Thicker Than Water Summary

Vulnerability reveals our strength, not our weakness. It's through sharing our stories that we truly connect and heal.

1. Rooted in the Bronx, shaped by two worlds

Kerry Washington's childhood offers a glimpse into the duality of her upbringing. Splitting time between her mother’s home in suburban Bronxville and her father’s apartment in Harlem, she grew up navigating two distinct worlds. This division taught her adaptability and a deep understanding of diverse social dynamics.

Her mother, a dedicated academic, emphasized discipline, education, and ambition, while her father instilled pride in Black culture and community. Through these contrasting influences, Kerry developed her sense of identity and tools to balance expectations. She worked tirelessly to meet her mother’s academic standards while simultaneously maintaining a connection to her cultural heritage.

These early experiences shaped her worldview and eventually her activism. Moving between privilege and struggle, she felt a responsibility – driven by the legacy of ancestors who endured hardship – to utilize her platform for good. It was in this unique upbringing that she found the seeds of empathy and determination, qualities that would define her path.

Examples

• Grew up dividing her time between wealthy Bronxville and her working-class father’s Harlem apartment
• Her mother stressed academic excellence, while her father fostered cultural pride
• These early dynamics fueled her commitment to supporting marginalized communities

2. Discovering her passion for acting

Kerry’s love for performing blossomed in high school when she landed the lead in a school play. The stage felt transformative—offering her a space to explore emotions and tell stories beyond her own reality. While she achieved academic success, her artistic instincts pulled her toward acting.

At George Washington University, she balanced a double major in anthropology and sociology while diving deeply into the performing arts. Unsure at first if acting could be a viable career, she pursued formal training and gained her earliest roles in small indie projects.

These formative years taught her persistence and resilience. For Kerry, acting wasn’t just about fame—it was storytelling with a purpose. The craft became her medium to reflect, challenge, and connect human experiences, particularly those of marginalized voices.

Examples

• Starred in a high school play, sparking her passion for acting
• Juggled academics and creativity at George Washington University
• Early roles in “Our Song” and “100 Centre Street” paved her way

3. The rise to Olivia Pope

Landing the role of Olivia Pope on “Scandal” in 2012 marked a turning point in Kerry’s career, but also in representation on screen. Olivia—a Black female lead who was both flawed and powerful—was unlike anything seen before at the top of network television.

For seven seasons, Kerry navigated the complexities of the character beautifully, earning acclaim and breaking barriers for actors of color. Success with “Scandal” reaffirmed her belief in the importance of diverse storytelling. Beyond personal fame, it proved that audiences were ready for fresh narratives led by underrepresented artists.

Her journey to stardom was no overnight success. Dozens of small roles, persistent auditions, and staying true to her commitments as a Black actress led her there. Kerry used the momentum from the show to advocate for more opportunities for women of color in Hollywood.

Examples

• Became the first Black female lead in network drama in nearly four decades with “Scandal”
• Earned praise for Olivia Pope’s complexity, inspiring many women
• Faced years of grinding out auditions and roles before landing the part

4. Adversity behind the spotlight

Kerry’s story isn’t a linear tale of triumph—it’s filled with personal struggles, including those stemming from her parents’ divorce. She recounts how their separation split her world in two and forced her early on to mask her emotions for the sake of family peace.

She describes mastering “code-switching” as she navigated the expectations of her parents and two distinct social environments. This emotional strain built up over time, leaving her feeling disconnected and, at times, invisible in her efforts to hold everything together.

Years later, through therapy and reflection, she began to process these wounds and reframe them as sources of strength. Kerry’s willingness to share these vulnerabilities gives a fuller picture of the resilience she developed and emphasizes the importance of seeking support and healing.

Examples

• Parents’ divorce left her alternating between two drastically different households
• Became skilled in code-switching to adapt socially and emotionally
• Therapy allowed her to reconcile with her past and embrace her vulnerabilities

5. Using her platform for activism

With newfound fame, Kerry felt compelled to advocate for systemic change in the entertainment industry and beyond. She saw her position as not only an actor but also a champion for underrepresented voices. She leveraged her influence to address issues like diversity, equal pay, and representation.

Her activist efforts range from marching in Ferguson to founding advocacy groups like Color of Change. Whether on or off the stage, she worked to disrupt the limited roles and narratives often afforded to people of color.

Kerry also used her celebrity to combine art with awareness. Productions like “Confirmation” and “American Son” were more than acting—they were statements. Her work continuously challenged viewers to confront uncomfortable truths about race and power.

Examples

• Co-founded Color of Change to promote diversity and equity
• Participated in protests against police brutality in Ferguson, Missouri
• Projects like “Confirmation” spotlight women of color’s place in political discourse

6. Motherhood’s unexpected lessons

Kerry is open about her long journey to becoming a mother, including struggles with fertility and the emotional toll of IVF. Welcoming her first child shifted her priorities in surprising ways, teaching her that perfection is neither necessary nor sustainable in family life.

She faced postpartum depression, unexpectedly finding that motherhood didn’t magically erase feelings of loneliness or insecurity. Kerry leaned heavily on therapy and her support network, emerging with a deeper understanding of self-acceptance and balance.

Her parenting style centers on nurturing confidence and emotional health in her children. She aims to give them a stable, loving environment that she lacked during her own childhood.

Examples

• Faced infertility struggles and underwent IVF treatments
• Experienced postpartum depression despite the joy of motherhood
• Promotes maternal health and confidence-building practices for kids

7. Pioneering honest conversations

Kerry leads by example when it comes to breaking stigma. From addressing her struggles with mental health to discussing fertility openly, she shows the importance of removing the shame so often tied to these topics.

Through personal essays, interviews, and now her memoir, she’s normalized hard truths that many celebrities shy away from. Now, beyond just acting, she’s committed to writing and producing content that encourages these honest conversations on screen.

Her transparency in tackling taboos lights the way for others who feel isolated by similar struggles. Kerry believes that sharing empowers healing—not just for herself, but for those who see their stories reflected back at them.

Examples

• Discussed her experience with postpartum depression to break the silence
• Brought infertility struggles into public awareness
• Produces works advocating for mental health and resilience

8. From actress to creator

Kerry expanded her influence by forming her own production company. She focuses on uplifting stories from underrepresented communities, ensuring diverse creators have a platform.

By stepping into roles of greater power in Hollywood, she’s not only shifted her career but also worked to change the industry. Her projects prioritize authentic representations and fresh voices, aiming to open doors for generations of creatives.

This transition showcases her evolution as more than just an actor—she’s equally passionate about the broader impacts of storytelling.

Examples

• Founded a production company amplifying diverse voices
• Projects include socially conscious series and films aligned with her activism
• Seeks systemic change by influencing what stories are told on screen

9. Early reflections with an eternal message

At 45, Kerry acknowledges that her memoir is unique for being written comparatively young. Yet her reflections reveal universal truths about identity, resilience, and the power of reinvention.

She hopes her openness serves as a guide for others, especially women, to embrace their imperfections and rewrite their narratives as needed. Vulnerability, she says, transcends age and career stage—it’s a daily act of courage.

Telling her story has brought clarity and self-love, lessons she hopes to pass on to her children and readers alike. Her memoir is a testament to the idea that it’s never too soon—or too late—to pause and grow from our lived experience.

Examples

• Memoir explores both struggles and achievements, dispelling myths of perfection
• Offers lessons for empowering her children and younger readers
• Sparks dialogue about balancing ambition and authenticity

Takeaways

1. Share your authentic struggles—they can connect and uplift others.
2. Seek balance: Pursue ambition, but don’t neglect self-care and personal growth.
3. Use your platform, big or small, to amplify underrepresented voices and foster change.