The Worry Trick

Why does worrying feel like solving problems when it’s actually creating them? Learn how to outwit the tricks your mind plays on you.

1. Worry Escalates When Doubt Feels Like Danger

Worry starts with doubt, like "What if I’m late?" For most people, the thought passes. But worry-prone individuals interpret doubt as a major threat. It’s as if the mind sends out a false alarm. Their reaction? They focus on neutralizing this phantom danger, feeding the worry further.

When the brain sees doubt as danger, it propels us into action to “fix” the issue – even if it’s hypothetical. Arguing to rationalize doubts or distracting oneself just gives them more power. This cycle reinforces the worry, making the imagined scenarios feel even more real. That’s the "trick" worry pulls on us.

This trick draws individuals into focusing energy on proving that future catastrophes won't happen. But since the unknown can never be fully ruled out, this effort is endless and exhausting. Instead of resolving concerns, the brain becomes more convinced that the worry itself signals a real threat.

Examples

• Doubting your boss will like your report leads to imagining job loss, worsening focus on work.
• Fear of illness makes someone compulsively search symptoms online, amplifying dread.
• Distracting yourself from thinking of past mistakes causes overthinking the same later.

2. The Relationship with Worry Determines Its Grip

Worry is like a persistent, unwelcome guest in our minds. The key to reducing its power lies in analyzing how we relate to it. Do we treat worry like an important warning we must obey, or do we fear it and want to push it away?

When worry is treated as a serious signal, people often try to satisfy it by seeking reassurance, over-preparing, or performing rituals to prevent imagined harm. This only validates the worry. Alternately, if we become upset about our constant worrying, we might try suppressing or denying it. But this too backfires, amplifying its impact.

A healthier relationship sees worry for what it is—just a thought, not a danger. Instead of reacting emotionally or defensively, successful approaches involve acknowledging the worry and moving on without giving it undue attention. It’s about coexisting without falling into its trap.

Examples

• Obsessing over health leads to constant doctor visits, validating unfounded fears.
• Procrastinating on assignments stems from fearing failure, creating a cycle of avoidance.
• Using alcohol or overeating to suppress worry often worsens emotional struggles.

3. Spot the “What If” Patterns in Worry

Most worries start with the words, "What if?" This phrase reveals how worry relies on imagining unreal problems as if they’re happening. By spotting and naming these “what if” thoughts, we uncover how trivial and unlikely they often are.

“What if” scenarios mimic real concerns but exist only in the hypothetical. For example, you only think “What if I get fired?” when no real threat exists. When actual conflicts arise, our brains focus on solving them, not imagining them. Recognizing this phrasing interrupts the cycle of worry and reminds us that these are games of imagination, not evidence of danger.

By shifting your perception, you avoid being lured into the trap of treating “what ifs” as serious. This subtle change helps you detach and see your thoughts objectively, reducing their grip on you.

Examples

• "What if my car breaks down?" while driving safely on a routine trip.
• “What if I’m not good enough?” after a successful job interview.
• "What if the presentation goes wrong?" despite hours of preparation.

4. Humor Worry Instead of Fighting It

Fighting worry directly only fuels it, much like engaging a persistent complainer. Instead, try humor. Treat worry like a rambling dinner guest—listen politely, exaggerate its points, and move on.

Humoring worry shifts its power dynamic. For instance, expanding a small worry into an absurd story makes it less emotionally impactful. If you think, “What if I lose my way on the map?” you could add, “And then I’ll be wandering the wilderness for the rest of my life!” This approach reduces the sense of danger while showing that worry isn’t grounded in reality.

This method weakens the emotional grip of persistent concerns. It’s not about ignoring worry but changing your emotional response. Humor defuses anxiety, making it easier to prioritize logical thoughts over irrational fears.

Examples

• Overexaggerating public speaking fears ("My pitch will make headlines for its absurdity!").
• Treating deadline stress with humor ("Yes, I’m launching a Netflix series if I miss this deadline.").
• Laughing about clumsiness ("I’m training for the Olympics of tripping!").

5. Scheduled Worry Time Helps Control It

Rather than letting intrusive thoughts take over your day at random, schedule a daily “worry time.” Giving it a specific time reduces how often it interrupts you in inconvenient moments.

During this set time, openly acknowledge your worries, talk or write them out, and then move on. It’s not about solving these concerns but giving them space to exist without hijacking your day. Paradoxically, knowing you can return to worrying later keeps your mind freer in the meantime.

This habit is like calling an annoying neighbor to air grievances at a convenient time—it compartmentalizes the issue so it doesn’t dominate interactions.

Examples

• Setting 15 minutes in the evening to jot down concerns and thoughts.
• Postponing midday intrusive thoughts to deal with them later calmly.
• Watching worries in front of a mirror to depersonalize them.

6. Breathing Exercises Reduce Anxiety

Simple breathing exercises can significantly reduce the physiological impact of worry. Proper breathing counters the body’s “fight or flight” response, helping redirect focus from emotional to logical processing.

Breathing exercises involve slow, deliberate breaths. Start by exhaling fully, breathing in through the nose, holding for a moment, and breathing out through the mouth. This pattern grounds your mind in something tangible—the breath—rather than letting it spiral into imagined future concerns.

Practicing this throughout the day, especially during worry-inducing events, builds a calmer baseline, limiting the emotional sway of nagging thoughts.

Examples

• Taking deep breaths during traffic jams to avoid road rage or frustration.
• Using breathing techniques during demanding workplace moments.
• Calming a racing mind before sleep by slow exhalation.

7. Mindfulness Builds a Detached View of Worry

Mindfulness meditation teaches you to observe thoughts without reacting to them emotionally. This practice is vital when dealing with unwelcome worries, as it fosters acceptance rather than rejection.

Mindfulness involves focusing on the present, like your breath or external sounds. When intrusive thoughts appear, acknowledge them neutrally and redirect focus to the present. Over time, this reduces the power worries have over you, building a healthier way to navigate emotions.

This daily practice trains you to distinguish between real problems and mere distractions, empowering clearer decisions and reduced emotional reactivity.

Examples

• Using mindfulness apps for 10-minute guided practice daily.
• Observing but not engaging with anxious thoughts while journaling.
• Focusing on sounds in nature during walks to stay present.

8. Repetition Diminishes Worry’s Power

Repeating a worry aloud many times lessens the emotional charge it holds. By hearing the problem phrase repeatedly, your brain loses its heightened reaction to it.

For instance, standing in front of a mirror and saying, “What if I fail the exam?” 25 times emphasizes its harmless nature. The repetition demonstrates how exaggerated the concern often is—turning it into hollow words rather than a feeling of dread.

Though it may feel strange, this method allows you to humor worry while also directly confronting it, further dismantling its control over you.

Examples

• Repeating “What if I can’t meet the deadline?” loudly and then quietly.
• Turning financial concerns into humorous parodies through repetition.
• Memorizing the phrasing of worries to neutralize automatic responses.

9. Worry Doesn’t Need a Solution, Just Management

The ultimate lesson is that worry doesn’t disappear completely—it is part of being human. The goal isn’t elimination but adopting simple strategies that weaken its control over your life.

By focusing on your relationship with worries, reframing fears, and practicing healthier habits, you can coexist without anxiety taking center stage. In the end, it’s not the presence of worries but how you respond to them that makes all the difference.

Adopting practices like humor, mindfulness, or scheduled “worry time” shifts the dynamic, giving you freedom from toxic overthinking.

Examples

• Accepting a few daily concerns instead of demanding total calm.
• Using skills learned in therapy or mindfulness training for long-term improvements.
• Journaling progress in new worry management habits.

Takeaways

1. Designate a daily worry block to express concerns intentionally, limiting their control of your schedule.
2. Practice 10-minute breathing or mindfulness exercises to reframe how you handle intrusive thoughts.
3. Transform worry into humor or repeated statements, stripping it of emotional power over time.