The Urgent Life Summary

Don’t delay—go live your life: urgently. Because tomorrow might not come.

1. Answer the Call of Life

Living urgently requires seizing opportunities to connect with others. Bozoma learned this after her college boyfriend, Ben, took his own life. Ben had called her on the night he died, but she didn’t pick up. This moment became a lasting regret and shaped her approach to life.

Bozoma carried Ben’s story with her, often replaying that night in her mind. While therapy and time helped her understand that Ben’s actions were not her fault, she resolved to never miss another chance to connect with loved ones. Her experience taught her the importance of picking up the phone, expressing her emotions freely, and taking each opportunity to show care.

This commitment goes beyond just phone calls. Bozoma refuses to delay joy, love, or affection. In her words, there’s no guarantee of a second chance. Her story reminds us to value every interaction, no matter how small.

Examples

• Ignoring Ben’s call became a turning point in her life.
• She now prioritizes calling loved ones back immediately, no matter how busy she is.
• Bozoma encourages others to be present and cherish emotional connections.

2. Tune In to Your Inner Voice

Bozoma’s path was shaped by following her intuition, even when it clashed with external expectations. Despite pressure from her parents to become a doctor, she pursued her passion for marketing, trusting that it aligned with her true self.

As the eldest daughter in a traditional Ghanaian family, it was hard to defy her parents’ wishes. They had sacrificed greatly for her to build a future in the U.S. Yet Bozoma saw that she’d never feel fulfilled as a doctor. Following her internal compass allowed her to step into a vibrant career that made her happy.

Her relationship with Peter, a white man, was another area where she trusted her instincts over societal judgments. Despite facing criticism from both families and strangers, Bozoma chose love. This decision brought her great joy and the experience of deep connection.

Examples

• She turned away from a "safe" path in medicine to pursue a career in marketing.
• Bozoma moved to New York, carving her own way in an industry dominated by men.
• Choosing Peter meant embracing love despite cultural and societal barriers.

3. Take Bold Moves

Boldness has defined Bozoma’s professional success. She didn’t wait to be noticed—she demanded space in rooms where her presence was unexpected. As the first Black woman in Netflix’s C-suite, she broke through both racial and gender barriers.

Her fearlessness began early, with a key moment during her time at Spike Lee’s advertising agency. Though she was an assistant, she trusted her instincts and asked if she could read his scripts. That bravery set the stage for her career trajectory, showing that confidence can open doors.

Bozoma also attributes this boldness to her upbringing. Her parents instilled a sense of pride in her Ghanaian identity, teaching her to embrace being different. Standing out became her strength, and it’s how she’s thrived in predominantly white spaces.

Examples

• She became the head of marketing at Pepsi and later at Netflix.
• Blazing trails as a Black woman in corporate America required immense courage.
• A bold request to Spike Lee helped kick-start her career.

4. Life’s Twists Require Flexibility

Bozoma teaches us to embrace life’s unexpected changes without fear. Her relationship with Peter went through various stages—early love, separation, and eventual reunion. Each shift required her to trust new directions.

Initially, Bozoma and Peter broke up because their differences seemed insurmountable. But when Peter was diagnosed with terminal cancer, Bozoma made a U-turn. She set aside her past grievances to spend their last moments together, creating a loving bond in his final months.

This shows that even as life shifts, we gain by staying adaptable. Living urgently means being open to change and recognizing when it’s time to pivot.

Examples

• Bozoma’s intuition led her out of her marriage with Peter when she felt stifled.
• She later reunited with Peter to honor his wish of spending his last days as a family.
• Her ability to change course has allowed her to embrace joy in challenging times.

5. Cherish the Helpers in Your Journey

Bozoma’s story celebrates the people who supported her in unexpected ways. While she may appear to embody the “self-made” narrative, she acknowledges the kindness of strangers and loved ones at key moments.

When she first arrived in New York, uncertain about her career, an old college friend let her stay on their couch. Another defining act of generosity came from a diner waitress who slipped her free bread rolls when she had no money to eat. These simple acts of kindness fueled her forward.

Bozoma deeply believes in being guided, whether it’s through chance encounters or spiritual presence, like her late husband Peter. Recognizing these moments of support allows her to thrive in gratitude and never lose sight of the web of connection surrounding her.

Examples

• A waitress at a diner showed her unexpected kindness during tough times.
• She draws strength from reflecting on the presence of her late husband in subtle signs.
• Friends and everyday angels kept her afloat when she struggled.

6. Be Present Amid Loss

Bozoma developed the habit of embracing life fully even during times of grief. Losing her daughter Eve during childbirth profoundly shaped this perspective. While pain never leaves, she uses it to deepen her appreciation for each moment.

Instead of closing herself off, Bozoma chooses to focus on the beauty of the present. Spending time with her surviving daughter Lael, noticing nature, and laughing with friends are ways she grounds herself. These moments of presence make her resilient.

Her philosophy is simple yet powerful: let loss open you up to wonder. Bozoma encourages embracing small joys and appreciating everyday beauty rather than being consumed by sorrow.

Examples

• She finds healing through daily moments with her daughter Lael.
• Seeing beauty in cloud patterns brings her comfort during hard days.
• Loss has taught her to notice wonder in even the smallest things.

7. Love is Worth the Risk

Despite heartbreak, Bozoma’s relationship with Peter shows us that love is always worth it. Their marriage faced tumultuous challenges, yet it also brought immense joy and deep connection. In his final days, they rediscovered their bond.

Bozoma’s choice to reconcile with Peter during his illness demonstrates the healing power of love. She let go of past mistakes and focused on creating beautiful memories with him. The depth of their love remained a source of strength, even through loss.

This story proves that love requires courage and vulnerability. It’s not always easy, but actively choosing love can lead to profound growth and fulfillment.

Examples

• Reconciling with Peter allowed them to reunite during his final months.
• Sharing meaningful conversations restored their loving connection.
• Their time together taught Bozoma to focus on the beauty of moments over the pain.

8. Bold Advocacy for Yourself

Living authentically involves standing up for your needs. Bozoma didn’t shy away when she felt confined in her marriage. She separated from Peter to preserve her sense of self, knowing it was the right step for her well-being.

Advocating for yourself is vital in all relationships, personal or professional. Bozoma’s willingness to confront discomfort helped her grow instead of settling in unhappy situations. Self-worth and empowerment were her guiding principles.

Her strength in advocating inspired those around her, proving the importance of staying true to oneself even in difficult circumstances.

Examples

• She left her marriage initially to regain her independence.
• Professionally, she continues to demand equal respect in corporate spaces.
• Her bold moves encouraged her peers to stand up for themselves.

9. Live Your Legacy

Bozoma’s story demonstrates that living urgently creates a legacy of love, boldness, and connection. Her losses have pushed her to value the time she has, focusing on how she positively impacts others.

Valuing her relationships deeply, she fosters love and compassion. Through her career achievements, she’s opened doors for others, especially as a trailblazing Black woman in corporate leadership. Everything she does comes from her urgency to make her time count.

This legacy inspires others to live their own lives fully. Bozoma’s message is both simple and life-changing: don’t wait for someday—live now.

Examples

• Her professional trailblazing has helped elevate underrepresented voices.
• Her loving approach to relationships leaves lasting impacts on those she connects with.
• She uses her experiences to inspire others to embrace their unique paths.

Takeaways

1. Always take the chance to connect—pick up the phone, send that message, or say "I love you" without delay.
2. Be bold in your choices: trust your instincts, take risks, and embrace opportunities to stand out.
3. Treat everyday wonders and the people around you as gifts, valuing each moment with an open heart.