of playing the dominance game. Her attempt to use her status as a former federal prosecutor backfired spectacularly when her behavior was caught on camera.

The Biology of Dominance

Dominance behavior is rooted in our evolutionary history:

1. It stems from our fight-or-flight response to threats.
2. While physical dominance is less common in modern society, we still engage in psychological dominance games.
3. Both men and women play dominance games, but they often use different tactics (e.g., men are more likely to use physical intimidation, while women may rely more on social exclusion and reputation damage).

The Effectiveness of Dominance

Dominance can be an effective strategy in certain situations:

1. It often works in unclear status hierarchies.
2. Higher-status individuals are more likely to get their way through dominance.
3. In times of perceived collective threat, people may prefer dominant leaders.

However, dominance has significant drawbacks:

1. It breeds resentment and resistance.
2. It compels obedience but does not inspire genuine admiration or emulation.
3. It can lead to a cycle of violence and retaliation.

3. The Humiliation Game

The humiliation game is the most destructive strategy in status competitions. It involves stripping someone of their status and self-worth, often with severe consequences.

The Psychology of Humiliation

For humiliation to occur, several factors must be present:

1. The victim must believe they deserve status.
2. They must suffer a public loss of status.
3. The humiliation is typically inflicted by someone of higher rank.
4. The victim is denied the opportunity to participate in status games and is exiled from their group.

The Dangers of Humiliation

Humiliation can have severe consequences:

1. It can drive people to violence as they attempt to regain status through force.
2. Many school shootings in the US are carried out by individuals who felt entitled to status but experienced rejection.
3. Honor killings in some cultures are attempts to restore family status after perceived disgrace.
4. Humiliation can lead to suicide when people overinvest in external markers of status rather than inner self-worth.

Understanding the psychology of humiliation provides insight into many acts of violence and self-harm.

The Status Slot Machine: Social Media and Addiction

The Birth of Addictive Social Media

The work of Stanford psychologist B.J. Fogg played a crucial role in shaping the addictive nature of social media platforms. Fogg taught his students how to create compelling apps using three key elements:

1. Motivation
2. Trigger
3. Ease of action

This model was applied to platforms like LinkedIn, where users were motivated by status icons, triggered by notifications, and able to easily navigate and grow their networks.

The Gambling-Like Nature of Social Media

Social media platforms have become like slot machines for status:

1. They offer unpredictable, gambling-like rewards (likes, comments, followers).
2. The element of suspense creates excitement and anticipation.
3. Users never know exactly how much validation they'll receive, which keeps them coming back for more.

The Intensification of Status Games

Social media has amplified various status games:

1. Success games (displaying achievements and lifestyle)
2. Virtue games (showcasing moral superiority)
3. Dominance games (engaging in online arguments and bullying)

Tech companies have fine-tuned these games to make them highly addictive, leading to compulsive status-seeking behavior.

The Consequences of Social Media Addiction

The addictive nature of social media has led to concerning behaviors:

1. People check their phones nearly 100 times a day on average.
2. Many users reach for their phones as soon as they wake up.
3. The constant pursuit of online validation can negatively impact mental health and real-world relationships.

While Fogg warned about the dangers of compulsive status-seeking, the genie is out of the bottle, and it will be challenging to mitigate the consequences of his influential work.

Status Games and Global Conflicts

The Role of Status in World War II

The rise of Hitler and the events leading to World War II demonstrate how status games can escalate into global conflicts:

1. Germany's humiliation after World War I created fertile ground for Hitler's message of restoring national pride and status.
2. As Hitler gained support, he increased the stakes and tightened the rules of the status game.
3. Personal freedoms were erased as individual identities merged with the collective game.

The Escalation of Status Games

When status games intensify, several dangerous patterns emerge:

1. Doubters are pressured to display loyalty by accusing others of disloyalty.
2. Witch-hunts begin as people suppress their own doubts by projecting treason onto others.
3. Calls arise to change rules and make laws to combat perceived threats.
4. Demand grows for purity, conformity, and displays of devotion.
5. Double standards emerge, with people punishing opponents for actions they would overlook in their own group.

Historical Examples of Extreme Status Games

Throughout history, extreme status games have led to devastating consequences:

1. The Spanish Inquisition encouraged anonymous accusations against suspected infidels.
2. Political revolutions often involve intense status games between opposing factions.
3. Genocides are extreme examples of status games taken to their most horrific conclusion.

The Cycle of Humiliation and Violence

Mass humiliation often culminates in wars, massacres, and terrorist attacks. Understanding the role of status in these conflicts is crucial for preventing and resolving them.

Playing the Status Game Wisely

The Never-Ending Nature of Status Games

Even highly successful individuals like Sir Paul McCartney continue to play status games, as evidenced by his desire to have his name listed first in songwriting credits. This illustrates that no one can truly "win" the status game permanently.

Strategies for Healthy Status-Seeking

To engage in status games in a way that promotes success and peace:

1. Cultivate positive qualities:

   • Warmth: Signal that you won't try to dominate others.
   • Sincerity: Show that you'll play fair.
   • Competence: Demonstrate that you'll enrich the game for everyone's benefit.

2. Diversify your status games:

   • Avoid becoming obsessed with one game or group.
   • Play diverse games across a hierarchy of importance.
   • Invest most heavily in one or two top games.

3. Practice mindful judgment:

   • Think carefully before judging others.
   • Avoid seeking cheap status through virtue signaling.
   • Focus on self-improvement rather than criticizing others.

4. Embrace nuance and complexity:

   • View arguments as trade-offs rather than battles with winners and losers.
   • Recognize that there can be truth on multiple sides of an issue.

5. Stand out through positive nonconformity:

   • Engage in small acts of originality that don't violate your group's core values.
   • Attract positive attention through courage and creativity.

6. Avoid the illusion of endless conflict:

   • Remember the simplicity of focusing on basic needs.
   • Move on to more meaningful and fulfilling games as you grow.

7. Cultivate wisdom and detachment:

   • Use your experience to play games lightly, without clinging to transient status.
   • Strive to gain influence through competence, creativity, and compassion.

Final Thoughts: The Balancing Act of Status

Understanding the status game is crucial for navigating our social world and finding fulfillment in life. While our innate drive for status can motivate us to achieve great things, it can also lead to anxiety, conflict, and destructive behavior.

By recognizing the various strategies and pitfalls of status games, we can make more conscious choices about how we engage with others and pursue our goals. The key is to strike a balance between healthy status-seeking and detachment from the endless competition for social standing.

Ultimately, lasting status comes from developing genuine talent, strong character, and the ability to play multiple games across the hierarchy of life. By focusing on personal growth, empathy, and cooperation, we can satisfy our need for status while contributing positively to our communities and the world at large.

As we become more aware of the status games playing out around us, we gain the power to choose how we participate. We can learn to judge less, empathize more, and resist the urge to dominate others. In doing so, we not only improve our own well-being but also contribute to a more harmonious and compassionate society.

The status game is an inescapable part of human nature, but by playing it wisely, we can find meaning, connection, and satisfaction beyond the fleeting rewards of social standing. As we navigate the complex web of status games throughout our lives, let us strive to be players who elevate others, foster cooperation, and leave a positive legacy in the games we choose to play.